I walk off towards my room. Just as I reach the door I hear a grunt and turn, looking towards Blade’s room. I narrow my eyes and walk towards it, pressing my ear to the door. I can’t hear anything else, so I gently crack it open. What I see has me gasping softly. He’s sitting on the bed, side on to me. He’s got his head dropped, but his hand is wrapped around his cock and he’s stroking softly.
Oh. God.
I should walk away, I really, really should, but I can’t. I don’t want to move my eyes off the beautiful sight before me. His bare back is flexing as his hand moves and his biceps are bulging. His hair is falling over his face and that cock, oh God that cock. Heat pools between my legs and I whimper quietly. I want to go in there; I want to feel him, touch him, help him.
“Fuck it, Aria, if you don’t walk away I’ll drag you in here.”
I flinch. He knows I’m watching him? How?
He turns his head and stares at me. “Did you hear me?”
I swallow and nod, but I don’t move. He stares at me, moving his hand over his cock and god dammit, it’s beautiful. I can’t help it; I take a step inside and close the door behind me, flicking the lock. He shakes his head, but I don’t want to stop and I don’t want to walk away.
“Don’t,” he breathes. “Baby please. I won’t be able to stop.”
My eyes drop to his cock. “I forgot how beautiful you were,” I say.
He groans as if in agony. “Please,” he rasps. “Don’t come over here, because it’ll take everything inside me not to fuck you, and we both know I can’t do that.”
I’m breathing so heavily I actually press my hand to my heart. He keeps stroking and I can’t take my eyes off it. He doesn’t want to stop, I know that—he likes that I’m watching.
“Does it feel good?”
His jaw tightens. “Fuck, yeah.”
“Are you thinking about me?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you remember how good it felt to be inside me?”
He grunts. “Stop it, darlin’. I can’t take it.”
My heart melts. He hasn’t called me that since we’ve been back, and I love it. I take another step forward and he doesn’t stop me. I walk over until I’m in front of him. I kneel down, staring at his cock and his gorgeous hand working it over.
“Don’t,” he warns in a ragged voice. “Fuckin’ don’t.”
He means that; I can hear it in his voice. I know I shouldn’t too, but I can’t stop watching him. I love nothing more than seeing a man pleasuring himself, especially when I know he’s thinking of me. I look up at him and his eyes are pinned to mine, and god, he looks beautiful. His face is flushed and his jaw is so tight I want to kiss it until it relaxes.
Kissing.
I can kiss him, right? I mean, he kissed me just before.
I push to my feet and move forward. He opens his mouth to say something in protest but I crush my mouth over his. He groans into it and then we’re kissing. It’s beautiful and deep, our tongues are dancing and god, he’s making my body ache for him. We don’t touch; nothing but our lips. He makes guttural sounds and when he does, I kiss him deeper. I suck his bottom lip. I nip his tongue.
Then he bites down on my lower lip and his body jerks. I know he just came, because his body stops jerking from the movement of his hand. I pull back and stare down at him. His hand is coated in his release and my heart aches for more. I look back up into his eyes, and damn, if I don’t see desire in those depths. He wants me as much as I want him, yet we both can’t have it.
“I have to walk away now,” I whisper. “Or I won’t.”
He nods and I step back. My eyes travel down his ripped body once more and my heart lurches. Pain radiates through my chest, because I realize in that moment there’s a good chance I love Blade. That’s not good. I have to stop this, and stop it now. I turn and hurry towards the door, but when I reach it he calls, “Tulip?”
I turn. “Yeah?”
“Don’t ever come in here again.”
I nod and swallow back my tears, then I rush into my room.
Heartbreak . . . it sucks.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
NOW
“You look gorgeous, honey,” Mom says as I enter the living area that night.
I force a smile. “Thanks.”
“That dress is amazing on you.”
I hug her and then step outside where Ripley, Brody and Melanie are waiting for me. Melanie looks stunning tonight; her black dress is tight and shimmery, and does amazing things to her legs. Her hair is down and curled; she looks beautiful. She’s talking to Ripley, so she can’t see that Brody is watching her. I smile and he notices and quickly looks away.
