“Is Dell okay with this? What the hell am I saying! Who cares what Dell has to say? Congratulations!” I offer Tess a huge strong hug. I can’t help but think she’s escaped some involuntary incarceration. “But I’m shocked you’d leave Pretty Girls, not to mention your boyfriend.”
Morgan glances up at me when I say it.
“Ex-boyfriend,” she corrects. “Besides, you were right, Al. I need to explore, see what’s out there, not chain myself to Dell and his sheltered club forever.” She rolls her eyes. “Dell says I’ll come back.”
“You will,” I say. “Only it’ll be to visit me.” I pull Tess in and take in the vanilla scent of her hair. Tess has worn the same fragrance since our childhood. The same perfume my mother wore.
“You’re thinking about her, aren’t you?” She says it sweetly, combing her fingers through my hair the same way my mother did.
I don’t say a word, just press my lips together and nod.
Tess always knows when I go there.
“How I wish she could be here to see Ruby,” I whisper.
“She’d be proud of you, Al. You know that, right?”
Tears spring to my eyes as Tess tightens her grip around my shoulders. “Hey.” Tess bounces back and claps her hands. “You gotta come visit me in New York!”
“If you insist,” I tease, averting my eyes as if this would be more than difficult.
“I’ll go with you.” Morgan dips his gaze toward me with his tragically sexy smile. “We should see a Broadway show when we go.” Morgan pulls me in by the waist, and I melt into him.
My entire person springs to life with hope. Maybe Morgan Jordan does want something more than a summer fling. Or maybe I’ve just become his go-to vacation girl.
Janice wrangles the crowd together for gifts. Ruby looks like she might blow if this doesn’t happen soon, while her sisters dance around her in a circle. They look like sugared fairies, and I try to etch the beauty of the moment into my mind. Ruby tears through gift after gift, amassing far too many toys and clothes to comprehend, and Janice is kind enough to save my gift for last. She motions me over to present it.
I pull Morgan aside and run my hand over his chest. “Would you mind rolling it out to her?” I ask. “I really want to see the look on her face.” I’ve waited all summer for this moment.
“You bet.” He dots my lips with a kiss.
Ruby jumps in my arms, and I hold her tight.
“What is it, Mama?” Her eyes grow large as tennis balls as Morgan wheels over her bicycle, complete with a wicker basket and a shiny, silver bell.
“A big-girl bike!” She jumps out of my arms and bolts to her new wheels, nearly taking Morgan out in the process. Ruby hops on, fearless, as her feet twirl over the pedals. Morgan holds on to the back and guides her down the concrete expanse until she flies like a speed demon down the makeshift basketball court.
“She’s doing it!” Janice hops by my side. “She’s going all by herself!”
Morgan watches as Ruby rides around in circles. He’s there waiting, ready to catch her if she falls, just like he did me.
“He’s a real good guy, Ally,” Janice whispers. “I’d say he’s a keeper.”
“Yeah, I know.”
I just can’t figure out how to keep him.
Morgan
The week glides by like a sailboat cutting through the sea, the wind of time propelling it along at unnatural speeds. It’s time to pack up my suitcase and not one ounce of me is willing to do it.
Wednesday, Cruise offers to ride shotgun while I drive down to Garrison to speak with the coach. It’s the last party trick I can think of to let me blow off Oregon once and for all. I’m set to leave tomorrow, so I’m not above falling to my knees and begging for a batboy position.
School starts next week both here and back home. It’s like someone hit the fast-forward button on August and forgot to let go. Summer in Carrington filled me with a world I didn’t know was possible, one in which something as intangible as love could actually be felt, touched, held—and in my case, love came in the form of a sweet girl named Ally. Just the thought of heading back to Oregon fills me with dread. My life back there had become nothing more than an empty shell. Having a prime baseball scholarship once meant I had the world by the tail, and now a light’s been cast over it, exposing it for what it’s been all along—nothing without someone to share it with. Not even something as rewarding as baseball could hold up to what I had going with Ally—still have, and hopefully always will.
