Marcus made his way to his hammock, a small reminder of the comfortable bed that was currently occupied by a slight, warm body. An ironic smile eased across his face, followed by a slight grimace.
Marcus was troubled by his thoughts, troubled by the temptation he felt when he looked into her eyes. Conflicting feelings of guilt and desire overwhelmed him, as he tried to deny the inexplicable pull he felt for the elegant dock girl.
“Much on your mind, Cap'n?” Johnson's thin voice cut through Marcus' reverie. He looked up to see Johnson leaning against the wall, settled on the top of a crate.
Johnson was a wiry fellow, with a bright and cheerful perspective which often resulted in playful mockery from the other men. Still, he was unapologetic about his view of the world.
Marcus started gruffly, “Just the same as always, Johnson. Too many fools to keep in line on this ship.” Marcus looked up wryly to see Johnson smiling good-naturedly. “Ok,” Johnson nodded,
“Sure, Captain. I mean, all due respect, but if I was looking all googly- eyed like you, all because of sailors...” Johnson guffawed lightly, hoping he hadn't overstepped. A quick glance at the Captain showed him he had.
“Sorry, sir,” Johnson scrambled, worried his big mouth had finally done him in. He hopped off the box to escape Marcus' angry glare but was stopped. “Johnson, sit down,” the Captain came back forcefully. Johnson wiped his brow and turned around. Here we go, he thought.
Johnson sat on the crate and looked up anxiously. “Sir...” Johnson was surprised to see Marcus's chiseled face fall into his hands, as he tried to brush his hair out of his eyes. Marcus leaned over, staring at the wooden floor below as if in a trance. Johnson looked around awkwardly, unsure of what to do.
“I didn't mean to overstep, Cap'n. I imagine you're looking forward to seeing Lady Luciana again.” Johnson gulped, trying to figure out where he stood. The Captain's brooding attitude had him worried.
Marcus looked up distractedly, registering Johnson's words slowly. “I don't know, Johnson.” Marcus tried to smile, his thoughts whirling. “Luciana is a beautiful woman. Any man would be lucky to be in my place.”
Confusion washed over his face and Johnson looked at him with sudden understanding. He imagined few men on the Reliance had been able to avoid the distracting beauty and gentle demeanor of their female guest.
“You're just not sure that's a place you want to be.” Johnson said, questioningly. Johnson scratched his head, trying to imagine having a choice between two beautiful women. It was certainly nothing he'd ever have to worry about, but he could see that the Captain's dilemma was tearing him up.
“Well, I don't know much, sir, but I always try to go by that feeling in my gut.” Marcus looked up to see Johnson treading carefully. “A whole lotta people will tell you what's right for you, but you're the only one who can really answer that question.”
Marcus gave Johnson a terse smile, nodding to him. He felt the tension ease slightly, having acknowledged his confusion. But answers seemed just as far as ever.
Johnson relaxed a bit on his crate. “I've gotta girl back home. Her name's Sally.” He grinned with a child-like delight, recalling the washer girl with the airy voice and heart-shaped lips.
“Now how I got her to pay attention to me, I'll never know. But I'm sure glad she did.” The boat rocked lightly back and forth, and a long strand of moonlight made its way onto the floor through a porthole.
“She's not fancy or anything like that. No shiny dresses or balls for her, but that doesn't make her less of a goddess to me. There's just this light in her eyes, and when she talks, I feel like I'm the only man in the world.” Johnson could feel himself blush, knowing that if any of the other sailor's could hear him, he'd never hear the end of it. But he knew the Captain would never mock him.
Marcus smiled. He saw the look of young love on Johnson's face and it made him a bit jealous. The world he lived in wasn't as simple as that. It was never just two people who wanted to be together.
There were things to consider. His position in the Naval Fleet, his reputation on land. He had been a reckless, charming rogue for the longest time, melting women at the sight of his mischievous smile.
Luciana had been the first woman to hold his attention for longer than a month or two. He knew that anything that happened between the two of them would be fodder for every wagging tongue in London. And he was trying his best to be true and honest. Upstanding. Leaving Luciana out to dry would only make a mockery of them both.
