“Do you know when my sister died, I mourned losing you just as much as her? I hated you at first because I thought you could have stopped her. I couldn’t understand why you didn’t love my sister—why you shattered her heart and drove her to do what you did.” Now it’s my voice breaking as tears blur my vision.
“Come here.” He pulls me in, and I let him as he offers a firm embrace. “She’d want us to be friends. Hell, we’re family.” He pulls back and slaps me over the arm. “Owen tells me you fell for Ava.” He nods into this fact as if he understood it. “I saw the aftermath of the big gene pool reveal. No one ever said love was fair. I don’t think Steph would want you blowing Ava off just because of Aubree. Steph was a good judge of character and did love Ava.”
I meet up with his watery eyes once again. “She did?”
“Yup. I remember her telling me once that she didn’t trust Aubree as far as she could throw her, but that little sister who tagged along with her sure was cute. They bumped into one another at the mall once or twice. So you see, Steph gave Ava the seal of approval long ago.” He socks me in the arm. “I’m betting that was for you. Steph would want you to be happy.”
It’s as if the floor shifts underneath my feet. Steph met Ava. She approved of Ava. Steph wouldn’t want me to hate anyone. I know Darcy is right. And I know Bryson is right, too—Steph would want me to be happy.
“Thanks for that.” I hold out my hand, and Bryson shakes it before pulling me into another strong embrace.
“Thanks for letting me back into your life. Expect to see me at the games.” He leans back. “Now, what are you going to do about that girl?”
“I don’t know. As much as my gut says go get her, my heart knows it wouldn’t work. It couldn’t. Her sister killed mine. It’s a lot to rise above in any relationship. Maybe in the long run she’ll thank me for letting her go.”
Bryson shakes his head, his dazed stare still locked to mine. “I hope you’re not making a big mistake.”
I hope I’m not either.
After Darcy and I say goodbye, I head back to the dorm just as a flood of bodies fills the commons room. It’s the final house party before we officially disband and everyone goes their separate ways for winter break. I shower and dress, take extra care in getting ready tonight. I’m not sure why. I’m not gunning for a reunion with Ava, at least not cerebrally. My heart seems to be on autopilot, and it’s not giving up the controls.
I head down and spot Rush and Lawson stacking beer cans into an overgrown pyramid.
“Great engineering,” I laud them as they do their thing with the deftness and dexterity of brain surgeons.
Lawson glances over my shoulder. “Where’s your girlfriend?” I know he didn’t mean it as a swipe. Darcy has been hanging out here so much he’s probably deduced this to be a fact.
“Home with family. We’re just friends.”
Rush glances at me before getting back to the all-important task at hand. “You’ve just come to that conclusion? Are you sticking with it this time?”
“Yes.” I step in toward him. “And I’m sticking with my buddies, if you’ll have me.” I knock Rush’s knee out from behind. “I’m serious. I’m not loving the freeze-out.”
“Then you shouldn’t freeze people out.” He cuts another glance my way, this time far more serious. “You realize I’m talking about Ava, right? She’s hurting—and you, my friend, put that hurt there.”
“Nobody asked her sister to shove mine off a cliff.”
“Damn right, no one asked.” He sets a can down with just enough vigor to let me know he’s pissed. “Ava sure as hell didn’t ask. So why crucify her?”
Lawson steps in between us as if readying to break up a fight. On a normal night, he might have had to, but tonight I’m all about letting it go.
The thought of hurting Ava eviscerates me. “I’m sorry if I crucified her. I didn’t mean to. I thought it was best I let her go, and the quickest way to ensure I didn’t cave was to separate myself.”
Rush tips his head to the side, his bushy brow hikes into his forehead. “Do you want her back?”
“I don’t know.” Of course, I want her back. “I’m pretty sure there are some things that not even love can conquer.” What was that? Do I love Ava? Something in my chest cinches because maybe I do—hell, I know I do. Shit. What the hell have I done? What the hell keeps happening?
