Chapter 13
I can't say exactly why, but I was hesitant, not wanting to get to school too early—it would be better if someone else found Derrick, I rationalized. I wasn't prepared for the commotion that greeted me. The police were directing traffic away from the school parking lot and I wound up parking near the soccer field along with half the other students. Everyone was in a hurry to get to the school and see what was going on. I rounded the corner of the building and spotted Jason's Jeep, but I didn't see him.
There were three police cars, lights flashing, a fire truck, a wrecker and it looked like an ambulance up on the stadium field. It seemed like an awful lot for just Derrick. Lisa was a short distance away, on my right, and she was babbling on about what she knew or thought she knew. At any rate, she would be the source of all the gossip.
"So like, oh my God, Derrick's car is smashed, like he crashed or something—except there isn't another car. So they totally don't know how. Anyway, so like, when the cops got here they found that Jason boy taping Derrick to the goal post—I so don't know what happened to him, like I guess he freaked when I broke up with him or something. You know I've seen him hanging around those two Emo freaks, especially that new girl."
"Yeah," one of the girls from my History class chimed in, "He talks to her in class."
"Yeah, like what's up with that? It's so totally gross, you know."
"I know, right."
A siren chirped from the field and the ambulance rolled through the gate and headed away from the school.
"Look, there he is."
A collective gasp rose up from the crowd of students.
Jason walked through the gate with two police officers, one on each side. His hands were behind his back and one of the officers was gruffly pushing him along by the arm.
"See," Lisa said, "I told you he did it."
I wanted to call out to him, but that would only fuel Lisa's gossip mill. As it was, Jason never looked up before he was tucked away in the back of one of the police cars, and they drove off. The other police stayed while the wrecker took care of Derrick's car.
"Alright everyone," Mr. Dent shouted through a bull horn. "Lets get to class. The excitement is over."
The kids reluctantly started to drift back toward the school. I found Cathy outside the office.
"What's happening?" I said, "Do they think Jason did it?"
"Yeah," Cathy replied, "but they're crazy. No way just one guy did that to Derrick."
"You don't think Jason had anything to do with it, do you?"
"No, but you can see how the other kids might—him hanging around us and all. I hate it when people jump to conclusions."
"We have to help Jason," I suggested.
Cathy nudged me and nodded toward the kids around us; they were staring. The rest of the day was like that; we seemed to be the target of everyone's suspicion.
While I was worried about Jason, I also knew there was no proof he did it, and Derrick wouldn't remember anything. There was the possibility that Derrick might finger Jason out of spite, but if he did it would look like Jason was tougher. Derrick wouldn't let that happen. It was beginning to look like there was another remote possibility that the other kids might point the finger toward Cathy and I. Maybe I should have put someone in Derrick's mind, but who? And to what end? I hadn't planned this out well enough. Then there was Cathy. She seemed clueless, had she forgotten the same thing happened to her? The answer was obviously yes. I'd seen to it.
I was already anxious—worried about him—so when Jason didn't show up for History, I began to panic. How was it, a day I'd looked forward to with such anticipation had gone so wrong? I managed human speed—just barely—when the final bell rang. Jason's Jeep was still in the parking lot, but he was nowhere to be seen. I didn't want to attract any more attention than I already had, so I slinked off toward the soccer field and my car.
"She's one of them, right?" A boy whispered to the girl he was walking beside.
I got in my car to hide. I just sat there and waited until everyone else had left. Once it was quiet, I drove down to the school lot and parked next to Jason's Jeep. Practices had been cancelled, so the grounds were empty. I felt so helpless, so I got out of the car and went for a walk around the track. It was starting to get dark my twentieth time past the gate.
"Izzy, that you?"
"Coach, what are you doing here?"
"I thought I made myself clear, I don't want you out here alone, Izzy."
"I'm frustrated. The kids are blaming Jason for what happened to Derrick. It's not fair."
"No, it's not, and they know it couldn't have been one person. Heck, Jason's a good kid and even if he wasn't, he's new to the area. I don't think I've seen him hanging out with anyone except Alex—and you, of course." He seemed to notice my reaction. "You and Jason an item?"
"Coach!" If I could have blushed, I would have.
"I'm sorry, none of my business, just trying to figure out who Jason's friends are."
"We're friends—both new to the area and all like you said."
"That's good. Figure he's going to need all the friends he can get now."
"You've heard from him?"
