Darkness filled the room. I listened as Mom said goodnight to Chloe and went back to bed. I waited for a few minutes, before pulling out the iPad and messaging Chloe.
Me: Are you there?
Chloe: So what's your big plan?
I exhaled, and began typing. "I was thinking you would wheel me up to the lunch table Monday and I would stand up and take Kurt's phone and tell him to tell everyone how the accident really happened." It had seemed like an excellent idea, but looking at it on the screen made it seem small-insignificant.
Chloe: That's your part. Let me do the rest. Practice walking and talking and rest up.
Me: What are you talking about?
Chloe: Don't you worry your disabled self. Operation Destroy Kurt is on.
Me: What do you mean?
I waited for five minutes. Nothing.
Me: Chloe?
Still nothing.
Me: Hello?
She didn't answer. My quaint little plan was taking on a life of it's own and I wasn't sure what to make of it.
***
Since Chloe knew about my recovery, acting paralysed became even harder, but she didn't act any different the next morning. Everything was business as usual, until Chloe asked Mom if she could push me to our pew at church.
Mom's voice was filled with pleasure behind me. "Of course. I think Zoey will really like that."
We attended a church that looked older than the Bible, complete with stained glass windows and a huge pipe organ, which took up the front of the church. A piano played quietly off to the side of the pulpit and traditional pews lined either side of a long aisle, making our church one of the favourites to get married in.
Kurt and Amanda were standing beside the third pew from the front, opposite where my parents usually sat. Amanda was wearing a skirt short enough for a brothel and a top that left nothing to the imagination. I told myself not to judge, since church really shouldn't be about externals.
Chloe picked up speed halfway down the aisle. Even without looking behind me, I knew she was up to something. We were headed straight for Kurt who had his back to us. I wanted to tell Chloe to slow down, to move or call out, but I couldn't give away the game. My ears buzzed as the image of crashing into the tree flashed into my mind. I closed my eyes, hoping Chloe would slow down and swerve into our pew.
A few seconds later, Chloe called out, "Kurt." I opened my eyes in time to see him turn before Chloe slammed my wheelchair into his legs. The safety belt kept me from falling out, but my feet fell from the footrests and my head flicked forward. Chloe rushed around to return me to my original position, while still brandishing her mobile.
"I'm so sorry, Kurt," she said, fixing my head and placing my feet in the stirrups. "I was just checking Facebook and I didn't notice you there. Are you okay?"
She rose from the floor to meet his gaze.
"I'm fine," he said, his face flushed.
"Gawd, you should be more careful," Amanda snapped, flicking her hair over her shoulder. "You could have hurt someone."
Chloe cocked her head. "I guess I shouldn't use my phone when I'm supposed to be paying attention to my surroundings. My bad. I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me Kurt." Her words came out so genuine; I could hardly believe it was my sister saying them.
"It's no problem," Kurt said, stepping back.
"You're bleeding," Amanda huffed, pointing to a small red stain spreading on the shin of Kurt's pants.
Chloe covered her mouth with her hand. "I'm so sorry. Here I'm sure mom must have a bandaid here somewhere." She started rooting around in the bag that hung from the back of my wheelchair. "Here." Chloe handed him a skin-toned bandaid. "I think Mom uses these when she has to change the feeding bag from Zoey's left arm to her right."
Kurt held his hands up in refusal. "I'm fine, there's no need for the bandaid."
"Are you sure?" Chloe asked sweetly.
"What's going on here?" Dad asked, his voice hard as steel.
"Nothing," Kurt said, his face testing all the shades of the awkward colour wheel. "We were just about to sit down." He grabbed Amanda's hand and pulled her toward the front pew. Dad wheeled me to the opposite side of the church, and Chloe fell in beside me.
"Don't ever talk to those people Chloe," Dad said. The cold in his voice made my blood freeze in my veins. He parked my wheelchair at the end of the pew and walked past me without seeing me.
Chloe shrugged, and sat beside me. "Sorry Dad." She typed on her phone, holding it at an angle so that only she and I could see the screen.
Stage one of Destroy Kurt complete.
