I gulped. “Would we go to jail?”
“Yes, and they’d throw away the key,” said Auntie. “One of these days you’ll get into serious trouble if you don’t start obeying rules. I told you to stay away from Gertie.”
“But we missed the bus,” I said. “So we had to stay together. What if we met a stranger?” I bit my lip. “Would the police really throw away the key?”
Auntie shook the sponge at me. “Don’t tell fibs. Toby Jug said you didn’t even go to the bus stop. So from now on, I’ll take you to and from school.”
I counted on my fingers. Poo! There was still four whole days before Auntie went home. I scowled. “Can I get out now?”
She heaved a big sigh and passed me a towel. As I dried myself, my tummy growled with hunger. It was hard work climbing mountains. “What’s for dinner?” I asked.
Auntie grinned. “Lentils.”
Lentils? Yuck! They sounded disgusting. I hung my tongue out. Auntie was one mean woman. Suddenly, I had a brilliant idea. I could surprise Auntie. I’d wait until she had her shower. Then I’d bake us a cake.
***
When Auntie came back downstairs, she put her yucky lentil meatloaf in the oven and turned it on. Phew, it stunk. Mum never cooked that. She made yummy meals with mashed potatoes and gravy.
“Dinner will be ready in an hour,” said Auntie. “You can set the table while I take a shower.”
Smiling, I waited for her to go upstairs. As soon as the bathroom door shut, I glided across the kitchen tiles in my socks. “Yippee!”
I peeked into the oven. Good! There was plenty of room for my cake. After climbing onto a stool, I grabbed Mum’s mixing bowl from the cupboard. Very carefully, I hopped down and carried it to the table.
Mange was scratching at the back door, so I let him in. Kneeling on a chair, I emptied half a bag of flour into the bowl. Next, I poured in a small bag of sugar and six eggs. Ooops! Some of the shell fell in. I stirred it up with a big wooden spoon. It looked good. Hmmm, what next? I wondered. I tapped my mouth. Then I remembered the milk. I poured in two mugs full and squished it around.
I didn’t forget the butter. ’Cause I’m smart. I plopped a whole container into the bowl. When I tried to stir it, my spoon stuck. “Poo!”
Then I had a brilliant idea.
I scraped the mix into Mum’s new blender and switched it on. But I hit the wrong button and it went speedy fast. Zzzzz, zzzz, zzzz. Just then, the stupid lid popped off and my yellow cake mixture sprayed all over the wall. “Ooooaaah!” I switched it off and smacked my forehead. “Poo bum!” Now, I’d be in big trouble.
Pulling my hair, I ran around in a circle.
Sticky yellow mush plopped onto my head.
I looked up.
Crikey! My cake mix was all over the ceiling.
A huge dollop dropped onto the table and splattered a chair.
I gulped. My heart stopped beating. I couldn’t even breathe. Auntie would surely murder me.
Mange licked the floor. Pity he couldn’t reach the ceiling. I tapped my chin. I know! I’ll get the garden hose. That’ll clean it.
I bolted outside. Lucky for me, it was still connected to the tap. After dragging the long hose into the kitchen, I put it on a chair and aimed it at the wall. But I had to keep it from falling off, so I plonked a bag of onions on top. “Yes!” I blew out a big breath and ran back outside. Then I turned the tap on.
My heart was thumping as I hurried back to clean up before Auntie came down. I barged through the back door and ran to turn the nozzle on.
“Whoa!” The nozzle was already open. Those stupid onions had fallen off. And the hose was wriggling around like a live green snake. Mange barked and chased after it as water sprayed everywhere. I ran to grab it. But it spun out of my hand and zigzagged across the kitchen.
Crikey! Water shot into the lounge room. Oh, no! I smacked my mouth. Now the telly and carpet were soaked. As I charged after the runaway nozzle, I slipped and landed on my belly with a SPLASH!
Real fast, I scrambled to my feet and caught that wriggly hose. Holding it tight, I aimed it at the goo on the ceiling. When the cake mixture dropped to the floor, I turned to spray the wall. Then I froze real stiff and squealed.
Auntie was standing in the doorway. Her mouth was wide open and her eyes poked out like huge blue marbles. She looked like she’d seen a monster.
Phooey! She was holding my scuffed shoes ‒ and my torn knickers.
I bit my lip.
