Slipping my mask off, I shook my head. A terrible disappointment had seeped into every fiber of my being. It seemed silly, moping about something that I had no control over. But I was, and couldn’t help the way that I was feeling. “Darius didn’t show. Raden said that he mentioned canceling. Maybe for good.”
Maddox frowned. “Did he say why?”
“He didn’t have to.” I sucked in a breath and let the confession come pouring out of me. It was a bit of a relief just to say the words aloud, but in no way eased my tension completely. “Yesterday, we were facing off and it ended in a draw.”
Her jaw almost hit the floor. As I changed clothes, she tried to speak several times, but in the end, just grabbed me by the arm and tugged me out the door. Of course she was shocked that I’d matched Darius in a fight—who wouldn’t be? I certainly didn’t think that it was possible, especially this early on in my training. And I never thought that doing so would be enough to end our training sessions. Of course, it was possible that that wasn’t the reason at all. Maybe it was because I’d lost my temper. Maybe it was because I’d totally disrespected my instructor by attacking him. And maybe my unexpected attack had simply surprised him, and that’s the only reason we were in a draw. Or maybe he let me come to a draw, because he felt sorry for me. I had no idea, and might not ever know.
All I did know was that my feet felt heavy as we snuck back to the dorms, and that my chest felt tight as I got dressed in my school uniform and made my way down to the dining hall.
The hall was busy as usual, and Trayton waved us over to our table in the corner. Maddox disappeared to the food line and I pushed my way through the crowd, stopping only when I noticed the familiar face seated next to Trayton. I slid into my seat across from Trayton and he stood, brushing his hand over mine before giving it a squeeze. “Morning, Kaya. I hope you don’t mind the company. Darius has something he wants to talk to me about.”
“Of course I don’t mind.” I managed a smile at Darius, who simply nodded at me. There was no emotion there, no reaction to me at all but for the nod. I didn’t know what he was up to exactly, but something about the timing of this little chat felt off. Glancing over at the food line, I tried to find Maddox, but she was nowhere that I could see. Great. I was going to have to face this on my own.
“As I said, Trayton, I could certainly use your advice on something. You see, I’ve taken to giving extra training lessons to a Barron who desperately needs them.” As Darius spoke, the corner of his mouth lifted slightly in a smirk. Darius was about to say something that both of us might come to regret. My chest tightened, but in a whole new way. “But I’ve reached a point where I’m not at all certain whether or not I should continue my efforts to better her skills.”
Trayton sat back in his chair, listening intently. “It’s not like you to give up on someone, Darius.”
“Not normally, no. But this student is kind of a dek.” He sat back then, cocking an eyebrow, and there was no doubt at all that he was talking about me.
Trayton chuckled. “What makes her such a dek?”
“She’s stubborn, hardheaded, thinks she knows better than me.”
“Not good traits for a Barron, but are you sure that’s the problem? Maybe she has a thing for you. It wouldn’t be the first time a student fell for you.” Trayton shrugged. His tone was matter of fact. It shouldn’t have surprised me that girls often fell for Darius, but for some reason, it did. Maybe because everyone else at the school thought that he was an Unskilled, and that label put him beneath them somehow. Or maybe for some other reason entirely.
“That may be the case…” He didn’t look at me, but I could tell that he was tempted to. I pretended to look for Maddox. Attracted to Darius? Oh heavens no. Not me. Not even a little bit. Forcing my thoughts away from the shirtless image of him, I cleared my throat. Darius propped his feet up on the table. “But the larger problem is that she lost her temper yesterday and attacked me full on, unprovoked.”
Maddox returned to the table then, tray full of food in her hands. As she set it on the table, she said, “Who attacked you?”
“A student.”
Maddox shook her head and shrugged, irritation burning on the edges of her frown. “Drop ’em and report ’em to the headmaster.”
I had to resist the urge to kick Maddox. Hard. Leaning forward, casually plucking a grape from the food tray, I said, “The question is why she attacked you. Did you give her any reason?”