"No, but you and I both know he didn't do this. I imagine when all's said and done, we'll find out he was trying to help Derrick. Mind what I'm saying young lady, I don't want to see you out here alone again, got it?"
"Yes, sir."
"Alright, let me walk you back to your car."
I hesitated.
"Izzy, don't force me to call your parents." He closed the gate behind us and we started toward the school. As we neared the parking lot, a dark colored sedan came up the hill. It stopped next to Jason's Jeep and when the door opened, the interior light illuminated Jason and his mother.
"Jason," I gasped and glanced up at the coach.
"Go on, see your fella."
I ran down the walkway being careful not to go too fast and burst into the light. "Jason!"
He looked up as he got out of the car, his face registering surprise, but he didn't say anything.
"Are you alright?"
Whatever was holding him back, suddenly vanished and he raced forward and took me in his arms. It was my turn to be shocked, but it was wonderful. He stepped back, his hands tracing down my arms until we were holding hands. His warmth pulsed up my arms in waves of delight.
"What are you doing out here?" he whispered.
"I was worried about you. I can't believe they—"
He shook his head to stop me. "Mom." He dropped my hands, slipped one arm around my waist and steered me toward the driver's side of the car.
Mrs. Whitaker rolled down the window.
"Mom, this is Izzy. We're going out, at least we were until—"
"We still are," I agreed.
"Going out?" Mrs. Whitaker puzzled.
"Yeah Mom, dating?"
"Oh." Surprise resonated in her voice. She probably thought I wasn't good enough for him.
"She might be coming around now and then, if that's alright."
"Yes, of course." Her congenial response was far from convincing.
A figure appeared to my right.
"Coach," Jason said, "what are you doing here?"
"Heard Derrick's foot was broken—"
"Coach, I didn't have anything to—"
"I know. I figured you were trying to help."
"See, I told you they'd understand," Mrs. Whitaker said. "The poor boy was suffering from exposure. The police said he'd probably been out there all night. Can you imagine?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. Mom, this is Coach Singleton. Coach, Mom."
"Pleased to meet you ma'am."
"Thank you. I've heard a lot of nice things about you."
"Well, that's kind of you to say. Your boy works real hard. Given the circumstances, looks like he's going to get his shot at starting next week." He turned to Jason, "You think you're up for it?"
Perfect, I thought, exactly like I'd hoped. Jason wa
s going to get his start. He'd be brilliant, and he'd know his dad was proud of him.
"I don't know."
"What?" I gawked. Everyone looked over at me.
"Won't that just fuel the fire?" Jason continued. "The whole school probably thinks I'm responsible; and if I get Derrick's spot, well, that will just confirm it."
"But you didn't do it," I pointed out.
"You're a better quarterback than the other guy," Coach said, "but I can see your point."
"No," I complained. "That's not how it's supposed to be."
"It would help if the police caught whoever did it before the next game." Mrs. Whitaker interjected.
"Not sure we can count on that," Coach grumbled, "they never caught the culprits that did it to Cathy."
"Cathy?" Jason questioned.
"Probably shouldn't have said that," Coach replied. "The students don't know about that one. It happened just before her freshman year. Poor thing, it really traumatized her. Lot of rumors about some of the football players, but nobody could put two and two together and like I said, poor Cathy was so shaken up, she wasn't much help."
Jason looked at me curiously, like he was running through the improbable scenario where I was Cathy's avenging angel.
"At any rate, the team needs you son. As much as it pains me to say it, I know there is more to life than football." Coach looked over to Mrs. Whitaker, "Nice to meet you ma'am, Jason's a great kid." Coach nodded to everyone and then headed toward the school.
"Mom, see you at home?"
Mrs. Whitaker smiled. "Okay, but don't be too long. It was nice to meet you Izzy."
"Same here." I waved.
She rolled up her window and backed out, the glare from the headlights washing over us. Jason and I stood there motionless for a moment, his eyes trying to adjust to the sudden darkness. When they did, he took my hand and turned toward me.
"I'm so sorry," I apologized.
"For what? It's not like you had anything to do with this." His tone had an edge of suspicion.
"You should be the quarterback." I changed the subject. "Isn't that what you wanted, what your father wanted?"
"Yeah, but not this way. It seems so cheesy. I wanted to earn it not have it handed to me."
"You can earn it by what you do on the field. Don't you see?"
Jason shivered. "You must be freezing," he said, realizing I was only wearing jeans and a tee shirt. "Want my coat?"
I let go of his hand. "No, I should really get home."