Marcus sighed. He could feel something painful tearing inside him. He was duty-bound to be honorable. Not a rogue. So why did his thoughts betray him?
* * *
Kira awoke one day to find the whole ship in a stir. Excited yells and hollers from the men could be heard from her place in the galley. Kira wondered what had everyone stirred up. She waited patiently for Malcolm to show his bespectacled face, then proceeded to ask. “What's all the excitement for?”
Malcolm looked at her with new awareness and then smiled, as if remembering that she in fact did not actually belong there. “Port. The ship is going to port soon. London.”
Kira drew a deep, startled breathe. She'd never been to London but she'd heard such glorious things. She wondered if she would be freed. Or was she free already? Kira couldn't be sure but she felt an excitement and nervousness well up inside her.
Malcolm smiled patiently, then nodded at a large heap of carrots. “Stew..get to work.” Kira could feel her mind racing at the possibilities. And even as she started to imagine what London would be like, she felt a deep pang inside her chest. Her father was dead.
She had tried so hard to convince herself it had not been so, but there was no getting around it. He had died saving an innocent from a fate worse then death. He was a brave, brave man and she knew her mother would be proud. Kira felt a teardrop slide silently down her face when someone cleared their throat behind her.
Kira whirled around in embarrassment. Somehow Malcolm had slipped out while she was lost in thought. At the door to the galley, Marcus stood looking at her tentatively. Kira brushed the tear from her cheek, trying not to roll her eyes in frustration that he always seemed to find her crying.
“Captain...” Kira said, mustering up her most pleasant smile and voice. She tried her best to conceal the confusion and hurt she felt over his rejection. Her mind kept moving back to that awkward moment in her cabin, and Kira could feel herself growing red and flustered.
Marcus noticed the bright flush of her cheeks and felt his pulse start to race. He cleared his throat once again, trying to ignore her state of distress.
“Malcolm's told me you've become an invaluable aid down here in the galley...” he started, hearing the awkward cadence of his voice as he tried to make normal conversation. He took a step forward leaning against the long table in the middle of the room that was covered in vegetables.
Kira used the table as a shield, stepping back towards the far counter. “Oh, I'm just doing my job,” Kira said curtly, trying her best to avoid eye contact. I can get through this, she thought. Just don't look at him.
Kira knew all bets were off if she let her gaze lock on him, his gorgeous green eyes always bearing into her like the heat of the summer sun.
“Well, that's not what I hear...” Marcus started with a playful smile. Despite himself, he felt the urgent need to make her laugh, to fix this awkwardness that he had created. Still, Kira persisted in keeping her eyes down, fixed on an ever-dwindling carrot.
“The men haven't complained about the food for at least two weeks. That's a record.” He continued to grin at her, knowing she had to look up at some point.
“I...um,” Kira looked up to see his crinkled eyes laughing merrily. The sight of his smile hit her like a bucket of cold water, paralyzing her. She felt like she was being drawn in, despite her staunch effort to avoid his gaze.
Seeing his chance, Marcus flashed her the biggest grin he could. “Complaining about th
e food is most sailors' chief amusement. I can't tell you what you've done.”
Kira felt herself laughing despite herself. The image of the rough sailors, looking downtrodden because they had nothing to complain about seemed ridiculous to her. “Well, you know, my mother taught me a lot. How to make the most of any kind of food.”
Kira's eyes showed a flash of sentimentality as she recalled her mother's slender hands sorting precious herbs for their stew. Marcus' gaze settled on her lovely eyes, furrowed in a brief moment of reflection. He felt his heart constrict for a moment, too tightly to breathe.
Kira's eyes flashed up at him, realizing she had revealed more than she ever intended. The tender look on his sharp, chiseled face made her want to give up entirely. How could she pretend? Didn't he know it hurt? She dropped her eyes just as quickly, attempting to conceal her emotion.
