Read Snarleyyow, or, the Dog Fiend Page 25


  Chapter XXIV

  In which Mr Vanslyperken has nothing but trouble from the beginning tothe end.

  So soon as the cutter had sailed, Moggy hastened to the pretended widowto report the answer of her husband. Nancy considered that there wasmuch sound judgment in what Jemmy had said, and immediately repaired tothe house of the Jew, Lazarus, to whom she communicated her wishes. Atthat time, there were many people high in office who secretly favouredKing James, and the links of communication between such humbleindividuals as we are treating of, with those in power, althoughdistant, were perfect.

  In a few days, an order came down for the discharge of James Salisburyfrom the cutter _Yungfrau_, and the letter the same day was put into thehands of the delighted Moggy.

  Mr Vanslyperken made his short passage to the Zuyder Zee, and anchoredas usual; and when he had anchored, he proceeded to go on shore.Previously, however, to his stepping into the boat, the ship's companycame aft, with Jemmy at their head, to know whether they might haveleave on shore, as they were not very well pleased at their libertyhaving been stopped at Portsmouth.

  Mr Vanslyperken very politely told them that he would see them all atthe devil first, and then stepped into his boat; he at once proceeded tothe house of the Jesuit, and this time, much to his satisfaction,without having been perceived, as he thought, by the widow Vanderslooshand Babette, who did not appear at the door. Having delivered hisdespatches, and received his customary fee, Mr Vanslyperken mentionedthe difficulty of his coming to the house, as he was watched by somepeople opposite, and inquired if he could have the letters sent undercover to himself by some trusty hand, mentioning the ill-will of theparties in question. To this the Jesuit consented, and Vanslyperken tookhis leave; but on leaving the house he was again annoyed by the broadform of the widow, with Babette, as usual, at her shoulder, with theireyes fixed upon him. Without attempting a recognition, for Vanslyperkencared little for the opinion of the Frau Vandersloosh, now that he wasaccepted by the fair widow of Portsmouth, Mr Vanslyperken walkedquietly away.

  "Ah, very well, Mr Vanslyperken--very well," exclaimed the FrauVandersloosh, as he pursued his way at a rapid rate; "very well, MrVanslyperken--we shall see--three times have you entered those doors,and with a fifty guineas in your pocket, I'll be bound, every time thatyou have walked out of them. Treason is paid high, but the traitorsometimes hangs higher still. Yes, yes, Mr Vanslyperken, we shallsee--we are evidence, Mr Vanslyperken--and I'll not be married before Isee you well hanged, Mr Vanslyperken. Deary me, Babette," exclaimed thewidow, altering her tone, "I wonder how the corporal is: poor dear man,to be ruled by such a traitorous atomy as he."

  "Perhaps he will come ashore, madam," replied Babette.

  "No, no, he will never let him; but, as you say, perhaps he may. Puthalf a dozen bottles of the best beer to the stove--not too near,Babette--he is fond of my beer, and it does one's heart good to see himdrink it, Babette. And, Babette, I'll just go up and put on something alittle tidier. I think he will come--I know he will if he can."

  We must leave the widow to decorate her person, and follow Vanslyperkendown to the boat, and on board. On his arrival, he went down into thecabin to lock up his money. When Corporal Van Spitter went to thecabin-door, the corporal heard the clanking of the pieces asVanslyperken counted them, and his bile was raised at the idea ofVanslyperken possessing that which should have been his own. Thecorporal waited a little, and then knocked. Vanslyperken put away therest of his money, shut the drawer, and told him to come in.

  The corporal saluted, and made a request to be allowed to go on shorefor an hour or two.

  "Go on shore! _you_ go on shore, corporal? why you never asked to go onshore before," replied the suspicious Vanslyperken.

  "If you please, sir," replied the corporal, "I wish to pay de peoplewho gave me de board and de lodging ven I vas last on shore."

  "Ah, very true, I forgot that, corporal. Well, then, you may go onshore; but do not stop long, for the people are much inclined to mutiny,and I cannot do without you."