Darius grew quiet with contemplation. After mulling my question over for a bit, he shook his head adamantly. “None at all. We were running through some offensive maneuvers and she lost her temper when I took her down.”
“That calls for regrouping.” Trayton looked at me and offered an explanation in answer to my questioning glance. “Stepping away from the fight. Keeping a cool head is essential in a battle, so it’s a big part of training, and probably the most difficult thing to learn.”
Darius reached out and brushed a smudge of dirt from his left boot. When he spoke, it was directly to me, though no one else at the table was aware of that fact. “So the question remains…what to do? Do I end our training sessions outside the classroom, or do I continue?”
The table went quiet for a bit. Maddox shot me a glance that said that she only just realized that Darius had been talking about me. Trayton chewed on a strip of crispy bacon before responding. “That depends, Darius, on whether or not you see potential in her for success.”
Darius returned his feet to the floor. He didn’t speak for a long time, and in his silence, he allowed his eyes to find mine for the briefest of moments.
“Her skills at times surprise me.” His voice had soft-ened some, and he dropped his gaze to the table between us. When he spoke again, my heart jumped a little. “Yes. The potential is there.”
I cleared my throat, hoping that Darius understood that I was apologizing. “Everyone deserves a second chance.”
With that, Darius stood, popped a grape into his mouth, and turned to walk away. Before he’d taken two steps, he said, “I suppose they do.”
C H A P T E R
Twenty-six
The next morning, I approached the south gate. The grass was dewy under my feet, making my steps sound soft and wet. My breath came out in puffs of fog. The temperature was dropping a little more every day, Summer tripping steadily into Fall. Looking over the Barrons standing near the gate, I sighed. Darius was nowhere in sight.
But then I spied him, coming out of the guard shack. After noticing me, he came over, all business. “You’re late. Again.”
Behind my mask, I smiled. I was glad to see him too.
“Glad I caught you. I was worried I’d have to search the woods. Not that I’d know which way to look.” Trayton’s voice came from behind me. I immediately stiffened.
What was he doing here? Did he know that I was the one Darius had been talking about at breakfast yesterday? I was caught. Oh fak, I was caught and there was nothing I could do about it. But then, I thought, maybe it wasn’t a bad thing. After all, Trayton’s tone seemed completely calm. Maybe he was okay with the idea of me training after all.
Darius smiled. First at me, then behind me at Trayton—which told me that Trayton likely had no idea that I was me at all. And with the face mask, he wouldn’t. Not unless I spoke. “We would have waited. But not for long. Let’s get out there and back before the dining hall opens for breakfast. I’m hungry enough as it is.”
Trayton moved around to my right side and offered me a nod. “Name’s Trayton.”
Darius spoke before I could utter a squeak that would undo every bit of secrecy my face mask offered. “This is Tabitha. Now if you ladies are done with the small talk, let’s focus on some quiet practice this morning, shall we?”
Trayton bowed his head respectfully and led the way to the south gate. I looked at Darius, whose smile simply grew as he extended his arm in front of him, as if to say “ladies first.” With a scowl, I followed after Trayton, my
curiosity driven to the brink. Why was Trayton here? What was the point of this? And did Darius have any idea what it would mean if Trayton learned that I had been training behind his back? My relationship with Trayton would be in jeopardy. He’d have to follow Protocol and turn me over to the headmaster. And my parents…
I swallowed hard. My steps slowed, but still I followed Trayton out the gate and down the hill, with Darius close behind me. The air felt heavy. I wasn’t certain whether that was because of the thick layer of condensation hanging in it, or the worry in my heart that Darius might betray my confidence at any moment. But I moved through it, counting my paces until we reached the secret training area. It felt wrong, being here with someone who wasn’t Darius. Like an intruder had invaded our space.