“And, you know, it's just not that hard to outdo a man in the kitchen, “ Kira covered, trying to move on from the breathless feeling in her chest. She turned her back to him, reaching for more carrots in a slow and steady manner. She watched her hands, trying to still the soft shaking of her fingers as she resumed slicing.
Marcus felt deflated. He'd been making progress, but now she seemed as far away as ever. “Well, as the ship's captain, I thank you. It's a relief not to hear so many groans at dinnertime.” Kira turned with her head lowered. “Of course...Captain.”
Her insides whirled with restless, anxious thoughts. How the temptation to say his name ate at her. She could feel it on the tip of her tongue. Marcus. Marcus.
Kira forced herself to look up at him. His gaze was even, the gentleness she had seen there before now tightly hidden away. Kira forced a smile, doing her best to appear unaffected. She had no idea what she'd done wrong, no idea why he'd run from her before. And it was clear he had no intention of telling her.
“Well,” he said, his awkwardness returning. “Have a good day. I'm sure you're looking forward to docking. London will be here before you know it.” He nodded slightly, running his hands through his blonde hair and then slipped out the door.
Kira dropped the carrot she was holding and gripped the galley's wooden counter. London was coming. She could finally escape the terrifying proximity to this man. She blinked for a moment, telling herself with certainty that that was what she wanted.
* * *
The dusky darkness of evening was taking over as Kira returned to her bunk. She always felt nervous climbing onto the deck by herself after her run in with George. Still, she couldn't bring herself to ask Malcolm to walk her back.
Cautiously, Kira reached the top of the stairs and looked out across the deck. She couldn't see anyone but she listened intently for any signs of activity. The slight whistling of the wind through the sails made a haunting noise but nothing else seemed to disturb the quiet night.
She stepped onto the deck tentatively, scanning the area for danger. Her eyes stopped, though, when they came across a peculiar sight in the distance. There were lights flickering far across the water and Kira felt herself transfixed. What was she looking at?
She squinted for a moment, feeling the cool night breeze streaming across her neck. She shivered. Suddenly, a hand on her shoulder caused Kira to jump. She whirled around with her hands in front of her.
“Ah!” Kira shouted, alarmed. Marcus was standing on the deck, looking at her with a humorous light in his eyes. “You scared me.”
Marcus smiled lightly. “That wasn't my intention. Sorry.” His tell-tale gesture repeated itself, his hands running quickly through his hair. “Are you nervous to be out here alone?”
Kira looked at him uncomfortably. She had no interest in admitting her weakness, but he had already seen it a dozen times. “I guess...”
“You don't need to be afraid. I've told the men anyone who bothers you will have to answer to me. What happened with George...it won't happen again.” He looked at her sincerely, a faint hint of concern on his face.
“I- thank you.” Kira felt awkwardness begin to creep into her body and she averted her eyes. His gaze was just too intense.
“You saw the lights in the distance?”
“Yes, I was trying to figure out what it was.”
Marcus took a few steps towards the side of the boat, waving to Kira to follow. Leaning against the side of the ship, he pointed towards the lights.
“It's an island. We're docking tonight.”
Kira felt a thrill run through her. She'd never been anywhere outside of her home at the docks. Marcus glanced over at her as she smiled openly.
“What are we doing there?”
“There are a few supplies we need, and I thought I might leave George behind.”
Kira's eyes shot up to him uncertainly. His face was playfully serious.
“I'm kidding. We'll be delivering him to the authorities in London.”
“I don't care what you do with him, as long as he can't come near me.”
Marcus smiled at her tersely. “He won't. No man of mine can behave that way and get away with it...What did you do, before?”
“What? To protect myself?” Kira felt her cheeks blushing as he acknowledged the general danger she faced as a dock girl.
“Well, I mean, I lived with my father. You just learn, you learn how it is. You learn when to be outside and when to stay huddled indoors.” She shivered a little as she thought about the characters she'd often dodged on the docks.
“But you would go places alone?”
Kira smiled. “Of course. I had no choice. My father was getting sicker. And we needed food.”