As she thundered towards me, I panicked. Trying to protect myself, I lifted my arms. Then I aimed the hose at Auntie.
SWOOSH!
As the water blasted her belly, she flew backward into the hall. Dripping wet, she landed on her bum with a THUMP!
Chapter Ten – The little Tinnie
Ooooowaaahh! Why’d I spray Auntie? My heart pounded in my ears. Now I’d really gone and done it. I dropped the hose and bolted out the back door. Water was pouring over the step onto the patio. I leaped over a puddle and ran screaming out the gate.
Not only had Auntie found my torn shoes, but I’d flooded the house. Cake was dripping off the walls, and Auntie was soaking wet. She’d wear my guts as garters for blasting her out the door.
Tears blurred my eyes as I ran up the hill. The sun was dropping behind the hills as I fled around the corner. But there was nowhere to hide. I wanted my mum.
Then I saw Gertie’s house. That’s it! I’d hide in Gertie’s bedroom.
I tiptoed to the back of the building and tapped on her window. The curtains flew open and Gertie peeked out. “What happened?” she asked. “How come you’re wet? It’s not raining.”
“Let me in,” I whispered. “I’m in big trouble.”
Gertie pulled the flyscreen off. “Why? What did you do?” she asked.
I dived into her bedroom head first and landed on the carpet. “Quick, shut the window and close the curtains. Auntie’s going to murder me.”
“Murder you?” Gertie drew the blinds. “What, just for taking a shortcut?”
“No, silly. I was cleaning the kitchen with the garden hose, but Auntie caught me. So I blasted her with water and she fell over.”
Gertie’s jaw dropped. She held her belly and fell backwards onto her bed. Then she rolled around in a fit of hysterical laughter.
“Stop it!” I said. “It’s not funny. Your parents will hear you.” I made a fist at that stupid girl. “’Ya want me to get caught?”
She wiped her face. “But it’s so funny.”
I sat in the wicker chair and wrapped Gertie’s cardigan around me. My heart kept thumping and I couldn’t stop shivering. I didn’t mean to hose Auntie.
“What shall I do now?” I asked.
Gertie shrugged. “Dunno, but I’m in trouble too. My mum found out about the brickfield. She said if I don’t stay away from you, she’ll stop my pocket money and lock me in my bedroom.”
“Be quiet,” I whispered. “Or your mum will find me. Everyone hates me, and I’ve nowhere to go.” My lip quivered. Nothing went right anymore.
“Shush,” said Gertie. “What’s that?” She peeped out the curtains. “There’s a police car in our driveway.”
“No!” I jumped up and spied out the window.
Two burly policemen were walking towards the front door.
“Auntie must have phoned them, and they’re coming to arrest me.” I chewed my knuckles. “What will I do? I don’t ’wanna go to jail.”
“Don’t worry,” said Gertie, putting her arm around my shoulder. “We can sneak out the back alley.”
“Come on, then,” I said, already climbing out of the window. I crouched down and waited until Gertie came out. Then we crept along the side of the house. I looked back, but the policemen were still on the porch. Very quick, we darted out the back gate and took off down the lane.
“Now you’ll be in trouble too,” I said.
Gertie held up her hand for a high-five. “I don’t care.”
I
slapped her palm. “But where will we go?”
“Hurry,” said Gertie, grabbing my wrist. “We’ll hide in the old fishing shack.”
I trotted along next to her. “Okay.”
Hand in hand, we ran down the dirt track towards the river. The sun was setting and birds flew to their branches for the night. When we reached the riverbank, I looked over my shoulder to make sure we weren’t followed. Then we headed straight to the little fishing hut between the trees.
Once inside, we closed the door. It stunk of fish. I pinched my nose and looked at the river through the window. “I’m hungry. I haven’t even had dinner.”
Gertie searched through the cupboards, but there wasn’t any food. She picked up a dead fish and laughed. “Have this.”
I sat on the wooden bench. “Kids call you Dirty Gertie, so you eat it.”
She flung it out the door. “Your auntie is cruel for not giving you any dinner.”
“She was cooking yucky lentils,” I said.
“Is that why you hosed her?” asked Gertie, rolling into another fit of giggles.
“Actually, yes,” I said, “’cause she didn’t like my cake.”
“What cake?” asked Gertie.