***
Despite trying to Snapchat, Skype, Facebook and text Chloe, it wasn't till Sunday after lunch that I finally got to talk to her. She asked mom if she could take me for a walk in the woods behind our house, and after much negotiation and a long list of instructions we finally left the house and followed the broad fire track into the woods.
My wheel chair bounced on the dusty road used by emergency vehicles during forest fire season. A green canopy of leaves kept the burning sun at bay. Birds flitted across the track collecting food for their spring chicks. Chloe pushed my wheelchair off the main road down a winding track, which led to a small open space beside the creek. It was a spot which few people frequented, because only the local kids who played there knew about it. Our family had shared many picnics in the quiet clearing when I'd been younger.
With summer fast approaching it was full of white, pink, yellow and lilac wild flowers. Chloe parked the wheel chair and spread out a picnic blanket on the grass.
"Here," she offered me her hand. "We're safe here. Let me help you sit a little more comfortably."
I took her hand and stepped out of the chair and slowly moved to the rug. It looked so inviting, I imagined lying on it and looking up at the clouds, but common sense took over. "I don't think I can get up if I sit down there."
Chloe shrugged. "I'll help you."
"I don't know if I can get down there without hurting myself or ripping out my crap sack."
My sister wrinkled her nose. "That is disgusting. Sit back in your chariot."
I wanted to sit on the rug and run my fingers through the grass, but I wasn't strong enough. The future held plenty of picnics; just be patient. I settled back into the wheel chair.
The warm breeze created ripples on the surface of the water. "This is beautiful," I said, taking a deep breath.
Chloe shrugged. "It's a place where no one would think to look for us, and we can have our privacy as there is only one way in and not many people know about it."
"When did you become so sneaky?"
"About the same time you became veggie-capable." She sat down on the blanket, stretching out her legs in front of her and leaning on her arms so that her face was pointing at the sky.
"Ha-ha, you're a regular comedian."
The right corner of her lip curled ever so slightly.
"So if smashing into Kurt's shins was stage one of your plan, what is stage two of Destroy Kurt?" I asked, warily.
A full smile curled across Chloe's lips, as her gaze met mine. "Did you see his face? It was gold."
"I don't know if knee capping him is justice."
"Justice. Justice? This is not about justice. This is about restitution. Kurt owes us." Chloe's eyes flashed, as she glared at me. "Do you know what we've been through? You died. They brought you back, but you died.
"Mom died too. We don't have a mother anymore. She died in the hospital beside you. You have a nurse-maid, and I ? " She drew a ragged breath. "I have nothing, but the memories of what it was like before my whole family died."
I leaned forward to be closer to her. "We're not dead."
She shook her head. "You have no idea. Mom spends all her time caring for you and researching on the internet how to get you better. Dad is never home anymore. He says he needs to work long hours so that they can afford your medicine and stuff, but he just doesn't want to be at home. He's gutted
that you were smoking Kurt's pole leading up to the accident ?"
"I wasn't."
"I know that, but no one else does. So anyway, Dad just doesn't want to be home. Seeing you ? well ? no offence ? it's pretty damn depressing. You should be going to school and getting ready for prom and graduation, instead you just sit in that chair like an unanimated Larry the Cucumber."
"So is that why you're looking Goth?"
She exhaled causing the flowers near her feet to sway. "It was mostly to get attention. I live in a house full of ghosts of our former family. Everyone pretending to be happy and okay, when Dad wishes that mom had let him pull the plug on you so that he won't be reminded daily of your mistakes."
I squeezed the armrest, furious. "I can't believe Dad is so shallow ? and Kurt ? damn Kurt and damn Junior ?" My anger was so fierce I couldn't string together a sentence.
"You know, I used to wish that Dad would cheat on Mom, give them both an excuse to end the sham of a marriage." She shook her head. "Don't worry. We're going to get our parents back. We'll clear your name and Kurt and Junior will pay for their misdeeds. Mr. Tyrol has agreed to take you pro-bono and he'll have the records for tomorrow. Although I like the idea of waiting till next month, and letting Kurt suffer ?"
