together."
"Hi dere," said Beany. "Where's da monster?"
"Introductions," said Jake, casting him a hard look. "Manners."
So I introduced us. "I'm Mrs. Weaver," I said. "And this is my neighbor,Mrs. Aspectia."
"Pleased ta meetcha, girls," grinned Jake. "You, Blondie," he waslooking at me, "you must be the one talked on the 'phone. I liked theway you handled Beany. Real cute." He dropped the tripod thing in acorner, and sidled toward me. "Now where's this monster?" he asked,slipping his hand around my bare arm and grinning down at me.
* * * * *
I knew better than to play rough, so I just looked down at his hand, anddidn't stop looking at it until he took it away. He lost a lot of hisgrin. "So where is it?" he said, his voice turning hard and unpleasant.
"Don't worry about that," I said. "Matter of fact, I'm getting so themonster doesn't worry me. He's been playing with baby all day and babyhasn't objected. The main thing I'd like you gentlemen to do for us isto get busy moving us back to our own dimension."
"That's right," said Mabel, her hands on her hips. "And let us knowright now what the charges are going to be, if any."
"No charge," said the runt Beany, staring fascinated at her legs. "'Ceptwe're taking da monster wit' us. Real expensive, them monsters. Drinkos,they're called. Dey get lost in da dimensions now and then. Picked oneup on Pluto fifty years or so acome--or ago."
"Ago?" I said.
"Acome," he corrected.
"Listen," I said, making up my mind. "You can't have the monster. He'skept baby happy all day. But I'll tell you what I'll do. Tell me what heeats and what to do for him and I'll keep him. I've got twenty-fivedollars in poker winnings you can have. Okay--Jake?"
Jake broke out laughing. "You kids are terrific," he said. "You don'tknow what the score is. You're cute!"
"Thanks," I said bitterly. "You restore my confidence. I feel myselfblooming under your hungry gaze."
"Those Drinkos are worth a couple million credits, is what I'm gettingat, and you offer us a stinkin' twenty-five dollars. Tell you what,Blondie." He winked at me. "You kids are over-worked. One look and youcan tell that. Well, Beany and me have got a little cabin up onDimension-L, cut off from everything. The four of us can go there andhave a fine old time. We could stay there a month, and still get youback here in time to kiss your husbands when they get in from work.Whaddya say, Blondie? And you can keep the Drinko!"
"We are accepting no propositions this week," said Mabel with dignity.
"Ah-h, a coupla kill-joys," growled Beany, wandering off toward thehall.
Mabel looked at me and then picked up a vase off the mantle over thefire-place. I gave her the nod. "Stay away from that Drinko," she warnedBeany, "or I'll let you have it."
Beany was annoyed. He stopped, looking imploringly at Jake. Jake giggledas if the whole thing tickled his sense of humor, and walked cat-footedtoward Mabel. She let go the vase with a right-handed swing. He had hisright arm out stiff in front of him, though, and the vase shied off andsmashed against the television set. Then he grabbed Mabel in a bear hug.
That set me off. I had a yearning for Harry, then. He would have laidthese mugs out. And that's all they were--mugs, cheap crooks. I hoppedon one leg, yanking off one of my oxfords. I brought the heel down onJake's curly head. But it didn't do a thing for him, except make himmad. He brought his arm back, cursing at me. It caught me on mylipstick. I remember being surprised that he was actually knocking meout. But that's what he did.
* * * * *
When I woke up, the first thing I knew was that Harry, Jr., wasscreaming. I groggily stood up, and stepped over Mabel, who was justbeginning to moan. I went to the nursery and grabbed up my baby. "Don'tcry," I begged him. "Don't be mad. I'll get your Drinko back. Thosedirty thieves, I'll get it back." I held him under one arm, his pantsdripping. I think I looked like a Pekinese, with my hair over my eyes. Iwent to the 'phone, dialed Harry's number, and got the same routine.
"I _don't_ have the wrong dimension," I cried before the operator couldhang up. "This is an emergency. A couple of crooks stole my Drinko.Please get me the dimension-police."
