Roderick pulled into the gas station slowly approaching the pump. It had been a long day but we'd had a blast at Disneyland. I loved going to amusement parks and Roderick had surprised me this morning by whisking me away for a day of fun. The day had gone better than I could have ever hoped. While sitting at the top of the roller coaster Roderick pulled out a three carat, princess cut diamond and asked me to marry him. While everyone else was screaming from the thrill of the ride, I was screaming with joy. I was so in love with Roderick and I knew we were meant to be together forever.
I glanced at the backseat which was now filled with stuffed animals he'd won for me during the day. Roderick cut his eyes and me and laughed.
“ What the hell are you going to do with all those?” he said stifling a laugh as he stepped out of the car.
I looked over at him and smiled.
“ I'm keeping all of these in our garage. Nice and safe until we have a baby and then they're going in the baby's room.”
“ The baby huh?”
“ Yep. I'm hungry babe, I'm going inside to get a slushy you want one too?” I asked grabbing my purse.
“ Yeah I could go for something cold. Get me the usual.” he said grabbing the pump to fill up the tank. Before I could walk away from him I couldn't resist running around the car and jumping into his arms showering him with kisses.
“ I love you so much! I can't wait to be your wife Roderick.”
Roderick kissed me deep and slow before breaking our kiss.
“ You know that ring ain't shit to me right? You've been my wife since the day I met you. You know that right?”
Tears sprang to my eyes,I could only nod my head yes.
“ I'll be right back.” I whispered. I couldn't wait to get home and make love to my man.
I walked inside the store browsing through the selection of snacks. I couldn't make my mind up on what type of chips I wanted.
“ Amina?”
I looked up to see who was calling my name shocked to see me ex-boyfriend Marquise. I broke into a grin. It was nice running into him even though I knew I was the reason we'd lost touch. He'd called me many times three years ago but I just felt it was best for us not to speak too much since I'd just met Roderick and he'd made it clear from day one he didn't want me speaking to any men,let alone my ex-boyfriend and the only other lover I'd had.
“ Marquise! Hi, how are you? How's your family?”
Marquise walked over and gave me a long, tight hug. I tensed up a bit not because he'd hugged me but the last thing I wanted was for Roderick to see me in the arms of another man. I relaxed a bit, after all Roderick was pumping the gas across the parking lot.
“ Everyone’s good. They ask about you all the time. I'm glad to see you're doing okay since you can't call nobody or return a phone call.” he said smiling. Even though I wasn't interested in Marquise in the least anymore it was good to see he looked as good as ever. He seemed happy. The last three years since I'd seen him had obviously been good to him.
“ I'm sorry Marquise. I just got caught up in life,work and I've been seeing someone pretty seriously as a matter of fact I just got engaged today...,” I said feeling silly about my shady behavior toward him. I knew Marquise and his family cared for me deeply. I felt ashamed of myself for turning my back on them so easily. His mother had treated me like her own child which had meant the world to me since I'd lost my own mother when I was 14. I'd cut them out of my life for someone who at that time I'd just met. Granted Roderick is my world now, but when I turned my back on my friendship with Marquise I didn't even know Roderick. I regretted making that decision.
“ Congratulations! Well I can understand that we all have to move on. It's all good. I'm married now too,got a pretty baby girl.” he said smiling.
“ For real? Oh my God! Congratulations Marquise. I know you better have some pictures of the baby.” I asked excited for him.
“ Of course I do!” he said pulling out his wallet and showing off pictures of his beautiful wife and daughter. Afterward we hugged quickly and I promised to try and keep in touch. I paid for my snacks and drinks then walked outside only to find Roderick parked directly in front of the store instead of at the pumps.
I quickly got in the car,put on my seat belt and placed straws in our drinks. Roderick cut his eyes at me without saying a word as he revved the engine,backed up and sped through the gas station parking lot. We entered the expressway and Roderick never said a word to me.
“ Roderick slow down! You're driving like someone is chasing you. Slow down.” I cried, he was scaring me. He was damn near doing 100 mph on the expressway and was switching lanes back and forth like a mad man. I gripped the door handle to stabilize myself in my seat he was driving so fast.
