Chapter 20: Love, Georgia-Style
“So, don’t wait up for us mom. We’ll probably get back late.” I said pulling on my sandals.
“I love you nana.” Lucy smiled, with adorable dimples, big brown eyes and her beautiful bronzed blonde hair.
“I love you too sugar face. You give Auntie CeCe a kiss for nana, okay?”
“I will. She told mommy that she got a big present for me.”
“Ooh—I wonder what it is.” My mom looked at her with the famous Buchanan dimples.
“I don’t know but I hope it’s pink.” Lucy said.
“Hey pretty girl.” A voice said coming in from the front door.
“Eric!” Lucy squealed, delightfully, before she jumped up into his arms.
“Hey there,” I called to Eric from the kitchen, as I put on my earrings.
“There’s my other pretty girl. You look great.” He said, kissing my forehead with Lucy wiggling around in his arms.
“Thank you.” I said hugging him back. “Is it nice outside?”
“Yeah, it’s great— but a little breezy. It’s supposed to get cooler and rain tonight but there’s not a cloud in the sky now.
I smiled, thinking back to the day at the beach when it poured on me, with barely a cloud in the sky. “Okay, I’m ready to go. I’m just going to grab a jacket or something.” I said kissing him, lightly, before heading upstairs.
“Take your time; it’s okay if we’re a few minutes late.” He said as I climbed the stairs.
I looked around my room to find something to go with my long, white lacey sundress with spaghetti straps. I didn’t want a big jacket. As I scanned the room I saw Skylar’s antiqued-looking sweater. I’d slept in it and worn it many times since the night he gave it to me. It was still comfortable and had shrunken a few sizes smaller, a few years ago, when Grandma Evi tried to do laundry using hot water.
“Mommy, let’s go. I need to see Auntie!” I heard Lucy shout from the bottom of the stairs.
I grabbed his sweater and headed downstairs. “Okay, I’m ready. I love you mom.” I said kissing her goodbye. “I love you too Evi.” I said moving on to her next for kisses and hugs.
“Have a great time and tell CeCe we’ve missed her and can’t wait to see her at the wedding.” My mother said before we closed the door behind us.
“Do you want me to drive dear?” Eric asked as we headed down the steps.
“Sure, that would be nice. Then I can sit back and enjoy this gorgeous evening with you.”
“That sounds good to me.” He smiled back, taking my hand into his before giving me a quick peck on the lips as we parted to get Lucy buckled in the car.
“I can do it mommy.” Lucy said firmly.
“Okay, I will watch just in case you want help.”
“Okay, but I got it.” She said, before snapping the lock of the car seat belt together.
“Great job Lu.” Eric congratulated her with a high five.
“See mommy I can do it myself.”
“You sure can. Good job baby.” I said kissing her as I ensured it was fastened tightly.
“Mom—I got it!” Lucy said, shooing my hands away.
“I know. I’m just making sure it’s not too tight on you love.” I said, backing up from her feisty little hands.
“Good comeback.” Eric whispered to me as I got into the passenger’s seat beside him.
“Thanks, she’s so…”
“Smart.” I heard Lucy say from the backseat.
“Yes, you are so smart.”
“And pretty, and funny, and sweet,” Lucy said without looking up from playing with her doll.
“Yep baby. You sure are pretty, and funny, and sweet. You’re a lot like your Auntie CeCe.”
“I know mommy.”
“I’m glad you know sweetie.” I said as Eric drove towards CeCe’s parents.
“So, I’ll forgive you if you abandon me tonight.” Eric said, reaching over to hold my hand.
“What?”
“I know you’re going to be completely absorbed with CeCe. And it’s okay—because I know you haven’t seen her in five months and she’s your best friend.”
“Oh, okay. I didn’t know what you meant.” I said, wrinkling my nose at him with a crooked smile.
“I know; I’m a really good boyfriend.” He laughed, softly squeezing my hand.
“Awe, you are so good to me.”
“I can’t wait to meet Prince Charming.” Lucy blurted out.
“Who?” I asked.
“Prince Charming—Auntie’s boyfriend.”
“Oh yeah, Prince Charming,” I grinned, looking at Eric.
As we pulled into the driveway, Lucy who had been to CeCe’s parents many times by now was already unbuckling her seat belt.
“Lucy, don’t unbuckle until we’ve stopped the car honey.”