I think my step-brother just might like my best friend.
“You guys ready?” I ask.
Melanie turns. “Oh, Ari, you look gorgeous.”
“She’s right,” Brody says, reaching out and taking my arm. “Let’s go.”
Melanie gives me a curious look, and I give her a confused one in return. I have no idea why Brody is acting like this. He holds my arm until we’re on our way to Bryce’s house, then he lets it go. “Be careful of that Bryce. He’s a sleaze ball.”
I laugh. “Yes, Brother.”
His lips quirk. I think Brody is enjoying his role as big brother a little too much after our bonding session. Melanie catches up to us and hooks her arm through mine, then she leans into my ear and whispers, “What’s with you and Brody bonding?”
I shrug. “He’s decided to take on the big brother role,” I whisper back.
She laughs and Brody gives us a curious glance. I ignore it and we skip forward. When we reach the party, I see Blade right away. He’s sitting beside Peyton, who has her arm hooked through his. Burning jealousy rips through my chest, but I keep my smile and ignore his stare. I don’t miss how his eyes drop to my legs. This is going to be a great deal harder than I’d first thought. Of that I’m sure.
“Let’s get a drink,” Melanie says, dragging me inside the house.
Bryce and his friends are in the kitchen, mixing up cocktails. When he sees me, a big smile stretches across his face. I can’t help but smile back. He walks around the counter and wraps his arms around me. I hug him and look up into his perfectly handsome face. “You look gorgeous tonight,” he murmurs, staring at my lips.
I smile. “Thanks. What’re you guys making?”
He keeps his arm around my waist and leads me towards the counter. They’re making Pina Coladas, and Mel and I both opt for one. Then Melanie drags me away from Bryce. She leads me outside and we find a spot around the fire going in the front yard. I avoid Blade’s eyes at all costs.
“What’s going on with you two?” Mel whispers in my ear.
I lean in close. “It’s a long story, but let’s just say we’ve come to the agreement that we need to stop whatever is going on and leave it alone.”
“How does that make you feel?” She frowns.
I shrug. “I’m okay.”
She studies me, then smiles and says, “You need to get laid then!”
I splutter on my drink and glare at her. “Seriously?”
“Yeah, seriously. Do you think he isn’t taking that uppity skank to his bed tonight? You have to move on; you’re young, and Bryce is more than keen.”
She has a point, and that point hurts. Blade won’t hesitate being with Peyton tonight, I know it.
“I’ll see what happens.”
She wraps her arm around my shoulders. “That’s my girl.”
~*~*~*~
It’s midnight, and we’ve all been drinking. I haven’t had a great deal, purely because I can’t stomach it after today. I am having a blast, though. Melanie and I have spent the night mingling. I’ve even shared a kiss with Bryce. It was nice—it wasn’t hot, but it passed the test. Things were going great, right until I ended up in his room.
I don’t really know how he managed to get me here. We were kissing, laughing, and he wanted to show me something. Now we??
?re kissing on his bed, hot and heavy, only my mind is really not in it. Bryce doesn’t do slow, and his hands are wandering over my breasts and up my skirt. His fingers graze my sex, and I want it to feel good, but it doesn’t. Melanie was wrong; I can’t move on this quickly. I’m not ready and I don’t want to be someone’s one-night stand, even if he’s a nice guy.
“God, you’re so wet.”
I curl my upper lip. He must be mad. I’m as dry as a desert river. Poor Bryce.
“Bryce,” I say, pushing his chest softly. “I don’t think . . .”
He pulls back and glares at me. “Don’t do that, Aria.”
“Do what?” I mutter.
“Pull back after you let me come in here and do this.”
I shuffle out of his grip and stand. “Look, I’m sorry, but I’m not really up for it. You’re a great guy, but I can’t.”
He stares at me, then mutters, “Waste of fuckin’ time, just like my buddies said.”
Um, prick alert. “Well, thanks for confirming that I just made the right choice. Night, Bryce.”