  The corporal quitted the cabin and was put on shore by two of the men inthe small boat. He hastened up to the widow's house, and was receivedwith open arms. Seated on the squab sofa, with a bottle of beer on thetable, and five others all ready at the stove, the widow's smilesbeaming on him, who could be more happy than the Corporal Van Spitter?The blinds were up at the windows, the front door fast to preventintrusion, and then the widow and he entered into a long colloquy,interrupted occasionally by little amorous dallyings, which reminded youof the wooings of a male and female elephant.

  We shall give the substance of the conversation. The widow expressed herindignation against Vanslyperken, and her resolution not to be marrieduntil he was hanged. The corporal immediately became an interestedparty, and vowed that he would assist all in his power. He narrated allthat had passed since he had left the widow's, and the supernaturalappearance of the dog after he had thrown it overboard. He then pointedout that it was necessary that Vanslyperken should not only be blindedas to the state of matters between them, but that, to entrap him stillmore, the widow should, if possible, make friends with him. To this thewidow unwillingly consented; but as the corporal pointed out that thatwas the only chance of her occasionally seeing him, and that by hispretending to be in love with Babette, Vanslyperken might be deceivedcompletely, she did consent; the more so, that the greater would be hisdisappointment at the end, the more complete would be her vengeance.Their plans being arranged, it was then debated whether it would not bebetter to send some message on board to Vanslyperken, and it was agreedthat it should be taken by the corporal. At last all was arranged, thesix bottles of beer were finished, and the corporal having beenpermitted to imprint as many hearty smacks upon the widow's thick andjuicy lips, he returned on board.

  "Come on board, Mynheer Vanslyperken," said the corporal, entering thecabin.

  "Very well, corporal; did you do all you wanted? for we sail again atdaylight."

  "Yes, mynheer, and I see somebody I never see before."

  "Who was that, corporal?" replied Vanslyperken, for he had been feastingupon the recollections of the fair Portsmouth widow, and was in a verygood humour.

  "One fine Frau, Mynheer Vanslyperken--very fine Frau. Babette came up tome in the street."

  "Oh, Babette--well, what did she say?"

  Hereupon the corporal, as agreed with the widow, entered into a longexplanation, stating his Babette had told him that her mistress was verymuch surprised that Mr Vanslyperken had passed close to the door, andhad never come in to call upon her; that her mistress had been quitesatisfied with Mr Vanslyperken's letter, and would wish to see himagain; and that he, the corporal, had told Babette the dog had beendestroyed by him, Mr Vanslyperken, and he hoped he had done right insaying so.

  "No," replied Vanslyperken, "you have done wrong; and if you go on shoreagain, you may just give this answer, that Mr Vanslyperken don't care ad--n for the old woman; that she may carry her carcass to some othermarket, for Mr Vanslyperken would not touch her with a pair of tongs.Will you recollect that, corporal?"

  "Yes," replied the corporal, grinding his teeth at this insult to hisbetrothed, "yes, mynheer, I will recollect that. Mein Gott! I shall notforget it."

  "Kill my dog, heh!" continued Vanslyperken, talking to himself aloud."Yes, yes, Frau Vandersloosh, you shall fret to some purpose. I'llworry down your fat for you. Yes, yes, Madam Vandersloosh, you shallbite your nails to the quick yet. Nothing would please you butSnarleyyow dead at your porch. My dog, indeed!--you may go now,corporal."

  "Mein Gott! but ve vill see as well as you, Mynheer Vanslyperken."muttered the corporal, as he walked forward.

  After dark, a man came alongside in a small boat, and desired to see MrVanslyperken. As soon as he was in the cabin and the door shut, he laidsome letters on the table, and without saying a word went on deck and onshore again. At daybreak the cutter weighed, and ran with a fair wind toPortsmouth.

  With what a bounding heart di
d Mr Vanslyperken step into the boatattired in his best! He hardly could prevail upon himself to report hisarrival to the admiral, so impatient was he to throw himself at the fairwidow's feet, and claim her promise upon his return. He did so, however,and then proceeded to the house in Castle Street.

