Chapter 17
The brief rain shower hadn’t done much to cool the stifling afternoon heat, but Kate didn’t mind. It had, after all, settled the dust and left a fresh new feeling in the air. Kate breathed deeply as she walked along, dressed in a yellow cotton sundress and white sandals, her house key and a twenty-dollar bill stuffed into the pocket of her skirt, just in case something special caught her eye. She had no definite destination in mind, but when the rain had stopped and the bright, hot sun had reappeared overhead, the restlessness that had plagued her for weeks suddenly got the best of her. With Jason gone to Mikey’s for the afternoon, she had impulsively decided on a nice, long walk.
“Nothing better than a walk to clear out the cobwebs,” her father had always said to her. Kate couldn’t remember her mother ever joining them on their walks, but the times she and her father had spent strolling the streets of Cedar City and hiking the trails around Panquitch Lake were some of her fondest childhood memories.
Dad. Will I ever get over missing you...or Mom, or Tony? Will I ever get over wishing I were a little girl again, safe and secure, walking hand-in-hand with my father? Will I ever feel like a whole person, someone with a purpose, rather than someone who’s been left behind and abandoned by everyone she ever loved?
“The Lord has called you like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit.”
She stopped. Where had that thought come from? She remembered having heard it in church, of course, but why would she think of it now? She picked up her pace, determined to ignore any further reminders of last Sunday’s sermon.
“With great mercies I will gather you.”
Kate resisted the temptation to clamp her hands over her ears. Not only would it look ridiculous as she walked down the street, but she knew it wouldn’t help one bit. She couldn’t shut out the words because they came from within. From her mind? Her heart? She couldn’t be sure.
“Great shall be the peace of your children.”
Startled, she began to run, but stopped when one of her sandals slipped off. As she bent down to retrieve it, she realized she was less than a block away from The Book Worm. Suddenly, she wanted more than anything to see a familiar face—and as much as she hated to admit it, there was no face she would rather see right now than Mark’s.
I’ll just go in for a book, she told herself. Nothing else. I need a few minutes to gather myself together, to regroup, to put these crazy thoughts out of my mind. It’s not like it’s a personal visit or anything. If he asks me for a date—church, pizza, anything—I’ll say no. I need some time in between our get-togethers, even though Jason would be happy if we spent time with Mark every single day—which, of course, is not going to happen.
Stella, the same overweight, middle-aged saleswoman Kate had seen in the store on earlier visits, stood waiting behind the counter. She smiled and nodded at Kate, then turned and looked down at the floor, toward the other end of the counter, saying something Kate couldn’t quite understand. Just then Mark’s somewhat flushed face peered up over the counter at her, and he grinned.
“Hey, nice surprise,” he said, pulling himself up to a standing position. “And you’re just in time. You can help me sort through this new shipment of children’s books that just arrived from back East.”
Kate walked toward him, returning his grin in spite of herself. “Sounds like more of a job for Jason then for me,” she said.
“You’re probably right,” Mark agreed. “Didn’t he come with you?”
“No, I left him to play for a while at Mikey’s. I’m just out taking an afternoon walk.”
“And you ended up here.” Mark’s blue eyes sparkled as his smile widened. “I’m glad.”
Kate felt her face redden as she noticed Stella watching them. “Well, actually,” Kate said, clearing her throat and trying her best to sound aloof and disinterested, “I only stopped in to pick up another book. I’ve finished that historical series, you know, and—”
“Liked it, didn’t you?” Mark asked, still smiling. “I knew you would.” He came out from behind the counter and took Kate gently by the elbow. “But wait until you see what else I’ve got for you. Remember I mentioned another author I was sure you’d enjoy, one who writes primarily about contemporary issues?” Once again, he led her over to the inspirational section.
Here we go again, Kate thought. Why does this man feel it’s his own personal mission in life to see that I’m inspired all the time? Can’t he be satisfied to sell me something that will simply entertain me? She had to admit, however, that she truly had enjoyed the series Mark had recommended, so maybe he was right about this other author, too.