“Mom, I want to see Auntie.” She demanded jumping out of her seat.
“Yeah, mom—I want to see Auntie.” Eric mimicked Lucy.
“You hush.” I joked back as I stepped around to Eric.
Lucy had already opened the door and was finding her way up to the front door.
“Char…” Eric pulled back gently on my hand as I headed towards the door.
“What?”
“Char, I just wanted to tell you that you look beautiful and I…”
“Mommy hurry!” Lucy said from the front steps.
“Okay Lucy. We’ll be right there.” I said feeling something wet hit my cheek distracting me momentarily. “Was that rain?” I asked, looking up, feeling another small drop of water fall on my nose.
“Mom!” Lucy shouted again.
“Okay, we’re coming.” I said looking at Eric. “Let me grab my sweater.”
“Yeah, it’s rain; let’s get inside in case it decides to stick around.” He said, waiting for me to pull my sweater on.
“Eric, were you going to say something?” I asked as he and I headed towards Lucy, now standing with the butler just inside the door.
“I was but it can wait.” He said, ushering us in.
“Are you sure?” I asked as we were greeted with drinks and escorted to the veranda in the back.
“I’m sure.” He said, kissing my cheek as we headed out the back entryway.
“You’re not too bad yourself handsome.” I said picking up on his compliment a few minutes earlier.
“Oh great—we get to go back outside.” Eric laughed.
As we walked back outside I saw the beautifully landscaped trees covered in white lights. Full hanging ferns on the outer eaves swayed slowly in the breeze. The sunset fired up orange-lavender flames across the sky. I felt a few more drips of rain fall on my face. Lucy neared the stairs down to the lower level first, catching up to Bev before latching on to her leg. I then saw Bev and James, standing next to the backs of another couple, probably Christian’s parents. Eric let go of my hand and headed over to where Lucy was to pull her off Bev’s leg and shake Mr. Crawford’s hand. Finally, I saw CeCe. She looked stunning standing in front of their beautifully lit-up pool which reflected the colors of the sky. She was radiant—almost glowing with her perfectly curled short, blonde hair framing her sun-kissed skin. She was smiling and looking down. As I descended the marbled steps my eyes followed CeCe’s gaze. I saw the back of Lucy’s Prince Charming. He was on bended knee with his hands folded into hers, looking up at her. The drips were now turning into regular, small pelts.
“Hi Charlotte.” Bev called over to me first, smiling enthusiastically.
CeCe looked up and screamed, “Char”.
“We were just listening to Christian re-enact his proposal since none of us were there.” Bev said as Lucy jumped into her arms.
“Charlotte Renee Buchanan what took you so long?” CeCe shrieked as she sprinted over to me, leaving Christian still on his knees.
“CeCe!” I said, throwing my arms open to catch her embrace.
She knocked me just about over as she made contac
t. “I’ve missed you so much Char!”
“Ladies and gentlemen, I think we need to get inside before it pours down.” Bev said ushering everyone towards the house as a crackle popped overhead, showering down rain like fireworks falling from the sky.
“I’m so glad you’re here. You’ve got to meet Christian!” CeCe said, still hugging me like a wrestler with his opponent in a headlock.
With rain beating down like nails dropping from the sky, I saw Christian stand and look up as he ran his hands through his brown, wet hair. I watched as he turned around to head towards the house. Like one of the statues on the lawn, he was motionless. As my eyes met his, I became paralyzed. His chiseled cheek bones still perfect, were unhinged as he stood there with the rain streaming down his face. I had to be imagining this.
“Girls, get in here.” Bev called from the door with towels.
“Okay.” CeCe yelled back through the rain. “Honey, this is my best friend I’ve told you about for the last four months.” CeCe shouted as she turned towards Skylar.
Christian was Skylar. I couldn’t move; my feet felt like they were cemented to the ground. I felt my breath leave my body. CeCe pulled my hand with her as she turned towards the house. Spun around quickly with CeCe’s spontaneous sprint towards the house, I peered back to see Skylar standing still, watching at me. His subdued expression drove waves of chills up my body. I thought about this moment every day since the first day I met him. I never thought it would happen, though, I dreamed it would—just not in these circumstances.
“Girls what were you doing out there so long. I know you’ve missed each other but neither of you need to catch a cold before CeCe’s big day.” Bev said, handing us towels.