Marcus watched her intensely and Kira felt herself growing red.
“How...how did you...”
“How did I get kidnapped by pirates?”
Marcus smiled wryly, “Yes...how did you get kidnapped by pirates?”
“My father...he was so weak but we-we had no money for food. So sometimes, he would try to take work. Just enough to make sure we didn't starve. Anyway, I came to the docks to bring him bread and...”
Kira's eyes welled up with tears as she replayed the brutal beating she had witnessed. Her father had been like a broken rag doll, limp from the pirate's brutality. She felt emotion choke her as she tried to blink away the painful image.
Marcus cleared his throat awkwardly. “I'm sorry...You don't have to talk about it.” Hesitantly, he reached out a hand to comfort her. Kira felt the weight of his hand on her shoulder and tried to muster a nod in his direction.
“They were beating him. They were...they were beating him so hard. And he was just trying to help that girl.” She wiped a tear from her cheek, looking at out the water in an attempt to hide her emotions.
“What girl?”
“There was a blonde girl, my age I guess. And they would have taken her if it weren't for my father.”
“He's a hero.” Marcus said solemnly, watching Kira with focused attention. Emotion welled in Kira's throat and her eyes flooded with liquid once again.
“He was a hero. He's dead.” Kira bit her lip in a desperate attempt at quelling the sadness that was threatening to escape through her eyes. She glanced up at Marcus to see his eyes had gone dark, his eyebrows furrowed.
Slowly, Marcus inched closer to her, putting his arm around her shoulder. His closeness didn't faze Kira in that moment. Even though he'd rejected her, she couldn't bring herself to refuse the comfort he was offering her now. There was just too much pain to shoulder alone.
She allowed herself to collapse against his chest, the warmth of his embrace soothing the grief she felt inside. Her father was gone. There was no going back. She would have to make a way for herself now.
* * *
Kira returned to her bunk and waited anxiously for the ship to dock. Every few minutes, she would listen at the door to see if she could hear a commotion above. She expected the sailors would be delighted to be on land after so many weeks at sea.
She rubbed her hands over her arms, remembering the heat of
Marcus' comforting embrace. She wanted to hate him for toying with her, but she couldn't find it in her. Everything about her life had been thrown upside down and she found herself looking to him for a sense of relief and safety. She realized that he was the closest thing to a friend that she had.
A rap at the door startled Kira and she took a quick step back. The door opened and Marcus stood there looking at her. “We're going ashore. Come with me. You can't stay here alone.”
Kira nodded, feeling a slight bit of embarrassment when she remembered him holding her. He was all business now and looked very serious.
“Alright.”
Kira followed him on deck where several sailors were disembarking. She could see a small dock leading up to the island, densely covered in trees. A few small lamps hung from the narrow dock. As they walked across the rickety platform, Kira could hear noises in the trees. She shivered slightly as a breeze ran through her hair.
“You alright?” Marcus glanced back at her with the same stern look in his eyes.
“I'm fine.” Kira picked up her pace as they moved off the dock and onto a small path. She heard the shouts of several gleeful sailors up ahead and soon they came onto a street lined with several worn down buildings. There were a few dubious-looking characters loitering the streets and Kira could hear boisterous noises from a small tavern that was glowing dimly in the distance.
“Are we staying here tonight?” Kira looked around nervously.
Marcus looked at her and seemed to notice her discomfort. “Don't worry, you'll be alright.” He glanced over at her and saw fear in her eyes.
Placing his hand firmly on her arm, Marcus led her towards the tavern. They slipped through a small wooden door into a crowded room with low ceilings. There was a general layer of sound covering the room, as sailors and various types sat huddled at tables or laughed raucously over drinks. Several of the sailor's from the Reliance were already enjoying their time ashore at a table in the corner of the room.
Kira noticed the glances of several unkempt characters from across the tavern and she laced her arm through Marcus' nervously. He glanced at her with a startled expression until he saw the look on her face.
“Are you alright?”
Kira smiled nervously. “I...it just makes me nervous. These kinds of people.”