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Taking her hands, he guided her over to the bed. Laid her down on it and himself behind her. He opened his robe, draped it over her and pulled her into the warmth of his naked body. He crooked his knees up behind her. As he did, his still-firm cock nudged her buttocks. Following instinct, he gripped her thigh, a mute command. With a tiny sigh, she let her thighs loosen and he slid back into her, lodging himself deep, holding her there on him while she quaked at the intimacy of that connection, what it symbolized.
“I’m here,” he said softly. “I’m a part of you. Tell me, Ruby. Close your eyes and tell me. Tell both of us. ”
It took a long time, and he had to ask a couple more times, but he made sure he did it gently, a quiet sound in the dark room, like a request from her own mind.
“Eight months,” she whispered at last. He had his arm under her head, and her hand crept into his palm, her fingers tangling with his own. “She was eight months old. I could feel her, moving inside of me. Sometimes I think she laughed. I didn’t think a baby could laugh in the womb, but with every month, my joy having her there just grew. I don’t know if I made her laugh, or she gave me the joy, or if they fed each other, but it didn’t matter. I could feel her soul, Derek. She was inside of mine. Still is. ”
That uneasiness stirred again, but he left it alone for now. His fingers tightened on hers, a silent appeal to go on. He didn’t want to get too demanding about it, didn’t want to do anything to make her falter now that she’d begun. Though in truth there was a part of him that didn’t want to hear, didn’t want to know.
“Her energy sparked mine. All those years where the magic was a dull flicker, an unpredictable flash…. all those years of Mother telling me I wasn’t gifted with any power at all. Then, all of a sudden, I had this flood. It frightened me, the strength of it, because I could tell it wasn’t hers. She somehow brought mine to life. ”
The emotionally abused child became a mother, and the mother discovered a tiger in herself to protect her own child. It made perfect sense to Derek.
“But I screwed up. Because I was scared, I didn’t do anything with it. I kept a lid on it, didn’t tell anyone. I was too intimidated to understand how to manage it. ”
“Oh, Ruby. ”
“My mother told me, Derek. ” Ruby twisted her head to look up into his face, so close to her own. “She said if I ever discovered any natural ability, I needed to hide it, ignore it, keep it dormant. Otherwise it would come to tragedy. She said she saw it. ”
“You know why I didn’t like your mother, Ruby?” He managed it in measured tones, but he gave her the edge of his anger because it was on her behalf. “She was like a cop who abuses power. There’s nothing worse, when the person who’s all about protection, justice, someone you should be able to trust implicitly, betrays that trust and cloaks it behind the badge. ”
“But she knew things—”
“Yes, she was a great Seer. She was never wrong. And because she was never wrong, she lied to you, told you things that weren’t true because what she truly saw was that you would surpass her. ”
Ruby stared up at him. Derek touched her face, caressed the line of her cheek, still tracked with drying tears. “Your mother was a great Seer, but she was a competitive, selfish bitch who feared being eclipsed by her own daughter. Most parents, they hope their children will go further and be even more than they are, because that’s part of a parent’s love. She couldn’t get there. She was too afraid of being forgotten. ” He bared his teeth in a humorless smile. “It’s one of the reasons I do my best never to think of her. It’s my small spite, but there you are. I love you too much to ever think well of her. ”
She swallowed against his hold. “You aren’t going to love who I am after this. ”
He made a tiny movement that lodged him deeper inside her, made her bite her lip, her fingers tighten on his arm. “Ruby, if I was dead as a post and dismembered and ingested by a Grat demon, I would still love you. Keep talking. ”
The combination of devotion and impatient tone almost made her smile. He felt the tentative curve of her lips against his biceps as she turned her head away again. But he also felt her fear, and something far darker, ready to fight against whatever his reaction was. So he kept it easy, realizing he might be dealing with a wild animal. A wild animal with unpredictable powers.
“The magic was so powerful, I didn’t realize it would be noticed, even if I kept it locked up inside me. I was bringing home groceries one night…. ”
Cold gathered in his vitals, remembering Raina’s words. She was thrown on his windshield, with fireworks…. He tightened his arm around her, cupping her breast to stroke the outer curve, soothing and pleasuring, reminding her he was here.
