“In my family, it is.” Parker winked at her. “Quincy eats like a rabbit. I’m surprised he doesn’t have buckteeth. He thinks it’s a mortal sin to eat anything that’s fried. Dessert, in his book, is a piece of fruit. The only good thing about his diet is that it keeps family dinners interestin’. You can always count on at least one heated discussion about food.”
Now that she felt assured Parker had not seen her face on television last night, Rainie was able to relax enough to settle back on her chair and take a bite of her own sandwich. “It must be nice to have your family so close.”
He nodded. “Mostly. Sometimes I think how it’d be if I lived across town—or across the state, but that’s only when I’m aggravated with one of them. The rest of the time, I like havin’ ’em around.”
Silence. Moments of quiet were so rare with Parker that Rainie studied him expectantly, wondering what he’d think of to talk about next. While waiting, she wiped a bit of mayonnaise from the corner of her mouth. When he just continued eating and said nothing, she felt compelled to keep the conversation going.
“I’d love having a large family.”
Cheek bulging, he corrected her. “My family’s not large, not by Roman Catholic standards, anyway. You don’t see it so much in the new generation, but when I was a kid, lots of my Catholic friends had eight or nine siblings.”
That many children in one household seemed foreign to Rainie. “Yes, well, when I was little, I begged my mom for just one baby sister or brother. I was too young to understand that she was sick and couldn’t have another child. A friend of mine—a girl who lived not far from me—came from a brood of six and didn’t have a bedroom of her own. I loved staying all night at her house. To me, it was the neatest thing in the world to go to sleep in a bunk bed with other girls in the room.”
“My sister, Sam, was the only one in our family to have her own room. I had to bunk with Zach. He was such a little brat.”
Rainie had known her boss long enough now to know when he was warming to a subject. She waited to hear the rest of the story.
“Back then, I never knew what I’d find in my bed at night,” he went on. “It’s a wonder Zach lived to turn twenty-one. One time he put a garter snake under my pillow. Hello? Snakes don’t stay put. Along about four in the morning, my father went to cussin’ a blue streak. When he started to put on his boots, he found a snake curled up in one of ’em.”
Rainie chortled with laughter, which made him pause to look at her oddly.
“What?” she asked self-consciously.
“Nothin’. You just have a nice laugh.”
Rainie’s cheeks went hot. She bent her head to hide the flush. To her relief, he resumed talking.
“Anyhow, the snake got loose in the house, and Dee Dee, my dad’s wife—she was just our housekeeper back then—is terrified of the things. Didn’t matter to her that it was only a harmless garter snake. She was fit to be tied. Before school, all of us kids had to go on a snake hunt. Only we didn’t find it before the bus came. When we got home that afternoon, Dee Dee was sittin’ in the middle of the kitchen table. The snake had slithered across the floor shortly after lunch, and she took to the table, scared out of her wits. Didn’t get a lick of work done that day. When Dad came in from the stable for dinner, the only thing on the table was his housekeeper. We had peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches for supper, and Zach had to stay up that night until he found the snake.”
“No one helped him?”
“Not until bedtime. Then the rest of us started lookin’. It was a good excuse to stay up late.”
Rainie smiled. “Nothing so exciting ever happened at my house. My dad worked a lot in the evening. I read or watched television to entertain myself.”
“What did he do for a living?”
Rainie started to answer and then bit off the response.
“Come on,” he coaxed. “What harm can it do to tell me that much?”
She thought about it for a moment and decided he was right. “He developed computer software.”
“Ah.” He wadded the sandwich wrapper in his fist and tossed it on the desk. “A computer wizard.” His dark gaze settled on her face. “That fits. You take after him in some ways.”
“Is that a polite way of saying I’m a nerd?”
He grinned. “I don’t have a polite bone in my whole body, and you know it. The art of subtlety was all taken before I reached the front of the line.”
It was true. He wasn’t a very tactful man. But now that she knew his ranting and raving at lunchtime had all been a ploy, she couldn’t honestly say she disliked that about him. At least with Parker, there were no guessing games. He said what was on his mind.
“Do you really believe that a woman who dresses provocatively is asking to be attacked?” The question was out before Rainie could stop herself from asking it. Ever since he’d made that statement, it had been troubling her. “I mean . . . well, what you think or don’t think isn’t really any of my business. I’m just curious.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s a fair question. And my answer is that I think women should be able to dress however they please. I’ve never studied the statistics, but I’d bet my Stetson that most victims of rape are dressed conservatively when the attacks occur. I don’t think it has anything to do with how a woman presents herself in public. Guys who do things like that are sick individuals, and they’re opportunists. They either follow a woman to learn her routine and make their move when they know she’s most vulnerable, or they lurk in places where they know they’re likely to catch someone with her guard down. A woman could be wearin’ knee-high boots with a long winter coat and still become a target. Rape is an act of violence. It’s not about sexual desire, not in the way most of us understand it, anyway.” He fell silent for a second. “I’m sorry I threw that at you. It happens to be one of my sister’s pet peeves, and I was hopin’ you wouldn’t be able to let it pass.”
