Chapter 7
The seven of us, Tommo, Samsa, Matt, Jack, Haley, Simone and I, met outside the uni bar and payed our $5 student concession fee to get in. Considering the amount of time Micky spent practising at our flat I felt kind of cheated to have to pay to see him play, but then I reminded myself that it wasn't him that I was there to see.
We arrived about half an hour before The Wheelwrights were supposed to play their set so we commandeered a large table up the back and based camp. It felt like most of the uni had turned up, but that was probably because the bar was quite a small one and everybody had to press up against everyone else to make room. Despite the crowd, people frequently battled their way over to say hello to us and I would be lying if I said it wasn't a good feeling seeing how well liked our little group was. When I noticed that hardly anyone said hi to Haley, however, my enjoyment was somewhat tempered. I would have thought that she had a circle of similarly obnoxious friends who would come over to squeal with her, but she seemed almost lonely even surrounded by so many people.
A few seconds later, my sympathetic feelings towards Haley vanished as Jack, clearly noticing her lack of visitors as well, turned his attention to her. Her eyes lit up and she shifted closer to him, leaning her head close to his in the pretence of listening to what he was saying. Egh, she was such a fake!
Simone noticed the direction of my glare and elbowed me. "Don't look so worried," she shouted above all the noise. "I bet he can see right through her."
Annoyed at having been caught staring at Jack - how well did that bode for the future? - I tried my most nonchalant expression. "Worried?" I shouted back. "Who's worried?"
She lifted her eyebrows pointedly, but I was saved her scathing reply as The Wheelwrights came on stage.
"How you all doin'?" Micky yelled, taking up his position at the front of the stage, his guitar hanging at his hip looking for all the world like it was an extension of his body. The crowd screamed its response and Micky struck the first chord.
They were not bad at all. In fact they were pretty amazing.
Adam played bass guitar, but, although I tried to focus on him as he was the one I had come to see, it was their front man prancing all over the stage that more often than not caught my eye. For all the hatred I felt towards Micky, I couldn't deny that, on stage, he was a hell of a charismatic guy. The crowd went nuts for him and even I found myself shouting approval as he went into an all out rock and roll guitar solo, complete with jumps and writhing on the floor. We were all on our feet jumping with him and feeling the bass thumping in our ribcages. It was an awesome gig.
When The Wheelwrights finished their prescribed set everyone screamed for an encore and Micky came back on stage alone, an acoustic guitar in his hand. A bar stool was passed up and he settled himself down on it before angling a microphone to catch the soft notes the guitar rendered. A hush settled over the bar as the first few distinctive notes of a ballad wavered out.
I loved the song and found myself subconsciously swaying to it, forgetting for the moment that the beautiful music was being played by misogynist Micky.
Micky had just started singing in his smooth, deep voice when I became aware of someone standing beside me. I mean obviously there were people standing very close to me on all sides as I was in a crowd, but there was something different about this presence, it was solid, but not intimidating, and very, very familiar.
I twisted my neck round to look up at Jack, and his light blue eyes, their startling colour visible even in the gloom of the bar, caught my gaze and held it steadily. Then, under the cover of the hoards of people crowding in around us, he put his arm around my waist and rested his hand on my far hip.
For the briefest of moments I tensed, old habits die hard after all, but then, as the warmth from his hand seeped through my jeans and caressed my skin, I told myself to relax. There was no pressure inherent in his touch, after all, it was the kind of half-hug friends would share, and yet...I knew it wasn’t just a friend thing. It was a guy’s touch Jack was teaching me about; the touch that meant more, forewarned more.
After a couple of minutes, once the first startle of his approach had passed, I began to appreciate the feeling Jack's arm was giving me. I had thought his handshake was good, but the feeling of being sort of cradled against him was a million times more impressive.
It was as if my body had sent all the nerve endings racing along to where his arm and hand touched me and they were all jumping up and down in interest at this new sensation. Almost without noticing I was doing it, I leant in against Jack’s side, only just managing to stop myself resting my head against his shoulder as, crowd or no, people were going to notice that.
Well that was a turn up for the books! One moment I'm freaked out the next I'm stopping myself going further? This added up to be more progress on the touchy, feely front in a few moments than I’d achieved since I was fourteen! Feeling immensely satisfied with my apparent progress I zoned out everything going on around me and immersed myself totally in the music and being nestled against Jack. Which was why I nearly jumped out of my skin as his weight shifted and he leant down to talk to me.