I turn and rush out of his room. I straighten my dress as I hurry down the hall, but come to a halt when I catch a glimpse of a couple in the room at the end. The door is open and they’re sitting on the edge of the bed, kissing. Heavy. My heart feels as if it’s been ripped from my chest as I watch Blade’s lips move over Peyton’s. Oh God. I think I’m going to vomit.
He must sense me because he pulls back and looks towards the door. He flinches when he sees me. I can’t do this. I thought I could, but I can’t. I turn and run through the living area and out of the house. I stumble down the front steps just as tears prick my eyelids and stream down my face. Melanie calls out for me, then Brody, but I ignore them and just run into the darkness.
“Aria, wait!”
Blade. He followed me.
I keep running.
“Fuck it, just wait.”
He catches up to me and takes my arm, spinning me around. I shove at his chest, over and over, then I cry hysterically. “Did you fuck her? Did you? Did you make her feel how you made me feel? Did you?”
He jerks and takes my shoulders, shaking me gently. “Does it matter?”
“Yes!” I scream.
“Jesus, Aria, I told you this was done.”
“So you rub it in my face,” I whimper, shoving his chest pointlessly again. “How can you just forget it that easily? You’re so . . . cold.”
He lets me go and steps back. “Because that’s what I fucking do.”
I look up at him, blinking through my tears. “So that’s it? You’re fucking her and you’re going to do the same to her as you did to me.”
“Yeah.”
I gasp for air and press a hand to my chest. “I have to go. I can’t . . . I can’t do this.”
I turn and rush towards the trees.
“Like you weren’t just doing the same thing!” he yells after me.
I stop and turn stiffly. “I thought about it, but I couldn’t go through with it. I have a heart, unlike you.”
Then I disappear into the darkness.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
NOW
I don’t even change—I just kick my shoes off and slide into my bed. I pull the covers over my head and I cry myself into a restless sleep. I’m woken what seems like only minutes later to the sound of my window being pushed open. I can’t see a damned thing, and my body freezes in fear as I hold my breath, wondering what the hell is happening.
I hear the thumping of feet, and I sit up quickly, crying out, “Who the hell is there?”
“It’s me.”
Blade? I blink a few times, rubbing my eyes. I must be hearing things. “Blade?”
“Yeah.”
“W-w-what?”
The floorboards creak as he strides over to my bed. Boots thump on the floor, then the sounds of rustling clothes before the bed dips. Suddenly his presence is over me, his face right in front of mine. I don’t understand.
“What are you doing here?”
“I can’t do it.”
“Do what?”
“Pretend anymore.”
I swallow.
“I fuckin’ want you, Aria.”
Oh boy.
“So fuck it.”
Then he leans forward and crushes his lips over mine. I gasp into his mouth, but it doesn’t last long. Soon I’m clinging to him, letting him lay me back down. One of his arms is tucked behind my head, and the other is cupping my face. He kisses me long and deep, taking my breath away. When he pulls back, I’m panting and so damned wet. “I didn’t fuck her,” he murmurs.
Oh.
Thank God.
“But I’m going to fuck you.”
Yes, please.
He tugs my dress. “Get this off.”
He moves off me and I slide my clothes off, not even hesitating. When I’m naked, he pushes me back down onto the bed. “Hands above your head, and put a pillow over your mouth. I’m about to make you scream.”
I pull my pillow over my mouth with a pounding heart. Then I slide my hands over my head. He moves down my body, gently sucking on my nipples as he goes. I close my eyes and whimper softly, not wanting to wake our parents. He draws my nipple in, flicking it with his tongue, and then he slides down my body, pressing kisses to my skin as he moves.
When he reaches my legs, he gently spreads them. He leans down and runs his stubble over my thigh. I squirm but his hands firmly hold me in place as he taunts and teases me. I want to scream at him to just give me more, but he holds me there until I’m arching up, desperately trying to push my pussy into his face. With a low chuckle, he leans down and runs his tongue from my entrance right up to my clit.
I jerk and cry out, and he slaps my thigh lightly. “No screaming.”