“ Don't worry about how goddamn fast I'm driving. Worry about keeping your legs closed and draping yourself all over niggas in the store. That's what the fuck you need to worry about!” Roderick screamed at me taking his eyes off the road for a split second to throw me a death stare.
“ What? What the hell are you talking about?” I asked bewildered.
“ Don't play dumb with me. Who the fuck was that you was all hugged up with in the store? Yo' slick ass didn't think I saw you but I did. Is that what you be doing the minute I ain't around? All up on other niggas?” he spat.
I groaned inwardly. I'd hoped he hadn't seen the quick hug I gave Marquise but I hadn't done anything wrong. Roderick had made it very clear to me that he was jealous and wouldn't tolerate disrespect from the very first day I met him. In three years it had never been an issue between us but I wasn't going to allow him to make me feel like I'd done something to disrespect him when I hadn't.
“ What's the muthafuckin' problem? I don't fuck you good enough? Often enough. Hot ass. You better cool your ass down before I fuck you up Amina I swear to God.” he screamed. Roderick then grabbed the 32 oz coke slushy I'd bought for him,flipped the lid off and threw it in my face.
I let out a scream of shock as the icy contents of the cup slid down my face and down the front of my body. I burst into tears at the way he was treating me. I hadn't done anything. It took a moment for the shock to wear off but when it did my tears ceased and all I saw was red. I unsnapped my seat buckle and reached over with my fists balled and hit him everywhere I could. My fist connected with the side of his face, his head,neck and shoulders. I was furious! Roderick did his best to try and hold me away from him. Steering the car with one hand,attempting to hold me off with the other.
“ Stop it Amina! You're gonna make us crash!” He yelled repeatedly.
We were right around the corner from his house...well our house now since he insisted he couldn't sleep a night without me and needed me there. I had to get away from him.
“ Stop this car and let me out.” I said quietly,seething inside.
“ I ain't letting you out on the side of the road! We're almost home then we can talk about this Amina. You fucked up. Just admit it.”
“ LET ME OUT OF THE FUCKIN' CAR!” I screamed repeatedly until he pulled over to the curb. I grabbed my purse and jumped out of the car. I glanced down at my hand and yanked the engagement ring off my finger and threw it inside the car.
“ Fuck you and your ring !” I screamed. I could see a look of shock cross his face but I didn't care.
I turned in the opposite direction he was driving so he couldn't follow me. Roderick tried to back up the car but had to quickly stop due to the oncoming traffic turning into the street. It gave me just enough time to get away from him. I pulled my cell phone out of my purse and called Katrina to come pick me up crying uncontrollably. I couldn't believe he would treat me this way and all I did was love his ass.
I successfully avoided Roderick for two days. I wouldn't answer his phone calls,text messages and had Katrina turn him away when he came to the apartment I once
shared with her looking for me. After work I decided I needed to go over to pack up as many of my things as I could. I'd bought some underwear and a couple of bras but I'd been basically raiding Katrina's closet for three days and it was not working for me considering the fact I was much thicker in the ass and thighs than she was. I always got home before Roderick so I drove over as soon as I got off work to avoid dealing with him.
I entered the house and quickly grabbed several large garbage bags we used for the yard to throw as much of my clothing as I could into them. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would burst out of my chest. I couldn't believe this was the way we were ending. I loved him so much but he obviously didn't feel the same for me or he could have never accused me of cheating on him. He thought I was a whore. I felt like breaking down and crying again but I held it together continuing to pack my things.
“ So you just gonna sneak in here, pack your shit and leave me?”
I jumped at his voice and turned to see Roderick leaning in the doorway staring down at me. He should have been dressed in a suit and still at work. Instead he was dressed like he'd just left the block. Jeans, black t-shirt and sneakers. I had to quickly look away from him because I already felt my resolve weakening just looking at him.
“ I just came to get my things. I don't want any problems Roderick. I'll be out of here in a minute.” I said looking away as I continued to move about our bedroom gathering my things. “ Why aren't you still at work? I was hoping to be in and out before you got home.”
“ I'm sick.”
I raised my eyes to look at him. He looked fine to me. I was the one whose heart was breaking and he was the cause of it.
