It had been a long morning, and Kate felt drained, emotionally and physically. By the time Jason had finally rolled out of bed a little after ten, Kate had taken the phone off the hook to discourage anymore calls. Mark, of course, had phoned first, just after Lyle had left, in fact, and his had been one of the few calls she had welcomed. Then there had been Mrs. Johnson, followed by John Mansfield from the bank, two reporters, the police…. She needed a break.
But now, with Jason having gone over to Mikey’s to play, the house was quiet. Deathly quiet, Kate thought, as she lay sprawled out across her unmade bed, hoping to get some much-needed rest. For a moment, the quiet was so unnerving that she considered putting the receiver back on the hook.
No, she told herself. I need some uninterrupted time alone...to think and...
Suddenly, she wished with all her heart that she had thought to bring back her family albums from the lake. But they were still in the back of the SUV where she had thrown them the night before.
It would be so comforting to sit here and look through those pictures, she thought. To remember what it was like when I was little...safe and loved and protected.
A vague sense of melancholy and longing washed over her as suddenly, inexplicably, her mind zeroed in on an almost forgotten part of her life, a time she had tried desperately to blot from her memory, but even now seemed to be calling her to return, to come home.
“For the Lord has called you like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit.”
Kate squeezed her eyes shut, trying in vain to shut out the memories—memories of the church she had attended with Jason and Mark and his parents, and memories of another church and another time, as well. A little girl with golden curls and shining blue-gray eyes, sitting between her parents who adored her, all of them singing songs about Jesus, about His amazing grace and unending love. She had believed those words then, believed and trusted in them. Could she do it again? Was it possible to find that kind of faith and trust now, after all that had happened? And even if she could, would God be able to forgive her for all the years she had turned her back on Him and refused His love?
“With great mercies I will gather you.” No longer were the words from Isaiah empty and meaningless, echoing hauntingly through the dark canyons of her mind. She realized now that they were love messages from her heavenly Father, tugging at her heartstrings, calling her back to Him. She could deny the truth no longer.
“Father,” she whispered, her heart breaking within her as she slid to the floor and knelt beside her bed. “Oh, Father, forgive me for staying away so long.” As her tears flowed freely, she felt as if they were washing away all the accumulated loneliness and anger that she had harbored inside her for so many, many years. Even the fear of the future began to fade as she prayed. “Oh, Lord,” she said, “I just don’t know what to do with my life. But if you’ll show me what You want for me, and if You’ll help me, I will do what You ask.”
“Great shall be the peace of your children.”
By now her tears had become tears of joy, as the promise of God’s peace enveloped her like two strong, loving arms, welcoming her home at last.