“Christian, honey, here’s a towel.” CeCe said, handing him a towel. “Where are my manners?” CeCe joked. “Christian, this is Eric, Char’s boyfriend.”
I draped the towel around me as I still felt chills running up my neck.
“It’s nice to meet you.” Eric said extending his hand out to shake Skylar’s briefly.
“Hey, let’s get you warmed up sweetie.” Eric hugged me and began rubbing my back. I caught both CeCe and Skylar watching us. CeCe’s eyes were fixed on Eric as I turned my gaze back to Skylar. Skylar locked eyes on me while he dried his hair.
“Wow, you got soaked.” A woman with bronzed blonde hair in her early fifties said as she walked over to Skylar.
“Char, this is my soon-to-be mother-in-law, Christine La Fleur. Over there is my soon-to-be father-in-law, Sidney.” CeCe pointed towards the sitting room.
“Hi, it’s nice to meet you.” I gathered up the strength to say.
Her face was warm and gentle and she reached out to hug me despite the pool of water I had created all around me.
“It’s so nice to meet you. We just love CeCe.” She said with a light southern accent.
“Auntie Ce, do I get my present now?” Lucy asked as she stormed the back entryway.
“Lucy? That’s rude to ask.” I said bending down to her height. “Use your good manners Lu.” I instructed.
“Oh it’s okay Charlotte.” Bev took Lucy by the hand. “Somebody has a birthday coming up.”
“I have a birthday coming up.” Lucy jumped excitedly.
“You do? Maybe you’ll like this present I got for somebody who’s turning three.”
“It’s for me.” Lucy smiled with her dimples darting out on both sides.
“She’s really cute.” Christine smiled.
“Thank you.” I said, feeling an irony within my reply.
“Her name’s Lucy?” Skylar spoke for the first time.
“Ahhh,” I paused, “Yeah. Her name is Lucy Grace.”
I saw his eyes follow her and Bev into the other room before he looked at me again. I hadn’t eaten much today and with this disbelief I was suddenly feeling very weak.
“Hey guys let’s come in the dining area. I think dinners ready to be served.” CeCe announced happily.
She came over to me and locked her arm with mine. “You don’t mind if I steal her just for tonight—do you Eric?” She smiled at him.
“Of course not CeCe; I expected it.” He smiled back warmly.
“Thanks.” She smiled back. “I didn’t know you still had this sweater.” CeCe said, pinching a small piece of the material. “I would have thought you’d thrown that away by now.” CeCe said, looking back at Eric.
“Oh my goodness!” I was wearing Skylar’s sweater. “Yeah, I was trying to hurry and just grabbed it quickly.” I said trying to mask my embarrassment. I did not want to clue Eric into whose sweater I was wearing or remind Skylar that it was his.
“Must be an old boyfriend’s sweater?” Skylar grinned.
“Nope.” I said, pursing my lips slightly together.
“Nah—just some guy that meant something to her once. But she’s got a better guy now.” CeCe said, smiling at Eric.
I was crushed. My best friend was in love with my Skylar. And apparently, he was in love with her enough to be marrying her the day after tomorrow. This was not the Prince Charming I envisioned for CeCe. With every word, I felt a strange mixture of illness and anger brewing inside me. Not that anyone other than Skylar or I knew that he was the owner of that sweater. I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through this night let alone the next two days or for that matter—the rest of my life watching CeCe be affectionate with my Skylar. How in the world, the whole wide world, did CeCe find Skylar? The one guy I ever truly loved and the father of my child. How could this be happening to me? CeCe was floating amongst the clouds while I was barely hanging on to the life raft. I prayed to see Skylar again but this was not part of my prayer—this was not right. It was not fair. But how could I say anything to my best friend who was the happiest she’d ever been? And how could I deny myself the future I rightfully deserved?
“Okay, I have you and Eric sitting over here. Lucy’s going to sit by Bev and James on the end and Christian and I will sit across from you so we can catch up.” CeCe instructed.
“Mommy, look what Gigi Bev got me.” Lucy waved a French-looking Barbie doll in my face.
“Wow, that’s really nice Lucy. Did you say thank you?”
“Of course! Isn’t it pretty—it’s my first Barbie doll.” She said dancing the doll around on Eric’s knee.
