The teacher introduced us.
And bowed.
He freaking bowed!
My eyes scanned the room. All male expressions — totally bored. The girls? Yeah, looked overheated. I looked at every face, memorizing them, categorizing them, and purposefully chose not to look at Nat.
The last thing I needed was to burn into my memory the way her lips looked when she smiled, or those damn eyelashes. Were they fake or something?
“Well” — the teacher clapped — “Again, welcome to Seaside High.”
Demetri strutted towards the empty seat; I followed, my body tensing as I passed Nat’s desk.
I wasn’t sure if it was her or if it was just the ridiculous sexual charge in the air, but her pen fell from her desk right onto my feet.
Without thinking, I bent over to pick it up. Hey I wasn’t a complete ass!
I picked up the pen and held it in front of her; our faces were inches apart. Her eyes dilated as her breathing picked up noticeably. I flexed my fingers around the pen and stared. I stared so hard I was surprised I didn’t break that pen in half.
“I think” — I cleared my throat — “You dropped this.”
Our fingers brushed as I handed the pen back to her and walked to my empty seat.
My fingers were still buzzing by the time I sat down.
My heart was beating so hard it almost hurt.
A few seconds after I sat, she turned around and stared at me.
I met her gaze and all but jumped out of my chair and attacked her with my mouth.
I could make out the screen form her phone, a picture of me and Demetri was splashed across the front.
Just as I was about to give her a cocky grin, the teacher snatched her cell phone and said she’d get it back after class. Wanting to play the superhero, but lacking the know-how, I jumped to my feet and approached the desk.
“Actually,” Holy hell what was I doing? “That’s my phone, sorry about that.” I snatched the phone out of the teachers hands and on my way back to my desk slid my iPhone 5 across Nat’s desk.
Our fingers met again.
My knees threatened to buckle. I was officially losing my mind why the hell had I saved her like that?
When I finally took my seat and stuffed her cell phone in my pocket, I was shaking.
“Dude,” Demetri whispered, “There are easier ways to get a girls number, you know that right?”
My laugh was hollow, “Right, I was just helping… not hitting.”
“Hitting?” Demetri tapped his pencil against the table.
“On her, I wasn’t hitting on her.” I whispered back.
Demetri elbowed me and nodded in her direction. “Well, that’s a shame, she’s really pretty.”
“Yeah.” I cleared my throat. “I guess.”
“You don’t mind then?” He squinted at me like I’d completely lost it. “I mean you saw her first.”
“No.” I half laughed. “Hell no. Go for it man, you deserve some happiness, right?”
The first real smile I’d seen in a long time spread across his face. “Yeah. Thanks, I mean, that’s really cool of you.”
I shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. I shrugged and I freaking stared at her the entire class.
Damn. I was in some deep shit.
CHAPTER FOUR
Demetri
“SO, WHAT ARE you doing tonight?” I leaned close to Nat’s body, nervousness rolled off of her in waves.
“Homework.” She slammed her locker door and smiled. “And you?”
“Whitney,” I teased.
“Huh?” Her eyebrows pinched together like she actually didn’t get my joke about banging one of the cheerleaders. Aw hell, tell me I wasn’t flirting with a virgin. That’s just what I needed. A girl who didn’t know how to kiss and thought that sex was called making love. Kill me now.
My smile grew as a comfortable silence settled over our conversation. “I’m kidding, girl. You really need to get out more.” And I would be more than happy to show her all that needed to be shown.
“Okay.” She didn’t return my smile, if anything she looked pissed off like I’d just told her I was going to drive over to her house and kick her puppy.
Nat turned her back on me — like I didn’t matter. Like I wasn’t Demetri Daniels. Seriously?
Moving in front of her, I braced her shoulders and tried again. “What’d I do?”
I caressed her shoulders, running my hands up and down her arms, memorizing the way she felt beneath my touch. Yeah, she’d be fun. And she’d be beautiful, freaking beautiful. I couldn’t wait to taste her, to peel back all those layers until she was naked beneath me. My eyes widened so I could take more of her in — drink her until I was satisfied.
“Really, Demetri?” Alec’s hand gripped my shoulder so tight I almost winced. “Begging isn’t your style.”
I forced a smile. “Sorry Nat. He’s right. I don’t beg. I don’t usually have to, but you make me want to.” I licked my lips. Her eyes darted to my mouth. That’s right. Focus on the lips, little girl.
“Run along,” Alec encouraged. His eyes basically threatening me within an inch of my life. Fine. I’d go. He could play the hero all freaking day but in the end? She’d be mine. Because the last thing he took and played with — he killed, and he and I both knew it was time for me to be happy.
Alec could go to hell for all I cared.
With one last smile, I turned on my heel and walked away almost colliding with another guy who’d been talking to Nat earlier.
“Sorry man.” I sidestepped him then grabbed him by the arm. “Hey, you know that girl?”
“Nat?” The guy shrugged. “Sure. Why?”
“Does she work somewhere?”
“Why? Are you going to stalk her?”
I smirked. “My man, do I look like I need to stalk girls in order to get a piece?”
“No.” He laughed. “Hell no.”