"Are you OK?" He asked. "Do the sheep need to be called in?"
For a moment I had no idea what he was talking about, but then I realised he was asking if he was moving too fast. Ha! I shook my head no and placed my hand over his, keeping it at my hip in answer as moving to whisper back into his ear might dislodge him and that was the last thing I wanted to happen.
I will never complain about crowds again. With so many people our closeness did not look at all strange and the dark, along with further disguising our contact, made the whole thing feel intimate, somehow. But all good things must come to an end and, as Micky strummed out the last few chords, Jack gave my waist a quick squeeze then, reluctantly I felt, pulled away. I stumbled a little as he moved away from me and I was sorely tempted to grab his arm and pull him back to me. This wasn’t an option, however, the lights were coming up and people were beginning to blink and look round for their mates. Talk about reality kicking you in the nuts.
"Talia, weren't they awesome!" I turned and saw Simone bounce over to my side, her ringlets swinging and her eyes shining. She'd always been a sucker for a good gig.
"Yeah, they were," I said, trying to collect my thoughts together and appear natural. "For all Micky's a knob I have to admit the boy can play."
Simone grinned and nodded, then set off towards the table we had previously occupied, "Come on," she called over her shoulder as she went, "I'm buggered, I need to sit down."
"Right behind you," I promised, but instead of following her, I looked back at Jack who was standing with his hands in his pockets watching me. I had no idea what to say to him. Even though I'd never experienced one, the moment seemed like a morning after a one night stand. We had been so tucked into each other a few moments ago that now it felt like there was really nothing to say. Except that something needed to be said, otherwise we would stand there like idiots forever.
"You OK?" Jack asked, breaking the silence between us.
I nodded and opened my mouth to explain that I’d had an incredible moment of overcoming my phobia and that it was all thanks to him, but, at that moment, Micky stepped between us, deliberately cutting me out.
"Come on then, Hammer, tell me I rocked your world," he demanded and the moment was completely ruined.
I stalked back to the table and threw myself down beside Simone who was happily chatting away to Samsa. I leant back in my chair and scanned the bar, noting that it had emptied somewhat since the end of the set. The remaining crowd was settling in now for some serious Saturday night drinking and socialising and their voices merged into one loud rumble.
"Hey, Talia, you came!"
"Holy-!" I exclaimed, putting a hand over my wildly beating heart as a voice bellowed in my ear. Looking up, I saw that it was Adam who had so thoroughly startled to me and I gestured with my free hand for him to take the spare seat ne
xt to me. "You scared the absolute beejeebers out of me!"
"Sorry," He apologised easily, settling himself down next to me. "How did you like the gig?"
I smiled warmly and turned to face him more fully. "You were excellent. You're like a different band from the one I saw a while ago."
"Yeah?” He asked eagerly. “We've been hell bent on practising so it’s awesome to think it’s paying off.”
And, as we’d done the day before, we slipped easily into a flowing, natural conversation. Adam was really good fun to talk to, one of those easy going people where you never have to search for something to say or worry that they might take offence at an offhand comment. It felt like we were already good friends. And so, as good friends can do, we zoned out the people around us and talked for the next hour or so until my throat felt hoarse from having to talk loudly over all the noise.
After a particularly enthusiastic debate over fruit versus vegetables (including the immortal line 'a celery stick could kick an orange's arse any day of the week') we lapsed into a lull, whereupon I took stock of where the rest of my group had got to. Simone and Samsa were dancing crazily up near the stage where a D.J. had set up, Jack, Matt and Tommo were leaning against the bar each with a bottle of beer in their hands, and Micky was talking to Haley near the exit. Obviously during our conversation everybody had left the table and I hadn't even noticed.
"Hey, do you want to dance?" Adam asked suddenly, leaning forward so I would be able to hear him.
"Oh!" Without meaning to, my eyes flickered straight over to Jack. He, however, was deep in conversation with Matt and didn't notice. "Um, OK, sure," I said hesitantly, getting to my feet and threading my way through the crowd to a clear space.
I was an alright dancer, not fantastic or anything, but I could move in time with the beat and didn't make a complete tool of myself which is always good. I didn't dance too close to Adam and he didn't make any attempts to draw me nearer to him so I found myself having a really good time.
We'd been dancing for perhaps about three quarters of an hour when, during a slower bit of the music, Adam leant in and asked, "Do you ever get the feeling you're being watched?"