A shadow moves across the wall behind Rush and slowly takes form—those familiar features, that familiar girlish frame—I recognize it, I recognize her—Steph. There she is, so beautiful, laughing as I come to the realization of what’s happening.
Lawson taps his elbow to mine. “You okay, dude? You look like you just saw a ghost.”
I blink back, and the image of Steph evaporates to nothing. I head over to the wall, still unsure if what I saw was in my overactive imagination or a real life delusion of grandeur. My next biggest nightmare has always been losing my sanity. Losing Steph was the first. I touch the space between the wall and me, and my hand warms. My fingers brush against the white wall just as the faintest scent of Wild Honey lights up the air. Steph’s perfume.
“Stephanie,” I whisper, marveling at what just happened. She was here. I swear it. Just like Bryson swore earlier.
Rush comes over and lands an arm over my shoulder. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Better than okay. I’m thinking maybe I should find Ava.”
“It’s about time you came to your senses.” He knocks my knee out from under me with a laugh. “Let’s track her down.”
For the first time in a long while it feels as if fate, destiny, all those things I had relegated to fantasy novels were somehow coming true for me of all people. Now to seal my fate with Ava, I need to track down my destiny. I like the sound of that. A lot.
We grab our coats, and I pick up my keys. Rush tried to call her, but didn’t get an answer, so we head for the door on our way to the Black Bear.
Lucky runs at us just as we hit the porch and grabs ahold of Rush by the collar. “Harper was in an accident! I have to get to the hospital. Ava was hurt in the crash.”
The world stops spinning. All of time ceases to exist.
“Ava.” I stagger to my truck and jump inside.
Nothing can happen to Ava. I can’t lose two people in one lifetime. That’s not how this works.
Why do I get the feeling that fate and destiny met here tonight, and they’re both giving me the finger.
I can’t breathe, can’t remember how I arrive at Hollow Brook General with both Lucky and Rush beside me.
I bolt into the ER and through the double security doors in the back that an orderly holds open for an elderly woman.
“Get back here!” he shouts. The sound of his voice reverberates through the bright hall.
I give a spastic glance left and right before spotting a crowd of doctors and nurses working furtively on a patient lying on a gurney. Dark clots of hair stretch to the floor as the girl’s hand hangs over the side, lifeless.
“Ava!” My voice riots so loud the universe trembles.
Owen comes up behind me and stops short of the chaotic scene. “Shit!” He grips his hair at the temples.
“Ava!” I lunge past him, but Owen yanks me back, pushes me into the wall so hard my head bounces like a rubber ball.
“You don’t get to fuck with her anymore.” He grits it through his teeth, but it’s the death threat that his eyes send that has me reeling with anger.
“Get the hell away from me, and I won’t tear your head off. I love her. I want to be with her. So help me God, if you don’t get out of my way, you’re going to need a gurney, too.” I offer him a firm shove in an effort to break his stronghold on me.
“You don’t get to pick and choose when you’re going to be nice to my sister.” He growls out nice as if it were an offense. “She was hurting. Where were you then?” His voice rattles over the hall like an echo chamber. “You were the one who caused the pain in the first pl
ace!”
Now it’s me shoving him against a wall. “You piece of shit. You—your family—your fucked-up sister, Aubree, was the one who caused the pain in the first place!”
In an instant the rage leaves him. Owen’s face bleaches out as if this were new information I was confronting him with. His body loosens as his hands fly up. “You’re right.”
“Damn straight, I’m right.” I drop him with a shove.
The flurry of doctors and nurses increases with a morbid intensity until one of them cries, “Code Blue!” The gurney, the madness that surrounds it quickly escalates down the hall, and before Owen or I could follow, we stop short at the sight before us.
Sitting in a wheelchair with Harper standing by her side is Ava. She looks whole and healthy, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think that was a sheepish smile forming on her lips.
“God.” Owen dives over her and pulls her into a strong embrace. “What the hell happened? What did you hurt?” He does a frantic search of her body as if expecting to find a missing limb, and I do the same.