“Right. So her job?”
“Seaside Taffy,” He answered quickly, “I work there with her.”
“And Seaside Taffy is??”
He rolled his eyes, “Downtown, you can’t miss it, there’s only one main street.”
“Damn I hate this place.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, well, welcome to the club rockstar.”
I waited exactly ten minutes before calling my brother’s phone — the same phone Nat had in her pocket.
“Hello?” She croaked on the other end.
Ah, my heart picked up speed. Her voice was so sweet so innocent. I could do with that — innocence. “Naughty girl stole my brother’s cell phone.”
“Hey, Demetri.”
“Hey, yourself.”
A few seconds of silence went by. “Is there something you need?”
Sex. You. Redemption. Drugs. Really there were so many choices at that moment it was hard to decide. “That depends.”
“On?”
“If you’re offering to help me with my… needs.” If she didn’t catch on to that innuendo then there was no hope for her and I was going to have to step up my game.
“You’re disgusting.” I could feel her scowl.
I tried to hold back my laughter. “Aw, thanks sweetheart.”
“Look.” Her voice shook, “I didn’t mean to take Alec’s phone is there a place I can drop it off or something?”
And ruin all my plans? “Why don’t you just keep it until tomorrow? We’ll see you at school and make the swap?”
“He’s going to know his phone’s missing, besides he has mine.”
Yeah he did, only big brother was losing his touch. When we’d gotten home he’d set the phone on the counter and allowed me the opportunity to hack into it.
“I know.” I sighed, “I’ve already hacked into it. High School Musical, Nat. Really?”
She groaned. “It’s good running music.”
“So is the entire Hannah Montana Soundtrack — doesn’t mean you put it on your playlist, Nat.”
&nb
sp; “Wait, how do you know that?”
“That’s beside the point. We’re talking about you now.”
“Did you need anything else?” she snapped.
You. “Are you offering”
“Bye Demetri.”
The conversation ended.
Shocked, I stared at the phone.
“What?” Alec came downstairs and pointed to the phone. “Something wrong?”
I stared at the phone. Surely she was going to call me back? Right? That wasn’t on purpose? “I think I got hung up on.”
“Ouch.” Alec winced. “How’d it feel?”
“How’d what feel?” I set the phone down and crossed my arms. Any minute. Any minute now. Why wasn’t it ringing?
“Rejection.”
“She didn’t reject me,” I said defensively. “She probably just lost cell service.”
“Rright.” Alec laughed, “Whatever you say. Oh and PS we have therapy tonight so… don’t be late, and try not to… show up high.”
I rolled my eyes. “Please.”
“I’m serious Demetri.”
“So am I!” I roared, “I can go a night without lighting up.”
Alec’s face fell. “And you know this how? Have you even tried?”
I was officially done with this conversation. “I know my limits.”
“If you knew your limits I wouldn’t have found you face down on the bathroom floor of our hotel room last week surrounded by puke, but sure, yeah, you know your limits, right?” He slammed his fist onto the table and swore.
“That was one time.”
“I don’t care!” he yelled. “It’s never happening again. We aren’t doing this Demetri. I can’t — lose you.”
Snorting I pushed past him. “Funny, shouldn’t you have thought of that before you slept with my girlfriend and got her pregnant?”
“Dem—”
“No. You’re so right. Maybe I’m losing control, losing my shit, but whose fault is that? You broke my damn heart and you expect me to listen to the shit that comes out of your mouth? Your delusional.”
“Just…” Alec’s voice was hoarse, “Try. For me. Just try.”
I sighed and grabbed the keys to my car. “I’ll be back in time for the appointment. But I’m going out.”
“Demetri,” Alec said my name like a curse. “Let me see your pockets first.”
“Am I your child?” I opened the door so hard it almost strained my arm.
“No. Yet you make me treat you like one.”
I reached into my jean pockets and pulled them out. “Empty.” I didn’t want to say it was because I’d taken my stash for the day.
Alec’s face relaxed like he was relieved. “Thanks man, I’m sorry, just paranoid.”
“Yeah well, take a nap or something,” I grumbled, slamming the screen door behind me.
The car roared to life.
Once I was around the corner, I reached into the consul and pulled out a tiny bag of pills.
Tomorrow. I’d quit tomorrow.
CHAPTER FIVE
Alec
LATER THAT EVENING, I opened the window and listened to the waves as they crashed against the beach. There was something so calming about the ocean, about the noise.
It sounded like peace.
Something I hadn’t felt in a very long time.
A light flickered on next door.
I was still pissed that we were neighbors with the cute girl, let alone that our shrink was her mom. Could things get more complicated? Oh right, Demetri was circling her like a damn crow.
She was texting someone.
Not that I was being the creepy guy that was watching a girl through her bedroom window.
I mean I wasn’t a stalker or anything, but damn her smile was captivating. I found myself smiling every time she did. A twinge of jealousy hit me square in the chest when I realized who she was probably texting.
On my phone.
To her phone.
Where was something to throw when I needed it?
A run. I needed to go for a run or do something — anything that would get my sorry ass out of my room and away from stalker-like tendencies.