I looked at him in confusion then followed his gaze over to the bar where Simone, Tommo, Samsa, Matt, Jack, Micky and Haley were all looking over. They had obviously just been talking about us and the expressions on their faces told me that they knew they'd been caught in the act.
I rolled my eyes at them then turned back to face Adam. "Ignore them," I told him, making him laugh and say,
“I’ll give it a go.”
And here was a shining example of the flipside of being such a tight-knit group of mates. We all knew everyone else's business and, as wonderful as that could sometimes be, there were times when it felt claustrophobic. My shoulders started to feel heavy, but it wasn't just because I was being watched dancing with Adam, it was because I’d realised how impossible it was going to be keeping Jack’s and my arrangement a secret.
We continued dancing for another half hour or so, but it wasn't as much fun as before and I begged exhaustion to head back to the table.
"Hey," Adam said suddenly as we made our way across the room. "What are you doing next Friday night? 'Cos the cinema near here is doing a Kung Fu marathon."
"Really?" I asked, perking up immediately. "New ones or old ones."
"Old I think." He grinned at my excited response. "So what do you say? D’you wanna go?"
"Yeah, absolutely! Oh, actually, hang on." Jack's rules came flooding back and I belatedly realised I might be contravening the 'no dating' one. "You mean just as friends, yeah?" I asked cautiously and saw his expression falter slightly.
"Well, taking my cues from what you just said, I would have to say that I definitely mean just as friends," he grinned, recovering quickly and holding out a seat for me.
"It’s just that I broke up with my boyfriend really recently,” I said quickly, not wanting things to get awkward, “like Wednesday recently, and cheesy as it sounds, I'm not going to date for a while."
"Hey, that's cool," Adam said reassuringly. "But we can be friends, right?"
"Of course," I said, relieved he was being so cool about it.
"Great!” It looked like he was going to say something else, but then something caught his attention across the bar and he grimaced. "Gotta go, it looks like Micky wants to give us a critique on tonight's performance."
I looked over and saw that Micky was indeed gesturing at Adam to go over and join him and the rest of the band.
"Wow, I bet that'll be fun," I said sarcastically, and his lips spread into yet another wide smile.
"Yeah, I'm looking forward to pointing out that he mixed up the verses in the first song. I may not have a head tomorrow, but it’ll be worth it. See you." He fleetingly pressed a hand on my shoulder and then was gone.
He'd barely moved out of earshot before Simone flew into the vacant seat beside me and regarded me solemnly with her big grey eyes. "That was very nicely done," she congratulated me after a moment. "Full marks."
I sighed and crossed my arms in annoyance, "I suppose it would be too much to ask that I could have a conversation without everyone listening in," I said crankily. "It was embarrassing earlier with all of you watching us."
Simone shrugged unapologetically. "You were dancing with a guy you only met yesterday, it was weird is all," she explained. "I was going to ask if there was anything going on, but, having just overheard you turn him down, I guess I'm barking up the wrong tree. Any particular reason you limited yourself to just being friends?"
"Considering you were listening in so closely you should already know why I don't want to date him," I said brusquely. "I broke up with my boyfriend of six months on Wednesday, Simone, today is only Saturday." I didn't like only telling the partial truth to my best friend, but I’d promised Jack we’d keep our arrangement quiet, so it couldn't be helped.
"Fine," Simone smiled, letting it go. "God, wasn’t tonight great?" And off she went in a long tangent about how good The Wheelwrights had been and how much fun she’d had dancing with Sam. I half listened to her, but the truth was that I was getting tired. Looking at my watch I saw that it had gone half 1 and I was more than ready for bed.
"Hey girls," a voice said from behind me and I twisted around to see Jack bending down to talk to us. "You about ready to go home?"
Right on cue! "More than ready," I said with a sigh and Simone nodded her agreement.
"Yeah, I'm meeting Samsa early tomorrow for a run so I should be getting back."
Sam and Simone, really? I was too tired to latch onto this interesting little titbit, but I filed it away for future perusal.
"OK then, let's go, Haley's already waiting for us with the others." Jack gestured towards the door where Tommo, Samsa, Matt and a whole bunch of other guys were loitering.
With great force of will I kept back my shudder of annoyance at Haley's continual acceptance by the boys who I considered 'mine' and instead asked, "Is Matt coming back with us?" I didn’t think for a moment, as I gathered up my bag and coat, that the answer would be yes. My brother wasn’t the type to leave at half 1, he was more of the stagger in at 6 the next day kind of person.