“It was totally my fault.” Harper dabs a tissue to her eyes. “I ran a light—I thought I could make it, but the intersection was longer than it looked, and a car hit my passenger side door.”
“I’m fine.” Ava holds up a hand before Owen can say a word. “I don’t even know why they have me in this thing.” She swipes the side of the wheelchair. “Harper insisted we get checked out. I’m just waiting for my paperwork. I’m clear to go.” Her eyes slowly track to mine, and a spark jumps between us as strong as that first day she came crashing into my world.
“Ava.”
She leaps from her seat and into my arms, and I hold her unforgivably tight as we spin.
Ava pulls back and examines me at this close proximity. “I heard what you said. Is it true?”
“Yes.” The word hisses from me painfully slow as I bear into her. “I love you, Ava. I want to be with you.”
Her eyes shine as pale as a morning sky, like river stones gleaming underwater like jewels. “Wh-what about”—she shrugs into a sigh—“m-my sister and all the pain she’s caused your family?”
I press my lips tight as I lose my gaze for a few moments just past her shoulder. “I don’t hate her.” And just like that, the boulder that’s been sitting on my chest for the last few years rolls off and crumbles to dust. I’m lighter than air, lost in the eyes of the girl I love, and nothing else matters. “Hating her can’t bring Steph back. Steph wouldn’t want me to spend the rest of my life in that negative space.” I touch my finger to Ava’s chin until that growing smile of hers is all I see. “She would want me to be with you. I’d swear on my life this is true. I love you, Ava Vincent. First, you stole my PB and J, then you stole a few kisses, and finally, you stole my heart.”
That dark hair of hers swoops over one eye as if it was trained to seduce me. Ava is a natural born seductress with that devilish grin, those diamond eyes.
“I’m going to kiss you now.” She nods into this. “Just be warned that my brother will most likely feed you his fist before we’re through.”
A barely-there grin pumps from me as I lean in and take the initiative. With Ava’s permission, I crash my mouth to hers—making love to her through this kiss, right here in the ER, in front of her loose cannon of a brother.
I don’t really give a shit what he plans on doing.
The only thing that matters is what Ava and I are doing—together.
Love the Hard Way
Ava
The night my sister was formally charged with murder, my family, my entire world exploded in a nuclear ball of misery. My heart shattered for the girl who lost her life at the hands of my careless sister. My heart broke just as much for my sister, who inadvertently lost what was left of her own life as well. But this night, in an irony that only life can provide, the one that’s mended my heart fully is Grant Jones, the brother of the girl my own sister murdered.
Once I assured both Harper and Owen that I was fine, Grant and I took off and ended up at the exact place where we started, the Hallowed Grounds Café.
“Just for the record, I vote we finish our drinks and take this someplace with a little more privacy, like your room at Beta house.” I reach over and interlace our fingers. Grant has such thick strong hands, and every part of my body demands that they touch me.
He leans in with that dirty grin blooming. “If I took you back to my place, I’d want to jump your bones.”
“I’d let you jump my bones, Jones,” I counter so quickly he raises his brows in amusement.
“That’s what I thought.” Grant shakes his head. “It needs to be right.” He gives my hand a squeeze. Grant has a way of gazing at you as if he’s pouring his entire soul into your eyes. “I wanted to talk to you—get things on the right track between us.”
“We’re on the right track,” I offer. “I vote we leave now.” I’m only half-teasing.
Grant belts out a laugh, and I join him. I’ve never felt a burst of joy the way I did in that hospital when I inadvertently heard his declaration of love for me, even if it was targeted at my brother at the time.
“I guess there’s no more hiding from Owen.” I toast him with my coffee before taking a sip.
“I’m glad.” Grant tips his head thoughtfully. “I think there are a few other siblings we should square things away with.”