  His heart beat rapidly as he knocked at the door, and he awaited theopening with impatience. At last it was opened, but not by the widow'sservant. "Is Mrs Malcolm at home?" inquired Vanslyperken.

  "Malcolm, sir!" replied the woman; "do you mean the lady who was livinghere, and left yesterday?"

  "Left yesterday!" exclaimed Vanslyperken, hardly able to stand on hisfeet.

  "Yes, only yesterday afternoon. Went away with a gentleman."

  "A gentleman!" exclaimed Vanslyperken, all amazement.

  "Yes, sir; pray, sir, be you the officer of the king's cutter?"

  "I am!" exclaimed Vanslyperken, leaning against the door-jamb forsupport.

  "Then, sir, here be a letter for you." So saying, the woman pulled upher dirty apron, then her gown, and at last arrived at a queer fustianpocket, out of which she produced the missive, which had been jumbled incompany with a bit of wax, a ball of blue worsted, some halfpence, acopper thimble, and a lump of Turkey rhubarb, from all of whichcompanions it had received a variety of hues and colours. Vanslyperkenseized the letter as soon as it was produced, and passing by the woman,went into the dining-parlour, where, with feelings of anxiety, he satdown, brushed the perspiration from his forehead, and read as follows:

  "_My dear, dear, ever dear Mr Vanslyperken,_

  "Pity me, pity me, O pity me! Alas! how soon is the cup of bliss dashed from the lips of us poor mortals. I can hardly write, hardly hold my pen, or hold my head up. I cannot bear that, from my hand, you should be informed of the utter blight of all our hopes which blossomed so fully. Alas! alas! but it must be. O my head, my poor, poor head--how it swims! I was sitting at the fireside, thinking when you would return, and trying to find out if the wind was fair, when I heard a knock at the door. It was so like yours, that my heart beat, and I ran to the window, but I could not see who it was, so I sat down again. Imagine my surprise, my horror, my vexation, my distress, my agony, when who should come in but my supposed dead husband! I thought I should have died when I saw him. I dropped as it was, down into a swoon, and when I came to my senses, there he was hanging over me; thinking, poor fool, that I had swooned for joy, and kissing me--pah! yes, kissing me. O dear! O dear! My dear Mr Vanslyperken, I thought of you, and what your feelings would be, when you know all this; but there he was alive, and in good health, and now I have nothing more to do but to lie down and die.

  "It appears that in my ravings I called upon you over and over again, and discovered the real state of my poor bleeding heart, and he was very angry: he packed up everything, and he insisted upon my leaving Portsmouth. Alas! I shall be buried in the north, and never see you again. But why should I, my dear Mr Vanslyperken? what good will come of it? I am a virtuous woman, and will be so: but, O dear! I can write no more.

  "Farewell, then, farewell! Farewell for ever! Dear Mr Vanslyperken, think no more of your disconsolate, unhappy, heart-broken, miserable

  "ANN MALCOLM.

  "_P.S._--For my sake you will adhere to the good cause; I know you will, my dearest."

  Mr Vanslyperken perused this heart-rending epistle, and fell back on hischair almost suffocated. The woman, who had stood in the passage whilehe read the letter, came to his assistance, and pouring some water intohis mouth, and throwing a portion of it over his face, partially revivedhim. Vanslyperken's head fell on the table upon his hands, and for someminutes remained in that position. He then rose, folded the letter, putit in his pocket, and staggered out of the house without saying a word.

  O Nancy Corbett! Nancy Corbett! this was all your doing.

  You had gained your point in winning over the poor man to committreason--you had waited till he was so entangled that he could notescape, or in future refuse to obey the orders of the Jacobiteparty--you had seduced him, Nancy Corbett--you had intoxicated him--inshort, Nancy, you had ruined him, and then you threw him over by thisinsidious and perfidious letter.

  Vanslyperken walked away, he hardly knew whither--his mind was a chaos.It did so happen, that he took the direction of his mother's house, and,as he gradually recovered himself, he hastened there to give vent to hisfeelings. The old woman seldom or ever went out; if she did, it was inthe dusk, to purchase in one half-hour enough to support existence for afortnight.

  She was at home with her door locked, as usual, when he demandedadmittance.

