Alex sighed and then suddenly looked very seriously into her eyes. “I’m not acting very gracious, am I?”
“No,” she admitted, “but I really don’t care. I’m just so happy that you want to marry me.”
“I haven’t said yes yet, you know.”
Emma scowled.
“But I will, I suppose, if given the proper encouragement.”
“And what would that be, your grace?”
Alex looked heavenward in mock innocence. “Oh, I don’t know. A kiss would do rather well to start with.”
Emma leaned forward, propping her hands on the arms of his chair. “You’re going to have to cooperate,” she murmured, feeling extraordinarily daring now that he had accepted her proposal.
Alex leaned down, his hands covering hers. “By all means.”
He stopped suddenly, his mouth achingly close to hers. “Oh, Alex,” Emma sighed, lifting her lips that last half an inch. Ever so gently, she brushed her mouth against his, marveling in the thought that this was the very first kiss she’d initiated and thinking that it must be the sweetest of all for that very reason.
“I’m so very glad I thought to close the door,” Alex said, smiling as he nuzzled her neck. “Although…” His words trailed off as he reluctantly turned his head away from Emma and twisted his neck until he was facing the parlor door. “Smithers!” he yelled abruptly. “Get your ear away from that door! You’ve heard everything you wanted to hear! Now be gone with you!”
“Right away, sir,” was the muffled reply.
Emma could not help but laugh as she heard footsteps disappear down the hall and up the stairs.
“He’s been trying to get me to settle down for years,” Alex explained. “Now where were we?”
She smiled seductively. “I think we were about to move over to the sofa.”
Alex groaned. He hoped Emma had no plans for a long engagement. He rose from his chair, pulled her to her feet and then off her feet, only to set her down on the sofa. “Oh, darling,” he murmured as he sat beside her. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“You just saw me three days ago.”
“That doesn’t mean I didn’t miss you.”
“I missed you, too,” Emma said shyly. “When I wasn’t working myself into a frenzy of nerves about coming here today.”
“I’m most happy you did.” Alex brushed his lips against hers again, this time deepening the kiss with his tongue, running it along the smooth line of her teeth. When she let out a soft sigh, he took advantage of the moment, pressing in further, drinking her in, tasting her sweetness.
“I’m so glad marriage lasts a lifetime,” Emma said softly against his lips. “Because I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of your kisses.” She drew slightly away from him, placing her hand on his cheek. “You make me feel so beautiful.”
“You are beautiful.”
“It is very kind of you to say so, but red hair is hopelessly out of fashion, and besides, it would be impossible for anyone to look as lovely as I feel right this moment.”
Alex gazed tenderly down at her face. Her clear, fine skin was flushed rosy pink with desire, and her eyes were wide and sparkling, framed by the longest lashes he’d ever seen. And her lips, oh Lord, they had never looked quite so pink before, nor so full. “Then you must feel very lovely, Emma. Because I’ve never seen anything in my life as exquisite as you are right now.”
Emma felt a warm glow take over her body. “Oh, Alex, please kiss me again.”
“Gladly, my love.” Placing his hands on her cheeks, he pulled her face to his. Emma offered no resistance at all, and his tongue immediately dipped into her mouth, stroking her soft flesh. Emma shyly followed suit, curiously exploring him in the same manner.
Alex thought that her hesitant caresses would be the death of him, he was so eager for more. He pulled her to him passionately, pressing her body intimately against his own, his hands roving uncontrollably.
Emma moaned with pleasure, barely able to believe the shivering tremors of joy that shot through her body. And then just when she thought she could take no more, Alex placed his hand on her breast, squeezing it ever so slightly. It felt like a fire had burned right through the fabric of her dress, searing her skin, branding her as his future wife. She was slowly losing control; all she could think about was getting as close to him as possible, touching him everywhere.
