CHAPTER 10
“We will find and save Paulette,” Jesse said confidently.
“What if we can’t find her? I mean, it’s going to be hard enough just finding the port hole,” Presley said as she nervously bit her thumb.
“We have to find her. I knew coming here was too dangerous. I have to get you home,” Jesse looked down. “I don’t want you to leave, but I know now that you must. It will never be safe here. I wish that there was a way . . . I would do anything if there was a way,” said Jesse.
Presley’s look turned into a hard stare. “You don’t even know me. How is it that your feelings for me are so strong when I have only known you for a few days? I don’t understand,” she said.
“You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you,” Jesse looked at her hopelessly.
“Try me.”
Jesse eyes focused on Manna. “You may not believe me, Presley, but maybe you would believe Manna. Manna, please, help me tell her. Help me make her understand.
“I don’t think so,” Manna shook his head. “I’m sorry. I just don’t see the advantages of telling her,” he said.
“Please, Manna. I’ve been here unwillingly for years. I’ve lost my entire life. I was forced to give up my life. Please, give Presley a reading. It’s the only way that she will understand,” he pleaded.
“Understand what?” Presley asked.
“You do have the same feelings for me as I do for you. You have too,” he urged. “You do. I know that you do. I can feel it. Aren’t you at least curious about where this feeling comes from?”
Presley was curious. She didn’t understand her feelings for him. But, she was also scared of uncovering the truth. Scared of the unknown. Cautiously, she nodded.
“I’m begging you to read her," Jesse pleaded.
The despair in Jesse’s eyes convinced Manna and he slowly walked over to a cushioned bench. Resting his head on a small pillow, he placed his hands on his chest and shut his eyes. After a few moments of silence, he opened them. They appeared to be black. His eyelids began to flutter vigorously. A few moments later, once in a deep trance, he asked, “What is your question?”
“Why do I love this girl, Presley?” Jesse asked as he looked deeply into Presley’s eyes. Presley looked sharply at Jesse, surprised by his use of the word love.
Still in a deep trance, Manna replied, “In another life, in another time, she was your fiancé. In this other life her name was Emily Rose, and the two of you were to be married a week after Jesse disappeared. You’re soulmates, destined to be together. In each life you have the chance to find each other. However, since Jesse is stuck on Porha, neither of you are able to connect with your true soulmate. You two were once madly in love with each other. Then he was suddenly taken.
“Emily Rose, who has lived many lives since, is presently reincarnated as Presley Dae. Emily was so confused when Jesse disappeared. She thought Jesse had left her. She thought that maybe Jesse didn’t want to marry her.
“Then word came along that another young girl, Sarah, had also disappeared at the same time. As the years went by with no word from Jesse or Sarah, Emily and Jesse’s parents determined they ran off together.
In every life you have the chance to connect with your soulmate. Presley doesn’t have a soulmate on Earth, and so she still feels lonely and lost in her life today,” he said slowly.
Presley’s eyes began to fill with tears as Manna continued the reading. “She longs to be loved and desired, but she hasn’t been able to make such a connection with anyone because Jesse is her soulmate and he’s unattainable to her. She will go on in her life looking for love, but it will be destined to fail, for no love will ever match what she once had in another life, in another time with Jesse.”
As Manna came out of his trance his eyes slowly opened and gradually began to change to green. After his eyes returned to their natural shade of pale blue, he asked, “Was the information helpful?”
Presley looked stunned as she stared at Jesse, “So, I was in love with you in another life?”
“Yes,” replied Jesse. “I knew right away when you first came here." He took hold of Presley’s arm and turned it over. He pointed to a small birthmark on her forearm. I noticed that birthmark on your arm shortly after you came here. Emily had the same birthmark, it stunned me at first, and I thought that it was only a coincidence. But as soon as I touched you, I felt an undeniable connection. I felt an energy that was very familiar,” he said.
Presley looked down at her birthmark. “I felt as if I knew you too, but I just couldn’t make sense out of it,” she confessed.
“I hesitated telling you. I know how crazy this must sound and I know that you are going back. I prayed that if I could only see you one more time I’d tell you how much I love you and how sorry I was that we didn’t get the chance to be married,” he rambled.
Presley was trying to make sense of the information as she turned to Manna. “What does this mean exactly? You’re saying that in another life I was Emily, and then I was reincarnated over one hundred and fifty years later- into me?”
“Yes. You have much more to learn. That’s why you came back again,” Manna told her.
“Okay, what exactly am I supposed to learn? Like physics and calculus?” she said sarcastically.
“No. It’s not about what you learn in a textbook or how educated you are. Life is about how much you grow spiritually. How you are enlightened in each life determines how many times you come back. The unfortunate part for you is that your soulmate, your life partner if you will, is trapped here. So, in each life you’ll never be capable of a deep loving connection with anyone. So, more than likely, you have been trying to find Jesse in each of these lives,” Manna replied.
“I’ve been trying to find Jesse?”
“Yes, and you did! Subconsciously - you found me.” Jesse took her hand.
“But I don’t remember being Emily. Wouldn’t I have some recollection of her?” Presley questioned.
“That depends on how intuitive you are. Some people have extremely strong feelings of dé ja vu, when you experience the feeling of having done something before or visiting a place that you feel like you’ve been before, but never have. Maybe you lived there or did something in a previous life and you’re remembering bits of it in your current life. Some people remember their name in another life or where they lived. They just don’t talk about these things openly in your world for fear of being thought of as crazy. Knowing the information now might prompt some memories of your former life with Jesse,” explained Manna.
“Am I the same person that I was?” Presley shook her head, confusing herself with the question. I mean, is Presley the same person as Emily?” she asked.
