Read Somersault Page 30


  “By unraveling the words of the visions I had in my trances, Guide created our theology. At the time of the Somersault when I said it was all nonsense, this is what I meant. The basic idea is that God is the totality of nature that created this world. Living a life of faith for us means being accurately and fully aware of this fact. When we achieve this, we realize that our awareness itself is, from the very start, made possible by God. What flows from God into us makes this awareness possible, making us able to verbalize it.

  “At the time of the Somersault, what was at work inside me when I said that our theology was nonsense was another theology just starting to sprout, a miserable theology that toyed with the first. Nature, which makes up the totality of this planet—the environment we humans live in, in other words—is steadily falling apart. We’ve gone beyond the point of no return. God as the totality of nature—including human beings—is decaying bit by bit. God is terminally ill.

  “Moreover, our awareness of God as being destroyed, of God with an incurable illness, is itself a part of God. Our crumbling God, our God who’s sick, is the one who makes us aware—just like a mother teaching her baby to speak: a mother who is falling apart, who’s dying from an incurable disease and is talking to her baby, who is fading away along with her, telling the baby what she knew from the start would happen.

  “What I’d like to say right now, based on my new theology at the time of the Somersault, is this: From our viewpoint, as infants whose fate is to die around the same time as our mother, we have the right to stand up to God and say that this wasn’t part of his plan! The dying mother hears the nonsensical words of the feverish baby, puts them in the proper context, and returns them to the baby’s mouth. It is in that mother–child dialogue that we should find mankind’s true repentance, because the ones who made this happen, who destroyed the natural world, who destroyed God and gave him an incurable disease, are none other than mankind itself. Isn’t this how the church of the one who will lead them to repentance, the church of the antichrist, should be constructed: through protesting to God?

  “Having lost Guide I’ve lost the way to interpret my visions, and now—dragging the Somersault along with me—here I stand. And I have decided to restart my movement focusing on leading people to this kind of repentance.

  “Just as there is no doubt that Christ’s humiliating death had meaning, there must be meaning in the desperate struggle of the antichrist who has stepped into hell. Otherwise, in that first consciousness of God as He created the world, why did He structure it so that there would appear so many antichrists at the end? God is the very one who, among all the things of creation, cannot be dismissed by a joke, the one existence that has absolutely no reason ever to turn a Somersault.”

  After finishing, Patron propped his hands on the podium, and let his shoulders relax and his head hang down as he looked absently around the audience. Dancer approached and spoke to him, but Patron shook his head and pointed listlessly with his left hand at Ogi. Ogi responded to this, and looked at Dancer, who nodded back at him. Ogi went over to stand between Dancer and Patron. Calling forth all his strength, Patron leaned forward and, looking straight ahead toward the assembled multitude, cried out, “Ladies and gentlemen, please pray for Guide. Hallelujah!”

  4

  Patron hung his large head down and began silently praying, and Dancer and Ogi closed their eyes and followed suit. The people in the audience shifted in their seats and began to pray silently; the sound of this mass movement of bodies was surprisingly peaceful. Kizu closed his eyes, too, and prayed. Filtered through an image of Guide in his mind, he prayed for Patron. Lord, please help this person. And give me strength.

  Just as at the farm along the Odakyu Line, Kizu found the lengthy prayer a little too much to take, and he opened his eyes to find Ikuo standing by the door Patron had used. Ikuo stood with legs apart as if he were about to start a fight, facing the quiet, praying crowd, all them with their eyes closed.

  If intruders had wanted to throw the service into chaos, it would have been easy and now would have been the time. So Ikuo had a very good reason for not joining them in prayer. Kizu could sense in Ikuo, standing there like a rock that could at any moment swing into action, something menacing that outweighed the usual affinity he felt for him.

  Please help this young man too, Kizu thought; I don’t really know much about who he is, but he’s in the grip of something that took hold of him when he was a child, that propels him forward—toward something. Kizu bowed his head and resumed his fervent prayers. I don’t know what Ikuo is so fired up about, he prayed, but if this is, as Patron said, a small part of Your consciousness of the world, isn’t that something to smile about? I pray that You help this young man so busily moving in that direction.

  Here I am calling out to You, Kizu prayed, yet truthfully I’m not sure about You. But through this young man I am leaving my whole life up to You. I know that I have, inside me, an incurable illness that’s fairly common for someone my age. But as long as this doesn’t come to the surface and steal away my ability to participate in the movement, please help me contribute in some fashion—for the sake of this young man who doesn’t care what means he uses to realize this strange idea of his. I suspect the physical love he allows me might just be one more means to an end for him, though even my suspicion is sweet.

  When Ogi announced the end of the silent prayer time, several hands shot up in the row of reporters—a show of hands from those who wanted to question Patron about his sermon. Patron was standing behind the podium, gathering himself together, and Dancer leaned toward him to ask for instructions. Patron gave a short reply. Reconfirming this, Dancer told Ogi what Patron had said.

