“It does. Sorta. I mean, I think I get what you’re saying. So if I didn’t have a girlfriend, how many dates would we have?”
I released a big sigh. “Hard to say.”
“What’s the most you’ve ever had with one guy?”
“Three.”
“It must be hard to break up with someone.”
“There’s no breaking up. We just stop dating.”
“Right.”
“Nathalie’s probably wondering where you are.”
“Probably. I’d better go.” He tapped the DVD clutched in my gloved hand. “Call if you get scared.”
He turned on his heel and walked away. I should have gone into the house, but I didn’t. I stood there until I couldn’t see him anymore.
I hadn’t even started to watch the movie yet, and I was scared.
Scared that I’d never meet anyone I wanted to be with as badly as I wanted to be with Josh.
13
The next morning I woke up and could barely move my legs without moaning. Apparently the day before I’d used muscles in my thighs that I hadn’t even realized I had.
I hobbled down the stairs. It was really quiet on the second floor. No one was working yet.
I slowly made my way to the kitchen. Mom and Mr. Wynter were sitting at the table drinking coffee. The room smelled like bacon and maple syrup. Mom must have fixed breakfast.
“Are you okay?” Mom asked.
“Yeah, just a little sore from the trek I made yesterday.” I shuffled to the counter and poured my coffee, prepped it just the way I liked it, and took a long sip.
Leaning against the counter, I thought about asking if Josh was here. But would that make them wonder why I cared?
“Why don’t you come sit down?” Mom asked.
“Because I’m afraid if I sit, I may never be able to get back up.” I glanced over at Mr. Wynter. “I guess Josh isn’t sore.”
“I doubt it, but he had something to take care of today, so he won’t be working with me.”
I was surprised by the disappointment that hammered into me. I looked out the window at the mounds of white and thought of kissing in the snow…
Great, just great. Was everything going to remind me of him?
I spent the morning finishing off the stenciling in the guestroom—although my thighs protested climbing the ladder. Then I went to my bedroom and began designing the website for the B&B. Mom had already given me a lot of the information that she wanted to publicize, so I just had to organize it, design some graphics, and use the creative side of my brain.
I love doing the layout of a new page, and normally, I get lost in the process. But today I found myself staring through the window toward Nathalie’s house, wondering if what Josh had to do involved being with her. Maybe he was feeding her chicken noodle soup. Rubbing her feet. Warming up blankets for her.
Confessing that he’d kissed me.
I didn’t understand why I kept thinking about him. I never thought about a guy this much.
The knock outside my room barely registered with me.
“Door’s open!”
It opened slowly, and Josh peered inside. “Actually, it’s not.”
I tried to act calm and cool by just sitting in my chair, but it’s one of those with a swiveling seat and I almost made myself dizzy by how much half swiveling I was doing, one way, then the other, back and forth, back and forth.
“That’s just an expression,” I said.
“But it’s wrong.”
I couldn’t believe how glad I was to see him. “Yeah, well, I wasn’t expecting Mr. Dictionary.”
Grinning, he tossed something at me. I caught the plastic jar before it crashed to the floor. “What’s this?”
“A warm therapy gel. You rub it on your legs to help ease the stiffness.”
“How did you know I was stiff?”
“Lucky guess.”
I wrapped both my hands around it. “Thanks. I am pretty sore.”
“The balm is all-natural. I use it all the time after games. I brought you something else, too.” He opened the door wider and carried in a bookshelf.
“Oh, wow!” I set the jar on the desk and got to my feet. Groaning with the sudden movement, I walked toward him like I’d turned into a zombie.
The shelf fit perfectly in the little nook where the ceiling slanted. At the narrow end where books couldn’t fit, he’d put little cubbyholes.
“Thought you could put your little mice in those,” he said.
“That’s great!” I ran my hand over one of the smooth shelves. “I didn’t expect it to be this nice. Really, I don’t know how to thank you.”
I looked at him then and sorta wished I hadn’t, because I had a feeling he was thinking that a kiss would be a great way to say thank you.
“How’s Nathalie?” I felt compelled to ask, to remind him—and me—that there was someone else.
“She’s good.”
“I’m glad.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Our conversation was in danger of putting me to sleep.
He moved from beneath the low ceiling so he could stand up straight.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he said.
Okay, that woke me up.
“You have to.” I moved to the desk and picked up the jar. “Thanks for everything.”
“Do you think about me?”
“Not really.”
“Not at all?”
“Look, there’s another woman in my dad’s life, and I don’t like the way it makes me feel or makes my mom feel, so I’m not going to do that to someone.”
He nodded. “You’re right. So, you going on the hayride tonight?”
“Is there a reason I shouldn’t?”
Or a reason that it’s any of your business?
“Nah, I was just curious.”
“Yeah, I’m planning to go.”
“Good. I’ll catch you later, then.”
I watched him walk out of my room. Then I looked at the shelves and I knew I’d lied.
Did I think about him?
Almost every minute of every hour since he’d kissed me.
14
I figured the best way to stop thinking about Josh was to focus on Chase. Maybe I’d even break my dating record with him and go for an amazing four dates.