Just as Emma hovered at the brink of losing herself completely, Alex pulled himself away reluctantly, very reluctantly. “Darling,” he said, summoning chivalry he’d never dreamed existed, “I’m going to stop now, before we get to the point when I cannot. Do you understand?”
She nodded tremulously.
“I want our wedding night to be perfect. At that moment, you will belong to me in every way.”
“And you will belong to me,” Emma said softly.
He dropped a gentle kiss on her lips. “Yes, I will. It will be the most beautiful moment of our lives, I promise you that, and I don’t want to spoil it in any way. Now, if you don’t mind, I think I would like to put my arms around you and hold you for a few moments before I’m forced to send you back home.”
Emma nodded again, unable to find words to express the emotions coursing through her. She had never dreamed it was possible for a woman to feel as utterly full of joy as she did right then. Dimly she realized that he hadn’t yet said that he loved her, but then, neither had she, and that didn’t diminish her feelings for him in any way. Besides, she could sense his love, feel it, almost touch it. Over the past few months she had come to know Alex quite well. He couldn’t hold her like this if he didn’t love her at least a little bit. And in time, she knew he would say the words. Perhaps she’d even work up the courage to tell him first. How difficult could that be? She’d already asked him to marry her. Nothing could be scarier than that, and she had come through it just fine. But she’d have to put off talk of love. For now, she was content just to rest in his arms. She’d found a home there.
After a few minutes, Alex knew that he was going to have to take Emma home. She had said that Ned had escorted her to his front door—Alex didn’t even want to guess what Emma had done to convince her cousin to bring her here. Nonetheless, he knew that Ned would come for her if she remained overlong, and if that happened, the entire Blydon family might get involved. All hell would break loose. Everyone would be appeased, of course, once informed of their impending nuptials, but Alex thought that it would not be a rather auspicious beginning to their lives together.
And so, with great regret, Alex nudged Emma’s shoulder. “Wake up, my love. I’m afraid I’m going to have to take you home.”
“I wish you didn’t have to.”
“Believe me, love, I wish I didn’t have to either, but the last thing we want is your entire family descending on us.”
Emma yawned and slowly extricated herself from Alex’s arms. “I despise reality.”
Alex chuckled. “How does next week sound?”
“How does next week sound for what?”
“Our marriage, you ninnyhead.”
“Next week? Are you mad?”
“Obviously.”
“Alex, there is no way I can plan a wedding by next week.” Then Emma remembered that the entire point of her proposing to him was that she needed to marry right away.
But Alex had already given in. “Two weeks, then.”
“All right,” she said slowly. “Aunt Caroline is going to have a fit of the vapors. She’ll want a lavish affair, I’m sure.”
“Do you want a lavish affair?”
Emma smiled up into his eyes. “I really don’t care,” she sighed. All she really wanted was Alex. Although, now that she thought about it, she’d always dreamed of a beautiful gown, of gliding down an aisle to meet her future. “A week from Saturday,” she said quickly, hoping that she could find a dressmaker willing to work under such time constraints.
“Very well. I’m going to hold you to that date.”
Emm
a giggled slightly. “Please do.”
Alex was still wondering about her rather odd comment about having to marry him quickly. Whatever the matter, it must be something urgent for her to defy all convention and propose marriage. “Emma,” he said, touching her chin lightly. “I have one question for you.”
“Yes?”
“What on earth prompted you to ask me to marry you?”
“What prompted me? Well, it’s all rather silly, actually, and I could just kill Ned over it, although I have to say it all worked out very well in the end. I really couldn’t be happier.” Emma looked up at Alex and gave him a sheepish grin. “I needed money, actually, and I can’t use my—” She stopped abruptly, horrified by the change that had just come over Alex. His entire body seemed frozen, tensed for a fight, and his face was a granite mask, hard and unyielding. Emma stumbled back a step, almost feeling as if she’d been pushed back by his frown. “Alex?” she said hesitatingly. “Is something wrong?”
