“Just follow me,” I said, leaning my head back against her.
She finally started moving with me.
“Fuck,” she breathed in my ear. I smiled and melted into her.
Our bodies fit. Perfectly. As if they were made for one another. Curves against curves. Her fingers dug into my hips and I couldn’t get over the feel of her against my back and her hips moving with mine.
The only downside was that I couldn’t see her face, so I rotated until we were facing one another.
She didn’t let go of my hips. I put my hands on her shoulders and then we were dancing face-to-face and I would never, for the rest of my life, forget the way she looked at me.
As if she wanted to devour me and worship me at the same time. I couldn’t look away from her green eyes.
I’d never wanted anything the way I wanted her.
The song finally ended and we were both breathing hard. It flipped to another country song that I wasn’t as fond of.
“I want you so bad right now,” Kyle said, pressing her forehead to mine. My fingers shook a little as I held her face and kissed her lips.
“Me, too.”
Our eyes locked and I knew it was only a matter of time. I wanted to take her hand and drag her out and fuck her in the backseat of my car. Hell, I’d settle for a nice patch of grass.
“I can’t even think,” Kyle said. “I can’t even think about anything but you.”
The words clogged the back of my throat, desperate to get out. I clamped my mouth shut. I couldn’t. Not yet.
Not yet.
“I want to do so many things right now, Ky,” I whispered. She made a little sound in the back of her throat that didn’t help the situation at all.
“I think I have an idea what you’re thinking of.”
I smiled.
“Oh, do you?”
“Would you like me to draw you a diagram?” I laughed and then someone cleared their throat. I turned away from Kyle to snarl at whoever had interrupted us, only to find Tris and Polly standing there with amused looks on their faces.
“Can we help you?” I asked, trying to be nice.
“We, ah, just wanted to say hello,” Tris said. She and Polly made a cute pair, with Tris rocking a button-up and suspenders, and Polly in a dress that would have made a 50s housewife proud, and bright lipstick. Tonight it was an almost neon pink.
“And you had to do that now?” I wondered aloud. Kyle stepped away from me.
“Sorry about her. She’s just a little cranky.” I gaped at her.
“I know what that’s like,” Polly said, shooting a look at Tris, who was busy staring at me with her eyes narrowed.
“Don’t be grumpy. However cute it is,” Polly said to Tris, leaning up on her tiptoes to kiss Tris’ cheek. Polly was significantly shorter than Tris, even with her heels on.
“So, looks like you two are . . .” Polly said, trailing off, letting us fill in the blanks.
Kyle rested her chin on my shoulder and slid her arms around me.
“Yup,” she said. “Surprised?”
Polly and Tris shared a look.
“A little,” Polly admitted. “But you never know, do you? How long have you guys been together?”
“Little while,” I said. Tris was still giving me a look like I was just fucking with her.
“We’re not faking it. If that’s what you’re thinking,” I said directly to Tris.
“I wasn’t thinking anything,” she said.
“Yeah, okay. The way you’ve been looking at us is totally normal, sure.” Kyle squeezed my sides to tell me to shut up.
“Just surprised. Didn’t expect you to be one of us.” That made me want to start chanting “One of us, one of us.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“So being gay is like a cult now?” Tris rolled her eyes.
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
“Okay, then. I’m gay, so is she, and we’re super gay together. Got it? Good.” I turned around and kissed Kyle full on the mouth. I didn’t need to prove anything to them, but I did it anyway.
“Does that clear it up for you?” I asked, turning back around, feeling a little dizzy. Kyle’s mouth always did that to me.
“You’re really cute together,” Polly said, leaning against Tris. “You’re like the perfect femme couple.” At least she hadn’t called us lipstick lesbians.
I leaned back against Kyle again.
“Thank you,” I said.
“So, now that we’ve established that we’re all girls who like girls, maybe we could, um, talk like normal people?” Kyle said. “Because it’s just been the two of us and it would be really nice to talk to someone else.”
That seemed to do the trick.
Tris finally melted and we started talking about our various coming out stories. Guess Tris’ family wasn’t as accepting as mine and Kyle’s and she’d had a real hard time of it.
“I’m sorry,” I said, really meaning it. She shrugged it off.
“Not your fault. Just the way things are. That’s why I can’t wait to get out of this hick town and go to college.”