“ Lay down with me Amina. Please.”Roderick asked,his voice held something I'd never heard before.
“ I am not having sex with you Roderick. Not after the things you said to me, the way you made me feel.” I said shaking my head vigorously.
“ I didn't ask you for sex. I just need you to lay down with me. I haven't slept in two nights I've missed you so much. Can you please just lay down with me?” Roderick walked towards the bed removing his shoes and then his shirt.
I inhaled sharply embarrassed because I was sure he'd heard me. I loved looking at this man. His body was beautiful to me and he knew it. In three years we'd never spent a night apart. Not once. Hell in three years I hadn't gone more than two nights without being made love too. I had to be strong though. I had to ignore the growing wetness between my thighs and the tingling of my now pebbled nipples. Fuck Roderick. Maybe my ass was “ hot” as he put it but it was only for him!
“ Well get used to it. I'm not going to let any man talk to me the way you have Roderick. You pulled this shit the first night we met and obviously you must have been holding your real opinion of me in for the last three years. It didn't take much for your true thoughts of me to come out. There wont be a third time.” I said continuing to stuff my clothing into bags. My throat was tight and I could feel myself slowly unraveling.
I was kneeling on the floor reaching under the bed to retrieve several storage bins I had filled with shoes when I suddenly felt him grab my hips and laying me down on a pillow he'd thrown on the floor.
“ Stop it Roderick!” I said struggling to break away from him but he held me so tight I couldn't move. He pinned my arms to my sides and positioned his legs over mine until I was immobile. We now laid face to face.
“ If you really gon' leave me Amina at least let me rest. I can't sleep without you. You ain’t supposed to be able to sleep without me either but I guess you can huh?” he said staring into my eyes. What I saw next had me speechless. Were those tears in his eyes? I couldn't believe it. Not my Roderick. Yet here he was tears now sliding down his face.
“ I'm tired and I miss you so much Amina . You're breaking my heart. You know I can't live without you.” Roderick whispered leaning in to kiss my lips. Now I was the one breaking down in sobs.
“ You hurt me Roderick.” I choked out between sobs.
“I know baby. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me,please...,” he begged kissing all of my tears away. His hands caressing and kneading every part of my body until I was on fire for him. I shut my eyes tightly willing my mind and body not to want him so goddamn much. The shit wasn't working.
My eyes flew open the sound of my own moans embarrassed me. Is this all it took for me to forgive Roderick's bad behavior towards me?
“ OH GOD!” I cried out grasping his head that was now buried between my spread thighs. All it took was a few laps of his long tongue and I was writhing uncontrollably as I climaxed on his tongue,my back arched sharply. I couldn't stop shaking.
“ Put your legs around me Amina.”
I didn't want to deny him but I still had to try. I did have some pride left.
“ No,stop Roderick we still need to talk about what happened the other day.”
“ Give me what I need Amina. Please.” he asked now on his knees holding my legs apart holding his hard dick in his hands as he stared down at me. “ Just give it to me Amina.” Roderick said. He wasn't even looking at my face anymore. His eyes were locked on my spread pussy.
“ No Roderick.”
“ Your pussy is saying yes.” he said taking the massive head of his dick and rubbing it along my pussy lips. I could feel my slit opening to accommodate him. Damn it really was saying yes.
“ I'll still leave you Roderick.” I gasped even as my hips raised to welcome him home.
“ I know baby. It'll never happen again.” Roderick said lowering his lips to mine and burying himself inside of me. With every powerful thrust Roderick made he proclaimed his undying love and devotion to me. When I came my pussy tightened around the length of him as I screamed his name on wave after wave of pleasure. Moments later Roderick joined me.
“ Goddamn I love your ass. Please don't leave me.” Roderick panted rolling onto his back and taking me with him securely on his chest. Roderick reached up into his nightstand for something.
“ Are you still going to marry me Amina?” he asked his voice was low. He sounded scared.
“ Of course I am. I love you too. I'm not going anywhere.” I held my hand out and he slipped my ring back on my finger.
Who was I fooling? I wanted to be Mrs. Roderick Jabri Thomas. I loved him and couldn't imagine myself anywhere he wasn't.