Nat sighed and lay down on her bed.
So I went and lain down on mine.
I imagined what it would be like to hold her — not kiss her — just hold her in my arms. Would she be soft? Would she blush? Hell, I missed a girl who knew how to blush.
I touched my lips, suddenly aware of how many times I’d kissed girls, screwed girls, hurt them, and not even given it a second thought.
She was the type of girl that should have been my first. The one that you kiss once and never want to stop kissing.
I imagined a life where I’d been born normal. I would have gone to school with her; I would have asked her out on a date. I would have kissed her as soon as I could. I would have held her hand.
Demetri’s knocking interrupted my daydream.
“What?” I called.
“Dude” — Demetri pushed the door open, stumbling towards my bed — “I may have overdone it.”
“Overdone it. How?” I tensed as he approached and plopped down onto the mattress. “Ugh, but she was so hot.”
“Nat?” It was a toss-up between sheer panic and wanting to strangle him.
“No.” Demetri snorted. “The girl in the newspaper who said I screwed her. I swear I only kissed her.” He laughed again. “God, I hate girls.”
“Are you high?”
He was silent for a minute, “Maybe.”
“Man… you gotta cut that shit out.”
“She makes me want to.” He sniffled. “She’s so pretty.”
“Are we talking about Nat again?”
“Yeah,” he whispered, “I like her hair.”
Get in line.
“And she has such pretty eyes, you think she’d go out with me? If I asked? For real?”
“That depends,” I said slowly. “Do you think you can keep yourself from getting high so you can actually get behind the wheel of a car and not put her in danger?”
Demetri swore. “You’re not our dad!”
“No.” I clenched my fists. “He’s dead.”
Demetri punched the mattress. “Look, I’m sorry I just have lots of… feelings.”
“I’m aware.”
With a heavy sigh he pushed off the bed and saluted me. “I’ll make you a promise. No drugs. As long as she says ‘yes,’ and we hang out and things are normal. God, I need normal…” He wiped his face with his hands. “Then no drugs.”
“Swear?” A flicker of hope erupted in my chest. “Swear right now that if things go good with her you won’t mess it up. Swear to me, Demetri.”
His face got really serious. “I swear. I want her, man. I like her, she makes me feel… happy.”
“Don’t bring her down with you.”
“How could I?” He seemed genuinely confused. “When she lifts me up?”
Yeah. The only question? What would happen when he tired of her or when she didn’t return the feelings.
Or when I did the same thing I did so long ago — and try to get her for myself. Because who was I kidding? I was borderline obsessed and she thought I hated her.
One day.
One day in Seaside and my life was already flipping upside down.
“Night man.” Demetri shut my bedroom door, his footsteps echoing across the hall.
I got up from my bed and went to the window, watching Nat as she put her hair in a ponytail and crawled into bed.
Swear, she went to bed earlier than anyone I knew — her mom still had ttwo more appointments before the night was over — and both were for me and Demetri. I watched as the lights dimmed in her room.
“Another lifetime.” I sighed, “In another lifetime, pretty girl. I would have asked for your favorite color. Your favorite song. I would have held your hand.” I sighed and shoved my hands in my pockets. “Yeah. I would have loved the honor of holding your hand.”
CHAPTER SIX
Demetri
“FORGIVENESS…” MRS. MURRAY cleared her throat, “Until you both can forgive each other, the addiction isn’t going to go away.”
I snorted and looked down at my hands.
“So?” She leaned forward. “Alec?”
My brother tensed next to me. “I’m the one that needs to ask for forgiveness. And I have, but it doesn’t seem to do anything.”
There was an awkward silence where I’m sure I was supposed to be the one to say something but I had nothing. My damn hands were shaking like a lunatic and all I could focus on was either getting high or finding some girl to get lost in for a few minutes.
My knees shook, knocking together as I waited for the clock to strike eight.
“Demetri, Alec brings up a good point. Have you forgiven him?”
They made it sound so easy. Like all I had to do was say ‘yes’ and butterflies would start fluttering out of my ass.
But that wasn’t the case. Because no matter how many times I said that I forgave him — the hurt was still there.
When I closed my eyes, I still saw her guilty face, I saw his.
What type of brother does that? A high one. That’s the answer. Granted, Alec hadn’t touched drugs since — which sucked if you asked me. Nobody likes being the only member at his own party.
Everything felt so out of control that I wanted to scream. Instead, I did what I always did. I smiled and offered Mrs. Murray a solid wink. “I’ve forgiven him but you know as well as I do — things take time.”
“Good.” She smiled warmly and started stacking papers together. “Drug test tomorrow.” She handed us an appointment card. “Please don’t be late.”
One damn week.
I’d been clean.
And already I was wanting to jump into that frigid Pacific Ocean and take a giant ass inhale.
“Thanks.” Alec took the card while I sidestepped him and walked out into the hall. Nat was sitting at the table banging her head against it.
“Rough night, beautiful?”
Her head snapped up and I was suddenly so very thankful that my brother was deciding not to be his usual friendly self. Mine. She was all mine. I wanted those eyes, those lips, that body underneath me and I’d do anything to get it.