Chapter Four
Having so much time off work was unusual for me, and I didn’t quite know what to do with myself. Spending time with Mam could sometimes be hard going, but at least I could keep an eye on her. I limited her drinking, only because our GP had warned me cold turkey would send her system into shock, and made her eat full meals for a change. We watched soaps on the television, and eventually she grew antsy again, her fingers twitching to hold a glass or a bottle.
“You’ll be fine,” I said without looking in her direction.
“I need something before bed.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I do. I won’t sleep otherwise. You know that, Dev. And he might come back again.”
“Who? Tom? Mam, he’s a good person. He was giving me a lift home when he heard you scream. That’s the only reason he was in your room.”
She stared at me blankly.
“Come on,” I said. “You’ve met Tom before. He works with me, remember? He’s the only person who was around apart from me. He definitely didn’t bite you, and I’m pretty certain I didn’t, so it must have been another nightmare.”
“Not him,” she said impatiently. “The other one. The one with the red eyes. He made me stay quiet. Then he made me scream. He made me remember everything. He could make me do anything. Anything at all, Devlin. Why is it so easy for them to make me do whatever they want?”
The rambling went on for what seemed like an age, but I was used to it. When she drank, she had difficulty separating her nightmares from reality. That’s all it was. So why did I feel so chilled?
Eventually I gave her a watered down drink to settle her down and give me time to catch up on my homework. Although I had plenty of time for a change, I couldn’t concentrate. I had the eeriest feeling that someone was watching me. I turned off my music, removing my headphones to listen intently for sounds of an intruder. I had no idea what was making me so paranoid, although my mother probably hadn’t helped.
I gave up on the homework, made sure all of the doors and windows were locked, watched a little more television with my mother, and then sent her to bed early. My own body loved me for letting it sleep, but typically, I woke up at the usual time even though I wanted to sleep in.
I groaned at the time on the clock and shivered, pulling the covers around me. I glanced at my window and sat up straight. It was wide open. I never opened my window that wide, and I was sure I had double-checked the lock before I slept. I ran to check on Mam, just in case, but she seemed fine.
Except…
She rolled over, and there was a drop of blood on the pillow. Maybe from the other night, but still, it freaked me out, what with all of the talk of red eyes and biting, and waking up to a wide open bedroom window. The doors were all locked, and nothing seemed disturbed. I had to be imagining it.
Maybe I had forgotten to lock my own window, after all. Mam could have opened it during the night even. There was always a logical explanation for everything, I knew that, and yet my stomach kept turning.
Still disturbed, I got ready for school and headed in early to finish the homework that had been an epic failure the night before. I finished surprisingly quickly, probably because I actually had a full night’s sleep, and ended up sitting on the floor, staring into space until Base arrived.
He made his usual racket, but I closed my eyes and ignored him.
“You dying or something?”
My eyelids flung open. He was staring at me, looking entirely bemused.
“I mean, no nasty comments? No rude insults slung my way? No projectiles aimed at my head? Are you sick by any chance?”
“Ha. Bloody. Ha.”
“Hi, Devlin.”
Base and I both jumped with fright as Sully’s voice filled the hallway. He slunk right over, looking down on me in a way that made me feel powerless on the ground. My heart raced at the sensation. As if he knew what I was thinking, he smiled. An eerie, intense smile that made me even more uncomfortable.
“Enjoy your sleep last night, Devlin?”
Something about his words sent off alarm bells in my head. There was a warning there.
“What do you care?” I snapped back.
“You wound me. I care a great deal.”
He blew me a kiss before sloping off, leaving me open mouthed at the sheer ridiculousness of his cheese.
“Is he always like that?” Base asked in wonder.
“How should I know? Run along before someone thinks I’m voluntarily talking to you.”
“Anything for you, Queen Bitch.” Base bowed deeply, and I tried not to laugh. The unidentifiable cold feeling in my stomach that kept showing itself whenever Sully appeared seemed to fade away. Base was such a dope. But yet again, Sully’s backhanded comment about Base filtered into my brain, and I got away from Base as quickly as possible.
The day passed uneventfully until lunchtime. Maisy had stuck to my side for most of the day, and Shauna had obviously begun to feel left out because she kept throwing nasty looks my way. It reminded me of when I had first joined the school I now attended, of the days when Maisy and I could be friends with Shauna, but not each other without it causing ructions.
At lunch, the anger kind of spilled over, leaving a path of bloody entrails behind in its wake. Maybe not literally. Tension between Shauna and I had existed since I moved to town and decided I wasn’t going to be stepped on ever again. We both liked to be in charge, and I had realised a while back that we were only putting up with each other out of convenience, so the fact that we were no longer spending time together actually felt like a major relief.
A couple of our other friends joined Maisy and me at the lunch table we chose to sit at, and I could see it made Shauna’s blood boil. She might not like me, but she wanted to be part of the centre of attention, and it wasn’t where she was sitting.
