***
I awoke cranky, plain and simple. Disturbed by the night before, and more than a little embarrassed by my little girl reacting to a dark shadow response to it, I was wrecked. And ready to take it out on someone.
Base was victim number one, but I had my eye on another target. Sully. That creep deserved to be punished, deserved to feel terrible. I sensed him trying to intimidate me in a passive-aggressive sort of way. He was being threatening in ways I knew I would never be able to clearly explain to anyone else, and that was what bothered me so much.
It reminded me of one of Mam’s ex-boyfriends. It was as if he picked her out when she was at her most vulnerable, when she couldn’t see the light. In front of people he had acted as angelic as anything, but alone with her… Let’s just say I saw the bruises. But they only came after months of subtle mental abuse that she hadn’t even realised was happening until it was too late, until it compounded into violence, too. I brought her to the hospital; I witnessed the aftermath. I knew the sort of things those kinds of men were willing to do to get their way. And I knew she had been more than willing to crawl straight back into his arms if I hadn’t pressed charges against him.
Eventually, he lost interest in her, and that might have been the worst bit. He had been the one who finished things. She had never had the backbone to leave him herself, and because of things that had happened in our past, she felt as though she deserved how he treated her. That he would absolve her sins. Her drunken apologies and pleadings had revealed that much.
I paced the hallway edgily, wishing I could stop remembering things I had shut away. I was in school early out of habit. I had no real reason to be there. So I paced. And practically snarled at Base when he turned up, making a racket as always.
“Relax. I’m just trying to get my books,” he said, shaking his head as though I were the crazy one. Okay, so maybe on that particular morning the craziness wasn’t exactly running away from me.
I mumbled something in response, and he paused to look at me. “What? No witty comebacks yet again? You really must be dying.”
I gazed past him to Sully. We stared at each other for a couple of tense seconds. I could feel him daring me to do something to him, to even try. There was a serious challenge in his eyes, and I could feel my insides shrivel up in denial. Maybe I should leave him alone. Maybe he would leave me alone. But that wasn’t me. I couldn’t back down. I would deal with him, one way or another, and I would make him think twice about trying to intimidate my family again.
He didn’t speak, but Base kept glancing from one of us to the other warily, like he expected us to either rip each other’s faces, or clothes, off. I wasn’t planning on either of those options.
“Don’t come near my house again,” I said in a low, determined voice, not caring that Base was listening. I wasn’t scared of Sully. No way.
Sully raised a suspiciously neat eyebrow. I turned on my heel and walked away, shaking on the inside. Every time he looked at me, my skin wanted to crawl away from my body and hide. And maybe that was what he wanted. He wanted me to run because he liked the chase. And chasing he was doing. He followed me around school, making bad situations worse, and he had basically admitted to spying on me outside of school. After all, how else could he have known where I lived? My nerves were pulled tight, but I would wait patiently.
All day, I refused to respond to his creepy questions, and he grew more and more confident with it. As if he thought he had actually managed to break me. As if.
Lunchtime came. Perfect opportunity. I sat alone in the very centre of the lunch room and waited for him to come to me. Of course he did. Like I knew he would. He couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t help trying to freak me out.
“Go away,” I said, giving him one last chance to leave me alone.
“You don’t really want that, do you Devlin? You want me to chase you. It makes you feel special. Makes you feel loved.”
He laid his hand on mine, and the shiver of cold that ran through me made up my mind for me. If I didn’t do something now, it could escalate and backfire on me. I had no choice.
“Get your hands off me!” I said as loud as I could, jumping to my feet. He stood, too, and all eyes turned to us. “You had better stop stalking me. My friend saw you outside my house, I see your car everywhere you go, and you’re a filthy creep in general.”
He glanced around the room, realising everyone was sniggering at the scene. Genuinely surprised, he seemed unable to form a response, and I pushed harder.
“Did you actually think stealing my phone to save your number in my contact list was the way to go? That’s freaky, even for you. I’m not interested in you. Nobody in their right mind would be interested in a naff git like you. I mean, look at you. Sunglasses and a leather jacket in school? All day, every day? Riiight. Why don’t you crawl back under whatever hole you made it out of and leave the rest of us alone?”
I turned on my heel and left the room amidst laughing and jeering. Anyone else, and I might have felt guilty. But I needed everyone to know exactly what he was like. I needed him to know that I wouldn’t put up with his crap without retaliating in some way. Base was right when he called me Queen Bitch.
That’s exactly what I was. And Sully would know all about it when I got through with him. I would prove to him that I wouldn’t stay quiet, not ever.