Alex felt a white hot rage consume him, and he felt unable even to speak. Fury pounded through his mind, blotting out all reason. I needed money I needed money I needed money. Emma’s words echoed unyieldingly in his head, and the walls around his heart that she had so recently broken down began to reform. How could he have been such a fool? He thought he’d finally found a woman who seemed to care for him, not for the material comforts and prestige that came along with his name. And he had actually believed himself to be in love with her. What an idiot. In the end, she’d proved to be just like all the others. He couldn’t believe she’d actually come out and admitted to him that all she wanted was money. That, he supposed, was a point in her favor. At least she hadn’t been devious like all the rest.
Alex stared coldly at her, his eyes two chips of emerald ice. “Get out,” he said harshly, practically spitting the words at her.
Emma felt all the blood drain from her face, and for a moment she thought she might faint. “What?” she gasped, unable to believe she’d heard him correctly.
“You heard me. I want you gone.”
“But what about—?” She could barely get the words out.
“You may consider any agreement we have reached here today to be null and void.” His voice was icy, and he grabbed her arm, propelling her to the door.
Emma felt hot tears welling up in her eyes, and she fought to keep them from rolling down her cheeks as Alex pushed her through the room. “Alex, please,” she pleaded as she stumbled out of the parlor and into the main hall. “What is wrong? What happened? Please tell me. Please!”
Alex whipped her around to face him and looked her hard in the eye. “You greedy little bitch.”
Emma felt as if she’d been hit. “Oh my God,” she whispered, no longer able to control the tears that flowed freely from her eyes.
“Wait outside,” he said, roughly, putting her out on the front step. “I’ll get a carriage to bring you home.” He turned on his heel and stepped back inside. Then suddenly, he turned around. “Don’t ever come back.”
As Emma stood on the steps, she wondered if she had died. Wiping some of the tears off her cheeks, she took great big gulps of air, trying to regain her equilibrium. She had to get out of there. The last thing she wanted was to return home in his carriage. Pulling her shawl over her head to hide her bright hair, she hurried down the steps and along the street.
Chapter 16
The lonely walk home gave Emma ample time to scrutinize her ill-fated conversation with Alex. It didn’t take her long to figure out exactly what had happened. Belle had told her about Alex’s first foray into polite society, and Emma knew that he was still pursued relentlessly for his title and his wealth. She also knew that he detested the women who wanted him for these reasons.
Emma realized that when Alex had asked her what prompted her to propose to him, she’d answered the question all wrong. Practically the first word out of her mouth had been “money.” But, she thought angrily, he had asked what prompted her to ask him, not why she wanted to marry him. If he had inquired about that, she probably would have gulped down her pride and told him that she loved him, praying that he’d respond in a similar fashion.
But just because she understood why Alex had reacted as he did didn’t mean that she forgave him for the injustice. He never should have jumped to such a vicious conclusion about her. She thought that they had built a more solid relationship than that. She had believed that Alex was her friend, not just another one of her admirers. And as her friend, he ought to have trusted her enough at least to ask her what she meant when she said that she needed money. If he had cared about her, he would have realized that there had to be more to her story than simple greed. He would have given her the chance to explain the sticky situation in which Ned had placed her.
Emma took a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. If Alex didn’t trust her as a friend, she didn’t see how he was going to trust her as a wife. And that probably meant he didn’t really love her.
Emma hurried along as she turned the final corner that led to the block where she lived. She had no doubt that Alex would eventually come to his senses and figure out what had happened. He had a stubborn streak that almost matched hers, but he would realize that his image of Emma as a money-grubbing social climber just didn’t ring true in light of their two months of solid friendship. He might even apologize. But Emma didn’t think she’d be able to forgive him for not trusting her. They could have been very happy together. They could have had a marvelous marriage. Well, she thought spitefully, he had ruined his chances for happiness.
Unfortunately, he had also ruined hers.
