Chapter XXXVIII
In which Mr Vanslyperken is taken for a witch.
Mr Vanslyperken hastened into the street, and walked towards the heap ofcabbage-leaves, in which he observed the object of his wishes to havefallen; but there was some one there before him, an old sow, very busygroping among the refuse. Although Vanslyperken came on shore withouteven a stick in his hand, he had no fear of a pig, and walked up boldlyto drive her away, fully convinced that, although she might likecabbage, not being exactly carnivorous, he should find the tail in_status quo_. But it appeared that the sow not only would not standbeing interfered with, but, moreover, was carnivorously inclined; forshe was at that very moment routing the tail about with her nose, andreceived Vanslyperken's advance with a very irascible grunt, throwingher head up at him with a savage augh; and then again busied herselfwith the fragment of Snarleyyow. Vanslyperken, who had started back,perceived that the sow was engaged with the very article in question;and finding it was a service of more danger than he had expected, pickedup one or two large stones, and threw them at the animal to drive heraway. This mode of attack had the effect desired in one respect; the sowmade a retreat, but at the same time she would not retreat without the_bonne bouche_, which she carried away in her mouth.
Vanslyperken followed; but the sow proved that she could fight as wellas run, every minute turning round to bay, and chumping and grumbling ina very formidable manner. At last, after Vanslyperken had chased for aquarter of a mile, he received unexpected assistance from a large dog,who bounded from the side of the road, where he lay in the sun, andseizing the sow by the ear, made her drop the tail to save herown bacon.
Vanslyperken was delighted; he hastened up as fast as he could to regainhis treasure, when, to his mortification, the great dog, who had leftthe sow, arrived at the spot before him, and after smelling at the notone bone, but many bones of contention, he took it in his mouth, andtrotted off to his former berth in the sunshine, laid himself down, andthe tail before him.
"Surely one dog won't eat another dog's tail," thought Vanslyperken, ashe walked up to the animal; but an eye like fire, a deep growl, andexposure of a range of teeth equal to a hyena's, convinced MrVanslyperken that it would be wise to retreat--which he did, to arespectable distance, and attempted to coax the dog. "Poor doggy,there's a dog," cried Vanslyperken, snapping his fingers, andapproaching gradually. To his horror, the dog did the same thingexactly: he rose, and approached Mr Vanslyperken gradually, and snappedhis fingers: not content with that, he flew at him, and tore the skirtof his great-coat clean off, and also the hinder part of his trousersfor Mr Vanslyperken immediately turned tail, and the dog appearedresolved to have his tail as well as that of his darling cur. Satisfiedwith about half a yard of broadcloth as a trophy, the dog returned tohis former situation, and remained with the tail of the coat and thetail of the cur before him, with his fierce eyes fixed upon MrVanslyperken, who had now retreated to a greater distance.
But this transaction was not unobserved by several of the people whoinhabited the street of cottages. Many eyes were directed to where MrVanslyperken and the sow and dog had been at issue, and many were theconjectures thereon.
When the dog retreated with the skirt of the great-coat, many came outto ascertain what was the cause of the dispute, and among others, theman to whom the dog belonged, and who lived at the cottage opposite towhere the dog had lain down. He observed Vanslyperken, looking very muchlike a vessel whose sails have been split in a gale, and very rueful atthe same time, standing at a certain distance, quite undecided how toact, and he called out to him, "What is it you may want with mydog, man?"
Man! Vanslyperken thought this designation an affront; whereas, in ouropinion, Vanslyperken was an affront to the name of man. "Man!"exclaimed Vanslyperken; "why your dog has taken my property!"
"Then take your property," replied the other, tossing to him the skirtof his coat, which he had taken from the dog.
By this time there was a crowd collected from out of the varioussurrounding tenements.
"That's not all," exclaimed Vanslyperken; "he has got my dog's tailthere."
"Your dog's tail!" exclaimed the man, "what do you mean? Is it thisragged mangy thing you would have?" and the man took the tail ofSnarleyyow, and held it up to the view of the assembled crowd.
"Yes," replied Vanslyperken, coming towards the man with eagerness;"that is what I want," and he held out his hand to receive it.
"And pray, may I ask," replied the other, looking very suspiciously atVanslyperken, "what can you want with this piece of carrion?"
"To make soup of," replied another, laughing; "he can't afford ox-tail."
Vanslyperken made an eager snatch at his treasure; but the man lifted itup on the other side, out of his reach.
"Let us have a look at this chap," said the first, examiningVanslyperken, whose peaked nose and chin, small ferret eyes, anddowncast look were certainly not in his favour; neither were his old andnow tattered habiliments. Certainly no one would have taken Vanslyperkenfor a king's officer--unfortunately they took him for something else.
"Now tell me, fellow, what were you going to do with this?" inquired theman in a severe tone.
"I sha'n't tell you," replied Vanslyperken.
"Why that's the chap that I sees go in and out of the room where thatold hell-fire witch lives, who curses all day long."
"I thought as much," observed the man, who still held up the cur's tail."Now I appeal to you all, what can a fellow want with such as this--ay,my good people, and want it so much too, as to risk being torn to piecesfor it--if he arn't inclined to evil practices?"
"That's sartain sure," replied another.
"A witch--a witch!" cried the whole crowd.
"Let's duck him--tie his thumbs--away with him--come along, my lads,away with him."
Although there were not, at the time we write about, regularwitch-finders, as in the time of James I., still the feeling againstwitches, and the belief that they practised, still existed. They were nolonger handed over to summary and capital punishment, but wheneversuspected they were sure to meet with very rough treatment. Such was thefate of Mr Vanslyperken, who was now seized by the crowd, buffeted, andspit upon, and dragged to the parish pump, there being, fortunately forhim, no horse-pond near. After having been well beaten, pelted with mud,his clothes torn off his back, his hat taken away and stamped upon, hewas held under the pump and drenched for nearly half-an-hour, until helay beneath the spout in a state of complete exhaustion. The crowd werethen satisfied, and he was left to get away how he could, which he did,after a time, in a most deplorable plight, bare-headed, in his shirt andtorn trousers. He contrived to walk as far as to the house where hismother resided, was admitted to her room, when he fell exhausted on thebed. The old woman was astonished; and having some gin in her cupboard,revived him by administering a small quantity, and, in the course ofhalf-an-hour, Vanslyperken could tell his story; but all the consolationhe received from the old beldame was, "Serve you right too, for beingsuch an ass. I suppose you'll be bringing the stupid people about myears soon--they've hooted me before now. Ah, well--I'll not be pumpedupon for nothing--my knife is a sharp one."
Vanslyperken had clothes under his mother's charge, and he dressedhimself in another suit, and then hastened away, much mortified andconfounded with the latter events of the day. The result of hisarrangements with his mother was, however, a balm to his wounded spirit,and he looked upon Smallbones as already dead. He hastened down into hiscabin, as soon as he arrived on board, to ascertain the condition ofSnarleyyow, whom he found as well as could be expected, and occasionallymaking unavailing attempts to lick the stump of his tail.
"My poor dog!" exclaimed Vanslyperken, "what have you suffered, and whathave I suffered for you? Alas! if I am to suffer as I have to-day foronly your tail, what shall I go through for your whole body?" And, asVanslyperken recalled his misfortunes, so did his love increase for theanimal who was the cause of them. Why so, we cannot tell, except th
at ithas been so from the beginning, is so now, and always will be the case,for the best of all possible reasons--that it is _human nature_.