Don’t kill a copper cos it’s a hanging job.
A prequel to the novel Hitler’s Banner, this novella is a complete self-contained story covering the events that lead up to the novel. The tale is set in London on the eve of WW2 at a time when hanging was the penalty for murder and the cut-throat razor, the weapon of choice for settling differences within the criminal fraternity.
It’s 1939 and Hitler is about to invade Poland and kick off the Second World War, but Foxy has more important things on his mind: as the getaway driver on bungled bank robbery he is at risk of a formal introduction to the hangman if caught. For Foxy, comedy and tragedy have always gone hand in hand, and this day is no exception as he plays hide and seek with the forces of law and order in the streets of London and the leafy lanes of Hertfordshire, doggedly keeping one step ahead thanks to his driving skills.
A Hanging Job is available free at this store.
*****
The Missing Gun: Hawker of the Yard
London in the autumn of 1939: the early months of World War 2.
Hitler has just conquered Poland, but life in London continues much as it did in peacetime, albeit a little more restricted since the introduction of petrol rationing. No bombs have been dropped on the city as yet, but the population go about their daily business under the constant threat of German air raids, and a blackout remains in force at night.
For Scotland Yard and the criminal fraternity, however, it is business as usual. When a pawnbroker’s assistant is wounded by a gunman wearing a gasmask, it appears to be a straightforward case of a bungled armed robbery, but as Detective Inspector Hawker of the Flying Squad, a devoted disciple of Sherlock Holmes, proceeds with his investigation, the more facts he uncovers the more confusing the affair becomes. A red-headed soldier, a missing gun, a dead cat, an empty violin case and a damaged violin are only a few of the threads that have to be unravelled before he can wrap up the case.
The Missing Gun; Hawker of the Yard is available free in this store.
Steam
Southend-on Sea at the start of the sixties sexual revolution, Monte Carlo at the start of the millennium, a humorous rock’n'rail tale involving a steam engine, a carousel, a girl forever new, a situation prone guy, a rock band of hopefuls, a policeman’s testicles, a couple of gangster twins, an Alsatian dog, a French poodle and a jukebox-full of songs.
Some people are accident prone; Ricky is situation prone. It was all a misunderstanding of course, he’d only been out walking the dog, and the situation would never have arisen if that copper hadn’t had a bit too much imagination. But apart from the gossip, living in a village had another downside for an aspiring guitar-man: there was nowhere to plug it. So it was definitely time for him to hit the road in search of fame, fortune and an electrical connection.
Overnight fame being a bit impractical, he gets a job as a fireman on a steam engine while trying to build a rock band from scratch, but the situations just keep on coming and his past keeps dogging him.
*****
An Accidental Millionaire
Once upon a time in Monte Carlo, there was an Englishman, an Irishman and a pig.
A conman’s job is not an easy one, and defrauding a Monte Carlo bank can be a bit tricky, especially if you are trying to do it by phone from somewhere up in the French Alps. Consequently, Sean is delighted when recently enriched Albert wanders into his hotel like a nice plump piggy waving a mouth-watering collection of credit cards: this should be a piece of cake…
But it isn’t! Money always attracts scavengers, and Sean finds himself in competition with Heidi. Whereas Sean presents Albert with an impressive business plan, she waves an impressive pair of tits. It’s the start of a saga that stretches all the way to the Italian National Polo Club in Rome, taking in Marseille, Nice, Monaco and Florence on the way, while involving sheep-loving Flemish bikers, an octogenarian nymphomaniac, the Earl of Donegal, a Serbian butcher a Croatian cockroach and many others, with a little bribery and corruption a la française thrown in for luck.
*****
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