Sam wore a grim expression when we returned just after dark. “I was beginning to worry. How is Mrs. Higgins?”
“I think she’ll be as good as new in a few days,” Lily said, her eyes showing the strain of the day. She yawned. “I’m going to skip supper and go straight to bed.”
“Hey, what happened to your clothes?” Sam called after her as she headed up the stairs.
“I’ll let Zeph explain.” My sister disappeared, her door closing with a bang a second later. She’d chewed me out all the way home for starting in with Josh. She didn’t understand what it was like to be me—always looked upon with fear or disgust, disrespected for being different. People were naturally drawn to her, but they would cross the street to avoid me. Now, she’d left me standing in the kitchen to face Sam, who wore a wary expression and had his arms folded tightly across his chest.
“What’s there to eat?” I asked. I avoided Sam’s glare and shuffled past him to lose my head in the refrigerator.
“Help yourself to a sandwich. Lily made fresh bread yesterday, and there should be some of that pork shoulder leftover.” Sam released a slow breath and dropped into a chair at the table. “Start talking, kiddo. Tell me what happened.”
I explained about the Johnson brothers and how Lily had fallen off Geronimo. He looked none too pleased when I finally sat down across from him, a sandwich piled high with meat and a few slices of cheese on top, set on a plate. I poured a glass of milk as I finished the story. “I’m just sick of Josh acting like he owns the town just because his father is the local law. You should have heard him threatening us. And the way he looks at Lily…” I stuffed the sandwich into my mouth, seeing no need to go on.
“You know better than to engage in confrontations with those boys. They are nothing but trouble.” Sam’s brown eyes studied me intensely, his features creased with worry. “We can’t have them informing the Industry of our presence here, Zephron. Stay away from them. Is that understood?”
I nodded and kept chewing. Sam didn’t truly understand me either. How could he? He had no clue about who I was or what I was capable of. If he did, he didn’t act like it. He treated me like any other kid. He was gruff and strict sometimes, but I knew that most of the time, he was just trying to teach me to do right. What he didn’t understand was how fast my abilities were growing—or how hard it was to keep them under control.
The hard look on Sam’s face softened. “Having said all that, it’s good that you were looking out for your sister. This world is a dangerous place for girls.” He glanced up the stairs, an unmistakable fondness and concern lining his features. “Lily’s turning into a young woman and there will be lots of boys…men…wanting her for…a mate,” he said, uncomfortably. He shook his head. “I don’t know how to protect her anymore.” Then he looked back at me, his face serious. “If I’m not around…if I die from this cancer…promise me you’ll protect your sister.”
I swallowed the lump of meat that I hadn’t quite chewed enough. I knew what Sam was thinking, and I didn’t even want to go there. If he died, Lily and I would be alone to fend for ourselves. He’d been training us since we were little. We knew how to survive. But not only would we be more vulnerable to capture by the Industry than ever before, this farm and Lily would become assets that all sorts of people might be interested in acquiring. I nodded acknowledgement and tried to show Sam that I was ready—that I was strong enough to handle whatever came up. “I promise, Sir.”
He gave me a small smile, his shoulders slumping as he released a slow breath. “I knew I could count on you.”
I’d pretty much lost my appetite by that time, but as Sam locked the door and turned on the security system, it struck me how frail he seemed, and I set the rest of my sandwich back on the plate. Unless Lily could get to Albany and find the drugs that might cure Sam, he was going to die—and soon. A wave of sadness washed over me from my feet to my head, everything in between screaming that it wasn’t true. I hated the idea of him suffering. What I hated even more was feeling helpless to do anything about it. He’d been so good to me…forgiven me for…for being this way…for killing his sister during childbirth…for everything. I owed him so much—more than I could ever repay.
He ruffled my shaggy head as he passed by. “Shut the lights out when you’re finished.” My throat tightened as his voice faded down the hallway. “Goodnight Zephron…”
“Goodnight Sam.” His pride wouldn’t let him show his pain but I knew exactly what dying felt like. I’d experienced the bone deep agony, the longing for another day, and the fear of giving up control to the unknown every time I drained the life out of a living thing that had a soul. When it came down to the hopeless last days of a dying person, my gift might be a blessing. I’d felt the peace when it was over. For the first time, I was sorry that my abilities didn’t work on Sam. I would have to stand by and watch him fade, say goodbye a hundred times, and live with the memory of seeing him in agony. Maybe that was the point of being human—and if it was, being human sucked.