So I decided to take this hayride seriously. I was going to wear knockout clothes. Or as close to knockout as I could get and still be warm. Which actually, when I got right down to it, meant no knockout at all.
I stuffed the legs of my jeans into my fur-lined boots and mentally patted myself on the back for being smart enough to purchase them. My feet, at least, should be warm, especially since I’d insulated them with two layers of socks.
I wore a thin sweater beneath my thick sweater and wrapped a woolen scarf around my neck.
Since the goal was to capture Chase’s attention, I decided to go without a woolen cap pulled down over my ears. I mean, how cold could it be? In the wagon, wouldn’t the sides act as a buffer against the wind? And wouldn’t I be snuggled against Chase anyway?
I thought about wearing my leather jacket. It was usually all I wore during the winter in Texas. But when I looked outside and saw a few flakes of snow drifting through the glow of the street lamps, I decided to be more practical. I put on my thick parka, which pretty much ruined the hot look I’d been trying to attain.
Unless I wore it unzipped. Then it didn’t look too bad. I would have to see how long I could go with the cold wind battering my chest before I gave in and zipped it up.
“Zip up your coat,” Mom said when I came downstairs.
“Mom, I’ll be fine.”
Chase was standing in the entryway. I wondered if Mr. Wynter could wire the doorbell so it would sound in my bedroom. I never knew when people had arrived.
Chase was wearing jeans, a sweater with polar bears on it, and a jacket that wasn’t buttoned. I had a feeling he wouldn’t button it, no matter how co
ld the night got.
“I told Shanna to pick us up here,” he said. “Hope that’s okay.”
“Sure.”
An uneasy silence filled the space—probably because Mom was standing there. I said something I thought I’d never say. “Why don’t we wait outside, so we don’t miss her?”
“Sounds great.”
Mom told me again to zip up my coat before she instructed us to have fun.
Chase and I stood on the porch. I stuffed my gloved hands into my jacket and hunched my shoulders against the cold. I cursed and zipped up my jacket.
Chase laughed.
“It’s not funny,” I said. “I’m trying to fit in.”
He touched my cheek. How could his bare hand be warm?
“You fit in just fine,” he said.
I stomped my feet on the porch. Another attempt at generating warmth.
“You know, you need a swing on this porch,” he said.
“Great idea. I’ll let Mom know.”
Maybe I should dart inside right now and tell her.
I heard sleigh bells chiming and felt a little thrill. Even though there was the potential for disaster—or at the very least, awkwardness—I was really excited and looking forward to the hayride and spending time with Chase.
“There they are,” he said, taking my arm and helping me down the steps.
Two wagons on runners, pulled by what looked to be Clydesdales, came to a stop in front of the inn. Lots of hay was visible and I clearly saw everyone sitting there because there was nothing obstructing my view.
“I thought wagons had sides,” I said.
“Oh, sure, wagons do,” Chase said. “These are technically called drays.”
“Oh.”
I almost followed that comment with another “oh” when I saw Josh and Nathalie on the dray Chase was walking toward. Corey and Adam, as well as Shanna and Rand, were also there. I recognized the man driving the first team. He was the one who’d delivered our boxes of stuff. I figured he was Shanna’s dad.
As we neared, Josh scooted to the side, leaned over, and offered his hand. I thought about asking Chase if the other dray had room, but since he’d already put his hands on my waist to boost me up, I just put my hand in Josh’s. He pulled, Chase lifted, and before I knew it, I was rolling in the hay, so to speak.
Josh gave Chase his hand, and Chase vaulted onto the wagon. He settled down beside me.
I smiled at Nathalie. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
“I wouldn’t miss the hayride.” She snuggled up against Josh, her back to his chest. He put his arms around her. “My boyfriend will keep me nice and warm.”
With a lurch, the wagon started to glide forward. I released a little unexpected squeal as I lost my balance. Chase chuckled, helping me to right myself and managing to maneuver so my back was to his chest and he was supporting me.
“I can’t believe you don’t do hayrides in Texas,” he said.
I held up my hands and twisted around to look at him. “Again, city girl.”
“I’m glad you got here in time for the hayride,” Shanna said. “It’s one of my favorite things to do in the winter.”
“Is that your dad driving?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“He delivered our stuff,” I said, just to have something to say.
Shanna laughed. “He does a lot of that.” She pointed behind us. “That’s my brother, Tom, driving that wagon.”
Then she snuggled against Rand, and I figured that meant an end to the conversation.
I glanced back over at Nathalie. Her eyes were closed and her head was nestled against Josh’s shoulder. I tried not to think about how nice that might feel.
I shifted my gaze a little and it clashed with Josh’s. He was watching me, a little too intently.
I turned my attention to the night sky. I became very much aware of the straw poking into my backside. Romance at its finest? Hardly.
I had a feeling this was going to be the longest night of my life.
We left the lights of town behind and turned onto a path that I guess was a normal paved road in the summer. It rose up slightly and wound around. Tonight the path was lit by a full moon, and I was amazed by how much light it provided. Back home, the city lights washed moonlight out, but here, it was actually pretty amazing.