Trayton slipped his training mask on and removed his katana from the sheath on his back. Darius poised himself between us, all echoes of his previous smile completely removed. He was all business now. “I’ve asked Trayton to face off with you today, Tabitha. He’s my finest student, and if you can best him, I’ll know that that little stunt you pulled yesterday wasn’t just a fluke. I’ll also know where to take the next training steps. So if you’ll step into the ring, Trayton will be on the offensive to start. Take the fight where it leads, and finish strong. Hesitation is your weakness.”
Trayton moved immediately into a fighting stance. With a nervous breath, I struck my pose, ready to face him. My heart was rattling inside my chest, and my legs were shaking. Facing Darius was one thing, but facing down the man that I was Bound to—that was another thing entirely. What if I seriously injured him? Not only would that be an awful experience for Trayton, but I’d have no choice but to expose myself and heal him. If I didn’t, Trayton might die. And if I did…what would become of my parents?
With a million possible scenarios whipping through my mind, I readied myself for Trayton’s attack. Trayton raised up his katana in an attack, swiping it forward faster and more crisply than I was currently capable of. His attack struck me as familiar, and as I blocked it and turned, it occurred to me that I had encountered it before. Trayton fought like Darius.
As I turned, I brought my sword around and slid my left foot out, lowering my body closer to the ground. I brought the blade hard toward his shins, but at the last possible moment, Trayton jumped over my blade. Part of me was relieved. I didn’t want to injure Trayton, but then again, I didn’t want to get hurt by him either.
The moment he hit the ground, he spun and swung forward, aiming his katana right for my neck. I ducked to the side in a near panic. My heart raced so fast that it felt like a single, long beat inside my chest. The horrified realization that Trayton was aiming to kill swept over me, and I had to fight from crying out.
If I did that, if I so much as uttered a peep, it was all over. My training, my time with Darius. Everything.
My jawline felt warm and wet. I reached up, feeling the blood on my neck. Trayton had just nicked my ear, but there was no time to examine it. He swung again, this time straight at my head, and I brought up my katana in a block, my instincts taking over. The sound of metal on metal rang through my ears as our katanas met in the air between us. Our blades still together, he pressed down hard with his sword and I braced my weapon, my shoulders burning, knowing it was just a matter of time before he broke through my defenses. Behind Trayton, I could see Darius. His foot was propped up on a rock, one hand stroking his chin as he watched our interaction. I could read the expression in his eyes.
He looked pleased.
Disgust filled me, coupled with rage. My lungs burned as my breathing came hard and heavy, but I pushed back, and was surprised to find that I could hold Trayton’s advances at bay. He stood a foot over me at least, but here I was, holding him off, keeping him from breaking through. By the look of the tension in Trayton’s body, he was surprised too—even though he was under the impression that he was fighting a Barron, an equal. Not some lowly Healer. Especially not his Healer.
As if the thin thread that was holding his patience together had snapped, Trayton pivoted the weight on his weapon, slamming the handle of his katana into my shoulder. Pain rocked through me and I fell back. Regaining my balance, I swept his leg and he went down. With Darius’s smug expression locked in the forefront of my mind, I pulled my weapon through the air in a crosscut with all the strength I could muster. Pulling back at the last second, my blade stopped at Trayton’s neck.
He whipped off his mask, his eyes furious and dark. My heart slowed, sinking some inside my chest. I could have killed him. I could have taken Trayton’s life in a moment of fury against my teacher.
Wordlessly, I slid my katana into its sheath on my back and held out a hand. When he took it, after a moment’s hesitation, I helped him stand. We stood there, catching our breath, until Trayton wiped the blood from his neck. “You’re a hell of a combatant, Barron.”
“That she is.” Darius entered the circle then and excused Trayton with a nod. Trayton picked up his mask and retreated up the hill. Several minutes passed before either of us moved or spoke.
He’d complimented me, yes, but Darius had also done the unforgivable. When I was sure that we were alone, and that Trayton was completely out of earshot, I whipped off my mask and tossed it to the ground. I shoved Darius as hard as I could, fury welling up from within me. “What the fak was that about?”
Darius barely moved from my assault. His words were eerily calm, as if he’d been expecting my reaction. “It was just part of the training.”