“What happens if you don’t get it?” Cruise asks as we cross the lawn toward the athletics department.
“Gee—glad I brought you along, sunshine.” I shoot him a look. “I don’t know what the fuck happens if I don’t get it.” It comes out far more maudlin and less pissed than I was hoping for. “I haven’t gotten that far yet. What about you? Kendall mentioned something about a failed attempt at getting your doctorate. What’s plan B?”
“I’m living plan B. And the B stands for bed-and-breakfast.” He lets out a curt breath. “Besides, I got kicked out of the program. I didn’t fail.” He does a double take at someone at the top of the stairs. “That happened.”
I glance over and lo and fucking behold if it isn’t Satan in female form: Blair.
Cruise lets out a hard sigh. “She reported some questionable behavior and happened to document it in the process. Case closed.”
“Got it.” I can tell by the look in his eye there’s more to the story. “Did that questionable behavior happen to involve my sister?” Not that I need the dirty details, and I do believe they’re dirty. The words questionable behavior are rife with sexual implications.
“I’ll take the fifth.”
There you go.
Blair scuttles over as fast as her high heels will allow, cutting us off just as we’re about to head into the athletics building.
“Hello, Morgan.” She gives a wide sniveling grin. “Rumor has it you’ll be staying around.” She disregards Cruise entirely and runs her hand over my chest uninvited.
“Maybe, maybe not. Either way, it’s none of your business.” I take the next step toward the building and pause. “And by the way, I didn’t appreciate you lying to Ally and making it sound like we knocked boots over the poker table.”
Cruise’s eyes expand like Ping-Pong balls.
“And,” I continue, “I don’t know what sources you used to dig crap up on Ally but the only one that came out smelling like a sack of lying shit was you.”
Her chest expands, her tight lips press in until they disappear, and for a second I’m positive she’s going to break down and cry.
Crap. I’ve done a lot of shitty things but telling off a girl, well, this is a first.
My shoulders sag because I know what’s coming. “Look,” I whisper, “I’m sorry things aren’t working out the way you want, but you can’t keep running around trying to take people down because they don’t want to have a relationship with you. I’m sure there are plenty of guys out there who would, but you just keep going after the ones that are taken.”
“For the record”—she takes a bold step forward, seething in my direction—“you didn’t seem to mind me too much when you came into town.”
“That’s because I didn’t know any better.” I say it dry, not meaning to slit her throat with my harsh words, but according to the look on her face I did just that. “Everybody makes mistakes, Blair. Why don’t you accept the fact that you have too? Move on. Head for greener pastures, where you’re wanted, and stop trying to crucify people who’ve found happiness elsewhere.”
Blair remains stoic, stiff as a statue as Cruise and I brush past her.
“Well done,” Cruise says as we head up the stairs. “It’s too bad it fell on deaf ears. Blair could have really learned something today if she was a decent person. That girl is hell on wheels.
You just lit a very short fuse, my friend. If I were you, I’d look out for the boom.”
We enter the cool of the building and meander all the way down to Coach Wexler’s office only to find it dark with no sign of life, for sure no sign of my scholarship.
“And there’s my luck for you.” I blow out a breath of frustration. “I guess I’m out of here tomorrow as planned.”
“Is that what you want?”
“No, but I’m not sure if I have the balls to give up my baseball scholarship.”
“Maybe it’s time to think about growing a bigger pair.” He lets out a sigh as if I hit a wall.
Why does it feel like there’s no hope of staying? I’m pretty sure Ally wouldn’t want me hanging around while both undereducated and underemployed. Baseball’s always been the out—the safeguard for my future, and now everything seems up in the air.
“Dude, you can visit.” He slaps me on the back as we head back outside. “That’s what long weekends and even longer plane rides are for. Plus, there’s always next summer.”
“Next summer.” I shake my head at the idea. It feels like another lifetime away. “What would you do if you were me?” I’m not too sure Cruise gets the fact I’ve got a whole lifetime of baseball riding on the tail of this decision.