"You have a Drinko?" the operator asked cautiously. "There must be somemistake. You are calling from Earth? From 1954? I am sorry. Congressruled Earth 1954 could not be connected with the dimension-system. Itwould be impossible for you to own a Drinko."
"Some crooks from 1964 stole my Drinko!" I insisted.
"One moment, please. The Supervisor informs me this is an unauthorizedcall. It will be necessary to conduct a police investigation." Therewere clickings, there were buzzings, there were groups of fuzzy, far-offvoices, and finally the police came in.
"A couple of crooks stole my baby's Drinko!" I repeated loudly. "Idemand my rights as a dimension-citizen!"
"Two thieves confiscated your Drinko," a dry voice said. "Very well.Describe them, please. Describe characteristic phrases, expressions, andvoice-intonations also." I described them. "Very good. Did you say Earth1954? Excellent. Only a matter of six dimensions and thirty years. Weshall investigate immediately." He hung up.
"Hi, Stella," said Mabel, up on one elbow and looking fuzzily at me."You think I'll get out of this in time to get Bill's dinner in theoven? Bill's so darned touchy about dinner."
"Teach him a lesson, then," I snapped, disgusted with her, and runningto the door, because somebody was knocking there. "Train him. Disappointhim. Break his pattern. Don't have dinner. Good evening, gentlemen," Isaid as I opened the door. The police came in. They had Beany. They hadJake.
* * * * *
There were three police. The one in front, a young, nice-looking one,touched his cap and smiled quietly. "Here's your Drinko, ma'am," hesaid, but I already knew the Drinko was back. Harry, Jr., stoppedcrying. He gurgled happily. Somehow, I was willing to bet, he could seethe Drinko. I put him on the floor and the policeman put the Drinko onthe floor. It was beautiful, those squeals that came from my baby. Theyoung policeman smiled again, a quiet, tanned smile.
"We want to thank you, ma'am. These two are the worst criminals in thedimension-system. I want you to know you may have the Drinko as a rewardfor your part in apprehending them. Also, I wish to say that I admireyou for your trippo in pretending to be a dimension-citizen, when, ofcourse, you are not."
"Trippo?"
"Spunk, if you prefer."
"Well, I had to get my baby's Drinko back," I said.
"Naturally," he smiled. "Drinkos make wonderful pets. The day may comewhen Earth 1954 will be connected with dimension-system--and then moreDrinkos will be available."
"Can't we," I asked, "just stay alone in our quiet nook of space?"
"My thought, too," said Mabel, getting to her feet at last and throwingher hair back. "And is there any chance of getting out of here? It'sexciting, thrilling, and romantic, but Bill still has to eat."
"Immediately, Madam! It is merely a matter of disengaging thechrono-beam, which happened to become tangled, in space-time, with thegravitonic structure of the neutronic chrono-field."
"Well!" said Mabel. "That explains it! And so clearly!"
They set up an instrument that looked like the one Jake and Beany had.They sighted along the diagonals of the room and pressed buttons. Thenthey opened the door. "In two minutes, ma'am," the smiling cop said."Good day. It is my hope that we shall meet again." They disappeared outthe door. Sure enough, there was a cake-pan ship hanging in the greysteam. They piled into it and the ship moved off, wobbling, until Icouldn't see it any more.
A minute later, the grey steam melted away and so did Mabel.
Harry came home on schedule. "Baby has hardly cried all day!" I told himhappily. "What a relief! I got a lot of your old clothes mended and Iread three installments of the Saturday Evening Post serial."
"Fine!" said Harry, looking around. "What else happened?"
"Not much," I said, deciding to break it to him gradually.
"Except we'vegot a Drinko." I took him into the nursery. Baby was sound asleep. Isupposed the Drinko was, too. "There he is," I said, pointing to thedepression at the foot of the crib. "That's the Drinko." I told Harrythe whole story. He listened with a straight face.
"Well!" he said. "What thrilling adventures you have. Tell me, isn'tthis sort of thing sometimes too exciting?"
"Not at all," I said, deciding to feed his stomach before I really triedto convince him. "It all comes under the heading of the drab, routineduties of a housewife. Come on now, dinner's ready."
Transcriber's Note:
This etext was produced from _Amazing Stories_ March 1954. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and typographical errors have been corrected without note.
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