“Hello, Leah.”
“Hi, Rob.”
“How are you?”
“Fine, thanks. You?”
“Good.”
She wondered if their conversation could get any more banal. “I’m glad to hear it.”
“Will you be free Saturday evening?”
“Ah…yes. I shouldn’t have any problem getting away.” Paul would make sure of that.
“Great. What about a poetry reading in Blaine? I know it’s a bit of a drive, and we probably won’t get back until late, but I think the effort will be worth it.”
“That sounds…nice.” It sounded boring, but Leah didn’t feel she had any other option. If she made an excuse, Rob would be convinced there really was something between her and Paul. And Paul seemed to find it vitally important that she date Rob.
Leah didn’t have a lot of friends. Her best friend had always been her sister, and her only other really close friend, Linda Potter, was traveling in Europe this summer. Getting out with Linda occasionally might have eased Paul’s concern, but since she was away, Leah was stuck with Rob.
“Wonderful. I’ll pick you up around six, then,” Rob said.
They spoke for a few more minutes, the same insipid comments that had marked the beginning of the call. Leah hung up, wondering what it was about Rob that had ever interested her. Instinctively she realized they were destined to be no more than casual friends. She also realized it wasn’t Rob who’d changed, but her.
No sooner had she ended the conversation than Paul entered the kitchen, his eyes searching hers.
“That was Rob,” she explained unnecessarily.
“I gathered as much,” he said, revealing no emotion.
“We’re going out again on Saturday evening.” She didn’t have the courage to tell him it was to a poetry reading for fear Paul might laugh, and then she would, too. And laughter between them would be so intimate.
The doorbell chimed just then, and Paul, looking as though he meant to say something else, left to answer it. Leah didn’t know if she should be grateful for the interruption or not.
She was arranging the last of the plates in the dishwasher when Elizabeth Manning walked into the kitchen, smiling affectionately when she saw her.
“Hello, Leah.”
“Hello!” She greeted Paul’s mother warmly, drying her hands on a kitchen towel. Before Diane’s death, the Manning parents had been mere acquaintances, but over the past few months Leah had come to love and appreciate them. “When did you get back?”
“This morning.”
At the sound of their grandmother’s voice, the twins raced out of the back bedroom and hurled themselves at Elizabeth’s legs, shrieking with excitement.
Elizabeth laughed and reached down to hug her two grandsons.
Leah smiled at the boys’ glee. They’d missed their grandparents. After she’d come to live with Paul, the older Mannings had taken a two-week trip down the Oregon coast in their motor home.
“There’s coffee made,” Leah said, getting four cups while Elizabeth gave the twins two giant seashells she’d brought back for them. Ryan and Ronnie were thrilled with their gifts. They dragged their grandmother down the hallway to show her the picture of their mother that Leah had put up on the bedroom wall.
When she’d finished pouring the coffee, Leah carried the tray into the living room, where Paul was sitting with his father. He glanced up and smiled at her.
Elizabeth returned with the twins and they all sat down. Elizabeth and Eric were on the couch, with the boys at their feet. Paul was in his recliner and Leah across from him. Kelsey was crawling around on the floor, and after a moment Elizabeth picked her up. Kelsey struggled momentarily, but settled down in Elizabeth’s lap to investigate her necklace and then taste it.
“It’s good to be home,” Eric was saying to Paul. “I suppose we should’ve phoned first, but we were eager to see how everything was working out for you.”
“We’re fine, Dad.” Paul’s eyes drifted to Leah.
It had been going well, better than either Paul or Leah had expected. There’d been adjusting on both their parts, but they’d created a comfortable routine. The children were thriving. For a long moment Leah and Paul simply stared at each other.
Leah suddenly realized she needed to say something to break the silence. “Everything is going just great,” she confirmed, clearing her throat. She was grateful when Ryan clambered onto her lap. Not wanting to be outdone by his brother, Ronnie joined him. Leah had to peek out from behind the boys’ backs. “The twins and I visited the school earlier this week and registered for kindergarten classes.”
“We went to the big kids’ school,” Ryan said eagerly.
“Since the boys have summer birthdays, I was a little concerned about whether they’d be ready for kindergarten,” Leah explained.
“But Leah had them tested, and it looks like everything’s a go,” Paul said, sounding pleased.
“Although I did request the morning session,” Leah added. “The boys still need their naps.”
“We do not,” Ronnie denied righteously. “I’m almost five.” He held up his hand, splaying his fingers. Ryan quickly imitated his brother.
“I remember when my boys were that age,” Elizabeth said, smiling broadly. “Your daddy felt the same way. ‘Five’s too old to nap,’ he insisted, but I put him down every afternoon because I needed the peace and quiet myself.”
“I’m thirty-six years old,” Paul said, looking at Leah, eyebrows raised, “and my mother still tells tales about me.”
“I always will,” Elizabeth told him. “It doesn’t matter how old you are, you’ll always be my little boy.”
Paul’s parents left an hour later, after relaying a few of their adventures along the Oregon coast. The visit was a good one.