“Hasn’t this gone on long enough?” she demanded, pulling Deco alongside her to confront me.
“Nothing’s happening, Shauna. Go away.”
“You’re making everyone choose between us, and that’s not on.”
“I haven’t made anyone choose between us. People can be friends with whoever they want. It seems like everyone knows that except you.”
“These grudges you hold are pretty childish, you know.”
I widened my eyes at her innocently. “Diddums. Go bitch somewhere else. You’re ruining my mood.”
“You’re the bitch!” she practically screamed. The room fell silent as everyone waited to see what happened next. So, yeah, I had a reputation. I could lose the rag maybe more than most people. But I had slept well the night before, so it didn’t get to me as much as usual.
I yawned. “If you say so.”
Somehow, that bothered her more than if I had yelled at her.
“You think you’re so much better than the rest of us. Why do we even bother with you? You look down your nose at everyone, but you’re not even anything special. I don’t blame Deco for looking elsewhere because you aren’t worth it. You don’t make any effort with yourself, so why wouldn’t he sniff around girls who actually care what they look like. I mean, look at you. Have you even brushed your hair today? You can’t be bothered to look nice, so why would you keep his interest?”
I smiled, and she tensed up. I didn’t blame her. I tended to smile before I completely lost the rag. But not on that day.
“I couldn’t be bothered to make an effort with you because you’re nothing to me. Please. Remember that. It’s the most important thing I’m ever going to say to you. The world doesn’t revolve around you. The sun doesn’t shine out of your arse. You don’t exist to me. And as for him?”
I narrowed my eyes at Deco. The big betrayer.
“As for him… It doesn’t bother me in the slightest who he “sniffs around” because I can’t bear him touching me. If either of you mattered to me, you would only disgust me. As it is, you’re like an annoying little bee buzzing around. But one sting, and you die.”
“Ugh, what
does that even mean?” she said in a whiny voice.
“It means you can’t hurt me twice.”
“Don’t act like you weren’t into me,” Deco piped up, his ego bruised.
“I doubt anyone could accuse me of being overly into you, Declan. But feel free to think what you like. I really don’t care.”
Except I did. Except it had hurt to see him with someone else. Except I hadn’t expected it from him. Except I thought I had done enough to protect myself. A lump in my throat appeared, and I knew that was my cue to leave.
So I did.
But I only made it to the hallway because Deco followed me, grabbing my arm to stop me from running off. Bitter tears stood in my eyes, but he didn’t see them. All he saw was his hurt pride. Well, I had pride, too.
“Stop acting like this,” he said. “Give me a chance to explain or don’t, but don’t talk shit about us.”
“Us?” I spluttered. “Us? Seriously? As soon as my back was turned, you were out there lifting skirts. Don’t insult me by saying us.”
“What did you expect to happen? You’re never around.”
“Then you should have ended it! I thought we were both on the same page with this. You know what I’m like about… You just know. And I was working. What part of that don’t you understand? I don’t have a choice.”
“Everyone has a choice, Dev. And you choose to check out even when you’re sitting right next to me, so don’t lie to yourself.”
“So because I’m not fulfilling your fantasies of grinding in your lap in front of everyone like a little ho-bag, I don’t deserve any loyalty?”
“Don’t give me that. Don’t twist my words. I don’t push you, Devlin. I keep waiting and waiting for you to be ready to be real, but it’s like you were waiting for an excuse to get rid of me. How do you think that makes me feel?”
“As if I—”
“You can back away from her now.” Sully’s cold voice brought an involuntary groan to my lips.
Deco glanced from Sully back to me, his face clearing as he put two and two together and came up with five.
“Are you seriously that much of a hypocrite?”
“This kid has absolutely nothing to do with me,” I insisted. “Go away, new kid.”
“I don’t like seeing this lovely lady unhappy,” Sully said.
Again with the cheese. And Deco looked as though he was torn between laughing his head off, or ripping Sully’s head off.
“Why don’t you mind your own business, all right kid?” Deco said kindly enough.
And then Sully shoved him, knocking Deco back into the lockers with a crash. That surprised me; Sully didn’t look strong enough for that.
Deco recovered quickly, squaring up to Sully, his cheeks flaming, and it was all I could do to get between them and stop things from going overboard. I pressed my hands against their chests, trying my best to push them away from each other. Deco was so hot, Sully so cold, but I couldn’t think about that.
“You. New kid. Get lost. Deco. We’re through. Let’s leave it, okay?”
I held his gaze pleadingly, hoping he would understand. He stiffened, ready for a fight, but then his shoulders seemed to deflate, and he nodded. “Fine. We’re done.”
The lunch bell rang, and everyone moved on to their classes, but Sully followed me to my locker.
“I won’t allow him speak to you like that again,” he hissed through clenched teeth.
