As I opened my eyes prematurely, I heard the voices say we will be with you at all times.
“How will I find them all? There will be too many for me to handle?”
“It’s okay, you will never have to carry a burden that is too heavy. There will be others. You must take care of those within your atmosphere. They will find you. Remember do what you can when you can without jeopardizing your own safety. It is dangerous to take on too much at one time. Are you ready?
“Yes”, I said. But no, I thought to myself. This cannot be. We can derail the flow of the universe by either forcing an event into existence that was not meant to be at that time or by doing nothing at all.
We have no idea of the impact that our actions may have on the world. We didn’t think about the resistance that we may encounter or the ramifications felt by all. Based on Larry’s ordeal the answer doesn’t lie in retribution. It is about understanding.
We must comfort the hurt because hurt people hurt people. We have to put an end to hurt. Putting an end to evil will be an ongoing battle. However, there are those that were not meant to harm others. They only hurt people because they see it no other way. They believe it to be a means to survive. These are the people we have to protect and guide. They, like us, will not live up to their potential because they will be distracted and destroyed by hurt, betrayal, and apathy. If this happens we will fail and regress back to our primitive state controlled not by love but by ignorance.
This is what I must remember but remembering is the hardest and most frightening thing. Suppose I remembered something that I didn’t want to remember. Suppose the process of remembering prevent me from accomplishing my goal. Or supposed I forget everything. Where would I be then but in the same place I was before? How I wish that I had more time to contemplate but now I had to stop thinking and just be. I felt a surge of energy injected into me. The sea of colors that I saw while leaving this plane, I began to see again. I saw the light. It blinded me for a while but my body began to adjust. The eyes can only see what the mind can comprehend. My mind was receptive to all that made everything possible. It was fully aware of its surroundings and could see beyond the naked eye. My thoughts were creating what existed. This time as I got closer to the universe the independent colors were distinguished by assorted hues of light. Slowly, I saw my own developing. My body has fully formed and I began to breathe again. I mean really breathe as if I were the air itself. I could also feel again. I became sensitive to the touch. I am alive. As long as I remember my cause there will be no sorrow for me this time. Worries and fears will mean nothing. I am the happy medium- a new soul with the wisdom of the old. It all makes sense. The blood trickling down my throat, the struggle to taste, hear and see are all the feelings felt when you are in the process of being born. I was never dying I am experiencing birth. Death and birth is the identical. These figures were figments of what is called imagination. They were illusions presented to me beforehand so I would know them when I see them. I would then be responsible for not allowing what was told to me to occur. I am their inner voice- the soul- the guardian angel. The most frustrating thing about this situation is not being able to speak. I need a voice. I need to tell them what I wanted to tell them before. I want to tell them what truly matters before I forget like those before me. All these people around me are no longer strangers. I know who they are and they must be reminded. I need them. Their energy is keeping me alive.
With every breath, I intake a little of them all. Through a mirror I look into my keeper’s eyes and can see her entire life from beginning to end. She is a remarkable woman. She is unaware of her own presence. She hides her smile. I know life has been hard for her but things will change soon. I will make sure of that. I will change her future by guiding her present day actions. I will you my knowledge to lead her away from what could have been a disastrous life. Trust few but love many is what I need to tell her. These words will stop the heartache and pain in her life. It feels good to know that you are about to make a change in the world. I hear “I love you” whispered into the ear of a child. Although I cannot yet comprehend the words, the feeling it gives is undeniable. Attaching the word to the feeling will come in time. Yet the baby cries because it wants more of her love but she puts it down. She has others to attend to, including the father. He picks up the child and throws it into the air. It flies for a while. And he holds it. His hold is different. It feels awkward to the child. It wants its mother’s attention so it cries for her again. She looks over at it and takes it into her arms. The father walks away but not without giving the mother a look of disapproval.“They are going to love you more than me,” he says to my mother. The mother gives a clever smirk in reply because she knows it is true. It will be like this until I am able to speak. I am quickly becoming aware of everything around me. Even the small gestures of people are not beyond my comprehension anymore. All it takes is observation. Mistakes will happen this I know. But I know how to jump over these hurdles and keep in stride with all that surrounds me. I am catching onto life at a rather astonishing pace. I will succeed. The key is to remember me. I must remember me.