"Yeah, me too. Mom's pretty freaked out. Guess I'll see you tomorrow." He walked me to my car and held the door while I climbed in behind the wheel.
"About tomorrow," I hedged, "Lisa started all kinds of rumors and—"
"Figures, but I don't really care—"
"Let me finish. Cathy and I are like the center of suspicion now. The kids think we know something, so I want you to stay away from us."
"You're kidding, right?"
"No. I want you to take the quarterback position and show everyone how good you really are, just leave me and Cathy out of it."
"You know I can't do that."
"I'm not giving you a choice."
"What are you going to do, run away—" He stopped suddenly. "You can't. Okay, I'll keep my distance for now, but on one condition."
"What's that?"
"You still meet me after practice."
I didn't want to stop seeing him, even though I'd made a total mess of things, so I agreed. "Okay, but not at school. The soccer field, the one behind the school, it's more secluded." He waited until I backed out and then followed me to Main Street where we parted. Despite my intentions, I had made quite a mess of things, but at least Jason was going to get his chance at quarterback.
I was surprised to see Derrick at school the next day, but he ignored Cathy and I when we walked past. He was telling Lisa how lucky he was, that the doctor's said it was some kind of miracle how his ankle stayed in place. They had totally expected to have to put pins in it, but as it was already set, they just cast it. Now that Derrick was back, the rumors quieted.
Jason did as I asked and kept his distance. I felt hurt, but knew it was of my own doing and for the best. By lunch, the suspicion shifted from Cathy and I to the rival school across town. As Derrick and the football players saw it, we didn't have a chance with him sidelined. Cathy and I met out front after school.
"So, like do we always wear black?" she asked.
"I guess."
"Do we have to? I mean, I don't mean to offend you or anything like that, but—"
"Let me get this straight, you don't want to wear black?" I gawked.
"I mean, we don't have to wear pastels or anything like that, but a little color wouldn't hurt, would it?"
"I guess, but I don't have—"
"Yeah, same with me. I was going though my closet and everything is the same, navy, gray, shades of purple, and black. Hey, I know, how about we go shopping this weekend."
"For clothes."
"Yeah, it'll be fun."
"Okay, I guess."
"Hey," Cathy said in a more serious tone, "what's wrong with Jason?"
"What do you mean?"
"You kidding? He's avoiding us like we have the plague."
"Yeah, about that, see I told him he had to stay away."
"Because of the other kids? But I thought you didn't care—"
"It was just a mistake."
"A mistake? You and Jason a mistake?" Her tone was incredulous.
"Yeah, well you know, high school crushes, here today gone tomorrow. Listen, I have to run," I said, wanting to avoid any further discussion about Jason.
"Sure, I'll see you tomorrow."
By the time I got to my car, the team was already out on the field. Derrick wasn't hard to pick out with his crutches. Most of the boys were warming up, but Derrick's crew was gathered around him. I didn't like the looks of it. I'd agreed to meet Jason, but hanging around to watch practice—in plain view—wasn't part of the deal. Jason looked over when I started my car and drove off. I thought about driving home and returning on foot. That would be hard to explain, so I doubled back and parked under the pines near the soccer fields. The sun set earlier now and soon the tall pines cast dark shadows across the lush, green grass. I was going crazy cooped up in my car, so I found a nice place in the grass near the tree line and lye down to think.
In the distance, I could hear the coach occasionally bark out orders, but he was on the edge of my range so I couldn't really make out what was being said. I rolled over on my side and stared into the woods. This was my home, not the human world. Sure, I was coping in their world, but I didn't belong. It was just a matter of time before some trivial incident made me snap and I tore into someone. As things stood, that someone would probably be Jason. "I love you," I mouthed to the trees, "but we're from two different worlds." Those words hurt, like a stake through my heart, but there was no denying the truth. No matter what I thought I felt, or what Jason felt, our path was not the same.
I began to think about what little I knew about my past, and once again I picked out the outline of those mountains in the underbrush. What was it that made this particular image keep coming back? It was twilight now, my favorite time of day. I rolled over and stared up into the tranquil, lavender sky.
"Izzy!"
I jerked up. Jason was standing in front of his Jeep, and I never heard it pull up. That was supposed to be impossible with my keen senses and all. I got up and met him halfway across the field.
"How long have you been here?" he said.
"Since school let out."
He shook his head. "Izzy, you can't keep doing this, it could be dangerous." He stared into my eyes. "But you don't care, why is that?"
