Chapter XI
In which Snarleyyow does not at all assist his master's cause with theWidow Vandersloosh.
It will be necessary to explain to the reader by what means the life ofour celebrated cur was preserved. When Smallbones had thrown him intothe canal, tied up, as he supposed, in his winding-sheet, what MrVanslyperken observed was true, that there were people below, and thesupposed paving-stone might have fallen upon them: the voices which heheard were those of father and son, who were in a small boat going froma galliot to the steps where they intended to land; for this canal wasnot like most others, with the water in it sufficiently high to enablepeople to step from the vessel's gunnel to the jetty. Snarleyyow fell inhis bag a few yards ahead of the boat, and the splash naturallyattracted their attention; he did not sink immediately, but flounderedand struggled so as to keep himself partly above water.
"What is that?" exclaimed the father to his son, in Dutch.
"Mein Gott! who is to know?--but we will see;" and the son took theboat-hook, and with it dragged the bread-bags towards the boat, just asthey were sinking, for Snarleyyow was exhausted with his efforts. Thetwo together dragged the bags with their contents into the boat.
"It is a dog or something," observed the son.
"Very well, but the bread-bags will be useful," replied the father, andthey pulled on to the landing-stairs. When they arrived there theylifted out the bags, laid them on the stone steps, and proceeded tounrip them, when they found Snarleyyow, who was just giving signs ofreturning animation. They took the bags with them, after having rolledhis carcass out, and left it on the steps, for there was a fine forthrowing anything into the canal. The cur soon after recovered, and wasable to stand on his legs; so soon as he could walk he made his way tothe door of the widow Vandersloosh, and howled for admittance. The widowhad retired: she had been reading her book of _prieres_, as every oneshould do, who has been cheating people all day long. She was about toextinguish her light, when this serenade saluted her ears; it becameintolerable as the dog gained strength.
Babette had long been fast asleep, and was with difficulty roused up anddirected to beat the cur away. She attempted to perform the duty, armingherself with the broom; but the moment she opened the door Snarleyyowdashed in between her legs, upsetting her on the brick pavement. Babettescreamed, and her mistress came out in the passage to ascertain thecause; the dog not being able to run into the parlour, bolted up thestairs, and snapping at the widow as he passed, secured a berthunderneath her bed.
"Oh, mein Gott! it is the dog of the lieutenant," exclaimed Babette,coming up the stairs in greater dishabille than her mistress, and withthe broom in her hand. "What shall we do--how shall we get rid of him?"
"A thousand devils may take the lieutenant, and his nasty dog, too,"exclaimed the widow, in great wrath; "this is the last time that eitherof them enter my house; try, Babette, with your broom--shove athim hard."
"Yes, ma'am," replied Babette, pushing with all her strength at the dogbeneath the bed, who seized the broom with his teeth, and pulled it awayfrom Babette. It was a struggle of strength between the girl andSnarleyyow--pull, Babette--pull, dog--one moment the broom, withtwo-thirds of the handle, disappeared under the bed, the next the maidrecovered her lost ground. Snarleyyow was first tired of thiscontention, and to prove that he had no thoughts of abandoning hisposition, he let go the broom, flew at Babette's naked legs, and havinginserted his teeth half through her ankle, he returned growling to hisformer retreat. "O dear, mein Gott!" exclaimed Babette, dropping herbroom, and holding her ankle with both hands.
"What shall we do?" cried the widow, wringing her hands.
It was indeed a case of difficulty. Mynheer Vandersloosh, before he hadquitted this transitory scene, had become a personage as bulky as thewidow herself, and the bed had been made unusually wide; the widow stillretained the bed for her own use, for there was no knowing whether shemight not again be induced to enter the hymeneal state. It occupied morethan one half of the room, and the dog had gained a position from whichit was not easy for two women to dislodge him; and, as the dog snarledand growled under the bed, so did the widow's wrath rise as she stoodshivering--and it was directed against the master. She vowed mentally,that so sure as the dog was under the bed, so sure should his masternever get into it.
And Babette's wrath was also kindled, now that the first pain of thebite had worn off; she seized the broom again, and made some furiouslunges at Snarleyyow, so furious, that he could not regain possessionwith his teeth. The door of the room had been left open that the dogmight escape--so had the street-door; and the widow stood at the foot ofthe bed, waiting for some such effect being produced by Babette'svigorous attacks; but the effects were not such as she anticipated; thedog became more enraged, and at last sprang out at the foot of the bed,flew at the widow, tore her only garment, and bit her in the leg. FrauVandersloosh screamed and reeled--reeled against the door left halfopen, and falling against it, slammed it to with her weight, and felldown shrieking. Snarleyyow, who probably had intended to make off,seeing that his escape was prevented, again retreated under the bed, andas soon as he was there he recommenced an attack upon Babette's legs.