“I was carrying two sacks of groceries. Fresh fruit. The market had mangoes, and I was excited about that. I was remembering when you and I had mangoes and wine, a picnic on the floor of my very first apartment. ”
“I remember. ” Though Mary had left her nothing, Ruby had been thrilled when she was making just enough on her Witches R Us salary to set herself up in her own place. He would have helped her out financially in a heartbeat, but he’d understood the significance of the moment for her, a value that couldn’t be measured in dollars.
“I wanted to re-create that night. I wasn’t drinking wine, of course, but I’d gotten one of those sparkling grape juices. I was going to spread a blanket out on the floor of my place, light candles, pretend you were there. ”
Ruby slid her other hand over his on her breast, gripped it. It pressed her nipple farther into his heated palm, increased the sensation of her bare body against his, the fact he was still inside her. He could tell she didn’t want to go forward with the memory, so instead she gave them both the gift of her imaginings that night. Before everything changed.
“I was so big then, but I knew you’d want to see me all naked. And I’d be reluctant about it, uncertain, and then you’d make me feel so beautiful, because you always do. And Derek, at that point, you’re just so…. I wanted you so badly. I was imagining you stroking my body, altered as it was, your hands between my legs. ”
She paused another moment, then continued. “I was walking along the sidewalk, having this great fantasy, mixing it with reality. Since you weren’t there, I’d be doing the stroking, but I’d close my eyes, pour the wine over my breasts, feel the tingling over my nipples…. Though I missed you so, in that moment, it was like I was completely alive. I knew you were coming back; it was just a matter of time. That’s what I kept telling myself. ”
Another swallow, and tears clogged her words. “I knew you were probably somewhere you couldn’t talk to me. You’d done that before, and I always tried not to worry, because even with bumps and bruises, you always came back to me. So I imagined your face when you saw me. I knew you’d be so happy. I could just see it. I’d set up a nursery, but I knew you’d want to help me decorate it even more when you got back. We’d put all these amazing things in it, color wheels and crystals, chimes like birdcalls…. Great big stuffed animals and blankets so soft Theo would tug them out of the crib and steal them. We’d curl up on them with her. Even though we’d never talked about having kids, I knew you’d be so happy about her. ”
She’d overcome herself, he could tell, her throat thick on those final words. He wasn’t sure he could have spoken louder than a husky whisper himself. So he spoke against her ear, giving her something back, something that might give her the strength to continue, to share the secret that she feared.
“You know me better than anyone, Ruby. In all my centuries of living, I’ve never…. gotten someone pregnant. Eventually I figured it was the price of what I was, the power I carried. ” He pressed his lips to her temple. “I know there are men who don’t think about it, don’t care about it. But sometimes I watched kids playing in the park with their dads…. and I’d ache for it. ”
A tear rolled over his hand. “Never…. in
centuries?” Her voice was so soft.
“Never. ” And he let the import of that sink in. He’d never bothered with protection once he’d figured it out, centuries ago. He was immune to STDs; nor could he convey them. So it said something pretty significant, that it had been with her that he’d finally conceived.
The woman who meant more to him than any other ever had.
“Have courage, girl,” he said roughly, bringing her closer, inside and out. “I’m here. ”
“And the whole Grat demon thing…. ”
“I meant it. Though I might throw you over for Marilyn Monroe. If she was alive. I always had kind of a thing for her. ”
“Ass,” she said, her voice muffled because she’d turned it into his forearm. He lifted a brow.
“Did you just wipe your nose on my arm?”
“I was sniffling. ”
He growled at her, rocked her back and forth, making her catch her breath at that sensation, but then he slid free, tucked himself intimately between her buttocks, recognizing they were about to get into a darker area. He didn’t push her, but he sensed when she quieted again. He stilled as well, waiting on her.
“I could feel her laughing inside me, seeing what I was imagining, that great big dog playing tug-of-war with her and her blanket. Then…. he came. Asmodeus. ”
His hands reflexively clenched on her, hard enough that she quivered. He made himself ease the touch, though Derek remembered the way she’d reacted when he spoke the demon’s name in the gun shop, that first day. It had made something in her blacken into a rage so strong, a hatred so visceral, it was an actual hunger.
“He sensed I was…. unprotected, inexperienced. I was a veritable vat of brimming power, lacking any confidence or skills. I might as well have slapped a tag on myself that said ‘Christmas came early. ’ He wanted that power, wanted to drain it from me. But then something happened. Rage.