Chapter Four
Ethan looked at JJ for long moments, then turned away to stare out the window again, one palm flat on the bench beside the sink, the other curled around the stainless steel edge. He didn’t say anything for the longest time, but JJ was used to Ethan’s way of mulling things over thoroughly in his mind before putting a plan into action.
It was one of the things she loved about him.
But staring at her scratch marks on his back, at the evidence of their passion, was not doing anything to stop her thinking about the big thing.
He turned back, his ass resting against the sink again. His eyes were so bleak she wished for a mad moment she did have a magic wand.
“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “All I know is I’m going to need you these next few months if Delia really does come home from Paris throwing her weight around.”
JJ knew for sure that Ethan Weston would get through this just fine without her, the same way he got through everything else—with dignity and honour. But it was like music to her ears to hear it. “You have Jarrod and Marcus,” she said, her practical side taking over. “And you can bet Lacey’s going to pitch a fit, for sure. Connie’s also not going to take it lying down.”
“Yeah, but you’re the one who’s going to keep me sane through it all.”
JJ cradled her mug. “And I still will.”
He shook his head. “It’s going to be awkward.”
“Yeah. It will. But we’ll get past it.” She smiled at him. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve forgotten about it already.”
“JJ.”
“Really.” She frowned and dropped her head to one side, looking at him through narrowed eyes. “Who are you and what are you doing in my kitchen?” Practically naked.
“JJ.”
“I think you should go before I call the cops. The chief and I go way back. He a real hard-ass. Takes the virtue of the women of Jumbuck Springs very seriously.”
Ethan gave her a ghost of a smile as his shoulders drooped a little. “You think we can do this?”
JJ nodded, determined to drag him the rest of the way now he was looking more convinced. She marched forward all business like—time to get him on his way. Get him moving.
Give him no time for second thoughts.
She pushed him aside with her hip as she reached the sink, emptying her coffee mug down the drain. “You better get going,” she said as she turned the tap on.
Heat radiated from his body, boiling the molecules in her blood, exciting them and her into a state of sexual agitation. If he didn’t move out of her orbit soon she was just going to kiss him again and that’d really screw things up.
He turned his head and he was so close, just a hair’s breadth between his arm and hers, and JJ had never been more tempted to throw caution to the wind.
Fortunately his next words were like a bucket of ice-cold water.
“I think you’re right,” he said, slowly as if he was still considering his words. “I think it is possible to move on and pretend it never happened. But only if it never happens again.” His gaze bored into hers with an intensity that stole her breath. “We need to keep that line firmly in its place. I think it’s the only way we’re going to get past this.”
JJ nodded. She knew that. She knew she was destined to pretend forever that Ethan hadn’t spent the night in her bed. Pretend he hadn’t sucked and licked and kissed her in places she’d only ever dreamed about. Pretend he hadn’t pounded into her with all the desperation of a man clinging to a life raft. Pretend he hadn’t brought a life-long fantasy to reality.
But nothing was going to stop her from cherishing that memory forever. He may have come around to her way of thinking, may be on board with the forgetting-it-ever-happened strategy, but he couldn’t take the memory from her. No-one could. And she would hug it to her forever.
“I know that,” she said, swallowing hard against a future where things would never be the same. A relationship that would probably always be a little bit different now. Strained for a while. Strange for a lot longer.
For a mad second she wanted to fling her arms around him and give him an alternative future where they didn’t have to pretend. Where they could be together.
Thankfully a knock at her door stopped her from doing something really foolish.
Ethan frowned, pushing off the sink, his shoulders tense again as his muscles went into cop mode. “Who the hell is that at seven on Sunday morning?”
JJ didn’t know and she didn’t care. She was just damned grateful they’d chosen that moment to save her from herself. “There are two rooms in use, someone probably ran out of soap,” she said briskly as she dried her hands on her jeans. “You go and get dressed and I’ll find out.”
For a moment it looked like he was going to argue but he seemed to think better of it and JJ breathed a little easier as he headed for her room. She was more likely to remember the whole moving on thing with him fully clothed.
The knock came again and JJ walked towards it, her thoughts whirling around in her head like a giant willy-willy. She was so relieved and grateful for the normalcy of a visitor, it actually took her a moment when she opened the door to compute his identity.
And then she realised there were worse things than sleeping with Ethan Weston.
“What do you want?” she asked, her jaw setting rigid, her heart beating for all the wrong reasons now, as her ex-husband lounged against the door frame, one of his hey-baby smiles plastered on his face.
He’d aged in the decade or so since she’d last seen him. And not for the better. Not like Ethan had. He was still a physically imposing man, tall and broad, but his belly had a layer of fat, his face was rounder, grey shot his scraggly-ass beard.
Was it just the years or had his forehead always looked so pronounced?
She’d been so desperate for a distraction after Ethan had married Delia she’d grabbed the first available guy who’d made a play for her. Looking at Shane now she acknowledged it hadn’t been one of her smartest moves.
He pushed off the doorframe and JJ gripped the door handle harder, refusing to be intimidated as he loomed a little closer. “Hi, JJ. Long time no see.”
“Not long enough,” she said stiffly and pushed the door to close it in his face.