“I’d probably drop everything and move, but I’m stupid that way. Besides, Ally knows how much baseball means to you. She wouldn’t want you to do that.”
I give a bleak smile as we head back out into the haze of late afternoon.
Cruise would drop everything and move.
I nod at the idea. I just might be stupid like that too.
My phone vibrates, and I yank it out of my jeans. It’s a text from a blocked number.
RIP Rock Bottom.
A dry laugh rumbles from my chest. It’s probably Cal pushing me to clear my shit out of his place. He has the gift of subtlety.
“Would you mind dropping me off at the gym?”
“Sure, I was just heading there myself. Did Kendall ever ask you to be a part of the wedding?”
“Nope.” Great. I have a feeling we’re about to elevate our bromance to a whole new level.
“Well, I’m asking. We’re keeping it simple, just a best man and best woman. I was thinking about Cal but I’d rather have family. What do you say? You think you’d want to stand up for me on my wedding day?”
“Yeah, man.” I give him a gentle sock to the arm. “I got your back. But if you hurt my sister I might have to break it.”
“Deal.” He socks me back with a little more meaning behind it. “You’ll be paired with Molly.”
“Perfect.” It comes out far more sarcastic than intended.
“Thanks for letting her down easy. I know she’s been after you all summer. Once she gets her teeth sunk in something, she doesn’t know how to let go. She can be a little demon.”
That not-so-veiled threat she delivered at the wedding runs through my mind.
“Yeah, a real demon. You’ve got more than a few of those running around Carrington.” Molly, Blair, Dell—just to name a few. How in the hell am I supposed to pack it up and go back west, knowing Ally is out here with a target on her back?
The Carrington Fitness Center is brimming with bodies I’ve seen night after night at the club. If anything, Cal owes me for augmenting his business both day and night.
Tonight is my last night at Rock Bottom.
I hightail it down to the basement and take in the expansive area. The hint of alcohol and cigarettes lingers in the air. The wind picks up and howls through the cavernous space like a damn ghost. And, come this time tomorrow that’s exactly what I’ll be leaving in my wake, my ghost.
Back door is open. We’ve never used that door. Cal probably forgot to shut it this morning.
I head in that direction and the memory of every good time I’ve had in this place comes back to me—girls laughing, dancing, the bastards running a game in the back under my nose—making love to Ally here as if we had the rest of our lives to do it. And now, I’ve got less than twenty-four hours to touch her, feel her, listen to her breathe. Speaking of which, it’s time to head home for a little while and do just that.
Home. A huff of laughter escapes me. Home is where Ally is, and that feels right in every way.
A low, guttural roar emits from behind like something heavy being dragged across the concrete.
I turn just as my feet are kicked out from beneath me, and I land hard on my side.
“Shit.” The air depresses from my lungs.
I glance up in time to see a lead pipe aiming straight for my head.
13
BURN FOR YOU
Ally
The sky above Carrington spins like a kaleidoscope in blues and swirls of early evening pink, as Kendall and I drive to Starbucks to meet with Lauren.
“It feels like enemy territory,” I whisper. I glance behind the counter. There’s no sign of my former supervisor, Gretchen, which I’m totally glad about. Today was pure torture, and I have no plans to add to it. Kendall and I melted away precious hours buying things for Morgan’s going-away party. One thing is for sure, Morgan’s going-away party is going to suck. Not having him around is going to suck even more.
“I can tell he’s on your mind.” Kendall pushes her cheek in and looks decidedly like him in the process. It’s not only going to be a living hell without him, it’s going to be impossible to be around Kendall. She’s basically him in female skin.
“He’s always on my mind,” I lament.
Penelope greets us with an uneasy smile.
“The usual?” She bites down on her lip as if a narcotics exchange were taking place.
“Yes, and one more for Lauren.” I shake my head. “You know, I can still come here. I’m not breaking the law.”
“I know.” She frowns as she scrawls our names on our respective cups. “Did you know Gretchen is gone? You should totally try and get your job back.”
“No way! What happened?”