  "Come in, child, come in," said the old beldame, as with palsied handsshe undid the fastenings. "I dreamt of you, last night, Cornelius, andwhen I dream of others it bodes them no good."

  Vanslyperken sat down on a chest, without giving any answer. He put hishand up to his forehead, and groaned in the bitterness of his spirit.

  "Ah! ah!" said his mother "I have put my hand up in that way in my time.Yes, yes--when my brain burned--when I had done the deed. What have youdone, my child? Pour out your feelings into your mother's bosom. Tell meall--tell me why--and tell me, did you get any money?"

  "I have lost everything," replied Vanslyperken, in a melancholy tone.

  "Lost everything! then you must begin over again, and take from otherstill you have recovered all. That's the way--I'll have more yet, beforeI die. I shall not die yet--no, no."

  Vanslyperken remained silent for some time. He then, as usual, impartedto his mother all that had occurred.

  "Well, well, my child; but there is the other one. Gold is gold, onewife is as good--to neglect--as another. My child, never marry a womanfor love--she will make a fool of you. You have had a lucky escape--Isee you have, Cornelius. But where is the gold you said you took forturning traitor--where is it?"

  "I shall bring it on shore to-morrow, mother."

  "Do, child, do. They may find you out--they may hang you--but they shallnever wrest the gold from me. It will be safe--quite safe, with me, aslong as I live. I shall not die yet--no, no."

  Vanslyperken rose to depart; he was anxious to be aboard.

  "Go, child, go. I have hopes of you--you have murdered, have you not?"

  "No, no," replied Vanslyperken, "he lives yet."

  "Then try again. At all events, you have wished to murder, and you havesold your country for gold. Cornelius Vanslyperken, by the hatred I bearthe whole world, I feel that I almost love you now;--I see you are myown child. Now go, and mind to-morrow you bring the gold."

  Vanslyperken quitted the house, and walked down to go on board again;the loss of the fair widow, all his hopes dashed at once to the ground,his having neglected the widow Vandersloosh and sent her an insultingmessage, had only the effect of raising his bile. He vowed vengeanceagainst everybody and everything, especially against Smallbones, whom hewas determined he would sacrifice: murder now was no longer horrible tohis ideas; on the contrary, there was a pleasure in meditating upon it,and the loss of the expected fortune of the fair Mrs Malcolm only madehim more eager to obtain gold, and he contemplated treason as the meansof so doing without any feelings of compunction.

  On his arrival on board, he found an order from the Admiralty todischarge James Salisbury. This added to his choler and his meditationsof revenge. Jemmy Ducks had not been forgotten; and he determined not tomake known the order until he had punished him for his mutinousexpressions; but Moggy had come on board during his absence, anddelivered to her husband the letter from the Admiralty notifying hisdischarge. Vanslyperken sent for Corporal Van Spitter to consult, butthe corporal informed him that Jemmy Ducks knew of his discharge.Vanslyperken's anger was now without bounds. He hastened on deck, andordered the hands to be turned up for punishment, but Corporal VanSpitter hastened to give warning to Jemmy, who did not pipe the handswhen ordered.

&nb
sp; "Where is that scoundrel, James Salisbury?" cried Vanslyperken.

  "Here is James Salisbury," replied Jemmy, coming aft.

  "Turn the hands up for punishment, sir."

  "I don't belong to the vessel," replied Jemmy, going forward.

  "Corporal Van Spitter--where is Corporal Van Spitter?"

  "Here, sir," said the corporal, coming up the hatchway in a pretendedbustle.

  "Bring that man, Salisbury, aft."

  "Yes, sir," replied the corporal, going forward with assumed eagerness.

  But all the ship's company had resolved that this act of injusticeshould not be done. Salisbury was no longer in the service, and althoughthey knew the corporal to be on their side, they surrounded Jemmy on theforecastle, and the corporal came aft, declaring that he could not getnear the prisoner. As he made this report a loud female voice was heardalongside.