A meaty hand stopped its trajectory. “Please, JJ. I just want to talk. To say sorry for …”
“What?” she demanded. “For breaking my cheekbone? Fracturing my eye socket? And three of my ribs?”
JJ had fought long and hard to gain back the confidence that Shane had slowly stripped away from her in their year-long marriage. To grow strong again. To get back that toughness she’d always been known for. But listing her injuries took her back to a dark place and she once again felt vulnerable as only another woman could understand when faced with a large imposing male.
“I’m sorry about that, JJ. You know that. I told you a hundred times already.”
He could have told her a million and she’d still want him gone. She wished she was in the bar right now, on her home turf, with her shotgun within easy reach. But she was in her room, upstairs, on a sleepy Sunday morning.
Vulnerable if he decided to lunge.
Though thankfully, as Ethan’s voice drifted out from her room, not alone.
“Who is it?”
JJ didn’t take her eyes of her ex for a second. She saw the flicker of surprise in his gaze and something else. Something darker. Something ugly. “It’s Shane.”
Ethan yanked his shirt over his head and stalked out of the room, striding over to the doorway on a surge of adrenaline laced with boiling, hot fury. It had better bloody not be.
But there he was, bold as freaking brass.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” he growled as he reached JJ. He slung an arm over her shoulder, dragging her against him, pinning her back to his chest, his bent arm caging her close. Her hands came up to rest on his forearm. He could feel them trembling slightly and his other fis
t clenched.
Shane took a step back, his hands out in front of him in a placating gesture. “I don’t want any trouble here, Ethan,” he said.
“Well then turn your ass around and don’t come back. You’re not welcome in this town.”
“I just came to tell JJ that I’ve got a job on a shearing team that’s going to be around these parts for the next couple of months. I thought I owed her that courtesy. Don’t want to surprise her if she sees me around town or if I stop in for a beer.”
“No,” Ethan said keeping his voice low and dangerous, just like they’d taught him in the academy all those years ago. “You step foot in this pub again, I’ll arrest you.”
Shane bristled. “For what?”
Ethan’s jaw worked. He could feel the crash of JJ’s heart against his own ribs. “Disturbing my peace.”
Shane folded his arms. “You can’t arrest me for having a cold drink after a long hot day,” he said.
“You wanna bet? Or do you want to drink at Joe’s instead?”
For a moment Shane looked like he was going to argue, but he backed down in the face of Ethan’s grim countenance. Ethan knew that bullies only ever truly understood greater strength and, while Shane was big and broad, Ethan was bigger and broader.
And he had a gun and a badge and he wouldn’t hesitate to use either.
He sometimes still had nightmares about JJ’s face in hospital that night. The rage he’d felt then licked through his veins with renewed vigour.
“So you’re … together now?” Shane asked, watching JJ closely.
“Yes,” Ethan said, pulling JJ even closer. “We are.”
Shane narrowed his eyes and Ethan could tell JJ’s ex was trying to sniff out any bullshit. He could also see the man still held a torch for her. “We’re engaged,” Ethan added for good measure and was relieved that JJ had the good sense to keep her mouth shut and play along.
Shane looked from one to the other. His eyes coming to rest on JJ again and Ethan wanted to gouge the bastard’s eyes out, so he could never again taint her with his gaze.
“Congratulations,” he said to JJ, ignoring Ethan. “I really don’t want any trouble. I’m trying to start my life again. Put my past behind me.”
Ethan couldn’t give one fuck about Shane Gallagher’s sorry new life. As far as he was concerned, Shane’s past, and what he’d done to JJ, would always be front and centre.
“How convenient for you,” Ethan said.
“I was hoping we could be friends,” Shane continued his entreaty, his eyes appealing to JJ.
JJ backed up to him even closer at the suggestion, her heart hammering harder, but he was proud of the strength in her voice when she said, “That’s never going to happen.”
Shane looked taken aback at her unwavering rejection. “Okay … fair enough,” he said. “I deserve that. I just … be happy okay?” He looked at Ethan. “Make her happy.”
“Leave,” Ethan said, putting on his cop voice again. “That’ll make us both happy.”
Shane nodded. “I’m going. Goodbye, JJ.”
He waited for JJ to acknowledge him, but, when it became obvious that she wasn’t going to, Shane turned away a little awkwardly and headed for the stairs.
Ethan shut the door with his free hand and turned JJ in his arms with the other. Wordlessly, she sank right in there, her face pressed hard into the middle of his chest, as if she was trying to burrow herself inside.
Adrenaline buzzed and skittered through his system as the confrontation passed. On the job, adrenaline gave him an edge and he always welcomed it as it honed his senses and sharpened his perception. In his personal life, he could do without it.
Less than an hour ago he’d have been relieved if JJ had decided to leave town and now he didn’t want to let her out of his sight. Not with her creep ex lurking in the area.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his chin resting on the top of her head.
“Yep,” she said, but her voice shook and her death grip on his T-shirt was going to leave two wrinkle marks for sure.
“You heard him, he doesn’t want trouble,” he said, desperate to assure her.
Trouble was, Ethan didn’t believe it for a moment.
