Chapter 11
Since Kristen returned home, Adam had called several times. If it had only been one or two spaced out calls, she could’ve come up with an excuse, but after seven calls, five voicemails and a few texts, it was obvious that she was avoiding him.
As she reflected on her steamy encounter with Steel, she knew she should feel guilty and ashamed. But, she didn’t, at least not about that. Her time with Steel felt right, and she wouldn’t feel guilty about that. She felt guilty because she didn’t feel guilty.
She knew she needed to be honest with Adam about her feelings for and actions with Steel, but she wasn’t quite sure how. Her phone rang again and Kristen just buried her face in her pillow. She had been in bed all day, and had no intentions of getting up anytime soon. “Please stop calling,” she plead partly to Adam, and partly to God.
Adam slammed the phone down in frustration. He had been calling Kristen since the night before, and was beginning to get worried. The time on his watch showed it was already after six o’ clock. She couldn’t have been away from her phone all day. Kristen wasn’t the type of woman who didn’t always have her phone with her, so if she wasn’t answering, it was on purpose. He just wanted to know why, so he could fix things.
“Well, if she isn’t going to answer her phone, I guess I’ll have to go visit her in person,” Adam told himself as he fixed his hair in his bedroom’s full-length mirror. Once he made sure every hair was in place, he grabbed a jacket and got in his car.
Kristen knew she needed to get up. She wanted to check out storage facilities, but as she looked at her bedside clock, she realized everything would be closed before long. Resigning that the day was wasted, she threw her head back on the bed. Within a few minutes, she was once again asleep.
BANG, BANG, BANG
Kristen jerked her head up. She wasn’t sure if someone was banging on her door, or if she had just been having a nightmare. She listened quietly to see if the sounds would repeat themselves. They did. Kristen carefully got out of bed and peeked out the window. It was Adam’s car in the driveway.
“It’s now or never,” she told herself as she Grabbed some clothes to throw on.
BANG, BANG, BANG
“Just a minute!” Kristen yelled as she headed down the steps.
Adam had been knocking loudly on the door for the better part of fifteen minutes. He knew Kristen was home because her car was in the driveway. Just when he was about to give up and leave, he saw a light turn on upstairs. He didn’t know what he was going to say, but he told himself to stay calm. The last thing he needed was to blow his temper.
Kristen stopped at the door before answering it and tried to ready herself for what was going to be a long and difficult talk. She hoped she would find some inner strength or maybe the perfect words to say, but none of that happened. She didn’t feel ready to talk to Adam, but he was waiting on the other side of her door. Before losing what little courage she had left, Kristen unlocked the door and opened the door. “Come in, Adam,” she said awkwardly.
“I was worried about you,” Adam said as he stepped inside and took off his jacket. “Are you alright?” He knew things were at a crucial place and didn’t want to come off too strong with Kristen. He would wait and let her talk first, and then decide how he should proceed.
“Well,” Kristen started as she signaled for Adam to sit down on the couch. “Well, I think we need to talk.” It was weak, but she needed to bring up a way to start the discussion.
Adam waited for Kristen to find her next words. He gazed around the room as he waited. Just as the silence began to get really uncomfortable, Kristen spoke up again.
“First off, I’m sorry I have been avoiding your calls.”
“So, you have been avoiding my calls?” Adam confirmed.
“Yes,” Kristen answered. Now it was time for the hard part. Knowing there was no good way to say it, she just closed her eyes and blurted it out, not stopping to even take a breath. “I think we should call of the engagement. It’s nothing personal about you. You’re a great guy. It’s just that I have feelings for someone else.”
Adam listened as Kristen attempted to break up with her. He needed to change her mind. Breaking up was not an option. He had put too much work into their relationship and was finally close to reaping the rewards. “We’re supposed to get married,” he reminded her. He didn’t care about whatever feelings she had for someone else. She was his fiancée, and he would get over any problems they had to see that they got married like they planned.
“We barely knew each other when we got engaged,” Kristen explained. She knew she should tell him the complete truth…that she and Steel had slept together, but she was having second thoughts. Was there really any reason to hurt him further? “I’ll always appreciate what you’ve done for me,” she began but Adam interrupted her.
“Please. Don’t do this,” Adam let a single tear slide down his cheek, as he grabbed Kristen’s hands and held them in his own. “We can get through this.” He was trying anything he could to get her to reconsider.
As Kristen saw Adam begin to cry, she felt more horrible than she had earlier. She came close to just taking everything she had said back. That might’ve made Adam happy, but it wouldn’t make her happy. No, she had to follow her heart. In the long run, it would be better for both of them. If she stayed with Adam, she would always regret it and have resentments towards him.
“I’m sorry, Adam. I just don’t love you,” she said before her own tears started to rush from her eyes. It was then that Adam started getting angry. He tried to bury the rage he was feeling. Blowing up wouldn’t do him any good. Rather than say anything, he angrily grabbed his jacket and stormed out, slamming the door loudly behind him.
Kristen watched from the window as Adam drove off. He was in such a hurry that he left tire marks on the street. She couldn’t blame him, though. She didn’t know how she would react if the same thing had happened to her.
Suddenly, she felt cold and alone. A part of her life had just died. It seemed as though death surrounded her. Thinking that maybe a shower would help her feel renewed, Kristen enjoyed a hot shower. She felt cleaner afterwards, but no less alone.
She picked up her phone and considered calling Steel before putting it right back down. She didn’t want to be the type of woman that always needed a man. She knew she was stronger than that. Still, she couldn’t shake the urge to reach out to Steel. She thought about it as she brewed a pot of coffee. After changing her mind several times, she finally settled on just sending him a text.
Within seconds, her phone rang. Kristen’s heart stopped. For a second, she thought it was Adam. Still, she flipped the phone over and saw that it wasn’t Adam. It was Steel. Instantly she found herself smiling and feeling warm all over.
“I was hoping you’d get in touch with me today,” Steel said when Kristen answered the phone. “I was a little worried that you were regretting our time together.”
“Not at all!” Kristen replied. “I only have good feelings about that.” It was true and she hoped that Steel believed her.
The two talked on the phone for three hours before finally saying goodbye. Before hanging up, though, they did make plans to spend the next day together. When Steel asked what Kristen wanted to do, she would only say that she needed his help with something that concerned her father. Intrigued, Steel agreed. Maybe whatever she was going to reveal would provide the answers he needed.