"I'm not afraid."
"But you should be. I don't think I could ever forgive myself if something happened to you. I've lost too much, my dad, my friends, my self respect."
"Because you're here, with me?"
"N
o." He turned his back on me. "You're the one piece of my life that fits."
"I'm not."
He turned back and took my hands. "Yes you are." His eyes reflected the same wonder I felt. As if it could have been any more perfect, a light fog began to drift down across the field. This was my heaven.
"Stay very still and turn your head slowly to the left," he whispered.
A few yards into the woods, a large buck stood motionless, eyeing us carefully.
"Do you see it?"
"Yes." But I was amazed Jason could. I glanced back at him and his eyes were sparkling in the faint light, his gaze locked on the deer. Suddenly the deer bolted and ran off deeper into the woods. "I guess we spoiled his dinner."
"You really saw him?" Jason said, as if he didn't believe me.
"Yes, it was a buck, maybe ten points."
"You hunt—of course not, what am I saying? Girls don't hunt."
"Do you?" I pondered, intrigued by the idea we both hunted.
"Kind of."
"How do you kind of hunt?"
"With a camera, now. Dad and I used to hunt elk, mule deer, stuff like that. He always said nothing to waste, so that's what we did."
"What did you do with the blood?"
"The blood?"
I shrugged. "It was a stupid question—it just popped out."
"Not really into the killing part so much since Dad's gone." He gently turned me toward the forest. "You like that?" He panned his hand across the scene.
"Yes, it's beautiful." I looked up into his eyes. "Want to do one of my favorite things?"
"Sure." He looked puzzled.
"Okay, follow me." I ran off through the waist deep fog leaving swirling plumes behind. Jason pursued until I let him catch up and pass me. We zigged and zagged until he finally led me into the thick bank of fog near the pines.
"I meant it," Jason said, "we belong together." He eased up next to me, taking one of my hands while wrapping his other around my waist. The fog was so thick, there was nothing but our faces.
"I meant what I said," I answered. Being outdoors did more than I'd anticipated and I felt very much in control.
"Trust me?" Jason panted, his rapid breath washing over me.
"Yes." I let him pull me closer.
When his face came into focus through the fog, his eyes were mere slits. His head tilted to the side and our lips touched. He kissed me, then eased back until his lips were just brushing mine. "You okay?"
I pressed forward until our lips touched again. The fire, his fire spread across my face with such intensity I was struck with awe. Another fire erupted, not the thirst I feared, but the one deep inside. It fanned out so quickly it staggered me. Jason eased back.
"Easy," he whispered in my ear.
The sudden change in temperature caused the fog to condense on my skin, sending tiny beads of water cascading down my face. When I opened my eyes, Jason's face was just as wet. The kiss irrevocably changed things. I'd convinced myself I had to give him up, but that was impossible now.
Jason opened his eyes and stared longingly into mine.
"What?"
He pulled his ear-buds from around his neck, pushed one into his ear and the other into mine—it was a slow song. He gently lifted my hand and turned me under his arm. When I completed the turn, he wrapped his arms around my waist and we rocked from side-to-side.
"Dancing?" I questioned.
"Na," he said, "I don't dance."
I rested my head on his shoulder and we rocked until the song was over. When it finished, I pulled out the ear-bud and draped it around his neck. I eased back and looked up into his incredibly beautiful face. "What was that you were saying about your self respect?"
"It doesn't matter, not now."
"Please, it does to me."
He turned away and mumbled. "The guys won't catch."
"What?"
"Yeah, I let you talk me into doing this, and it's all for nothing. The guys all have butterfingers."
So that's what Derrick was telling them. It seemed shallow even for them, that they'd lose to the cross-town rivals for Derrick's ego. "I'm sorry." I reached up to his shoulder and turned him back toward me.
"It doesn't matter, not now. I'm going to sit with you and Cathy tomorrow."
"No, you promised."
"But I thought—"
"Deal's a deal, nothing's changed as far as school goes."
I heard the crunch of gravel just before a pair of headlights appeared under the pines. The car stopped when they lit up our cars. Jason and I both froze. Suddenly the flashing red and blue lights of a police cruiser illuminated the fog with harsh intensity. An officer got out of the car and directed a searchlight across the field. It didn't take him long to spot us. He spoke into a microphone that amplified his scratchy cadence. "The Park closes at sunset."
"Shall we?" Jason said, offering me his hand.
"Yeah." We walked toward the light hand-in-hand.