“Where are you headed?”
“Austin,” she said, putting her arm over Polly’s shoulder. “We’re both going to UT.” I still hadn’t figured out where the hell I wanted to go. Kyle and I had been purposely avoiding college talk. I didn’t want to be one of those people who had to factor in their girlfriend for their college decision. Even though I probably would.
“Yup, it’s gonna be awesome. We’re going to get a little apartment and a dog and it will be sunny all the time,” Polly said. She was bright and bubbly and constantly moving. I liked her. The jury was still out on Tris, but she seemed to be warming up. I wasn’t really one to talk about being standoffish anyway.
Grace and Midori came over and we introduced them.
Somehow, we all ended up talking for a while and it wasn’t a big deal at all.
Kyle squeezed my shoulder.
“Baby, I’ve got to get home.” I turned and gave her a sad smile.
“Okay, I’ll go with you to your car.” Grace wanted to stay and asked if I could give her a ride.
“See you on Monday!” Polly said, waving at us as we left. I took Kyle’s hand as we slowly made our way back to her car. The bonfire had mostly burned itself out, but there were still people throwing shit on it to get it going again.
“That was interesting,” Kyle said.
“Just a little bit. What do you think Monday is going to be like?” She shook her head.
“No idea. But if it was anything like this, I think it’ll be good. I guess people just don’t care. Which is awesome for us.” Definitely. I knew it wasn’t all going to be good, but so far, my worst fears hadn’t come true.
“I loved dancing with you,” she said when we got to her car.
“Yeah?” I asked and then had the breath knocked out of me as she pushed me up against the door of the car.
“Yeah,” she said before her mouth crashed down on mine and she kissed me like she needed me to breathe.
Her hands fumbled under my shirt and then she was caressing my bare skin and I was honestly going to die or shatter into a million pieces. She didn’t get to be the only one doing the touching, so I slid my fingers under the hem of her shirt and brushed the smooth skin of her stomach.
We both trembled and gasped and it was going to kill me.
“I want you so much,” she said into my mouth.
“You can have me. You can have everything,” I said back.
She laughed. A low, sexy sound.
“Is that so?” Her fingers brushed the edge of my bra and I wished I wasn’t wearing one.
“Yes. Fuck, yes.”
She pulled back to look into my eyes.
“Everything?”
I knew exactly what she was asking, and what my answer would mean for both of us.
“Yes.”
I didn’t really mean to attack her like that, it
just kind of happened. There were no protests as I kissed her and shoved my hands up her shirt. I’d been wanting to touch her skin since we’d danced.
Holy shit, the dancing. I hadn’t known it was going to be like that. I’d pictured tripping over my feet and embarrassing myself, but she’d taken the lead and it turned out that moving my hips with hers didn’t require any thinking on my part.
My body just wanted hers. Followed hers. It was natural, to be with her like that. It had made me want to tell her to drive somewhere and park, but then we’d been interrupted. I definitely had to go home now, but I wasn’t going to stop thinking about it.
I also wasn’t going to stop thinking about telling Stella how I felt about her. Really tell her. Because there was only one word for it and I wanted to tell her before we had sex. I wanted her to know that it wasn’t just about needing to fuck her.
“Me too,” I said. “I want you to have everything. I want it to be you.” I always want it to be you.
She smiled slowly.
“I will keep that in mind. Later. When I’m in bed.” I groaned and she giggled.
“You’re just as bad, you know. My wrists have been getting quite a workout since I fell in love with you.”
“What?”
She gasped, as if she hadn’t meant to say it.
“Oh, shit. I said that out loud, didn’t I?” I grabbed onto her shoulders because I felt like I was going to fall over.
“Did you just say that you love me?” My voice squeaked on the word. She swallowed and I could see the panic in her eyes.
“Yes. I did. Because I do. Love you. I don’t care if it’s too soon, or of we’re seniors and heading to different colleges. I don’t care. I love you, baby.” She stroked my face and I wondered if it was possible for your heart to stop and still live.
“You love me?” There were tears in her eyes.
“Yeah, I do. I tried to fight it, but you’re just too damn cute.” I laughed a little, still completely overwhelmed.