“Yes and no,” replied Manna. “Of course your appearance is different, but your soul is the same. Your body is just a casing which holds your soul. But your soul is eternal so when your external body dies your soul lives on. The soul that once lived in Emily now lives on in you, Presley. See, your body and your brain are connected which allows for your body movements, speech, and so on. But your mind and your soul are connected, and that is where you find who you are. But the body and brain are not eternally connected to your mind and soul. Together they all help you achieve a higher degree of enlightenment, but the body only lasts for a short period of time, and when it dies your spirit lives on eternally,” Manna took a deep breath.
“Think of it like this; your body is a radio and your soul is like the radio waves. Say the radio, your body, broke. Just because the radio broke doesn’t mean the radio waves are broken as well. If you get a new radio, a new body, it would pick up on the same radio waves as the old radio. Do you understand? Your spirit is like the radio waves because it doesn’t die. Your body may die, but it’s only a transmitter, anyway. Your soul lives on - eternally . . . fo
rever.”
“Okay,” Presley looked at Jesse as she unsuccessfully tried to recall a memory of him in her former life. Then she remembered her dream. Her heart began to pound. “Can Jesse come back with me? Is there a way?” she asked abruptly without thinking.
Manna shook his head. He picked up The Book of Codes and flipped through several of the pages. He stopped and turned the book to us so that they could see the drawing.
“This picture demonstrates what would happen to a human body if it were to go back to Earth through the port hole, past the time their life would have originally expired. If Jesse was to go back with you, he would age to 186 years old on Earth. He’d be dead. He would age and die rapidly, within seconds. No, he cannot go back with you. You and Paulette can still go back. Paulette would age, but she could live out the rest of her life on Earth. Or, she could stay here and remain 15 until she dies here. That is if you can save her from Fiend. I know that the journey here was long and exhausting, and all of this information is completely draining. Both of you must stay here tonight and get some rest."
“Is there a place where Jesse and I can be alone?” Presley asked wearily.
“Of course,” Manna could sense the distress is her voice. “We’ll talk more tomorrow and discuss possible strategies we can use to get Paulette back. For now, you both need rest."
Manna opened the door and led them down the hallway and another flight of stairs. Tucked away at the bottom of the stairs was a room, separate from the rest of the castle.
“Rest here for the night. Everything you need should be in this room. There are extra clothes in the dresser and a bathroom to your right." He walked out of the room and shut the door behind him.
Presley sat on the large, soft bed. The blanket looked worn and tattered. The room felt cold and had a musty smell. It would have been completely dark if not for two small candles flickering on each side table.
Jesse sat on the floor and faced Presley, “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know,” she answered.
“I know that you’re confused. I am too. But there is not a doubt in my mind of who you are- or who you were. You are the same person I fell in love with long, long ago. And you are the same person I’ve been in love with for all of these years. I have never stopped loving you. I’ve never stopped thinking about you. I’m frustrated because I know that you don’t remember being Emily. I wish you could remember. I have the love of my life in front of me right now and she doesn’t remember me,” he shook his head slowly.
“For so long I’ve wanted to see you again, to hold you again, even for a brief moment. And now, even though I had wished for only a moment, I’m realizing a moment isn’t going to be enough. This hurts all over again because I know you are going back. You have to go back - I know that we can’t be together. I know you cannot stay here. It isn’t safe."
Presley’s eyes began to fill with tears again. She had a strong desire for Jesse, that up until now, she had been trying to suppress. The feeling hadn’t made sense to her.
“This isn’t fair,” she mumbled. “I’m just having a hard time processing all of this. I know my feelings for you are strong and real. I now have a deeper understanding of why this feeling is so strong. I’ve been questioning my feelings for the last few days.”
“You’re thinking too much. You’re thinking with your head,” Jesse said in frustration.
“Stop. Quit thinking and close your eyes." Presley closed her eyes and Jesse sat beside her on the bed. Jesse took Presley’s hand and held it closely to his chest. He leaned in closely to her face. He turned her head slightly to smell the hair right above her ear.
“You smell the same,” he said, with his eyes closed. Presley’s arms filled with goose bumps.
“Do you feel that?”
She opened her eyes and Jesse took her other hand and held it gently, staring deeply into her eyes. He asked her again, “Do you feel that?”
“Yes,” she answered.
“This feeling is undeniable. It’s love. Agape love. You are trying to make sense out of an emotion. True love is supposed to last forever. Even though we can’t be together, it comforts me to know that our love has truly lasted.”
Presley listened intently as he confessed his undying love for her. She had never felt anyone love her so deeply. Ever. Not her mother and certainly not Tyler.
Jesse scratched his head and took deep breaths as he tried to keep the tears from falling.
He laughed nervously, “I don’t want to lose you again.”
He wrapped his arms around her and they fell together on the bed. Typically, she would have been skeptical of a guy’s intention, lying there on the bed with her, but not Jesse. She felt more secure with him than she had with anyone ever before. She curled her legs up and he held her tight. She could feel his heart against her back and his breath on her neck.
“Sleep,” he whispered, as he stroked her hair.
Presley slowly drifted to sleep. Jesse stayed awake and stared at her face as the candlelight flicked against her skin. He wanted to stay in that moment forever. He wanted to be present. He wanted to remember how she felt, her soft skin, her familiar intoxicating smell and he wanted to remember how he felt. Being with her again made him feel as if he was home. He was grateful to be with her, but he felt the agony gnawing at him, knowing that he was going to lose her forever. He finally realized she would inevitably have to go back, but for this night they were together. In Jesse’s mind Presley and Emily were only words. Her spirit was the same and it was her spirit that he had been in love with so long ago. He fell asleep with his arm gently embraced around Presley’s waist, his head resting against hers.