sometimes he had to remind himself to keep his eyes on what he was supposed to be shooting. Jedi were astounding and he wished that he knew more about them. The only thing he was really sure about them was that they were in charge. There was no question.
"No matter what you say," Ahsoka said and yawned. "Thank you."
Rex blushed. Such a strange feeling to be thanked for something he would do without question and was automatically programed into him. Maybe he didn't understand being human as much as he claimed to. There were still things he didn't get about the emotional state of the species and he wasn't sure he would ever catch on to the art of being anything but a soldier. Being bred and honed into a tool of the Republic didn't give you many points of reference for the normal things in life.
"Let's not talk about it anymore," he said trying to brush away what he was feeling. It was more uncomfortable then the armor he wore after 36 hours of squatting in a trench.
"Why," Ahsoka said lolling her head to look at him, "can't you take a compliment?"
Rex cracked his knuckles nervously. Yes, he was better equipped to deal with thinking on his feet then other clones. There was an extra component in him, but it didn't help. Interpersonal dialogue was sometimes beyond him and he just didn't think that there was a manuel where it was concerned. If there was, he would have been the first one in line to read and memorize it.
"I don't want to have this conversation with you," Rex said and started to fiddle with the edge of his helmet. "Let's just leave it at that."
Ahsoka sighed. "Well at least I still have both legs," she smiled. "I won't forget this."
Rex smiled. He didn't want to say anything in reply, it would just open the same can of worms that his previous statements had cut off. It was good sometimes just to sit in silence. To reflect and be together.
Flashback
Anakin stood, hood pulled up over his head, hot air washing over his face as he looked out over the volcanic planet of Mustafar. So much had changed, he had changed and it was, he thought for the better. A path he had proceeded down at full speed, never looking over his shoulder to see what was behind and trying to keep his mind on the prize ahead. Many had been trampled beneath his feet as he had trod this path. There were few he cared to remember, but two came to mind.
To think, with all the power he now had and all the things he knew that he would do, he thought of Rex and Ahsoka. Not just of them, but about what had happened to them and how it had changed who he was on the inside, even if it didn't show on the outside. Their deaths, the last breaths they had both gasped, had totally made him into something different. Something or someone who would not let death be the end. Someone who would fight until the bitter end to have what he thought was rightfully his.
Ahsoka's death had come first, it had dealt an almost catastrophic blow to the men of Torrent Company. Rex had been with her, waiting for evac to arrive, but it hadn't gotten to them in time. Ahsoka had bled to death waiting and Rex had carried her small form back to the bridge of the cruiser and stood, helmet off, looking at Anakin through angry and blood shot eyes. Blaming him for something that wasn't truly his fault and that hurt him terribly inside. Didn't Rex realize this was hard for him too?
The days following her death were a mere haze. Anakin had not spoken to Rex or any of the other men and he had spent his days alone in his quarters quietly letting the hate and anger grow inside of him. No one there to tell him that he shouldn't be so attached and no one there to watch as he fell apart. How they all fell apart. The ship was awash with anger and hate and all he could do was be bathed in it as he walked the corridors.
After Ahsoka was gone, Rex barely spoke except in the military voice which all the clones used when they wanted to keep someone at arm's length. Anakin figured Rex no longer had the will to befriend those whom would be cut down quickly and easily. Anakin felt the same. He no longer spent time with the men and never ate with them as had always been their custom before. Anakin merely cut himself off from all the things that would slow him down as he dove deeper into the pain and suffering he felt he deserved.
Rex and had become careless with his life and was willing to fight any clanker that walked within four feet of him. Anakin, on the other hand, was doing everything he could to make sure those around him were not hurt. They both were teetering on the edge of losing themselves. If he had only been there when Ahsoka had been hurt, maybe, just maybe she would have lived. It was what his mind told him, anyway.
Rex's death was by Anakin's own hand. Rex had been wounded during a fire fight and was laying in a small alcove of rock. His arm was blown to pieces and he was missing a leg. Anakin looked at Rex's face, his helmet tossed to the side. It was painful. His friend lay there crying out for help and Anakin knew that help would not come soon enough. It was a moral dilemma for them both.
"Take care of me general Skywalker," Rex whispered in his gruff voice to Anakin as he bent over the body of his friend. "Don't let this happen to me. Don't make me suffer like I made Ahsoka. End this for me now."
Anakin had shaken his head and backed away from Rex. What was he asking of his general? This was not something Anakin could do for him. There must be a clone nearby who could end it all and Anakin would not have to live with the memory of Rex's death by his own hand.
He glanced around, but Rex was the only clone still living in the alcove. The rest had been blown to pieces by a shrapnel bomb. Anakin would have to be the one to do it. He felt the bile rising into his throat as he made the realization.
"I can't do this Rex," Anakin said kneeling beside him and trying to explain. "Help will be here soon."
He punched the comlink button on his wrist gauntlet, but there was nothing but static. Nothing at all. Anakin and Rex were completely alone and cut off from everyone. The war was going on without them. This war didn't have time for lives to be saved or make decisions. This war wanted everyone to fall into it's gapping maw so that it could eat them alive. It had taken Ahsoka, it was going to take Rex and Anakin was already too far into the mouth to fight his way back out.
"Your lightsaber," Rex said pointing at Anakin. Anakin held the hilt in both hands palms up to show it to Rex. "Turn it on."
Anakin did what Rex asked, but at that point, he had no idea what would happen. Rex held his gauntleted good hand over Anakin's and flipped the sapphire blade over to point down. With a quick jab straight down, he drove it through his chest and into the rock below. Anakin gasped loudly. They had both shared the duty of ending his life so that no one had more blame then the other. Anakin had as much blood on his hands as everyone else.
Anakin didn't remember being saved from that campaign. It was then that he was called back to Coruscant with Obi-wan to save the chancellor. It was then that his fate had been sealed.
Luckily, Anakin had died. Anakin had been killed when Vader had pulled the lightsaber from his belt and ended Mace Windu's chances of taking the emperor away from him. It was good Anakin was gone, because he would never be able to stand the thing Vader had become.
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