I held out my hands. “The one that was dripping from the ceiling, silly.”
Gertie laughed again and so did I, but not for long. We heard a car rattling down the dirt road in the distance. I peeked out the door. My heart jerked. Headlights were shining towards us.
“Yipes!” I said. “Someone’s coming.”
“Run!” said Gertie. “Quick!”
“Where?” I cried. I followed Gertie along the riverbank, but it was nearly dark. “What about wild animals?”
“Don’t be a baby,” said Gertie. “Come on.”
When a bird screeched from a tree top, I hung onto Gertie’s sleeve.
“I’ll give you a piggy back,” she said. “Hop on.”
“Okay,” I said. “But don’t drop me.” I stood on a log and climbed onto Gertie’s back.
She tucked my legs under her arms. “Hold on.”
As she ran along the bush track, I bounced up and down. “Hang on a minute,” I said, grabbing a broken branch from a tree. “I’ll use this to hit monsters.”
“Be quiet,” said Gertie. “We’ll get caught.” She set off again by the light from the silver moon.
“Look!” I pointed to a small tin boat on the river. It was tied to a bushy tree. “Let’s hide in there.” I jumped off her back and ran to have a peek.
Holding onto the branches, I stepped into the tinnie. It wobbled, but I kept very quiet. I didn’t want to get caught and sent to jail.
“Wait for me,” said Gertie, climbing in next to me.
Whoa! The boat rocked.
“Watch it,” I said. “You’ll tip us over.”
“Oh, no,” whispered Gertie. “Here they come.”
I bit my lip. A police car rumbled towards the river and pulled up at the jetty.
Chapter Eleven – Bull Sharks
Huddled together on the floor of the boat, Gertie and I peaked out.
Two big policemen got out of their car and shone their torches around the picnic tables.
Trembling, I held my breath.
As the policemen came closer, Gertie nudged me.
Yipes! I could see their boots.
“Pollyweena Grubble!” called one of the policemen.
“Gertie McDougal!” shouted the other one. “Are you here?”
I pressed my lips together. Were they gonna find us? I clung onto Gertie, but she pulled away. Then that foolish girl untied the rope holding the boat to the tree. I shook her and whispered, “No, Gertie.”
But Gertie never listened to anyone. She shoved against the tree trunk. The boat rocked, then floated away from the bank. We crouched down like little balls on the bottom of the boat, but I didn’t dare speak.
When a car engine started, I peeped out.
“Look,” whispered Gertie. “The police are leaving.”
We began drifting further and further away from the jetty. Yipes! I jumped up and sat on the cold seat. Clinging to the side of the boat, I said, “Where’re we going, Gertie?”
She sat opposite me and shrugged. “I ’dunno,” she said. “But we got away, didn’t we?”
“Oh, yeah,” I screamed. “But guess what, stupid? We’re heading down the river, and I can’t even swim.”
Gertie pulled out the oars and passed one to me. “Here,” she said. “Start rowing.”
“Row?” I yelled. “I don’t know how. I’m just a little kid.”
“Like this.” Gertie dipped the flat end of the oar into the water. Then she pulled on the handle. “I saw it in a movie,” she said.
When I pushed the oar against the water, my arms hurt. I stopped for a minute and glared at Gertie. “What if this rusty old boat sinks?”
Then the river got even wider.
“Uh oh,” said Gertie. “We better turn right or we’ll head towards the ocean.”
“The ocean?” I gulped. Now I was really scared, and my teeth rattled. I started rowing, but little waves pulled us the wrong way. When I peered into the river, I saw lots of tiny fishes. They were darting about. “Hang on,” I said. “What about sharks?”
“There was a Bull Shark here once,” said Gertie.
“How big?” I shrieked.
“Don’t be a sooky laa laa,” she said. “That was ages ago.”
“But they could’ve come back,” I cried. “We’ll be eaten alive. I wanna go home.”
Gertie just ignored me and kept on rowing.
The boat started swaying. “Yipes!” I held on tight. “I don’t like being in this stinky tinnie,” I said. “It might tip over and it’s nearly dark.”
“There’s plenty of light,” said Gertie. “See, there’s a full moon. Anyway, we can’t go home or you’ll get arrested.”
My shoulders hurt. I stopped rowing. Just then, icy water soaked through my shoes. “Oh, no!” I screamed. “Look! The boat’s filling with water.”