Sure, because that’ll be a damned effortless task.
He wraps his lips around my clit and sucks it into his mouth. I moan as softly as I can, but all I want to do is clutch his head and force his mouth harder between my legs. He takes his time devouring me, flicking my clit with his tongue and occasionally biting it between his teeth and rolling it about. Yes, oh yes.
“More,” I whisper.
He sucks harder and I gasp, arching up. Oh, God, it’s coming. I’m coming. I release my hands and press the pillow hard over my face as I cry out. My body shakes and he sucks until every tremble has left my body and I’m floppy on the bed. He moves up the bed and removes the pillow from my face. “You scream when I’m fucking you, do it into my chest. Better yet, bite me, baby.”
Oh boy.
I nod and he leans down, plunging his tongue into my open, waiting mouth. I gasp and suck it before kissing him long and deep, loving the taste of me on his lips. He pulls back and I can feel his cock prodding my sex. “You on the pill?”
I nod.
“You clean?”
I nod again.
“Fuckin’ sweet.”
I take a moment to run my hands over his shoulders and down his back. His muscles tense and flex as I glide my fingers over his smooth skin. Without warning, he pushes his cock just slightly inside me. I stiffen for a second, then let my legs fall wider as he sheaths himself with a guttural groan. “You feel as fuckin’ good as you did back then.”
“Yes,” I whisper. “Fuck me hard.”
“Bad girl.”
He reaches down and takes my hip, and damn have I missed the feeling of him filling me, stretching me in the most beautiful way. I close my eyes and clutch him as he begins to rock his hips. He fucks me slow at first, working in and out, in and out, until I’m muffling my cries on his chest. When we’re both close he starts fucking harder.
His hips drive his cock into my aching flesh and his balls slap my ass, rather loudly, as he picks up his pace. I can’t stop my scream, so I clamp my teeth down on his flesh. He growls loudly and mutters something about ‘fucking hot’ before he fucks me so damned hard I draw blood on his skin. I come, and I can’t hold back the scream. Blade’s han
d clamps over my mouth and he lets out a long, low hiss as he finds his own release.
He drops down over me, pressing his forehead to mine. “Fuck, did you draw blood?”
I scrunch up my nose, even though he can’t really see it. “Yes, sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, it was hot. You got . . . hotter.”
I flush in the darkness. “And you got . . . rougher.”
He pushes up on his arms. “That a bad thing?”
“Heck no.”
He chuckles and pulls out of me, rolling to his back. When our breathing has calmed down, he says, “I’m sorry for the hurt I caused.”
“It’s okay,” I whisper, yawning.
“You’re sleepy and I should get out of here just in case your mom or my dad decides to check on you.”
He has a point, but I really don’t want him to go. “It sucks you have to go.”
He’s silent for a long, long moment. Then he rolls and kisses me softly, the softest he’s ever kissed me. “You have no idea.”
He presses another kiss to my forehead and gets out of the bed. He dresses and then leans back over me. “Night, Tulip.”
“Night Blade.”
He kisses my lips again and I’m so content, I can’t help but smile.
When he reaches the door, he says softly, “I really am sorry, Tulip. For being the kind of man I was and not being able to give you what you honest to god deserve. I hope one day you’ll forgive me.”
I already have.
~*~*~*~
I wake for the first time in eleven years without a nightmare. I’ve never felt more refreshed. I yawn and stretch, and I can’t wipe the silly smile off my face. Last night started horribly, but it turned out amazing. Blade made me feel so damned good. I shove out of bed, loving how the sheets still smell of him. I don’t bother to wash up. I quickly get dressed and rush out for breakfast.
I just want to see him again.
Last night was amazing, and I think it may have changed everything for us.
When I get into the dining area, I see everyone standing in the kitchen chatting to each other. Ripley is missing and so is Blade. They must still be sleeping. “Morning,” I call, walking over and hugging Mom. I squeeze Jack’s shoulder and head to the coffee pot. I pour a mug and look up to see Melanie watching me with an unreadable expression on her face.