“Seriously. What is your deal? I don’t even know you, and what goes on between Deco and me is none of your business.”
“I’m just trying to protect you.”
I threw my hands in the air in irritation. “Have you any idea of how creepy you sound? How annoying? I don’t need to be protected. I don’t need to be saved. I can take care of myself, and I don’t even know you.” Did I have a flashing sign over my head saying victim? What was with everyone trying to keep me safe?
“But I know you.” Sully’s voice lowered, turning stonier, sending goose bumps across my skin. Any humour was gone from his face, and all that was left was a cruel mask. “And I don’t believe you. You’ve needed protection before, haven’t you? Someone to save you? But nobody came, and you were so scared that something worse would happen.” He sucked in a breath. “Ah. And then it did. Shame you had to move, to run away.”
My retort caught in my throat, and I backed up slowly, shaking my head. “What did you… How… What are you even talking about?” Memories flooded my brain. Of the past, of my mother’s exes. Of situations I wanted to blank out forever. Of things I never willingly thought about.
“Oh, I think you know.” He grinned as if delighted, matching me step for step.
“Why don’t you ease off there?”
I had never been so happy to hear Base, and I tried to ignore the frustrated voice inside my head that said yet another male was trying to protect me in some way. Right then, I didn’t care. I was too relieved to see Sully’s approach halting.
Sully’s head seemed to snap around at the interference, and he glared at Base before relaxing.
“Ah, yes, Brian, isn’t it? What a sweet little girlfriend you have, Brian. So sweet and… innocent. Maybe keep a tighter hold on her.”
“What the hell?” Base said, obviously hearing the same vague threat as I had.
Sully lifted my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles before I could pull away, letting loose an exaggerated sigh and giving me a little bow before he strolled down the corridor.
“What a loon,” I muttered.
“Yeah. You okay?”
He touched my elbow lightly, and a spark ran under my skin, leaving me with goose bumps. The good kind. I gazed up at him, wondering if the concern I saw in his dark eyes was real or imagined.
“Dev?”
I mentally shook myself, realising he had witnessed the entire embarrassing scene between Sully and me, but I recovered quickly, shoving all of my memories back into a box. “Like you care. And what’s with you listening to all of my conversations lately? Are you stalking me again?”
“Yeah, ‘cos you’re just that hawt,” he said mockingly. “Get over yourself.” He moved away from me and slammed his locker shut aggressively.
But between Deco, Shauna, and Sully on my back, Base seemed like the least of my worries. I knew Sully was trying to be mysterious and cool, but his enigmatic words kept hitting too close to home for my liking.
Loyalties and hierarchies of power had switched around since the argument in the lunchroom. Who sat next to who had changed, and it was all very strategic. Open messages of defiance and/or loyalty defined each of the moves.
Shauna was now next to Deco, and I took her place next to Maisy. Some nodded or smiled at me, others turned up their nose as I passed them by. Deal with it, I wanted to say, but I didn’t. I didn’t have the energy. It seemed like so much needless drama going on. Yeah, some people had hurt my feelings. Big whoop. It didn’t require a social revolution.
My disgust at Shauna and disappointment in Deco were overshadowed by the complete and utter weirdness that was Sully. I watched him for the rest of the day as he skulked around, charming girls and scaring off boys everywhere he went. And those ridiculous sunglasses might as well have been welded to his face.
In one class, just one, he was confronted by a teacher about the glasses. Ms. Jackson was a bit of a tough nut at the best of times, and she didn’t seem so impressed by the latest wannabe bad boy.
“Take off those glasses, please. I’d rather see your eyes.”
“You really wouldn’t.” There was something slimy in his voice, as if his words crept over my skin and stayed there. I shuddered in spite of myself.
“Excuse me? Get up here. Now.”
Sully slunk to the top of the room and stood in front of Ms. Jackson’s desk.
“Take off those glasses,” she said, not even a little intimidated by him.
“As you wish,” he said, slowly removing the glasses. He swayed toward Ms. Jackson, reminding
me of a snake about to attack. He laid his palms on her desk, and I held my breath, certain something bad was about to happen. “Now never ask me to do that again.”
She nodded slowly, her eyes taking on a glassy stare that reminded me of Maisy at his car. What was with this kid? Was he really that scary? That persuasive? Charming?
To me, he was a creep through and through. And something had to be done about him. I didn’t fall for his overdone cheesy lines, but it was obvious other people did, and he was far too convincing for his own good. Ms. Jackson was pretty tenacious and strong-willed, and very few students managed to get the better of her, which was why my alarm bells were ringing on full blast.
“That was strange,” I whispered to Maisy.
“I know,” she hissed back. “Freaky.”
But then Sully caught her eye on the way back to his table, and she shut up. She didn’t make another sound for the rest of the class.
That alone was the most outlandish thing that happened that day. Maisy shutting up.