Rena looked down at her engagement ring. Bringing it close to her face, she examined the sparkle that illuminated from the yellow light. The small diamond rock glistened as she tilted her finger ever so slightly. She noticed the silver band embedded with scratches. Its natural sheen had been dimmed by daily wear. The ring had been on her finger for so long that it looked frazzled, just like her state of mind.
Rena touched the diamond with a stroke of saliva and polished it with a small handkerchief. Perfect. Except, her life was far from perfect. She was tired of waiting for Guy to be “ready”---ready to finally settle down with her. She knew that his need to hold onto his bachelorhood was just an excuse for him to look for someone better. It had to be the only reason. The strain of marriage would wear any man down.
Guy was a man of great passion. He had the enviable but insatiable desire to perfect himself through the martial arts. Her goals could hardly compare. Her only wish was to marry and rear a family. A simple dream, her only ambition. It had been her late mother’s wish to have at least one daughter embrace motherhood. Maki, Rena’s sister, hardly seemed the type to slow life down with children. She was headstrong and ruthless. Rena, on the other hand, was compliant and docile and determined to ensure that Guy didn’t have to change his fighting lifestyle just for her. Being his wife didn’t mean changing his life. She had already moved into his apartment in Los Angeles, but she kept out of his way.
Rena sighed, marking the calendar with yet another black cross. Guy hadn’t been the same since leaving his rogue life in Metro City.
“Not today then,” she breathed out sullenly, placing the thick marker back on the table with care. “Exactly seven years.”
Marking the calendar had almost become an anniversary in its own right. This was the day to mourn her current barren status, wondering further to when Guy would crack in resignation and meet her down the aisle.
She felt humiliated planning a wedding that hardly seemed likely to happen. She remembered buying her wedding dress at a boutique in Hawaii two years ago, anticipating that he would set the date during their vacation. But it wasn’t a retreat at all. Guy had been invited to fight at a tournament there, and was given a spare flight ticket for a guest. While he fought, she wept, lost amongst spectators who found it strange that a small Japanese girl could sob so outrageously. It was the biggest disappointment of her life, and it was ridiculous to think that today was going to be any different.
Rena grasped a smaller pen with the hand that had held the date marker, and she began to write.
I sincerely hope that a change will come about before you pass away. I know you spoke to him in trying to engage his mind to attend to more pressing needs. I cannot say whether your words meant anything at all. I mean no disrespect. I am more than convinced that he holds your words in the highest esteem. I simply say that I have not experienced any alteration in him.
Rena stopped writing, unsure whether to continue on this path. Her words seemed so strict and formal. Then, with much regret, she decided to follow through.
I always wonder whether he has spoken of someone else in his life besides me. I know the Bushin way teaches its students to honor their commitments, but these lengthy years have taught me that I can no longer be patient. I hope you understand that I cannot put my life on hold for a selfish man. Father, I ask for your help. I request that another arrangement be made, for the sake of your daughter’s happiness.
Glancing over the letter, Rena pouted her lips in frustration, then folded the paper into precise thirds and aimed it directly at the trashcan. She missed again.
How could she reveal her true feelings to her father? It was bad enough keeping her frustration from Guy, but to confess that she was weakened by the sheer toll of time? Her father would be more than disappointed, but she couldn’t keep quiet anymore, not unless Guy married her. She knew right this minute that he was training, again, for the third time this afternoon. He seemed unaware that she had taken the day off to spend time with him. Instead, he was transfixed by this obsession to learn more about the hidden powers of the martial arts, and he kept himself confined to the backyard with his training dummy alone.
He was just too unbearably selfish, Rena decided in the end. She couldn’t possibly wait any longer for him to make up his mind and set the date. It was about time she took her life back into her own hands.
“30th February,” she murmured, half-laughing. Not quite a leap year, but it was a date nonetheless. If the marriage was meant to be, then a real date would appear soon enough. At this rate, she would be waiting forever. “I guess I’ll just clean,” she said aloud, picking up a yellow feather duster.
Upon a quick inspection, Rena found the room was already immaculate. The lamp was at a perfect right angle on the bedside table, the sunset-orange bedding was smooth, and the dark blue curtains had been beaten free of dust. Rena laughed quietly, feeling out of place in Guy’s American lifestyle. Los Angeles was a dangerous city compared to the quietitude of Minou. Rena felt like going home, back to Japan, but this little place Guy owned had to be her home too.
“What’s so funny, babes?”
Rena jumped, startled. She hadn’t heard Guy walk into the bedroom. He was so stealthy, it made her feel uncomfortable sometimes. Her shoulders stiffened as a strong pair of arms grabbed her from behind. He was wet with sweat and it made her cringe.
“Had a good work out?” Rena asked trying hard not to sound bored. She asked the same mundane question, every single day.
“It could have been better,” Guy said, placing a wet kiss behind her ear, sending butterflies through her stomach.
“Wow, you’ve been busy,” he said, referring to the scattered folded paper on the carpet. It looked like origami.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” Rena said, embarrassed, hurriedly scuttling to tidy her mess. She didn’t want Guy to ever think she was disorderly and slothful. “Just practicing my handwriting in English,” she lied, tipping the rubbish into the trash can before plastering on her doting housewife smile. Her face betrayed neither worry nor surprise. “I don’t want to embarrass you in front of your friends with my poor English,” Rena mumbled, mortified that she was still speaking in Japanese instead of practicing with a man who had mastered the language at a young age.
Guy laughed lackadaisically as he changed out of his sweaty clothes in front of her. She averted her eyes from her naked fiancé only for a second.
Now he faced away from her. “You’re too sweet to embarrass anyone, Rena,” he replied in rough Japanese. “Do what makes you happy.”
Rena couldn’t help but look at her fiancé amorously. He thrusted his strong lean arms through a clean t-shirt that stuck flat against his sculpted abs. His hair flopped carelessly over his serious slanted eye. Guy was a man with an incredible physique, and she loved his solemn expression. No matter how upset she was with him, she found herself easily attracted to him. Pig-headed, selfish, sometimes arrogant; her perception of those characteristics melted away when she quietly watched him do the most trivial things.
“Can I ask you something? And please be honest,” Rena said, her voice small and vulnerable. If she wasn’t brave enough to set a date for them, she most certainly did not have the courage to reveal her disinterest in his next fight, and her hatred of him brawling like an animal.
She stroked her cheek with a strand of her dark hair and waited for him to at least grunt a response. Rena frowned as Guy jumped on the neatly tidied bed. He smiled softly, waiting for her to speak. Feeling her throat catch, she played with her engagement ring, tugging it up and down on her finger.
“You do want to marry me, right?” Rena asked, holding herself stiffly. She wished he would meet her gaze. His dark eyes rested on his lap as he fidgeted with the cords of his khakis. Her fingers trembled, making her accidentally dislodge and drop the ring.
“Yeah,” Guy finally whispered, placing the ring back on her finger. He smoothed her head and placed a gentle kiss on he
r cheek. Rena shuddered in relief seeing Guy’s small eyes smile, even though his mouth didn’t. The look in his eyes could never lie.
“I love you,” she smiled, holding onto his tight arms as she squeezed herself against his firm chest and sniffed in the scent of his freshly ironed t-shirt.
“I know,” Guy simply said.
*****
Chapter 9:
FATHER FIGURE