“That’s cool.” Eric said, dancing the doll back and forth causing Lucy to let her giggles slip out.
“Dinner is served.” Bev announced as several wait staff arrived with platters of food.
“Thank you.” Christine said sweetly to the wait staff and to Bev for her excellent hostess skills.
Skylar’s dad, Sidney, was talking with James about the stock market while Bev and Christine were busy talking about the wedding. CeCe was surprisingly talkative with Eric and seemingly very comfortable. Lucy was transfixed on her newest doll—and already taking the clothes off to dress her in another outfit. As I sat cutting up Lucy’s food, randomly, I caught Skylar eyeing me and observing Lucy. He was quiet talking very little unless prompted by CeCe. She was busy talking about how they met while she was volunteering for the girl’s home that gave her peace and purpose. It was one of the organizations that Skylar’s family helped to support. He had finished school and became involved in gathering financial support from donors all around the world for various non-profit organizations. He sought out contributions, managed their distribution and reported on the financial administration of these funds to the numerous agencies they helped support. Every once in a while when she wasn’t talking a million miles an hour, CeCe looked at me with a big smile. I smiled back when I didn’t feel like throwing up. I was still in shock. I decided to get some fresh air for a moment to catch my breath or call Richie—the only person that I could possibly tell my trauma to.
“Oh I forgot to mention that Char is an inspiring writer and just finished her first book.” CeCe said proudly to Skylar.
“Really?” Skylar looked up.
“Well, y
eah. I actually just got my first book deal. CeCe—I haven’t even had a chance to tell you that they are going to publish my book.”
“Wow, that’s wonderful! I know it will be a huge success. Honey, she’s an incredible writer.” CeCe said, bumping Skylar’s arm softly.
“Thanks Ce. I’ll be right back. I have to use the restroom.” I quietly interrupted CeCe and Eric’s conversation.
“Are you feeling okay dear?” Eric reached for my hand.
“Yeah, my stomach’s a bit upset and it’s catching up to me. I’ll be okay.”
“Okay, I’ll keep an eye on Lu.” He smiled, giving my hand a gentle squeeze before letting go.
“You do look a little pale.” CeCe said.
“I’ll be fine.” I said, grabbing my purse before I made my way to the powder room.
I stood hiding around the corner a moment to catch my breath. As I stood there, I heard Skylar say “I bet your mom and dad’s going to love the flower girl dress we got you. It’s pink—Auntie CeCe picked it out.”
“I don’t have a dad—except for God—he’s my daddy my mom told me.”
“That’s right. He’s the best daddy in the world.” CeCe replied before whispering to Skylar, “We don’t really talk about that. Eric is not Lucy’s dad. Char only met Lucy’s dad once and couldn’t get a hold of him. She never heard from him again.”
Feeling a small lump swell up in my throat, I walked down the long hallway towards the living room where the powder room sat adjacent. I opened the door and locked it quickly. I unlatched the window for fresh air and inhaled deeply. I stood still, collecting my thoughts, for a few moments before I pulled out my cell phone. I dialed my home number and waited for it to ring, hoping that Richie was home to help talk me through this.
“Hello?” I heard my mom pick up the phone.
“Hi mom, is Richie there?”
“Yeah, is everything alright?”
“Yeah, I just need to talk to him a minute.”
“Okay, hold on while I get him.”
“Thanks mom. I love you.”
“I love you too dear. Hold on.”
A minute later Richie picked up the phone, “Yello”. He said in a silly southern accent.
“Oh good, Richie, I have a really big problem.”
“Are you pregnant again?”
“No, I’m not pregnant. By the way, I’d throw my shoe at you if I were there right now. I called because I don’t know what to do.”
“About?”
“Are you sitting down?”
“Are you okay?”
“I guess. I feel like throwing up and passing out.”
“Are you sure you’re not pregnant?”
“My shoe is coming through the phone if you say that again.”
“Settle down Betsy.”
“Richie, this is serious.”
“Okay then—what is going on?” He said with a tone of frustration.
“Christian—CeCe’s fiancé.” I could barely get anything else out.
“What about him?”
“Christian is Skylar—my Skylar, Lucy’s dad?”
“What did you say?”
“Christian is…”
He interrupted before I could repeat myself. “I heard what you said I just can’t believe what you said?”