"I can't." I shook my head. "I need to recover. While I get you've had it tough ? Mom has been giving me sponge baths and I pee through a catheter ? and don't get me started about the crap sack ? I don't need a mirror to see I look like an anorexia prevention poster. My neck is killing me from constantly keeping it on an angle. No. This has to end tomorrow."
Chloe jutted out her lower lip. "Fine. Do you know any of your friend's Facebook log-ins?"
It was a random question, the more time I spent with my sister the less I felt like I knew her. "I used to know Kurt's and Anna's, but that was a long time ago. Why?"
"I just wanted to get Kurt sweating." She grinned and pulled her phone from her pocket. "So what was Kurt's?"
"What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to leave a message on his status. Something like, I know you were texting. Or I know your secret. I haven't quite figured it out yet, but I want to do it soon, so he can agonize about it all night-see if you gave me a month ?"
"Not going to happen."
"It'd be awesome if I could log into Junior's account and send the messages from him. But I don't suppose you have his log-in details?"
I shook my head. "Why don't you just make a copy of Junior's profile and send a message. You only have to copy his profile pic and his first few posts and then message Kurt."
"Huh." Her lips stretched into a broad smile.
"What?"
"You're not as brain damaged as I thought."
"Hilarious," I said sarcastically.
Chloe tapped away on her phone, while I looked up at the clouds and basked in the warmth of the sun. I rehearsed in my mind standing up and wrenching Kurt's phone out of his hands and declaring, "How did the accident happen Kurt? Tell everyone the truth, or do you want me to show them the text message?"
He'd pale, and stutter out the truth while the whole school watched. He would know the humiliation my family had been subjected to. Amanda would break up with him and he would punch Junior.
"It's done," Chloe announced, triumphantly. "Stage two: completed."
I smiled at her enthusiasm, grateful for the support. "Tomorrow I'll complete stage three and our family can stop being shadows of our former selves."
***
My palms were sweating as I sat at the school lunch table waiting to confront Kurt. Chloe had insisted I wait for her signal. She sat at the table across from me, where I could see her clearly, even with my skewiff neck. I couldn't wait to hold my head up straight.
The food court was alive with conversation, but Kurt's table was silent. Junior sat on the bench farthest from Kurt, who occasionally glared at his friend.
Chloe had messaged Kurt with Junior's fake profile, "It's time to tell the truth."
Kurt had responded immediately: It was your idea. I can't believe this ?
Junior: If you don't, I will.
Kurt: What the hell? You are the worst friend of all time. You were the one who said it. You'll be liable for aiding and abetting. You hooked up with Amanda and then dumped her on me because you don't want to make the commitment and now you're trying to make me take the fall for your lie. You are a festering boil on the face of humanity. Get bent, I'll deny everything.
"What are you not answering now? Typical. You are a coward and a pathetic human being."
Chloe hadn't written anything else, but the message had achieved its purpose, Kurt was miserable. That made me want to smile. Soon enough I could smile, laugh, walk-live. I would live again.
Kurt was curled in a ball three seats down from me, playing on his phone. Amanda had her arm over his back, and Anna was sitting closest to me nibbling on a salad sandwich.
"So is there a reason no one is talking?" Anna asked, looking up and down the table.
"Why don't you ask him," Junior indicated to Kurt. "He tried to punch me this morning."
Kurt looked up from his phone. "If I'd wanted to punch you, you'd be bruised." He pushed Amanda's arm off. "Stop cramping my space." He went back to whatever was on his phone.
"Alrighty then," Anna said, getting back to her sandwich. "I'll chalk it up to male PMS."
"Why would you say that?" Junior snapped. "If I'd ? "
Chloe stood up and coughed loudly-the cue. My pulse raced, and dots danced before my eyes for a moment. I took a calming breath and stood to my feet and picked up Junior's phone sitting on the table in front of him and ripped Kurt's phone from his grasp. Maybe I didn't need the phones for evidence, but it made me feel better to hold onto something.
"Hey," he protested, but the words died on his lips when his gaze met mine.
"H...H...How did the accident happen Kurt?" I got the words out around the boulder in my throat.
"Oh snap," Junior mumbled.