Sure enough, Jack shook his head. "Nah, he met up with some guys from sports science and I reckon they're going to pull an all nighter."
We headed across the room saying goodbye to various people as we did so. I waved at Adam who winked in return then turned back to his conversation with Micky.
Haley separated herself from the others as we neared them and, smiling prettily, placed a hand lightly on Jack's arm. This patently pathetic move made me clench my teeth so that Simone laughed softly and murmured, “Easy, tiger.”
I switched my attention to Matt and gave him a light punch on the arm. "I'll see you later. Don't die of alcohol poisoning."
"I'll do my best," he said in the least reassuring way possible. "Jack's walking you back is he?"
I nodde
d. "His week, is it?" I asked sarcastically. From the day I had started at uni, Matt and Jack had formed a sort of babysitting rotation for me whenever we went out anywhere within walking distance of our flat. "Nothing like taking a trip back in time and seeing what it was like in the 1800's," I sighed as I shrugged my coat on in preparation for the cool, August air outside.
"Oh you think it's for your protection, do you?" Matt asked, reaching up and fixing my collar which had become twisted. "Well you're wrong." He leant down so the others couldn’t hear him and added, "It's so you don't kill Haley on the way home. Now behave for Uncle Jack,” he said jovially as he gave me a nudge towards the door.
I stuck my finger up jovially in reply.
Jack, Haley and I walked Simone to her car and waved her off and then I turned to Jack.
"Right then," I said briskly. "Home, James, and don't spare the horses."
He sketched a quick bow. "As madam wishes."
Haley looked between us as if she wasn't quite sure what we were talking about and I found myself smiling at how little she obviously knew about Jack. Like, for example, that his real name, as in the one written on his birth certificate, is actually James, but that from pretty much birth onwards everyone has called him Jack.
Ha! I thought. Dance around in your frilly outfits and bat your eyelashes all you want, but we've a past that you can never get your hands on. I felt like doing a little dance and singing 'na na na na na', but held myself back with great strength of will.
Jack and I didn't talk much as we made our way back to the flat, but Haley kept up an almost constant stream of chatter. It sounded like she was nervous, but I can't imagine why she would be. I was sorely tempted a couple of times to tell her to just shut up, but that was being too rude, even for me, so I just kept my head down and plodded along the familiar paths home.
I almost jumped for joy when we finally reached the flats and walked Haley to her door on the second floor. She, however, seemed reluctant to say goodbye and stood, with her hand on the doorknob, waffling on for quite some time until I had to resort to yawning loudly.
Jack looked at me with an expression that told me he knew exactly what I was doing, but turned to Haley anyway and said that we'd better call it a night. She thanked him for walking her home, said goodnight and then, finally, went into her flat and closed the door.
"God, I thought she'd never stop," I exclaimed as we continued up the stairs to our floor. "We could have been there all night!"
Jack rolled his eyes and held the door open for me. "Calm down, Miss Melodrama," he said wearily. "I've said it before and I'll say it again, she's not that bad."
"Yeah? Well, it’s pretty clear you think so,” I said cattily. “Pretty attentive of her tonight, weren't you? Since when have you been her knight in shining armour?"
I was aware that I sounded jealous and petty, but was unable to stop myself. Jack had always been attentive to Haley, in fact he was attentive to everyone because he was a nice bloke, but tonight it had particularly bugged me.
Annoyed that what had started out as a good night had ended with me feeling bitchy and cranky, I started towards my bedroom fully intending to fall straight into bed and sleep off my bad mood. In a few quick strides, however, Jack was in front of me, blocking the way to my door.
"Tally," he said, but I stared down at the carpet and refused to be drawn in by him. "Tally," he said again, this time with a smile in his voice, "I'm not Haley's knight in shining armour." When I still continued to avoid his gaze he crooked a finger under my chin and gently turned my face up to him. "How could I be when I'm already fully booked looking after another damsel?" He took his finger away from my chin and tucked some of my hair behind my ear, his fingers brushing my cheek as he did so. For the briefest of moments I thought he might kiss me, but then he seemed to come back to himself and simply said, "Sleep well," as he pulled away.
I watched him go into his room, barely able to breathe, then staggered to my own and flopped down on the bed. Sleep well? Who was he kidding? It felt like every molecule I possessed was buzzing, I was practically shaking. And, on top of that, I was sure that the second I closed my eyes I was going to dive straight back into the dreams I had had the night before.
Sleep well, my arse. I was never going to be able to sleep well again.