  “This is the time when we’d like to hear your responses to the sermon,” Ogi said in a high voice, “and Patron said he would like to select the speakers. The person Patron has selected is Mrs. Shigeno, from the women’s group that during these ten years was independent of the church and organized a communal life of faith. Mrs. Shigeno is also the person who, on the death of her husband, contributed the large hospital her family ran, as well as the land, to the church, as a special contribution to commemorate the church’s becoming a religious corporation.

  “In the early period of the church, Guide was in charge of finances, and he was not inclined to accept contributions from followers who had renounced worldly possesions, which meant the church’s financial situation was unstable. It was Mrs. Shigeno who convinced Guide to accept these monetary donations, and it was through her that the church finally got on firm financial ground.”

  The old woman whom Kizu had noticed before, working despite her bad legs, was dressed the same as the other women around her, though her upper body, especially with the light gray scarf she had wrapped stylishly around her neck, took a backseat to none. Being careful of her legs, she rose serenely to her feet and took the wireless microphone that Dancer brought over. Her dignified face was full of tension, but the way she started her speech was appealing.

  “That introduction is a bit overblown, I’m afraid. My money was going to be taken away in taxes anyway, so it’s different from those followers who give up everything they own. Though I must admit that at my age having such a handsome young man say nice things about me isn’t a bad feeling at all!

  “I do have a few things I’d like to ask about the sermon, but I don’t want to take up too much valuable time so I’ll just touch on the one basic thing I’ve been thinking about these past ten years.

  “When Patron and Guide turned their Somersault, to use the names you use now, I had the feeling that I’d already experienced that before.

  “This happened at the time of our defeat in World War Two—ancient history, I’m afraid, for the young people here today. I was a student in a girls’ school in a provincial town and was mobilized to work in a parachute factory. The representatives from each class were called to the main office and told that work would stop a half hour before lunchtime that day. We were to a
ssemble with our teachers in the auditorium to listen to the radio.

  “What really shocked us students was that the Emperor spoke in an entirely human voice, just like ours. This was the era when pictures of the Emperor and Empress hung like pictures of God in the chapel next to the auditorium.

  “We learned about Patron and Guide’s Somersault, too, through reports in the media—which reminded me of hearing the Emperor on the radio so many years ago.

  “For us members of the church, Guide was like someone special selected from congregation. But Patron was different—he was directly connected to God. During the Somersault, though, here was Patron saying that all the mystical things he’d said and done were a joke. It was less like God’s son becoming human than finding out he was, from the beginning, just an ordinary person. Wasn’t this Patron’s equivalent of the Emperor’s speech, this time not on radio but on TV, with Patron adding all these comical gestures as he renounced his divinity?

  “Wanting to understand Patron’s Somersault, I took another look at the Emperor’s renunciation speech. After the Somersault the young people became quite emotional, but I was too old for that. And after giving it a lot of thought I arrived at the following conclusion.

  “The Emperor certainly did renounce his divinity then, but for the people of this country, in the hearts of its citizens, he didn’t change at all, did he? It’s a long story so I’ll leave out the details, but what I ended up thinking about Patron is something similar. He announced that he’s not directly connected with God, and there’s not much we can do about that. He’ll have to live the rest of his life cut off from God, but that doesn’t affect my faith in him, or the faith of my companions. We are still fully prepared to follow him.

  “It’s been years since I heard his sermons, but it brings back many memories. We heard rumors about how Patron and Guide were living, and it was painful to hear him speak today about the ten years he suffered in hell. How awful this must have been for Patron, alienated from God, shut up day after day with Guide, with whom he still had such strong emotional ties. I can only imagine how ghastly this must have been. And Guide, still fallen in hell, was murdered, unable ever again to help Patron with his visions. How dreadful!

  “When I think about it, isn’t Patron even now pushed into a corner, suffering every day? Though my image of him is still that of a younger man, I’m so happy he didn’t make some frivolous statement in today’s sermon about how he’d regained his connection with God. The ever-suffering Patron has returned to us and has put out the call for a new movement. After ten years of suffering, there is no better master of the church to welcome back. Patron is fine just the way he is.

  “I’ve been a little outspoken, I’m afraid, but the fact is, we were all shaken by the Somersault. The thought has even crossed my mind that losing Guide was retribution for our unfaithfulness. But Patron’s fall and suffering have made him the perfect leader of our new church—and we mustn’t lose him. I am overjoyed to follow Patron’s new movement.”

  A hand bell rang out. The packed auditorium absorbed some of the sound, but with the windows closed the sound fairly snapped in the air. The row of children in front all stood up and in loud spirited voices shouted out, “Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah!”

  Urged on by the hand bell, which led the chorus, the children vigorously—and without any sound of scraping chairs—sat back down as one. Leaning with his elbows on the podium and all his weight shifted onto it, Patron raised his head. His lusterless face was exhausted, his eyes teary. Even so, in a hoarse voice he spoke words of encouragement.