Rainie studied him thoughtfully. “Why was it so important to you that I argue the point?”
His mouth tipped into one of those devastating grins. He was so handsome when he smiled that Rainie felt an odd flutter deep in her belly.
“I come from a family that argues about the food we’re havin’ for dinner. We Harrigans love nothin’ better than a good debate. It wasn’t my place to needle you into speakin’ up, and I wish now that I hadn’t. But the truth is, I felt that you wanted to say your piece and were just afraid of how I might react if you dared.”
He’d hit the nail so squarely on the head that Rainie couldn’t think what to say.
“I don’t know what that son of a bitch did to you,” he said huskily, “but I can tell you this: He’d better not show his face around here.”
The flutter in her stomach increased, and delicious warmth spread through her torso. In some inexplicable way, seeing that spark of fury in his dark eyes aroused feelings within her that she’d thought never to feel again. “Where were you when I needed you?” she asked with a nervous laugh, hoping to lighten the mood.
“I’m here now,” he replied.
That was all he said, only three short words, but they spoke volumes. Rainie didn’t think for an instant that Peter would ever be stupid enough to show up at the ranch. He was far too conniving to make that mistake. No, if he found out she was alive, he’d track her down and bide his time until he could catch her alone. But it did comfort her to know that Parker would fight for her if the situation ever presented itself.
After lunch was over, Rainie tried to focus on her job, but that fluttery feeling way deep within her refused to abate. I can’t do this, she told herself. So what if Parker Harrigan was attractive? That meant nothing. So what if he seemed nice? Had her experience with Peter taught her nothing? She couldn’t develop feelings for the first handsome man she met. It was insane. She needed to get her hormones under control.
Only somehow all of Rainie’s rationalizations led her full circle back to the undeniable fact that everything abo
ut Parker Harrigan struck a chord within her. She liked the way he threw back his dark head and barked with laughter. She enjoyed listening to him talk. She appreciated his down-home manner. Unlike Peter, Parker Harrigan sought to impress no one. He had an impressive amount of schooling under his belt, but nobody who met him would immediately guess him to be educated.
Why did she find that facet of Parker’s personality so appealing? After thinking about it, Rainie decided that it might be because her boss was the very antithesis of Peter, who’d placed too much importance on the opinion of others. Before being seen in public, he’d preened in front of a mirror, turning this way and that to inspect every aspect of his appearance, and he’d been equally particular about how Rainie looked, examining her as if she were a mannequin in a display window before granting his approval. By contrast, Parker was almost too relaxed. He often came to the office with sweat on his brow, and when he plucked off his hat, a quick brush of his hand sufficed to tidy his tousled black hair. Over time, Rainie had determined that his stint at university had given him an impressive vocabulary, but he rarely used it. Instead, he talked like an ordinary Joe, dropping most of his Gs and dumbing down. One had to know Parker well to realize just how intelligent and well-read he actually was. A stranger who met him on the street might take him for a poorly paid wrangler or a mechanic dressed like a cowboy.
Rainie came from an entirely different background. Her father had been both a computer genius and an intellectual who prided himself on being well educated. When Rainie had been in grade school, he’d given her a new word each day, and at dinner, she’d been required to know its spelling, meaning, and proper usage in a sentence. As she grew older, she’d delighted in discovering a word that her father didn’t know. Over evening meals, they’d often challenged each other with absurdly long or seldom heard words. Rainie had loved those times, and in college, she’d used her word power constantly to impress her professors or fellow students.
So why did she find a man who talked like an uneducated farmer so potently appealing?
Over the next few days, that became a question always in the back of Rainie’s mind. It was also a question that she couldn’t easily answer. She knew only that her mounting attraction to Parker Harrigan alarmed her. Was there a pattern emerging here? Though Parker was far younger than Peter, he was still older than her by about ten years. What was it about handsome older men that made her go brain-dead? Was she harboring a deep need for a father figure in her life? Was it their wealth and power that she liked? Parker moved in an entirely different social circle than Peter, but he was no less empowered by status and money. The longer Rainie worked at the ranch, the more aware she became that the Harrigan name was well recognized in Crystal Falls. The family was considered to be a pillar of the community.
Rainie didn’t view herself as a gold digger. In fact, she had never been happier since her father’s death than she was now, living in a run-down duplex, driving a rattletrap car, and wearing clothing from Goodwill. Being liberated from her marriage was a heady experience. But she couldn’t ignore the correlations between her husband and her employer. Good grief, both of them even had names that started with a P. How weird was that?
Rainie had fallen quickly and wildly in love with Peter. Now she felt strongly drawn to Parker. Only a fool would repeat the same disastrous mistake. She could not allow her feelings to overrule her common sense this time. Ever since staging her accidental death, she’d vowed never to leap into a relationship again. At times, she’d even promised herself that she would never have anything to do with another man. She was clearly a poor judge of character, and she also had a propensity to trust too easily and blindly. She couldn’t let down her guard merely because a man seemed nice.