Leah envied Paul his family. He was close to his siblings and parents. Leah and Diane only had each other. Their mother suffered from a personality disorder, and their father had abandoned the family when the girls were barely old enough to remember him. Leah’s grandparents lived on the other side of the country, and she could recall visiting them only once. They’d died while she was in her teens.
Diane had loved Paul’s family, too. She’d never complained about problems with her in-laws, and made a point of giving Paul ample opportunity to do things with Jason and Rich, his two younger brothers.
Leah wasn’t well acquainted with Paul’s siblings, but she knew they’d all pulled together—particularly the boys who, unlike the sisters, lived in Seattle—to help Paul after Diane’s death. Paul’s pride had stood in the way, and he’d systematically rebuffed their efforts. He’d grudgingly accepted hers, Leah realized, because he’d had no other option.
Things were better now. They’d all begun to adapt. The changes that were taking place in their lives were positive ones and for that, Leah was grateful.
* * *
The following Saturday, Paul was in a foul mood—and he didn’t know why. The day had started well, but by evening it had deteriorated. Leah’s date had arrived shortly after dinner, and Paul had barely been able to look at the man.
Ryan had wanted ice cream sometime later, and for no reason at all, Paul found himself saying no. The boys had looked shocked when he snapped at them and quickly retreated to their bedroom.
Feeling guilty, Paul had gone in after them, apologized and then together they’d dished up huge bowls of ice cream. The boys had put on their own toppings and smeared chocolate syrup all over the counter. Paul had conscientiously cleaned up the mess.
He didn’t want Leah coming home from her night on the town to find the kitchen a disaster.
He thought back over his day, which had been a good one. That further confused Paul. If he’d had to cope with one frustrating event after another, he might be entitled to a foul mood. But he hadn’t.
That morning he’d played softball with his brothers. He’d forgotten how much he enjoyed sports, and was disappointed that Jo
hn Duncan would be returning the next week.
Leah and the kids had surprised him by coming to the park to watch the last couple of innings. It felt great to hear Leah cheering him from the stands. In all the time he’d known his sister-in-law, he’d never heard her raise her voice. He’d played his best when Leah and the kids were there, and afterward, for a treat, he’d taken everyone out to McDonald’s.
The afternoon didn’t explain his rotten mood, either. He’d repaired the screen in Kelsey’s bedroom without a hitch. He’d even had time to mow the lawn. The twins had followed him with their plastic mowers, blowing bubbles into the bright June sunshine.
Leah was in the backyard with Kelsey, planting the herbs she’d picked up at the local nursery. She’d never grown them before and wanted to see how well they did. He’d teased her about having a green thumb, and the sound of her laughter had lingered long after he’d gone into the house.
Before he knew it, dinner was on the table and Leah was getting ready for her date with Rob Mullins. Paul had tried to act nonchalant. He was happy she was going out, wasn’t he? Hell, making sure her social life continued was the least he could do. He had to give her a chance to get away from the daily grind of looking after the house and the kids.
Rob seemed like a decent enough guy. A bit on the boring side, but then he hadn’t expected a math professor to be a stand-up comedian.
Once the kids were asleep, Paul went into his den and turned on the computer to work on his novel.
He should be thrilled about the opportunity. Overjoyed.
But he wasn’t.
His attention span was short, his thoughts on everything but his novel. He worked late, forcing himself to review the five chapters he’d written before Diane’s death, making a few changes and corrections as he went.
It was well past eleven when he finished reading. The novel was good. At least he thought it was, but what did he know? Not much, he decided.
He had no reason to delay going to bed, but was strangely reluctant to do so. The boys would be awake before six; he’d told them to crawl into bed with him when they woke up and let Leah sleep.
He checked on the kids, who were sleeping soundly, and glanced at his watch, wondering how much longer Leah would be out. She hadn’t told him what time she’d be back, and he hadn’t asked. Not that it was any of his business…
He sat down in the living room with a novel he’d been wanting to read, but his mind kept wandering. The image of Rob taking Leah in his arms and kissing her sprang, fully formed, into his mind.
Without understanding why, Paul was furious. He slammed the book shut and stood abruptly, his chest heaving with exertion. If Rob was kissing Leah, it had nothing to do with him.
Clenching his fists, he sank back into the chair and opened his book. It didn’t make any difference. The anger simmered just below the surface, looking for an excuse to erupt…but there wasn’t anyone to pick a fight with. Except himself.
He was going to stay awake and wait for her, Paul decided. He didn’t care how late she was; he was going to sit right in this chair until she was home. If she didn’t come home…well, he’d deal with that when the time came. He’d have to do some serious thinking about the situation if it turned out Leah spent the night with Rob Mullins. He didn’t want an immoral woman raising his children, he thought heatedly.
Leah? Immoral? Come on! Paul wanted to kick himself. He’d never known anyone more forthright and honest.
He heard a car door closing, and his heart went into a panic. He leapt off the chair as if he’d been doing something illegal. If Leah invited Rob inside, he didn’t want them to think he was waiting up for her.
Hiding in his bedroom and turning off the lights wouldn’t work, either. They would’ve already noticed the lamp on in the living room.