“She went ballistic and one of the employees, who shall remain anonymous”—she blinks a smile—“filed a complaint. Melinda’s in charge now.”
“Really?” Melinda loves me. “I’ll totally talk to her.”
“She just got in. I’ll get her.” She speeds off as if that was the plan all along.
Lauren walks in just as our drinks are ready.
“Go ahead and take a seat,” I tell them. “I’ll be over in a minute.”
Melinda comes around the counter and offers a robust hug as if we hadn’t seen each other in decades. Melinda is older, and wiser, and has always reminded me a lot of Janice in her own maternal way. The blonde pixie cut sort of helps cement the connection.
“Al, this place isn’t the same without you.” She pulls back and examines me for a moment. “What’s going on? You look like your dog just died. You don’t have a dog, do you?”
“No, worse. I have a boyfriend and he’s leaving me.”
Her tiny mouth elongates in an O. “Guys are such jerks. Come back and work for me, and we’ll dish about this while slogging down lattes.”
“Work for you?” I wrap my arms around her neck. How I miss those apron-wearing, paycheck-riddled Starbucks days. “I accept, but do you think there’s any way you can up my hours?”
“Done.” She gives my hand a quick shake.
And with that, my dancer days are firmly behind me, even though they sort of were to begin with.
She hands me a smock and adds my name to the schedule as I make my way back to Kendall and Lauren.
“I start next week!”
“Cheers!” Lauren holds up her cup. “Everything’s falling back into place.”
I shrug.
Everything but Morgan.
“Ally”—Kendall clears her throat, her affect falling flat
a moment—“I hate to even bring it up, but after the wedding, when you apologized to my brother, I have to say I’m happy that you did it but I was also kind of hurt.”
“You were?” My heart sinks like a boulder. For some reason I thought she was going to say it was sweet or just, well, anything but hurt.
“I was.” She looks indignant that we’re not on the same page. “Morgan is kind, caring, and gorgeous. The thought of you thinking less of him because he doesn’t come from money, actually…” Her voice grows small before disintegrating to nothing. “It made me really sad.”
“I get it.” I swallow hard and nod.
“Ally had it rough growing up.” Lauren is swift to come to my defense.
“So did I,” Kendall counters. “Welcome to the club. But I would never judge anyone because of how much money he can pamper me with.”
“I’m so sorry, and I beg your forgiveness.” I blow a breath from my cheeks. “Okay, here it goes. When I was fifteen my mother died. We were always broke, always. Tess sort of took over and made me promise I would aim financially higher than our mother did when looking for a mate.” I pause. “My dad took off before I was nine.” I can feel a knot building in my throat but I press through it. “Anyway, Tess said it was just as easy to marry a rich man as it was a poor one, so of course, being young and rebellious, I refused to listen.”
Kendall blinks back in surprise.
“I fell in love with an idiot. And, honest to God, I fell harder because he gave new meaning to the word broke. He was everything Mama Tess warned me about and then some. Anyway, flash forward a year later, I was knocked up, and he was staring down the barrel of an attempted murder charge.”
She gasps.
“It gets worse,” I assure you. “The day he went out on the hit, I was supposed to go with him, but I ended up sitting on the bathroom floor puking my guts up for hours with morning sickness. It turns out Ruby was already saving me.” I pan the two of them with their matching wide-eyed stares, their mouths rooted to the floor as I pour my life story over the table easy as spilling coffee. “Rory, her biological father, and the people who had the misfortune to be in his presence—they all went to prison.” I pause to keep from crying. “They tried to cover for him and ended up doing time. That would have been me. I know for a fact I was dumb enough to tell a lie or two to try and help a friend out. Not that he was much of a friend. He was a constant nightmare in my life. Turns out he was cheating on me the entire time. Anyway, I did an about-face on my poverty dating stance ever since and didn’t give a slow blink to anyone Tess wouldn’t approve of. That’s actually why I ended up at Garrison. Tess swore I’d meet someone special there as opposed to the other schools I was looking into—and she was right. Because of you, Kendall, I did.”