  “I would like to say this in response to what I’ve heard. When I fell into hell, my connection with God was severed. This was part of my hell because I did the Somersault. I’ve lost my connection with God and have nothing to do with visions I might see in trances anymore, but I still find myself burning with a desire to communicate the words from the other side. So where does that leave me? The reason I quoted from the first letter of John was to answer this: Dear children, this is the last hour; and as you have heard that the antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have come. This is how we know it is the last hour.

  “As a sign that the end time is here, antichrists are popping up all over the world, and I am one of them. I am going to be building a new church, and I want you to be clear on this: I’m starting this church as one antichrist among many. Why would you follow a leader, knowing full well he’s an antichrist? With the exception of the children, it’s because you, too, are all sinners. You’re the ones who’ve destroyed God as the totality of nature and given him an incurable disease. It is for your sake, you who have committed these sins, and for my sake, as one himself who has sinned, that Guide died in such an excruciating, horrible way.”

  Patron stopped speaking. Kizu picked up now on how Dancer thrust her right arm slightly forward and made a twisting motion with her wrist. At one end of the row of children one of the older girls, her head raised high to watch Dancer intently, got the signal and rang the hand bell, and the children all stood as one and shouted out, “Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah!”

  After they stopped and had returned to their seats, Patron’s voice continued over the faint reverberation. “This parade led by an antichrist will, in the end, reach the path to salvation—because this is a parade of the repentant, and even if I die a death befitting an antichrist, one more horrid even than Guide’s, your march must go on. In order that the harvest gained by Guide’s death will not be in vain, each one of us must play his part. Hallelujah!”

  The hand bell rang out once more, and the children’s voices filled the hall like a loud aria. With the exception of the reporters, all the participants joined in: “Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah!”

  In the midst of this chorus, Ogi and Dancer leaped forward to grab the lectern that, together with Patron’s upper body leaning so heavily against it, seemed on the verge of tipping over, helped turn him around, and hurried him off to the elevator. Reporters who pushed forward trying to question Patron were met by a line of security guards who formed a human wall.

  14: Why Patron? And Why Now?

  1

  An hour after the announcement that the memorial service was over, the partition between the dining hall and the lounge was back in place, the metal folding chairs piled up and stored away. Tables and chairs were returned to their original places in the lounge, where a press conference was to take place, the result of objections by representatives of the media. Some reporters were upset by Patron’s absence from the press conference, but most accepted that he was too exhausted to attend. A long table was set up beside the window that looked out on the lawn. The members of Patron’s newly announced church sat on one side, and the reporters sat across from them on the other.

  Ogi and Dancer appeared first. Ikuo was still directing the security staff even at this press conference and sat off to one side, leaving enough space beside him so he could move if he needed to. One more member of the security staff was there, a fortyish man named Koga who looked, to Ogi’s eyes, a bit of an anachronism with his rigid, possibly military-trained posture. Kizu had heard from Ikuo that this man, with his lively intelligent eyes, had been the only medical doctor at the Izu research center.

  Ms. Tachibana and her younger brother were there as well, as was Ms. Asuka, who, as she had done at the memorial service, stood behind the row of reporters to film the event with her handheld video camera. The group of women living communally had taken their chartered bus back home, having turned down Dancer’s request that one of them stay and take part.

  The press conference began with a question from the dark-skinned reporter for the national newspaper.

  “Last month at the press conference with Patron, quite frankly I felt it strange to see Dr. Koga there, since he was on the side that was at odds with Patron and Guide over the Somersault. Not that I’m saying he had anything to do with Guide’s death, mind you! At any rate, I’m happy he’s able to join this q
uestion-and-answer session. The first thing I’d like to ask is whether the people on the security staff today, in other words the former radical faction, have reached a reconciliation with Patron’s church?”

  Dr. Koga gazed at the questioner with a youthful expression that belied his years—though before he replied, his eyes clouded for just a moment and a solemn look came over his face.

  “You’ve called us the former radical faction, and it was you in the media who originally dubbed us the radical faction,” Dr. Koga said, in a sonorous voice. “As I wanted to say at the time, it wasn’t as if we just went off on our own and created a sect. We all worked at our research under Guide’s supervision at the facility provided for us. Before long the entire research center was unified as the cutting edge of Patron’s teachings. And our activities began to confirm this. You asked whether we’ve reconciled with Patron’s church. Well, right now I think of Patron and the church as separate entities. The headquarters of the church exists in Kansai, and this church is active as a religious corporation. If there’s going to be a reconciliation with the church, Patron should be the one seeking it.

  “Some of you just laughed at this, but I think that shows you don’t know much about the Somersault ten years ago. Patron and Guide did turn a Somersault. To say that the motivation for the Somersault lay in the activities of the so-called radical faction is a one-sided, solely political view. I reserve comment, but probably most people see it this way.

  “It was Patron and Guide who announced the Somersault and left the church. Those of us in the church had our beliefs ridiculed and were abandoned by the founder. But in the sermon that he gave to eulogize Guide today, Patron reached out to all believers. That’s how I see it, and frankly I was quite moved by his words.”