Thinking quickly, Paul dashed into Kelsey’s room. Carefully, so as not to wake her, he scooped her up from the crib and hurried back to his chair, holding his small sleeping daughter in his arms.
He’d been seated no more than a couple of seconds when Leah slipped quietly inside the house. She paused when she saw him and Kelsey, her expression immediately worried.
“Is she sick? I knew I shouldn’t have left her when she was teething.” The concern in her voice eased Paul’s loathsome temper. He glanced down at the slumbering infant. If Kelsey’s teeth were bothering her, he hadn’t known it. She’d been a perfect baby all evening.
“She’s been fussy this week,” Leah said, looking guilty. “I’m sorry I—”
“Kelsey’s fine…now,” Paul said, gently placing his daughter against his shoulder and patting her back. He felt like a fool playing this game with Leah—a fool and a jerk—but he didn’t have the courage to tell her the truth. “I was just going to put her back to bed.”
“Was she up all evening fussing?”
“Not all evening,” he said, hating himself for the deception.
“I could use a cup of tea,” Leah said, hanging her sweater in the hall closet. “How about you?”
“That sounds good,” he answered in a whisper. He carried Kelsey back to her bedroom and put her in the crib.
When he returned to the kitchen, Leah had set the kettle on the burner and was getting two mugs.
She looked lovely this evening, Paul mused, shoving his hands in his pockets as he watched her graceful movements. She looked…he searched for the right word. Beautiful, he decided. For reasons he couldn’t explain, he’d never thought of Leah as beautiful before. She turned to smile at him and he was lost. Lost in her wistfully intriguing smile.
Leah swallowed and glanced away.
Paul shook himself out of his trance and walked to the other side of the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and taking out the milk. He didn’t drink his tea with milk, but he needed an excuse to leave her and that one conveniently presented itself.
“I was thinking,” he said, setting the milk carton in the center of the table.
“Oh?”
“You should marry Rob.” Paul wouldn’t have surprised himself more had he suggested they jump off the Tacoma Narrows Bridge together. It was the last thing he wanted. It would be disastrous to the children if Leah left now. Disastrous to him, too.
“Marry Rob?” she echoed, astonished.
“He seems okay.” That sounded like faint praise, but he’d sound like a fool if he said the suggestion had been a joke. Given no other option, he took his own stupid idea even further.
“Rob’s not the marrying kind,” she said.
“Why not?”
She shrugged. “He was married before, and apparently it was a bad experience.”
“What about you, Leah?” Paul didn’t know why he couldn’t leave the subject alone. He didn’t know why he felt the need to pursue it again and again, when it was the very thing he dreaded most.
“What about me?”
“You should be married.” For reasons he couldn’t begin to explain, he felt strangely relieved bringing the subject out in the open. He’d never understood why Leah hadn’t married. She was generous. Unselfish. She had a sense of humor and she was easygoing—and she loved kids. He’d watched her with the children all these months, and thanked God with every breath he drew that she was there with him.
Leah frowned at his remark. “I guess I’m a lot like Rob. I’m not the marrying kind.”
“I don’t believe that.”
She carried the pot of tea to the table and filled their mugs. Pulling out her chair, she sat down. “I’ve never been in love.”
“Why not?”
Leah laughed. “I don’t know. It just never happened.”
“How do you feel about Rob?”
She shook her head. “I can’t see myself in love with him. He’s too self-involved. We’ll never be anything more than friends.”
“Did you have a good time this evening?”
“Fair.” She lowered her gaze, and Paul thought he might have detected a blush. “I … I don’t think I’ll
be seeing Rob again.” She said it as if she expected an argument from him.
“Why not?”
“Because… I have my reasons. Do you mind if we discuss something else?”
“Sure, I mean…no, I don’t mind. I don’t mean to pry.” Mysteriously, the dark mood that had been weighing down on him all evening suddenly lifted. Paul didn’t want to analyze his feelings. He hadn’t said anything to Leah earlier, but he wasn’t all that impressed with Rob. Asked for specifics, he couldn’t have defined his feelings, other than to say he simply didn’t feel the other man was right for Leah.
“How’d everything go with the kids tonight?” she asked in a blatant effort to change the subject.
“Good. They all went down without a problem.”
“Did Ryan take his blankie to bed with him?”
Paul chuckled. “He made a gallant effort to go without it, but in the end he succumbed.”
Leaning back in her chair, Leah took a sip of her tea. “I suspect if Ryan took his blankie to bed with him, then Ronnie figured he had every right to suck his thumb.”
“Naturally.” Paul smiled and drank his own tea. “I worked on my novel this evening,” he said almost shyly. He wasn’t sure why he’d even mentioned his book to Leah. He’d given up analyzing the things he said; he only knew it was something he wanted to tell her.
“How’s it coming?”
“Better than I thought.”
“How far are you into it?”
“Five chapters—a hundred and ten pages, to be exact. I’ve been doing a bit of revising.”
“What’s it about?”
Her interest seemed genuine; otherwise Paul wouldn’t have bored her with the details. The story had begun to take shape in his mind long before he’d decided to write it down. It was a thriller with an ex-military hero, a reporter heroine and a plot that involved the illegal arms trade, the Russian mafia and the Middle East.