“Don’t try it,” Chase said.
Instead of making a grab for the brass poker, Linski snatched something off the mantel, from beside an ormolu clock: a silencer-fitted pistol.
The clock had hidden it.
Ben stepped forward as Linski brought the weapon up, but he did not move quite fast enough. The bullet took him in the left shoulder and twisted him sideways, off balance, and into the floor lamp.
He fell, taking the lamp with him. Both bulbs smashed when they struck the floor, plunging the room into near-total darkness that was relieved only by the weak light from distant streetlamps outside and the faint glow from the kitchen.
“Fornicator,” Judge whispered.
Ben’s shoulder felt as if a nail had been driven into it, and his arm was half numb. He lay still, playing dead in the dark.
“Chase?”
Ben waited.
Linski stepped away from the mantel, bent forward as he tried to make out Ben’s body in the jumble of shadows and furniture. Ben couldn’t be certain, but he thought the killer was holding the pistol straight out in front of him, like a teacher holding a pointer toward a chalkboard.
“Chase?”
Weak, trembling, cold, sweating, Ben knew that shock accounted for his sudden weakness more than the wound did. He could overcome shock.
“How’s our hero now?” Judge asked.
Chase launched himself at Linski, ignoring the flash of pain in his shoulder.
The pistol fired—the whoosh of the silencer was clearly audible in such close quarters—but Ben was under the weapon by then, and the round passed over him, shattering glass at the other end of the room.
He dragged Linski down, past the fireplace, into the television, which toppled off its stand. It struck the wall and then the floor with two solid thumps, though the screen did not shatter.
The pistol flew from Linski’s hand and clattered into the gloom.
Ben bore Linski all the way down onto the floor and drove a knee into his crotch.
With a dry and nearly silent scream of pain, Linski tried to throw Ben off, but he couldn’t manage more than a weak shudder of protest.
Ben’s wounded shoulder seemed afire. In spite of the pain, he throttled Linski with both hands, unerringly finding the right pressure points with his thumbs, as he’d been trained, applying as little pressure as possible but enough to put Linski out.
Getting to his feet, swaying like a drunk, Ben fumbled in the darkness until he found a lamp that hadn’t been knocked over.
Linski was on the floor, unconscious, his arms out like wings at his sides, as if he were a bird that had fallen from the sky and broken its back on a thrust of rock.
Ben wiped his face with one gloved hand. His stomach, knotted with fear, now loosened too quickly, and he felt as if he might be sick.
Outside, a car full of shouting teenagers went by, screeched at the corner, sounded its horn, and peeled off with a squeal of rubber.
Ben stepped across Richard Linski and looked out the window. There was no one in sight. The lawn was dark. The sounds of the struggle had not carried any distance.
He turned from the window and listened to Linski’s breathing. Shallow but steady.
A quick examination of his shoulder indicated that the bullet probably had passed straight through. He wasn’t bleeding much, but he’d have to take a closer look at the wound as soon as possible.
In the half bath off the kitchen, he found two rolls of first-aid adhesive tape, enough to securely bind Linski. He dragged the killer into the kitchen and bound him to one of the breakfast chairs.
In the master bathroom, Chase took off his gloves and set them aside to avoid getting them bloody. He stripped out of his blood-soaked shirt and dropped it into the sink.
He took a bottle of rubbing alcohol from the medicine cabinet. When he poured it into the wound, he nearly passed out in agony. For a while he bent over the sink, paralyzed by the pain.
When he could move again, he packed the wound with wads of paper towels until the bleeding slowed even further. He slapped a washcloth over the wound and then wound wide adhesive tape over the entire mess. It wasn’t a professional bandage, but it would ensure that he didn’t get blood over everything.
In the bedroom, he took one of Linski’s shirts from the closet and struggled into it. He was stiffening fast from the wound.