“Here,” he said, handing her a softbound book with a cover-picture of a blonde woman standing on a windswept beach. A handsome but dejected looking dark-haired man stood off in the distance, holding some sort of flower. It made her think of herself and Lyle Montgomery, and she immediately decided she was not going to like the book.
“What’s it about?” Kate asked. “It looks like a romance or—”
Mark flashed his brilliant smile at her once more, then winked playfully. “What’s the matter? You got something against romance?”
Kate felt her face go crimson this time, and she wondered if she would ever outgrow this childish tendency to blush constantly, though she had to admit that she’d seen Mark do the same thing on occasion. “No, of...of course not,” she stammered. “I just wondered... I mean, I...”
“I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised,” Mark assured her. “And, yes, there is an element of romance in the book, but that’s not really what it’s about. It’s actually a book about new beginnings, about God’s faithfulness and unchanging love, about His grace and mercy toward us.”
“With great mercies I will gather you.”
There it was again. This talk about God’s love and mercy and peace was beginning to get on Kate’s nerves. Maybe all that was true in Mark’s life, but she had certainly never seen any evidence of it in her own.
“Do you want anything else?” Mark asked. “Something for Jason, maybe?”
Kate shook her head. She didn’t really even want the book Mark had already handed to her, but she decided it would be easier to pay for it and leave, rather than try to explain her reasons for not wanting to read or talk about all of God’s wonderful, if somewhat elusive, attributes.
“No, this will be fine,” she said, turning to walk toward the counter as she dug the twenty-dollar bill out of her pocket. “I’ll bring Jason by another time. I...I really need to get back home now and start dinner.”
“Would you like me to drive you?” Mark offered as he rang up the sale. “Stella can mind the store for a few minutes while I’m gone.”
“Oh, no,” Kate said. “It’s not that far, you know. And besides, I love to walk.”
Mark’s clear blue eyes held hers as he handed her the change. He’s going to ask me for a date, she thought. I can tell. What should I do? What should I say? I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but...
“Well, enjoy your walk,” Mark said cheerfully, closing the cash register.
Kate was stunned. That’s it? That’s all he’s going to say? But I was so sure....
Flustered, she turned toward the door, leaving the package with her new book sitting on the counter behind her. As she walked outside, the late afternoon sunshine hit her directly in the eyes and she squinted, wishing she had thought to bring her sunglasses.
I still can’t believe he didn’t ask me for a date. Not that I would have accepted, she reminded herself, stepping down from the curb into the crosswalk. Still, I thought—
“Kate, look out!”
She heard him scream her name a split-second before he grabbed her from behind, pulling her back up onto the curb as an old red pickup truck went roaring past them, careening wildly around the corner, only inches from where she and Mark now stood on the sidewalk.
“Kate! Oh, Kate, are you all right?”
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She turned to face him just as his arms wrapped around her and pulled her close. She couldn’t be sure whether it was his heart or hers she felt beating wildly, madly, between them.
“Yes,” she gasped. “I’m all right, Mark—thanks to you.” She looked up at him. His brow was furrowed with concern. “I didn’t see him coming. The sun was in my eyes, and I...I guess I wasn’t paying attention.”
Mark shook his head slightly. “Maybe,” he said. “But that guy was driving like a maniac. I saw him, Kate. It was almost as if...as if he were trying to run you down on purpose. I sure wish I’d thought to get the license number.”
Kate felt the blood drain from her face. Impossible! It couldn’t be, could it? But why? Why? So many unanswered questions.
“Come on,” Mark said. “I’m taking you home.”
Kate no longer had the strength to argue. Her legs felt like rubber, and she leaned gratefully on Mark as they walked toward his Jeep in the parking lot behind the store.
Opening the front door on the passenger side, Mark gazed down at Kate before helping her inside. “If you hadn’t forgotten your book... If I hadn’t seen it or come out when I did... Oh, Kate, if anything had happened to you...”
He handed her the book, then softly, gently, he kissed her cheek and helped her up onto the front seat. As she waited for him to come around to the driver’s side and climb in beside her, she lightly touched her cheek, sure she could still feel the warmth of his lips on her skin.
“With great mercies I will gather you.”
No! she cried silently, fighting the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. No, God. Don’t you see? I can’t. I just can’t. I’m so afraid....