She pulled back and he looked down into her worried hazel eyes. “He was watching me last night,” she said.
Ethan frowned. “What?”
“Last night after I closed up I went out to the veranda for a while. It’s so nice out there late at night … really quiet … Anyway I heard this noise, like a soft shuffle of a shoe or something? I couldn’t see anything but I had the eeriest feeling I was being watched.”
Her knuckles pressed into his chest as her grip on his shirt continued. “It was him,” she said and he felt the small shudder rippling through her muscles. “I just know it.”
Ethan gathered her close again, as a hot fist rammed itself into his diaphragm. He knew it too. JJ wasn’t someone given to flights of fancy or melodrama—unlike Delia—and he absolutely trusted her instincts. If she felt she was being watched last night then he believed her and he had no doubt that her bastard ex fit the creepy stalker bill.
“I’m not going to let him hurt you again. Especially,” he smiled, “now we’re getting hitched.”
She shifted back slightly to look at him. “What on earth possessed you to say that, Ethan Weston?” she asked, shaking her head but smiling at him anyway.
Ethan smiled. Her face was so familiar to him. The way her loose curls just brushed her shoulders, her nice wide mouth, cheeks that puffed up like a chipmunk when she smiled. Why hadn’t he ever noticed how those features added up to a mighty attractive package? She wasn’t classically beautiful, or even pretty in the way Delia had always been, but there was something compelling about her face.
No freaking way was Shane getting a chance to mess it up again.
His raised his hand and trailed the back of it down one perfect cheek. “I needed him to know that there was no hope, no way, no chance of reconciliation. I needed him to know that he’s going to have to go through me to get to you.”
“Well, that’s very sweet,” she said flippantly, “but all he needs to do is ask around to know we’re not engaged.”
“We’ll have to be convincing then, won’t we?” he teased.
“Can we be convincing?” she asked. “After last night maybe that’s not such a good idea? We’re supposed to be moving on. Forgetting about what happened, remember?”
Ethan had to admit the timing couldn’t be worse, given what had just happened between them. Even less than an hour ago he would have considered it a Very. Bad. Idea. Never going to happen. But Shane’s arrival had thrown them a curve ball and nothing was more important than JJ’s safety.
If that meant a few little white lies and public displays of affection then so be it.
He also had to admit, after last night, he wouldn’t have to pretend sexual interest in his friend JJ whom he’d never thought of in that way at all.
No siree.
He doubted he’d ever be able to think about her in a platonic way again. He sure as hell was going to notice whether she was wearing a bra or not from now on!
Even holding her close like this, the smell of sex between them, his body was remembering vividly how well they’d fit together. He glanced at her mouth and was hit by the desire to prove to her just how convincing he could be.
“Well, now,” he said, his voice thick in his throat. “Let’s see.”
She didn’t move away as his gaze zeroed in on her mouth. In fact hers zeroed in on his too and he took that as an open invitation, his head slowly descending, his hand furrowing into her hair, his palm cradling her jaw.
Her mouth was soft, like he remembered, and when it opened on a small sigh a full blast of testosterone roared through his system, demanding he get nearer. His hands dropped to her shoulders and he walked her a pace backwards, pushing her against the door, bumping her head back as he kissed her deeper, harder, longer, his tongue
sweeping inside her mouth, tangling with hers.
His pulse pounded through his ears as his nose filled with her smell and his ears filled with the husky rasp of her moan. Her fingers fisted in his shirt again, twisting it hard, dragging him nearer, plastering herself to him.
She tasted so damn good. Coffee and sugar and hot, wild woman. The press of her breasts against his chest felt insanely good and he wanted to feel them so bad, to taste them, he couldn’t think of anything else. Before he knew it his hand was moving to the hem of her T-shirt, breaching it, travelling up underneath, gliding over waist and ribs, his fingers brushing the slight curve at the underside before his hand claimed the prize.
It was just supposed to be a kiss, but when she moaned again and arched her back, pushing herself into his palm, it felt like a whole hell of a lot more. He wanted more. He wanted to strip off her clothes, put his mouth to the hard nipple grating against his palm, slide his hand into the heat between her thighs.
He wanted to do her against the door, and thirty years of friendship be damned.
He brushed his thumb over the nipple and JJ gasped, breaking their kiss. Ethan sucked in a breath, his mind jumbled, his hand stilling. He pressed his forehead to hers, their breathing loud and tortured, thick with desire and thwarted intent.
What the hell was he doing? He was supposed to be proving a point. Not copping a feel. Since when had he ever lacked control? He’d spent the past fourteen years as a small-town cop, being measured and disciplined and in control.
He shut his eyes, withdrew his hand, took a step back. “What do you think?” he said, giving her a half-smile, determined to make light of it despite how sexy her mouth was with his kisses still glistening upon it. And his excited dick bitching at him about the sudden disconnect.
“Convincing enough?”
JJ looked dazed, her palms finding the door behind her and flattening against it as if she was going to fall down if she didn’t. She nodded. “Yeah …” She cleared her throat. “That’ll do it.”
“Good. Because I’m not going anywhere while that smarmy prick is hanging around. I’m moving in.”