In the kitchen again, he found a box of large plastic garbage bags and brought one to the master bathroom. He dropped his bloody shirt into it. He used paper towels to wipe his blood off the sink and the mirror, and threw those in the garbage bag when he was done. Standing in the doorway, pulling on his gardening gloves, he studied the bathroom, decided that there was no trace of what he had done, turned off the light, and closed the door.
On his way downstairs, he stumbled and had to grab the railing for support. A spell of vertigo pulled a spinning darkness into the edges of his vision—but then it passed.
Judge’s second shot had missed Chase, but it had thoroughly smashed a three-foot-square ornamental mirror that had hung on the wall above the bar at the far end of the living room. All the glass had fallen out of the ornate bronze frame, and fragments were scattered over a six-foot radius. In five minutes he had picked up all the major shards, but hundreds of slivers still sparkled in the nap of the carpet and in the upholstery of nearby chairs.
He was considering this problem when Richard Linski awoke and called out.
Ben went to the chair in the kitchen. Linski’s wrists were taped to the arms, each ankle to a chair leg. He twisted and tried to break free, but stopped when he realized that he wouldn’t be able to pull loose.
Ben said, “Where is your vacuum sweeper?”
“What?” Linski was still groggy.
“Vacuum.”
“What do you want that for?”
Ben threatened to backhand him.
“In the cellarway,” Linski said.
Ben took the vacuum to the living room and swept up every piece of shattered mirror that caught his attention. Fifteen minutes later, satisfied with the job that he’d done, he put the sweeper away again, just as he had found it.
He secreted the damaged mirror frame in a corner of the garage, behind a stack of other junk.
“What are you doing?” Judge asked.
Ben didn’t answer him.
In the living room again, he replaced the television on its stand, plugged it in, switched it on. A situation comedy was playing, one of those in which the father is always an idiot and the mother is little better. The kids are cute monsters.
Afraid that his spells of dizziness were soon going to progress to disorientation, Ben righted the overturned floor lamp and examined the metal shade. It was dented, but there was no way to tell that the dent was new. He unscrewed the damaged lightbulbs; along with the larger scraps of the broken mirror, he threw them into the plastic garbage bag on top of the bloody shirt and paper towels. He used the pages of a magazine to scoop up the smaller pieces, and threw those and the magazine into the garbage bag.
Returning to the kitchen, Ben said, “Where do you keep spare lightbulbs?”
“Go to hell.”
Ben noticed that there were no red marks on the skin over Linski’s carotid arteries. The pressure had been pinpoint and too briefly applied to produce bruises.
Without Linski’s help, Ben required almost five minutes to find the spare lightbulbs in the back of a kitchen cabinet. He screwed two new 60-watt bulbs into the living-room lamp. The lamp lit when he switched it on.
In the kitchen again, he got a bucket of water, soap, ammoniated cleanser, and a carton of milk—his mother’s favorite spot remover—from the refrigerator. Back in the living room, with several rags and a sponge, he worked on the few small smears of his blood that marred the carpet. When he was done, the faint stubborn stains that remained were all but invisible in the long dark-brown nap. The room wouldn’t have to pass a full forensic investigation, anyway. As long as it
appeared that nothing had happened there, the police wouldn’t take a closer look.
He put the cleaning materials away. He threw the rags into the garbage bag with the other items.
After that, he stood in the center of the room and slowly searched it for traces of the fight. The only thing that might draw anyone’s suspicion was the pale, soot-ringed square where the ornate mirror had hung.
Ben pulled the two picture hangers out of the wall; they left small nail holes behind. He used a handful of paper towels to wipe away most of the dirty ring, successfully feathering the dirt to blend the lighter and darker portions of the wall. It was still obvious that something had hung there, though one might now think that it had been removed several months ago.
After locating the pistol that had flown out of Linski’s hand, Ben returned to the kitchen. “I have some questions to ask you.”
“Fuck you,” Linski said.