And, oh, Parker did seem nice. She seldom lingered in the stable area, but she often saw him working with his horses as she walked the length of the arena. What always impressed her most was his kindness and gentleness with the huge animals, and there was no mistaking the love that shone in his eyes when he spoke of them. He was also proving to be a patient and generous boss. Rainie hadn’t yet been introduced to anyone in his family, but she suspected that she would like all of them immensely if they were anything at all like Parker.
All too often, Rainie caught herself pondering her growing attraction to him and forgetting about her work goals for the day. Instead she considered how her heart rate always accelerated whenever he flashed one of those devastating grins at her, how engaging he was in conversation, and how singularly loyal and devoted he seemed to be to his family.
All in all, Rainie couldn’t find anything wrong with the man, and the realization scared her half to death. She’d been able to see nothing wrong with Peter, either, and, oh, what a bad call that had been.
Chapter Seven
As the late-summer sun set behind the mountains that evening, Parker flipped on a table lamp to chase away the shadows, then kicked back in his recliner with a cold beer and a mystery novel. The book had a predictable plot. When he felt certain he’d figured out who the killer was a third of the way through, he snapped the cover closed and finished his microbrew in the soft glow of light. Beyond the halo of illumination, the living room lay in darkness. The only sound that drifted to his ears was the hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen. A lonely, empty feeling came over him. Despite all the stories he’d told Rainie about his family and their chaotic gatherings, he most often spent his evenings in solitude. Normally he didn’t think much about it, but tonight, the emptiness of the house made him feel blue and restless.
Early in his twenties, he’d expected to be married and settled down by now. When his thirtieth birthday rolled around with him still single, he’d begun to realize life wasn’t quite that simple. Before a man could get married, he had to find a lady special enough to make him want to make a lifelong commitment to her. Parker had dated a lot of women—short ones and tall ones, skinny ones and plump ones, quiet ones and gregarious ones—but not a single one of them had ever rocked his world.
Now Rainie had entered his life, and the more he was around her, the more she filled his thoughts. She was like a piece of cheatgrass that had worked its way under his skin, burrowing deeper and deeper until he had a devil of a time plucking it out. Sometimes when he least expected it, she fastened those expressive hazel eyes on his, and he could swear he felt the earth shift treacherously beneath him. When he drew close to her, he smelled no perfume, only the faint scents of vanilla, apples, and cinnamon, which always made him think of apple pie. Yet the essence of her made his senses spin. His urge to hug her and chase the wariness from her eyes remained strong as well. When he said something to make her smile slightly, he felt as if he’d just hung the moon. And, God help him, when he was away from her, he found it difficult to keep his mind on his horses, thinking instead about ways he might encourage her to trust him.
Why that mattered so much to him, he wasn’t sure. Normally, he would not be interested in someone like Rainie. For starters, the lady obviously had a past—and more secrets than an hourglass had sand granules. What if she had been married to the bastard who roughed her up? That could mean she was still the jerk’s wife. Parker wasn’t an overly pious individual, but he did hold dear the tenets of his Catholic faith. Messing around with a married woman was not okay in his book.
Problem was, he felt like a man in a rowboat on stormy seas, with the waves and current carrying him inexorably toward a dangerous outcropping of rocks. He could paddle in reverse all he liked, but he kept drifting closer. Even worse, his common sense seemed to have gone on hiatus. He could easily take his noontime meals at the house or with his other employees. It wasn’t written in stone that he had to dine with Rainie, and he’d begun more days than he cared to count determined not to spend any more lunch hours with her. But along about eleven, he lost his resolve and found himself ordering take-out delivery for two. Just recently, he’d also caught himself planning ahead so he would have an entertaining story to tell her whi
le they ate.
How crazy was that? He knew next to nothing about the lady. Hell, he didn’t even know her real last name. Practically everything she’d told him about herself might be a fabrication. He had no way of knowing where the truth ended and the lies began, and he found that alarming. Parker wasn’t a gambler by nature, especially not when his heart was involved, and he had a very bad feeling that his heart would be part of the ante if he took this any further.
Only how could a man turn off his feelings? Everything about Rainie touched him—way down deep where reason held no sway. That hesitant smile of hers always made his heart catch, and if that didn’t do it, the loneliness he saw in her eyes hit him like a fist to the solar plexus. What must it be like to lead such a solitary existence? The only living creature he’d ever heard her mention was Thomas, the stray tomcat. Even more telling, her cell phone had never once rung during their lunches together. She either turned the damned thing off or no one ever called her.
Parker couldn’t imagine that. Here he sat, feeling blue because his home felt empty. Earlier in the evening, both his cell phone and landline had rung off the hook. His father had called just to say hello. Quincy had rung twice, once to invite Parker over for dinner, then again to ask if he’d like to go for a workout at the gym. Clint had called about a fence-post order that they’d gone in on together. And that was only tonight. Earlier in the afternoon, Samantha had called twice to ask him questions about one of her horses, and his sister-in-law, Loni, had phoned once to see if Parker had seen Clint. That wasn’t counting all the miscellaneous ring-ups that Parker had gotten over the course of his day. It made him sad to think that Rainie lived in virtual isolation without friends or family ever calling to check on her.
He wished he could think of a way to make her feel less alone. Maybe then he would be able to stop thinking about her constantly.