I don’t know how long we traveled before we turned onto another path. My backside was numb from the cold and I wasn’t feeling the straw anymore. Sometime during the ride, Chase had stuck his hands in my jacket pockets—the macho guy way of keeping hands warm, I guess.
Up ahead, I spotted the welcoming lights of a house.
“That’s Shanna’s house,” Josh said to me, maybe realizing that I had no idea where we were.
“You kids ready to go in and warm up for a while?” Shanna’s dad called back to us.
I didn’t know if it would be cool to yell “Yes!” so I kept quiet. But everyone else responded with various affirmatives, none nearly as enthusiastic as mine would have been.
When the wagon came to a stop, Chase pushed me forward a little bit, needing room so he could get off the wagon.
Turning, I watched as he helped Nathalie down.
Huh? Wasn’t that interesting?
Josh jumped off the wagon and reached for me.
“I’ve got her,” Chase said, shoving Josh to the side.
“Okay,” Josh said, but he was looking at me as he said it. Then he turned, took Nathalie’s hand, and headed toward the house.
“Hope you’re okay with me helping Nathalie first,” Chase said, once he helped me down. “She was ready.”
“No problem. It’s taking me a while to thaw out and move.”
Chase took my hand. “We’ll get you some cider. You’ll be warm in no time.”
Although we were the last ones inside, plenty of cider was still available. I wasn’t sure if it was really apple cider, because it tasted like mint. Really yummy. I nibbled on a warm brownie, fresh from the oven. No wonder Shanna’s family had this routine down to an art; they did it every year.
I turned to say something to Chase. He was looking toward the corner of the kitchen where Nathalie and Josh were talking. He must have felt my gaze on him, because he turned his attention to me, and his cheeks were red. Was he embarrassed that I caught him looking at her?
“I’m going to get some more cider. You want some?” he asked.
“No, I’m good.”
“The den is through there,” he said, pointing toward a hallway. “They have a huge fireplace if you want to get warm.”
“And if I don’t want to get warm, they don’t have a huge fireplace?”
He grinned. “Either way they have a huge fireplace. Everyone warms up in there before we hop back on the hay. Why don’t you go save us a spot?”
“Okay.”
I found the den with no problem. Corey and Adam were sitting together on an ottoman. Not only was the fireplace huge but so was the room. I wandered along the back wall, which was mostly covered with shelves, and looked at all the carousel horse figurines displayed.
“Shanna’s mom has a thing for carousels,” Josh said quietly beside me.
I hadn’t heard him come into the room. I glanced over at him. “I can’t blame her. There’s something appealing about them.”
“Are you having fun?”
“Oh, yeah. I especially like the moments when I’m warm.”
“I’d keep you warm if I could.”
“I think you have someone else to keep warm,” I reminded him. “I’m glad she was able to make it.”
“Yeah, me too. I would have hated missing the hay ride.”
“So you would have missed it if she couldn’t come?”
He studied me for a long moment. “Yeah. It would have been…best, probably. Not to come if she couldn’t.”
“You’re a good boyfriend.”
He shrugged. “So how do you like Chase?”
“He’s nice. A lot of fun.
” And I think he might like your girlfriend.
“How are your legs?”
I gave him an odd look. “Long? Warm?”
“Sore?”
I laughed lightly. “Sorry. I didn’t know what you were asking, but yes, no, they’re feeling a lot better. The salve helped. Although I’ll probably be stiff again in the morning.”
“Probably.” He creased his brow. “Did you bring a cap?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t figure islanders would be wearing them.”
“You thought wrong.” He held out a black knitted hat. “You’ll want this later.”
I started to reach for it. Then stopped. “I really shouldn’t.”
“It doesn’t mean anything. I’m just more used to the cold than you are.”
“What about Nathalie?”
“She brought something.”
And she has you.
I took the cap and stuffed it into my coat pocket, looking around, making sure no one noticed, like we were exchanging something illegal. “Thanks.”
“Well.” He took a step back. “I’m glad you came on the hayride.”
“Me too.”
He turned just as Nathalie came into the room, Chase right behind her. Maybe I should have felt jealous. But I didn’t. I didn’t even wonder what they were doing together.
But when Nathalie snuggled up against Josh, that’s when I began to wish I hadn’t come.
We stopped at two more houses. Everyone had their own apple cider recipe and favorite snack to offer. Josh seemed to make a point of avoiding me. I was glad. I’d never had what my dad called a poker face, and I worried that my expression would reveal how much I liked him, which wasn’t fair to Nathalie or Chase…or Josh.
It was a little strange how many times I discovered Chase looking at Nathalie. He always gave me an embarrassed grin and asked some question about Texas. It seemed to be the only thing we had to discuss.
After we visited the last house—and I knew it was the last house because we started traveling back the way we’d come—everyone was snuggled deeper in the straw. I’d pulled Josh’s cap down over my head and ears long before we headed home. I wasn’t an islander yet, and I got tired of pretending. Okay, I got too cold to pretend.