“Richie, I don’t know what to do.” I said, feeling tears build up.
“Did you say anything? Does he remember you?”
“No, of course I didn’t say anything. What was I supposed to say—hi, by the way, my name’s really Char and this is your daughter, Lucy?”
“Yeah, I see your point but it would have made for interesting conversation the rest of the night.”
“Richie, I called you for help not to entertain you.”
“Where are you right now?”
“I’m standing in the bathroom, with my head pressed to the window for some fresh air because I can barely breathe! My heart hurts and I’m angry and confused. Why Richie—I mean how can this be happening to me? I’m a good person—why is the only person I’ve ever loved marrying my best friend? I don’t get it.”
“I don’t know. Maybe CeCe meeting him was the only he could ever make it back to you?”
“His name’s not even Skylar. He never called me and now he’s engaged to my best friend. I thought there was something special but I was just someone for that night.” I said wiping tears carefully away.
“Did he recognize you?”
Suddenly, I heard a light tapping at the door.
“Someone’s outside of the bathroom, I have to let you go.”
“Wait, Char, did he recognize you?”
“Yes, the moment I saw him we both froze.”
“So awkward; I miss all the good stuff.”
“I’ve got to let you go.” I whispered to Richie. “I’ll be out in just a minute.” I called to the person on the other side of the door.”
“Okay, you don’t have to hurry.” I heard Skylar say.
“Oh my goodness Richie—Skylar’s standing outside the bathroom door.” I whispered again.
“Then you are definitely not hanging up on me.”
“Richie, I will tell you all about it later.”
I opened the door and saw Skylar standing there with one side of his lips curled up. His intense blue eyes and damp hair ran goose bumps up my neck.
“Char? Char? Do not hang up on me. Char—just keep the phone on so I can listen!” Richie hollered from the cell phone before I snapped it shut.
“So, it’s not really Lucy?” Skylar smiled.
“I’m not sure—who’s Skylar?”
“Me. It’s my middle name. It’s what I went by before I got into the business world.”
“Really? And the phone number which wasn’t really your phone number?” I asked, feeling a little anger for his coolness.
“I gave you my number—my real number. I can explain what happened too if you let me.”
“Why bother—obviously, you’ve moved on.” I said, feeling the tears fighting to fall.
“I’ve never stopped thinking about you and I tried to find you so many times.”
“Really—you’re marrying my best friend in two days.” I felt a tear slip down my cheek.
“You’re still wearing my sweater.” He said gently, wiping the tear off my cheek.
“It was cold.”
“Cold in June…in Georgia?” He smiled.
“Do you find this funny? I’ve been a single mom working hard to raise my daughter all alone while the man I loved—I thought I loved abandoned me only to return engaged to my best friend.”
“You loved me?” He asked leaning his head down to be closer to my eyes.
“I thought I did but I was so young.” I started to say.
“Mommy, I have to go potty right now.” Lucy said, running into my leg on her way to the bathroom just behind me.
“Lucy, I mean, Char—I need—we need to talk please. You’ve got to let me explain what happened.” He pleaded holding onto my arm. “Please.”
“I have to help her. I really can’t talk right now.”
“Please can we meet somewhere then—maybe tomorrow—or maybe after the Bachelorette party?” He asked with his eyes burning into mine.
“You know that running off with your best friend’s fiancé is a major offense in the south, right?”
“We had something special and you have to know the truth.” He persisted.
“Ahhh, okay; I can pick you up on the corner of Oak and Main—it’s about a block away from here, midnight tomorrow.”
“Thank you.” He smiled as I felt my breath fade away again.
“Mommy!” Lucy insisted again.
“Okay, sweetie, I’ll be right there. “I’ll see you tomorrow Skylar, I mean, Christian.”
“Wait, Charlotte…” Skylar paused, “is Lucy mine?” He asked reaching towards my arm once more.
I hesitated a moment not sure how to answer.
“Is she?”
I nodded yes and turned to help Lucy in the bathroom.