“I don’t have any other siblings, other than Aub—” I stop short before her name comes to completion on my lips. It feels sacrilegious speaking her name in front of him. “Do you really think we can work?” My entire body aches as I ask the question. “You know, she’s not your favorite person. Not that I want her to be. I understand that, and I’m more than okay with it, but…”
“But you love her.” He nods. “Yes, we can work, Ava. We will work.” His determined gaze presses into mine. “I’m not out to get her. I’m not out to hurt her with words or anything else.”
“Okay,” it comes out quiet because a thought comes to me, and I’m almost too afraid to give it.
Grant rubs a small circle on the inside of my palm. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking that tomorrow when I visit her, you should come with me.”
The North Carolina Women’s Correctional Facility is decked out for the holidays in its own sterile, yet kitschy manner with green foil wreathes, plastic Santa faces, and dozens of dime store stockings hung with names written in gold glitter.
Aubree needed to clear this visit, so technically, she knows my boyfriend will be here—she just doesn’t realize who he is. A part of me wanted to tell her everything, but another part of me didn’t want her to freak out and cancel a moment that I think needs to happen.
If Grant had said no, if he even remotely hesitated, I wouldn’t have pushed it. But the fact he was onboard cinched the fact this was something we should do, the sooner the better. We talked for hours about how this might feel. I told him what it was like to go through life labeled as the killer’s sister. Grant shared the immeasurable pain of what it felt like to have an arid space where his sister, his best friend once stood. We washed ourselves in tears, but we both still agreed this visit was an integral part of our healing. Owen drove out with us, making small talk with Grant all the way here about basketball, the football team—his quarterback buddy, Rex, in particular. As much as I thought that Owen would hate the fact I have someone in my life, he’s actually far calmer and saner about the situation than I ever imagined he was capable of. It makes me a touch proud of my big bro. In a way, I feel as if we’ve both grown from this experience. And it’s precisely this reason that has me thinking I need to remove the chains I’ve inadvertently placed on the relationship I have with Piper. If I want Owen to get along with Grant—especially now that I see how happy it makes me—I’m going to make every effort to get along with Piper. She’s cool, and beautiful, and a ton of fun to hang around with, so I foresee a great relationship on the horizon. Plus, she’s Daisy’s best fri
end, which makes for a total bonus. The first thing I’m going to do is apologize for being so ridiculous. I want Owen to be happy. I realize now that he has room in his heart for the both of us.
Grant gives my hand a squeeze as we enter the cafeteria where Aubree will join us shortly.
“What if she freaks?” He glances back the way we came in as if piecing together an exit strategy.
“She won’t. She’s actually pretty reasonable these days.” I grimace at the words. No matter how I slice Aubree, I can’t help but feel like I’m being disrespectful to his sister.
“It’s okay.” He wraps his arm around my shoulder. “I’d be more than thrilled if she were reasonable these days.”
Aubree enters through the large double doors, giggling at the sight of us, an ear-to-ear grin on her face at the prospect of meeting the boy I’ve been stealing kisses from. On second thought, maybe I should have told her who I was bringing to meet her. I’d do anything if I could turn down the volume on her perky, bubbly self.
She has her hair combed neat, and a swath of color on her lips. She gives a spastic wave at Grant, making it obvious she’s elated to see him.
Owen is the first to greet her, but she practically dives past him and onto Grant.
“It’s so nice to meet you!” She beams. Aubree’s eyes are twin emeralds, large and round as quarters. Aubree has always been a stunning beauty, and prison hasn’t changed that all too much. “Ava has only said the nicest things about you. Please”—she motions to the table—“have a seat.” Aubree’s hospitality toward Grant is so charming you’d think she were offering him a seat in her own home, and in a lot of ways that’s true. But I’m not too sure Grant will ever be charmed by the woman who took his beloved sister’s life.
Grant nods with a warm smile. “It’s nice to meet you, too.” He sounds genuine, unreserved, and already the two of them have put me at ease. But how can he mean it? I know this is hard for him. As much as I don’t want it to, it has to be killing him on some level.