Ben put the muzzle of the pistol against the bridge of his captive’s nose.
Linski stared. Then: “You wouldn’t.”
“Remember my war record.”
Linski paled but still glared at him.
“The silencer’s homemade. Is this something the average physics teacher does for a hobby?”
“It’s part of what we learn in the Alliance. Survival skills.”
“Real Boy Scouts, huh?”
“It may be funny to you, but someday you’ll be glad we taught ourselves good defense. Guns, explosives, lock picking—everything we’ll need for the day when the cities burn and we have to fight for our race.”
“What does the Aryan Alliance have to do with this, anyway?”
Linski’s manner changed. He grew less arrogant and nervously licked his lips.
“I’ve got to understand what’s going on. I have to know if they’re going to come after me,” Ben said, “this whole crazy group. And if they are—why? What did I step into the middle of when I pulled you out of that car on lovers’ lane?”
When Linski didn’t reply, Ben put the muzzle of the pistol against his right eye, so he could look directly into the barrel.
Linski sagged in the chair. A sudden despair seized him. “It goes back a way.”
“What does?”
“The Aryan Alliance.”
“Tell me.”
“We were in our twenties then.”
“We?”
“Lora, Harry. Me.”
“Karnes? His parents?”
“That’s how we met. Through the Alliance.”
The connection so surprised Ben that he wondered if he were hallucinating the conversation. The pain in his shoulder had spread to his neck and up the back of his skull.
“They fell on hard times. Harry out of work. Lora was ill. But they had … the boy.”
“Mike.”
“He was a beautiful child.”
Ben knew, didn’t want to hear, had no choice but to listen.
“An exquisitely beautiful child,” said Linski, clearly seeing the boy in his mind’s eye. “Three, almost four years old.”
Ben no longer pressed the pistol to Linski’s eye. Now that he had started, the killer would need no encouragement to continue. His entire demeanor had changed—and he almost seemed relieved to be forced to this confession. He was unburdening himself for his own sake more than Ben’s.
“I had some money, a trust fund. Lora and Harry needed money … and I needed what they had.”
“They sold him to you.”
“They set a high price for a night now and then,” Linski said.
“His own parents,” Ben said, remembering Lora and Harry Karnes and the enigmatic needlepoint quotations on their living-room walls.
“A high price in more ways than one.”
“How long did that go on?” Ben asked.
“Less than a year. Then … remorse, you know.”
“You realized it was wrong?”
“Them.” Linski’s voice, gray with despair, was briefly enlivened by sarcasm: “They had the money they needed, they were out of their financial trouble … so they were in a better position to find their misplaced scruples. They denied me the boy and told me to stay away forever. He was such a little angel. Forever, they said. It was so difficult. They threatened to tell others in the Alliance that I’d molested Mikey without their knowledge. There are some members who would take me out in the woods and shoot me in the back of the head if they knew what I am. I couldn’t risk exposure.”
“And all these years …”
“I watched Mikey from a distance,” Linski said. “Watched him as he grew up. He was never again as beautiful as when he’d been so young, so innocent. But I was growing older and hated growing older. Year by year, I became more aware that I’d never have … never have anyone … anything as beautiful as Mikey again. He was always there to remind me of the best time of my life, the brief best time of my life.”
“How did you manage to get the tutoring job? Why would he come to you of all people?”
“He didn’t remember me.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes. That was a terrible realization… knowing that every kindness I’d shown him was forgotten … every tenderness forgotten. I think he forgot not just me but everything that happened … being touched, being adored … when he was four.”
Ben didn’t know if his worsening nausea was a result of his wound or of Linski’s strange characterization of the molestation.
The killer sighed with regret. “What do any of us remember from that far back? Time steals everything from us. Anyway, when he needed a tutor, he came to me because I was on the list the school gave him. Maybe it was a subconscious recollection of my name that made him choose me. I’d like to think he still held some memory of me even if he wasn’t aware of it. However, I think it was really just pure chance. Fate.”