I helped Lucy finish up and we made our way back to the dining room with the rest of the party. Christine and Bev were now talking with CeCe about the spa day planned for all the bridesmaids and mothers of the bride and groom tomorrow. I couldn’t wait to tell Richie about the spa day—he was going to love hearing about a day to get pretty with all the girls. James had planned a day of golfing for all the groomsmen and Sidney, Skylar’s dad. I was feeling nauseated with all the plans. I watched CeCe interact with Skylar and kept a close eye on him as he equally observed my exchanges with Eric. And Eric was nothing more than kind and sweet during all of the evening and seemed clueless to the truth behind my facade. He reached out to hold my hand during dinner and anything that had been there before was nothing more than purely friendship now. My heart ached, watching CeCe revel in her joyous upcoming nuptials with the man my heart knew was the only one I’d ever given it to. I sat making small talk to get through the rest of the evening. Lucy was the most animated I’d seen her in a while and provided entertainment for all. Skylar watched her almost ceaselessly as she bounced around, speaking articulately for a three year old. She warmed the hearts of everyone around the dining table with her smile and humor. I glimpsed over several times to see Skylar grin at her vibrancy.
“I’m so glad to be home and that you got to meet my man.” CeCe said in a funny voice, to me, just before we got ready to leave.
“I’m so glad you’re home too CeCe; I’ve really missed you. Thank you for the dinner invitation.” I smiled faintly. “Your hair is very pretty too.”
“Thanks. Eric has gotten even better looking since Christmas.” CeCe smiled, hitting my shoulder in a playful manner.
“Yeah he has.”
“So, tomorrow we’re going to meet Christine and Bev at the spa. My dad and Christian will drop me off at your house before they go to the clubhouse. You don’t mind driving do you? I figured you, Richie, and I could all drive together from there.” CeCe looked for my consent.
“Ahhh, sure, that’s fine.” I said, hoping that Richie didn’t say anything to our family.
“Perfect, we’ll be over at nine in the morning.” She said, kissing me on the cheek.
“It was a pleasure to meet you.” Skylar said, extending his hand towards Eric’s.
“It was nice to meet you.” Eric smiled. “CeCe you look beautiful and we’re happy for you two.” He continued.
“Thank you Eric.”
“It was really good to finally see you. CeCe’s told me so much about you.” Skylar grinned as he leaned in to hug me goodbye.
I remembered how he held me in his arms so long ago. I never thought I would feel it again and after years of wondering I was not sure if I ever wanted to. But now, face-to-face unexpectedly, I wavered in my angst against him. As his arms wrapped around mine, I could feel the heat from his warm embrace fall over my body. His muscles clinched tightly around me and I felt my body go limp. I straightened up quickly in my moment of weakness and said, “it was nice to finally meet you too Christian.”
“Lucy dear, are you ready to go?” Eric called.
“I’m coming. I just need more hugs first.” She said as she squeezed CeCe’s neck once more.
“I love you Lucy Grace.” CeCe said kissing her rosy red cheeks goodbye.
“See you at nine CeCe.” I said, hugging her goodbye.
“See you Char; we are going to have so much fun the next two days.”
“We sure are.” I smiled, feeling my heart slump down inside my chest.
“Bye guys; drive safely.” Bev called from the foyer.
“Thanks Mrs. Crawford; see you tomorrow.”
Eric helped Lucy out to the car, under his sweater, while the rain continued to beat down. He came back for me next and ushered me to the car, opening my door, and helping me in before running around to the other side. An image of a blurred CeCe and Skylar stood on the front porch arm-in-arm, while they waved goodbye to us. I watched from behind my rain-soaked window view. The rest of the short car ride home Eric and Lucy talked about ‘Auntie CeCe and her Prince Christian’ as Lucy nicknamed him. I sat quietly, listening to them banter about CeCe’s wedding and Lucy’s dress. I had my own conversation waging within me of what to do. No matter what happened, people that I loved, would be hurt. If I remained quiet, I knew I would grow bitter with CeCe and myself. I thought about Eric—he was so good to me. He didn’t deserve to be strung along. If I had never known Skylar he would have been the most perfect choice for me. He was everything that a healthy woman and her parents would want for their daughter. Even if I never told CeCe the truth about Skylar, I couldn’t continue on with Eric. I knew that I couldn’t give him all of me. On the other hand, if I told CeCe, she would be hurt and angry. There was no guarantee that anyone of us would end up happy. Skylar obviously loved CeCe enough to ask her to marry him. I could end up causing strife for a lifelong marriage of doubt and mistrust between them. I wanted the best for my best friend. I just didn’t want it with Skylar. The more I thought about my dilemma the more I became confused and upset. My mind wondered back to CeCe. She had kept things from me once when she thought I’d disapprove of her decision. Did she secretly know that Skylar was Christian? How many guys are named Skylar that have a home somewhere in this area? I remembered him telling me he had a home somewhere near here. How could she not have known? Of course, CeCe only listened to about half of what I ever said. She was somewhat obsessed with herself. I felt a sense of guilt with myself for the last several thoughts. CeCe was my best friend—of course she didn’t know. She was happy in love and completely oblivious of her best friend’s plight. She never did anything out of spite and was happy for Eric and me. That was, unless she was jealous that I started dating Eric—was that it? Did she hunt Skylar down just to bring him back and taunt me with him? My crazy mind was creating all kinds of drama. CeCe wasn’t that kind of person despite my heartache and the delirium that had set in.