I didn’t have to look far to see the lie in his eyes. Snatching my mask from the ground, I shoved it on and ran up the hill toward the gate. If this was what he deemed just an everyday part of training, then he could forget it. No amount of training could be worth exposing me to Trayton and endangering the lives of my parents. I was done. I was finished. With Darius, with training, with everything.
After my final class of the day, and after a long day spent avoiding Trayton and nursing my shoulder, I walked into my room, shutting the door between Maddox and me, hoping to spend some time alone thinking. I also wanted to rub my injured shoulder with rose oil, and coax the muscles there into a less painful state.
On the small table near the door was a fresh vase of red roses, with a note.
“Meet me at the library tonight after dusk. –Yours, T”
Maybe I should have been happy about the regular appearance of fresh flowers in my room. Any normal girl might have been thrilled about the love notes and attention. But even though I smiled each time I saw them, inside I felt like I was doing so because that was how I was supposed to react. Not that the flowers and notes weren’t perfectly nice, but I wanted more than roses and poetry. I wanted respect.
I bit my bottom lip in contemplation. On one hand, I really wanted to be left alone, really wanted to confront Darius about what he’d done. On the other, I longed to spend some quiet time with Trayton, to be alone and normal and forget about Graplars. My nightmares had all but ceased, and I was really looking forward to some sound rest, but how could I resist an evening at the library with Trayton? I couldn’t. So with a deep breath, I opened the parlor door and showed Maddox my most charming smile. Instantly, she snorted. “Whatever, Princess. Let’s go.”
Not long after, we were walking up to the library. The entire walk, I thought about my mother and how much I missed her. Maddox was great, but she wasn’t exactly the kind of friend you could cry to. Maddox was a solution-finder, a fixer, not someone who’d let you sob into their shoulder because a boy was mean to you. Every day I waited for a letter from my parents, some sign that they were alive and well. I’d written to them weekly, but there was no guarantee that the school messengers were actually delivering my notes, or that Headmaster Quill had even allowed them to carry my scribblings off Shadow Academy grounds. The very thought made me feel incredibly lonely.
Trayton was waiting for us just outside the library. His smile was earnest—so unlike the one I’d offered Maddox to get her to
take me to the library when I should have been studying for a quiz on herbal remedies. His smile spread the closer I got to him. “You’re not an easy girl to run into.”
Trying my best not to let my guilt show at having avoided him all day, I smiled back. “A girl can never be too easy to find. Gives boys ideas about them.”
He opened the door and we moved inside. As we moved up the stairs, I flashed Trayton a questioning glance. What were we doing at the library? We certainly couldn’t sneak into the secret room he’d shown me. Not with Maddox there—she’d done Trayton enough favors. But Trayton didn’t answer my look with anything but one that said that I should just wait and see what he had planned.
As we reached the top of the stairs, Trayton turned to Maddox. “Twenty minutes.”
Maddox shook her head. “This time’s gonna cost you some trinks, Barron.”
Trayton faked a gasp and dropped three coins in her open palm. “Maddox! I’m shocked. Bribery?”
Maddox shrugged and sank into one of the chairs in the loft. “It’s a living. Twenty minutes. No more.”
As Trayton opened the secret door, I couldn’t help but smirk. “Breaking the rules, Barron? I thought you had to follow Protocol.”
Trayton grinned. “Section three, paragraph twenty-two of the Protocol handbook states that newly Bound Barrons and Healers are allowed up to three hours of private time together in the first year in order to exchange details of one another’s history.”
“Ahh. A loophole.” With a chuckle, I stepped inside and we moved up the stairs together. Trayton’s hand was warm in mine, and I struggled between mixed emotions as we touched. The guilt over not being honest about training. The fear over having faced him in combat. The thrill over holding his hand in a dark, secret place that was ours to share. We moved into the small attic space. Once we were seated, I looked up at the stars, which were twinkling down at me from the crystalline ceiling. “What was it like,” I wondered aloud, “growing up the way you did.”