“So you told him what you’d done to him when he was little?”
“No. No, no. But I tried … to reawaken his desire.”
“It was focused on girls by then.”
“He shunned me,” Linski said, not with anger, not in a cold mad voice, but with deep sadness. “And then he told his parents, and they threatened me again. My hope was raised, you see … raised and then shattered forever. It was so unfair to have it raised and then … nothing. It hurt.”
“Lora and Harry … they must have suspected you killed him.”
“Who’re they to point a finger?” Linski said.
“They gave me your name.”
Ben thought of the way in which they had directed him toward Linski: Harry pretending to recall the tutor’s name only with effort, getting it only half right, and Lora correcting him. Too gutless to violate the sixth commandment and seek the vengeance they wanted, they had contrived to see in Ben the hand of God and had deviously pointed him toward this man.
“I should have passed judgment on Harry and Lora too,” Linski said but without anger. “For letting the boy become what he became.”
“It had nothing to do with what the boy had become. You killed him because you couldn’t have him.”
In a still, solemn voice, Linski said, “No. That isn’t it at all. Don’t you see? He was a fornicator. Don’t you understand? I couldn’t bear to see what Mikey had become over the years. Once so innocent … and then just as filthy as anyone, as filthy as all of us, a filthy and callow fornicator. Seeing what he became … in a way that soiled me, soiled the memories of what we’d once had. You can understand that.”
“No.”
“It soiled me,” Linski repeated, his voice gradually growing softer. He seemed lost and far away. “Soiled me.”
“And what you did with him … that wasn’t sin, wasn’t filthy?”
“No.”
“Then what?”
“Love.”
War was waged to make peace. Abuse was love. Welcome to the funhouse, where strange mirrors reflect the faces of Hell.
Ben said, “Would you have killed the girl with him?”
“Yes. If I’d had time. But you interrupted. And then … I just didn’t care about her so much any more.”
“She was a witness. If she’d seen anything …”
Linski shrugged.
“All your anger turned toward me.”
“You being a hero,” Judge said cryptically.
“What?”
“You being the war hero … what did that make me?”
“I don’t know. What did it make you?”
“The villain, the monster,” he said, and tears welled in his eyes. “Until you showed up, I was clean. I was judgment. Just passing judgment. But you’re the big hero … and every hero has to have a monster to slay. So they made me the monster.”
Ben said nothing.
“I was only trying to preserve the memory of Mikey the way he was so long ago. The pure innocence that he was. Preserve it. Is that so bad?”
Finally, Linski sobbed.
Ben could not bear the weeping.
The killer huddled pathetically in the chair, trying to lift his taped hands so that he could bury his face in them.
The trial. The press. Unending publicity. Back into the attic room to escape. And Linski, huddled and pathetic, would never spend time in a prison. A mental hospital, yes, but not prison. Innocent by reason of insanity.
He put one hand on Linski’s head, smoothed his hair.
Linski leaned into the comforting touch.
“Everybody’s damaged,” Chase said.
Linski looked up at him through tears.
“Some are just damaged too much. Far too much.”
“I’m sorry,” Linski said.
“It’s okay.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Open wide for me.”
Linski knew what was coming. He opened his mouth.
Ben put the muzzle between Linski’s teeth and pulled the trigger. He dropped the gun and turned away from the dead man, walked into the hall, and opened the bathroom door. He put up the lid of the toilet bowl, dropped to his knees, and vomited. He remained on his knees for a long time before he could control the spasms that racked him. He flushed the toilet three times. He put the lid down and sat on it, blotting the cold sweat on his face with his gloved hands.
Having won the Congressional Medal of Honor, the most sacred and jealously guarded award his country bestowed, he had wanted nothing more than to return to the attic room in Mrs. Fielding’s house and resume his penitence.
Then he met Glenda, and things changed. There was no question about living as