Chloe appeared at the end of the table, a smug smile on her black lips.
"Zoey?" Anna whispered. "You're standing ? and talking."
I continued to look into Kurt's eyes. His jaw hung open as though the hinge had broken.
"Aren't you going to answer me Kurt?" I asked.
He closed his mouth, and it swung open again, the process repeated a few times before he licked his lips.
"You were giving him head," Junior offered.
"Shut up Junior, you know that's a lie," I snapped, not taking my eyes off Kurt. "Tell them the truth."
"What is she talking about?" Anna demanded.
"She has brain damage," Amanda rolled her eyes, "as if she even remembers."
"Tell them," I told Kurt. "Or I'll show them the text."
"You didn't delete it? You're on your own fool," said Junior, holding his hands up in surrender.
"You were texting when the accident happened?" Anna screeched.
Kurt looked around the table, his eyes glazed. He stared toward the cafeteria doors, but I didn't want to know what had his attention. It didn't matter who he was looking at, all I wanted was to hear his confession, to see the words fall from on his lips.
"I was texting when I had the accident. Zoey wasn't giving me a blow job," said Kurt.
"Crud." My gaze followed Kurt's. Standing behind Junior's side of the bench was Sheriff Leaman, my lawyer and Mom. I hadn't even noticed them, that was what Chloe had been waiting for. "You're under arrest son. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say, can and will be held against you in a court of law." Sheriff Leaman walked around the table to handcuff Kurt, his thin face and bushy brows scowling.
"I knew it. I asked you if it was true," Anna yelled at Kurt, her graceful hands gesturing fiercely. "I asked you ? I comforted you ? I told you how Zoey was doing ? You victim blamed her ? You slut shamed her memory ? You ? You ?" She grabbed the milkshake on her tray and threw it in his face. The beverage dribbled down his
face as Sheriff Leanman pulled Kurt's hands behind his back to cuff him. "I hope the inmates pass you around like a peace pipe," Anna yelled. She turned to Junior. "And you. I know you had something to do with this. You're dumped. Eat crap and die."
Anna grabbed me in a savage bear hug. "I'm glad you're back."
As Anna pulled away, Mom's arms came around me. Mom's sobs echoed through the silent cafeteria, as the students observed the drama.
Kurt's panicked voice called over Mom's sobs. "I'm sorry Zoey. I'm ?"
Mr. Tyrol interjected, "Please don't address my client unless it is through me. We have a restraining order that prevents you from speaking to her or being within one hundred yards of Miss Saunders." The lawyer reminded me of Clark Kent, with his too big suit and thick black rimmed glasses.
Kurt hung his head as Sheriff Leaman, a.k.a, Captain Seaman to the high schoolers, led him out of the cafeteria.
Mom continued to wail and hug me, till I said, "Mom I can't stand anymore." She released me and I sat down in the wheelchair.
"Mrs. Saunders," Mr. Tyrol said to mom, his voice soothing. "We need to talk about the case. How about I meet you at your home in an hour?"
Mom swiped at her eyes and nodded. "I'll call my husband." She took hold of the wheelchair's handles. "Chloe, come with us please."
Mom wheeled me out of the cafeteria followed by Chloe, Mr. Tyrol and Anna. I expected to feel jubilant, justice had been served, the truth had been revealed.
But it felt empty.
People whispered at their tables as I was wheeled past them. Kurt's panicked eyes haunted me. Mom's sobbing resounding in my ears even though she'd stopped.
I'd achieved what I thought I wanted, why didn't it feel awesome?
***
Mom had only driven a few miles from school when she pulled over on the side of the road. "How long has this been going on?" She asked eye balling Chloe and me. The disappointment in her eyes almost brought me to tears.
"I found out Friday night," Chloe said, unable to look mom in the eyes.
She nodded, pursing her lips. "And you?"
I met mom's gaze. There were green flecks in her blue eyes I'd never noticed before. The last time she'd been this mad at me I couldn't look in her eyes, but I didn't want to look away. It was glorious to look into someone's eyes and talk-I'd missed out on communicating for so long I was willing to be the weirdo who held eye contact too long.