Now, it appears, that what the united courage of the two females couldnot accomplish, was at last effected by their united fears. The widowVandersloosh gained her legs as soon as she could, and at first openedthe door to run out, but her night dress was torn to ribbons in front.She looked at her situation--modesty conquered every other feeling--sheburst into tears, and exclaiming, "Mr Vanslyperken! Mr Vanslyperken!"she threw herself in an ecstasy of grief and rage on the centre of thebed. At the same moment the teeth of the dog were again fixed upon theankles of Babette, who also shrieked, and threw herself on the bed, andupon her mistress. The bed was a good bed, and had for years done itsduty; but you may even overload a bed, and so it proved in thisinstance. The united weights of the mistress and the maid coming downupon it with such emphasis, was more than the bed could bear--thesacking gave way altogether, and the mattress which they lay upon wasnow supported by the floor.
But this misfortune was their preservation--for when the mattress camedown, it came down upon Snarleyyow. The animal contrived to clear hisloins, or he would have perished; but he could not clear his long mangytail, which was now caught and firmly fixed in a new species of trap,the widow's broadest proportions having firmly secured him by it.Snarleyyow pulled, and pulled, but he pulled in vain--he was fixed--hecould not bite, for the mattress was between them--he pulled, and hehowled, and barked, and turned himself every way, and yelped; and hadnot his tail been of coarse and thick dimensions, he might have left itbehind him, so great were his exertions; but, no, it was impossible. Thewidow was a widow of substance, as Vanslyperken had imagined, and as shenow proved to the dog--the only difference was, that the master wishedto be in the very situation which the dog was now so anxious to escapefrom--to wit, tailed on to the widow. Babette, who soon perceived thatthe dog was so, now got out of the bed, and begging her mistress not tomove an inch, and seizing the broom, she hammered Snarleyyow mostunmercifully, without any fear of retaliation. The dog redoubled hisexertions, and the extra weight of Babette being now removed, he was atlast able to withdraw his appendage, and probably-feeling that there wasnow no chance of a quiet night's rest in his present quarters, he made abolt out of the room, down the stairs, and into the street. Babettechased him down, threw the broom at his head as he cleared thethreshold, and then bolted the door.
"O the beast!" exclaimed Babette, going up stairs again, out of breath;"he's gone at last, ma'am."
"Yes," replied the widow, rising up with difficulty from the hole madewith her own centre of gravity; "and--and his master shall go too. Makelove indeed--the atomy--the shrimp--the dried-up stock-fish. Love,quotha--and refuse to hang a cur like that. O dear! O dear! get mesomething to put on. One of my best chemises all in rags--and his nastyteeth in my leg in two places, Babette. Well, well, Mr Vanslyperken, weshall see--I don't care for their
custom. Mr Vanslyperken, you'll notsit on my sofa again, I can tell you;--hug your nasty cur--quite goodenough for you. Yes, yes, Mr Vanslyperken."
By this time the widow had received a fresh supply of linen fromBabette; and as soon as she had put it on she rose from the bed, thefractured state of which again called forth her indignation.
"Thirty-two years have I had this bed, wedded and single, Babette!"exclaimed the widow. "For sixteen years did I sleep on that bed with thelamented Mr Vandersloosh--for sixteen years have I slept in it, a lonewidow--but never till now did it break down. How am I to sleep to-night?What am I to do, Babette?"
"'Twas well it did break down, ma'am," replied Babette, who wassmoothing down the jagged skin at her ankles; "or we should never havegot the nasty biting brute out of the house."
"Very well--very well. Yes, yes, Mr Vanslyperken--marriage, indeed, I'das soon marry his cur."
"Mein Gott!" exclaimed Babette. "I think madame, if you did marry, youwould soon find the master as cross as the dog; but I must makethis bed."
Babette proceeded to examine the mischief, and found that it was onlythe cords which tied the sacking which had given way, and consideringthat they had done their office for thirty-two years, and the strainwhich had been put upon them after so long a period, there was not muchto complain of. A new cord was procured, and, in a quarter of an hour,all was right again; and the widow, who had sat in the chair fuming andblowing off her steam, as soon as Babette had turned down the bed,turned in again, muttering, "Yes, yes, Mr Vanslyperken--marriage indeed.Well, well, we shall see. Stop till to-morrow, Mr Vanslyperken;" and asBabette has closed the curtains, so will we close this chapter.