Which was why, when Emma finally scurried up the steps and slipped through the front door of the Blydon household, it was all she could do to blink back her tears and race up the stairs to her bedroom before they exploded like a flood. She locked her door with a quick twist of her wrist and threw herself down on her bed, thoroughly soaking her pillowcase within minutes.
She cried with great, big, wrenching sobs that shook her entire body and wrung out her soul. She was oblivious to the noise she was making, nor did she notice the tentative taps that first Ned, then Belle, then finally Caroline made on her door. A piece of her heart had been ripped out that afternoon, and Emma was mourning its loss. Never again would she trust her judgment when it came to men. And the most agonizing part of it was, she knew that she still loved him. Alex had, in a way, betrayed her, and still she loved him. She didn’t think she’d ever learn how to stop loving him.
And she hurt so much. Her father had told her that time healed all wounds, but she wondered if there were enough years left in her lifetime to ease the hard, throbbing ache in her heart. Alex had wounded her, and he had wounded her deeply.
But as Emma’s tears slowly subsided, another emotion came to join the sorrow, hurt, and pain that racked her body. Anger. Pure, unadulterated anger. How dare he treat her so callously? If Alex couldn’t trust her, the woman he supposedly wanted to spend his life with, he must be colder, meaner, more cynical than the ton had ever supposed. For all she cared, he could live out his life all alone with his hard little heart.
She was furious.
And so, when Emma finally unlocked her door, and Ned came tumbling into her room, her eyes were still red-rimmed and bloodshot but she wasn’t crying. She was seething.
“What on earth happened?” Ned burst out, quickly closing the door behind him. “Are you all right?” He took her by the shoulders, scanning her features intently. “Did he hurt you?”
Emma looked away. Ned’s concern for her well-being diffused most of the explosive anger that possessed her. “Not physically, if that’s what you mean.”
“He said no, didn’t he?” Ned surmised. “What an idiot. Any fool could tell he was in love with you.”
“I guess he’s the biggest fool of all, then,” Emma tried to joke. “Because he surely didn’t know it himself.” She crossed the room and gazed bleakly out t
he window for a minute before finally turning back to her cousin. “I’m really sorry, Ned. I know how desperately you needed the money. I don’t think I’m going to be able to get it now.” Emma let out a harsh little laugh. “Unless you marry me, of course.”
Ned stared at her in amazement.
“Although I don’t think we’d suit,” she continued wryly. “Frankly I think I’d laugh if you tried to kiss me. I don’t think it’s going to work. I’m so sorry.”
“For God’s sake, Emma!” Ned exploded. “I don’t care about the money. I’m not a pauper. I’ll find a way to get it.” He strode over to her and pulled her into a brotherly embrace. “I’m concerned about you. That bastard hurt you, didn’t he?”
Emma nodded, feeling slightly better now that Ned was holding her. A hug worked wonders for the broken heart. “Actually, the only thing that is keeping me from crying right now is that I’m so furious with him. And,” she added sheepishly, “I’ve cried so many tears I think I’ve dehydrated myself.”
“Would you like a glass of water?”
“Actually, I think I would.”
“Wait a moment. I’ll fetch a maid.” Ned led Emma to her bed where she dutifully sat down and then crossed the room and opened the door.
Belle tumbled in.
“Oh, for Christ’s sake, Belle,” Ned burst out. “Were you eavesdropping?”
Belle picked herself up off the floor with as much dignity as she could muster, which wasn’t much, considering that she’d landed on her belly. “What do you expect?” she demanded in an exasperated voice. “The two of you have been creeping around the house for the past two days, obviously conspiring to carry out some sort of nefarious plot, and neither of you has had the decency to include me.” She snorted at Emma and Ned, planting her hands resolutely on her hips. “Did it not occur to either of you that I might like to know what was going on? I’m not stupid, you know. I might have been able to help.” She sniffed disdainfully. “Or at least had fun trying.”
Emma stared at her blankly throughout the tirade. “There wasn’t any nefarious plot,” she finally replied.