The question irritated Drake, fighting anger and disappointment as he supported Garth's weight. He half wished the Little People hadn't stepped in to prevent him killing Garth. They didn't. They prevented Garth killing Josephine.
Irritation faded into gratitude. Though circumstance and the division between their worlds and races would keep him from being with her, at least he could know she was alive. At least she hadn't been struck down by Garth's sword, as he'd thought she surely would be in that split second interval before the Little People had swarmed the other Elf and pressed him back, dosing him with their poison as they did so.
And that gave him a perverse satisfaction, too. Had Garth not followed him, there'd be no urgency to return. At least he could have stayed in her company another too brief moment. But maybe he owed his old comrade a thank you for preventing that, after all. As much as it now pained him to leave her, might it not hurt worse still if he held her again?
And it did hurt-with a pain both sweet and sharp-knowing he'd walk through that portal and she would close it behind him, never to open again. He would never again hold her asleep and dreaming in his arms as he had last night. But she would be safe. She would live and love and eventually marry and have children to pass along the burden/privilege of guarding Galohisdi. Perhaps it was best. In fifty years, he would still be in his prime, but she would be aged or even dead.
But he knew in his heart, he could have lived off those fifty years for however many hundreds he had yet to live. Holding her, even for a brief time, would have made up for the loss of her in a way that living without her never could. He heaved a sigh and continued the trek forward.
"Where we going, man?" Garth's speech slurred against Drake's ear. He hoisted his friend's weight further onto his shoulders. The Elf shouldn't have been such a burden, but weighed down as he was by his own reluctance, Drake felt as if he were slogging through quicksand.
Reluctant or not, however, they were nearly to the clearing. Drake gritted his teeth. "Home."
Never had the word seemed less welcoming or desirable. Especially since Drake knew he didn't really have a home in Ayeli. He'd get Garth back there, knock him out and pull the Yundi Tsundi spears from his neck. And then he'd make his way into the mountains to hide for the rest of his-or Selwyn's-life.
He knew when he passed her though he couldn't see her where she hid in the bushes. He smelled her skin, could feel her presence. But he didn't falter. He kept going. Only when he stood just a few steps from the portal did he turn his head.
She stood just outside the tree line, her back straight, her hands clasped before her as if in prayer. His eyes met hers and he opened his mouth but he couldn't say goodbye, so he walked resolutely through the portal without looking back.