  "So, you'd flog my Jemmy, would you, you varmint? But you won't though;he's not in the service, and you sha'n't touch him; but I'll tell youwhat, keep yourself on board, Mr Leeftenant, for if I cotches you onshore, I'll make you sing in a way you don't think on. Yes, flog myJemmy, my dear darling duck of a Jemmy--stop a minute--I'mcoming aboard."

  Suiting the action to the word, for the sailors had beckoned to Moggy tocome on board, she boldly pulled alongside, and skipping over, she wentup direct to Mr Vanslyperken. "I'll just trouble you for my husband, andno mistake," cried Moggy.

  "Corporal Van Spitter, turn that woman out of the ship."

  "Turn me, a lawful married woman, who comes arter my own husband withthe orders of your masters, Mr Leeftenant!--I'd like to see the man. Iaxes you for my Jemmy, and I'll trouble you just to hand him here--ifnot, look out for squalls, that's all. I demand my husband in the king'sname, so just hand him over," continued Moggy, putting her nose so closeto that of Mr Vanslyperken that they nearly touched, and then after afew seconds' pause, for Vanslyperken could not speak for rage, sheadded, "Well, you're a nice leeftenant, I don't think."

  "Send for your marines, Corporal Van Spitter."

  "I have, Mynheer Vanslyperken," replied the corporal, standing erect andsaluting; "and if you please, sir, they have joined the ship's company.You and I, mynheer, are left to ourselves."

  "I'll just trouble you for my little duck of a husband," repeated Moggy.Vanslyperken was at a nonplus. The crew were in a state of mutiny, themarines had joined them--what could he do? To appeal to the higherauthorities would be committing himself, for he knew that he could notflog a man who no longer belonged to the vessel.

  "I wants my husband," repeated Moggy, putting her arms a-kimbo.

  Mr Vanslyperken made no reply. The corporal waited for orders, and Moggywaited for her husband.

  Just at this moment, Snarleyyow, who had followed his master on deck,had climbed up the small ladder, and was looking over the gunnel on theside where the boat lay in which Moggy came on board. Perceiving this,with the quickness of thought she ran at the dog and pushed him over theside into the boat, in which he fell with a heavy bound; she thendescended the side, ordered the man to shove off, and kept at a shortdistance from the cutter with the dog in her possession.

  "Now, now," cried Moggy, slapping her elbow, "hav'n't I got the dog, andwon't I cut him up into sassingers and eat him in the bargain, if youwon't give me my dear darling Jemmy and all his papers in the bargain?"

  "Man the boat," cried Vanslyperken. But no one would obey the order.

  "Look here," cried Moggy, flourishing a knife which she had borrowedfrom the man in the boat. "This is for the cur; and unless you let myJemmy go, ay and directly too--"

  "Mercy, woman!" exclaimed Vanslyperken, "Do not harm the poor dog, andyour husband shall go on shore."

  "With his papers all ready to receive his pay?" inquired Moggy.

  "Yes, with his papers and everything, if you'll not harm the poorbeast."

  "Be quick about them, for my fingers are itching, I can tell you,"replied Moggy. "Recollect, I will have my Jemmy, and cut the dog'sthroat in the bargain if you don't look sharp."

  "Directly, good woman, directly," cried Vanslyperken, "be patient."

  "Good woman! no more a good woman than yourself," replied Moggy.

  Vanslyperken desired the corporal to see Jemmy Ducks in the boat, andwent down into the cabin to sign his pay order. He then returned, for hewas dreadfully alarmed lest Moggy should put her threats in execution.

  Jemmy's chest and hammocks were in the boat. He shook hands with hisshipmates, and receiving the papers and his discharge from Corporal VanSpitter, and exchanging an intelligent glance with him, he went down theside. The boat pulled round the stern to take in Moggy, who then orderedthe waterman to put the dog on board again.

  "My word's as good as my bond," observed Moggy, as she stepped into theother boat, "and so there's your cur again, Mr Leeftenant; but mark mywords: I owe you one, and I'll pay you with interest before I have donewith you."

  Jemmy then raised his pipe to his lips, and sounded its loudest note:the men gave him three cheers, and Mr Vanslyperken in a paroxysm offury, ran down into his cabin.