“Charlotte, are you okay? You’ve seemed a bit distant tonight.” Eric said as the car rolled to a stop in my parent’s driveway.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I said, trying to push away all the thoughts interrogating my mind.
“I don’t know what happened but I’m pretty sure that you’re just telling me you’re fine so I stop asking about what’s really bothering you right now.”
He leaned in to kiss me. Eric was sweet and kind and everything good. I felt his lips kiss mine, gently, as I pulled back.
“I’m sorry Eric; I’m not being honest with you. I’m not fine but I don’t know what I am right now.”
“Do you want to tell me?”
“I’ve got to get Lucy to sleep. It’s late.” I said, turning around to see her leaning with her head to the side of the car seat.
“She fell asleep a few minutes ago.” He said, looking at me. “It’s okay Char; I want you to be honest with me.”
“You’re so good to me Eric and I don’t deserve you. You deserve a woman who’s going to give you everything you give—back to you.” I said, feeling a heaviness building in my chest.
“What do you mean?” He probed. “Why do I feel like this conversation ends in you breaking up with me?”
I looked at him and saw the ache in his expression. I felt sick for hurting this most wonderful man. “I’m afraid so.”
“Did I do something wrong?” He asked reminding me of the first day he kissed me.
“No, you’ve always done everything right. I’m just not the person who can give you everything that you deserve. You are a wonderful person and I’m very sorry for hurting you.”
“Then if I’m such a wonderful man—what is it Charlotte? Why not me?”
With a tidal wave of tears rushing down, I looked up at him. “It’s Skylar. He’s back.” I said, feeling the sobs caged within my ribs.
“Lucy’s dad?” He asked, appearing confused.
“Yes.”
>
“When?” He focused on me, wiping my tears with the sleeves of his shirt.
“Tonight,” I sniffled.
“Before dinner?”
“No.”
“What?” It took a moment of silence. “Christian?” He asked, leaning back in his seat.
“Yes. Skylar is his middle name. He began using Christian after he finished college.” I said looking at Eric’s broken expression.
“I don’t know what to say Charlotte.” He said peering through the window with the raindrops steadily beating down.
“I’m sorry Eric. I never thought I’d see him again. Especially like this.”
“I guess that explains your upset stomach tonight.”
I stared back speechless. Nothing I could say could help him to feel better right now. “I didn’t expect this. I don’t know what to do but I know I can’t drag you with me while I try to figure it out.”
“Do you love him?” He searched my face.
“I don’t know.”
“Charlotte, when you love someone—you just know. There’s something that’s undeniable—life-changing about that person. You know when they’re the one—you just hope that they feel the same way about you.”
“Eric, I’m so sorry.”
“Did you ever feel that way about me? Before you saw Skylar tonight?” He asked warily.
“I came close to it. You’re the most perfect guy in the world.” I said, reaching for his hand.
“Just not the perfect guy for you though.”
“Eric.” I felt his heartbreak and hated hurting him. “I gave something to Skylar that night that I’ve never been able to get back. I thought I loved him. It wasn’t until I never heard from him that I doubted what I felt. Tonight, on my way back from the bathroom he stopped me. He told me that he felt something special with me too and said he tried to find me many times with no luck.”
“So, why is he marrying your best friend?”
“I can’t deny he doesn’t love her. And I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
“So what are you going to do about it?”
“He asked me to meet him tomorrow night—he wants me to leave early from the Bachelorette party and give him a chance to explain.”
“Are you going to?”
“I have to find out what happened—I need to know. This is the father of my child.”