Gertie looked at her feet. “Ooooaaah. My socks are wet. There must be a leak.”
My heart started pounding. I felt sick. “I don’t ’wanna drown,” I said. “I’m only seven. It’s okay if you fall in ’cause you can swim, but I can’t.” I threw my arms about and wailed.
“Let’s call for help,” said Gertie.
We started screaming, “HELP! SOMEBODY, HELP US!”
But nobody came.
I bent down and searched the floor with my fingers. “Crikey!” I yelled. “There’s a little hole on the side of the boat.” I plugged it with my finger, but water still got in. “Row, Gertie, row,” I pleaded.
Gertie tried rowing towards the bank, but we went around in a circle. “What’s wrong?” I said. “Why aren’t you going straight?”
“Two people have to row,” said Gertie.
“I can’t, stupid!” I yelled. “I’m trying to keep the water out.” My finger started hurting, so I moved my hand, but then more water poured in.
I screamed and pushed my finger back, but the hole was too big.
“I’ll just have to swim for help,” said Gertie.
“No!” I cried. “Don’t leave me alone. I don’t ’wanna drown.” Tears filled my eyes.
“I’ll hurry,” said Gertie. Then she pinched her nose and leaped into the river. SPLASH!
“Gertie, come back!” I hollered, grabbing the side of the boat. I peered into the dark water, but I couldn’t see her anywhere.
“No! No!” I sobbed. My bestest friend in the whole world had disappeared. My heart sank. I didn’t want Gertie to drown. And I didn’t want to either.
I cried and cried. I shouted to the sky, “I didn’t mean to hose Auntie. Honestly, I didn’t. I promise to be good from now on. I’ll do as I’m told, and I won’t eat anything off the ground, ever again. Not even lollies.”
No one answered. So I pressed the end of my shirt over
the hole and held it with my fingers. Then I saw Gertie. Her big long arms were splashing through the water like a windmill. I grinned. She was swimming real fast.
But then, she went under and disappeared again.
“GERTIE!” I yelled.
She didn’t answer.
Had a bull shark eaten her? I trembled and crouched down further. As I pressed harder on the hole with my fingers, my T-shirt got wetter and wetter. I sobbed and sobbed as the boat floated further towards the ocean. I wanted my mum and dad.
Chapter Twelve – The Little Hero
My fingers hurt. Why did Mum and Dad leave me with that mean woman? I bent over my knees to keep warm, but I still shivered. Tears dripped onto my legs. I wanted to go home to Jenny and Mange.
Gertie had been eaten by a bull shark. And I’d be next.
My nose blocked and I couldn’t breathe. I reached into my pocket for a tissue. I didn’t have one, but when I pulled my hand out, I grinned.
Sitting in the palm of my hand, and covered in toffee paper ‒ was my precious gumball.
Very quick, I ripped the wrapper off with my teeth and shoved the bubblegum into my mouth. That giant gumball was as hard as a rock, but I chewed it up soft. Then I poked it into the hole and pressed hard. Yay! No more water seeped in.
I peered into the river, but there was still no Gertie. I sat there trembling for ages. Then my finger went numb from holding the bubblegum. When I changed hands, my gumball fell out of the hole. “No!” I screamed.
More water seeped in.
“HELP!” I hollered. I scrambled around on my hands and knees, but I couldn’t find my gumball.
“DADDY!” I cried. “I don’t wanna drown!”
Then I saw it ‒ stuck in the lace on my scuffed shoe.
I pulled it off and shoved it back into that blow hole.
Suddenly a loud noise rumbled in the sky. I looked up. Yay! A helicopter. I kept my finger on the bubblegum and waved with my other hand. I blinked as a bright light shone in my eyes and wind blew all around me.
As the noisy helicopter came nearer, I squinted. My heart did a happy dance. A big man hung from a long ladder that swayed above me. He scooped me up in his arms and said, “Don’t worry, kid. We’ve got you.”
“Wait!” I yelled. “My gumball!”
The man didn’t hear me. But he held me tight as we zoomed upwards. I looked back at the little tinny. Shining in the moonlight, it floated away with my prize. Just then, I got pulled inside the helicopter. The man’s whiskers prickled my face, but he smelled nice. He sat me on a seat and gave me a warm drink.