“You do need to know. But can you trust him?”
“I trusted him once. I need to know the rest of the story.”
“Okay then.” He said. “I just don’t want you to be hurt again if it doesn’t turn out the way you hope it does.”
“I don’t know what I’m hoping for. Honestly, I’ve already hurt you and I don’t want to hurt CeCe and everyone else involved.”
“Charlotte, the hardest choices we make in life are always going to hurt someone. One day we will all look back at the choices we made. Some of us will regret not fighting for what was right in front of us the whole time, while others will pay the price of settling for what life gives them. As much as I didn’t want to hear what you said this evening, I needed to hear it from you.”
“I did tell you that you were perfect, right? And very smart and really handsome, right?”
“Yes, but you can say it again. You kind of kicked the crap out of my self-esteem tonight.” He smiled back.
I reached to touch his cheek and stroke it gently. “Thank you for everything; I really do mean everything.”
“You’re welcome. You’ve only got one life here and if I’m not the one you’re meant to spend it with—then you should go after the one who is.” He said, tenderly grabbing my hand and pressing it in to his lips.
I leaned into his chest and stayed there for the next half hour as the rain drenched the earth all around us. Eric kissed me gently once more before we left the car that evening. Like a gentlemen, true to his character, he carried Lucy in under his jacket and came back for me. I hugged him once more on the porch before I waved goodbye to him hoping I made the right decision. When I walked inside, just after 11 PM, my parents, Grandma Rose, and all of my brothers were waiting up in the living room.
“What is everyone doing up so late?” I asked, surprised by my greeting. “I said you didn’t have to wait up for me.”
“We want to know about Skylar.” My brother Peter said.
“What? Richie, what did you say?”
“Don’t be mad with him. You know you’re brother—he loves you and was concerned.” My mother said.
“And he can’t keep a secret obviously, Richie.” I said shooting him the stink eye.
“Honey, did you talk with him?” Grandma Rose asked.
“Not really. Does everyone need to hear this—don’t some of you have to work early in the morning tomorrow?” I said, eyeballing my brothers who were laid back on the sofas as comfortable as toads on lily pads.
“Yeah, but this is way more interesting than getting sleep.” Edward said.
“Mom, Dad, everyone does not need to hear my crazy story. Please make them go to bed.”
“They’re adults—we can’t make them do anything just like we can’t make you do everything we say.” My dad said.
“Okay, well I’m going to bed. CeCe’s going to be dropped off in the morning, at nine, for the bridal party spa day. Richie—that means you too so you need to get some sleep so you don’t have dark circles. I do not need an entourage tomorrow, please.”
“Honey, you really should talk about this to someone.” My mother persisted.
“I’ve had the craziest night of my life and you want me to regurgitate it all back up? Really?”
“Yes!” Richie chimed in.
“Honey, you can’t just let this go.” Grandma Rose asserted.
“Oh my goodness—you too Grandma?” I asked as they all just sat there waiting for the lights to dim and for some popcorn. “Ughh, so the father of my baby and quite possibly the only person I ever thought I loved who disappeared four years ago came back tonight. My best friend happens to be engaged to him and she’s happier than she’s ever been and has no clue that Christian is my Skylar—and oh yeah, Lucy’s dad. I spoke with him for two minutes in the hallway when I was coming out of the bathroom. He said he needed to talk with me and said that he tried to find me but never could. That’s all I know. I don’t know what happened four years ago. Goodnight.”
“When are you going to talk with him?” My mother asked.
“I’m going to talk with him tomorrow night after the Bachelorette party. If we are done with the questions, I’m going to bed.”
“Don’t be frustrated with us honey we just care about you. This is Lucy’s dad and she deserves a right to know him whether or not we are happy with him.” My mother said.
“That’s if he gets passed my shotgun first.” My father piped up.
“Are you kidding me dad?” I said, shaking my head.
“Nope.” My brothers laughed as my dad responded.
“Thank you for loving me so much—all of you—but right now I just need some sleep. I’ve got to sort this out myself and I have no idea what I’m going to do.” I said before trudging up the stairs.
I slumped down just inside my doorway to hear the mumblings of my family talk about my predicament. Lucy was tucked into her toddler bed beside mine, fast asleep. I sat and listened for the next half hour or so before dosing asleep on the floor.