“Okay. You love me. That’s really good, I guess, because I love you too. It would be bad if one of us felt it and the other one didn’t. But we’re good.” She squealed and threw herself on me.
“I thought it was going to freak you out, which is why I hadn’t said it before.” I leaned into her, smelling her hair.
“I’ve wanted to say it too. Guess we’re both idiots.” We laughed together and I reluctantly let her go.
“I really, really have to get home or else my parents are going to kill me. And I don’t want them getting mad at me because then they won’t let you come over or let me come see you, so.” I babbled. Stella gave me one last lingering kiss.
“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” We had plans to hang out all day together, including going to the movies and having lunch. Like a real couple.
“See you tomorrow, baby.” I didn’t want to let her go.
“Oh, by the way, I love you,” she said.
“Oh, hey, me too,” I said, getting into my car.
She loved me.
I made it home with two minutes to spare.
“Did you have fun with Grace?” Mom asked. She looked up from the paperback she was reading. When I’d texted her to say that I was going out after the game, I told her Grace and I were getting pizza with the rest of my friends. Oops.
“Yeah, we did actually.” I didn’t want to walk too close to her because I was pretty sure my clothes reeked of pot smoke. The one downside of the night.
“Good, good. Listen, I want to talk with you.” Uh oh. I leaned against the wall, but she patted the spot next to her on the couch.
I reluctantly walked over because saying no would only make her more suspicious.
“I know you’re going out with Stella now and you know your father and I fully support it, but I don’t want you to take that to mean we don’t have rules for you. If you were dating a boy, we’d have the same rules.” Actually, I’d been wondering when she was going to throw this at me. Stella couldn’t get me pregnant, but that wasn’t their only concern, I was sure.
“Okay,” I said. She stared at me, probably expecting more resistance.
“Okay, so. Your curfew is still in place and when you go out on dates, we want to know where you’re going and when you’re going to be back. I would also prefer that you seriously consider the consequences of any, ah, activity.” Shit, we were having a sex talk. We’d had one before, but now things were different.
“I’m not going to tell you what to do because I know you’re smart enough to know what’s right for you, but I do want you to be careful. Okay? And I know you’re going to be off at college and can do whatever you want, but I’m still having a problem realizing that you’re all grown up. When did that happen?” She sighed.
“Thanks. I can do that,” I said.
“Good. I can see how much you care about her, and I just want to wrap you up in a bubble so you don’t get your heart broken, but I know that I can’t do that.”
“I really like her, Mom. A lot.” She stroked my head.
“I know. I can see it. And I still want to meet her.”
I didn’t want to share just how much I liked Stella. Not yet.
“I’ll ask her about it.” I was going to put that off as long as possible.
Mom looked down at her wedding ring. “I fell in love with your father when I was fourteen, so I know that it can happen when you’re young and that it can last. Even if I could have dated around and gotten married later, I wouldn’t have picked anyone else.” I wouldn’t pick anyone else but Stella, but it was impossible to know the future.
“Anyway, I just wanted to have that little talk with you. I love you, honey.” I leaned in and she gave me a hug.
“I love you, too.” She didn’t mention anything about pot smoke and I scurried away to change my clothes.
“So, is this our first real date?” I asked when Stella picked me up the next day. I’d told my mom where we were going and when we were going to be back and she hounded me again about having Stella over for dinner so I guess that was going to happen sooner rather than later. My mom was persistent.
“I don’t know. Do you count last night?” Shit. Last night. After I’d gone back to my room I’d undressed and thought about kissing Stella as I got myself off.
Four times.
“I don’t know. Let’s see how today goes and then we’ll decide.” I turned on the radio and flipped through the stations.
“But we need to know the anniversary of our first date so we can celebrate.” Good point.
“Okay, last night can be our first date and this can be our first date-date.” I found the pop station and hummed along to the current song that was playing twenty-four seven.
“What’s a date-date?” We argued about that for the rest of the way to the movie theater. I bought the tickets and Stella got the popcorn and sodas.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” I said, taking the popcorn from her and handing her a ticket.
“We’re dating just like normal people.”
“I know, right?” We laughed and headed into the theater.
The movie was one of the latest romantic blockbusters. I hadn’t really cared about seeing it, but I figured if we weren’t watching the movie, we could potentially make out in the back of the theater.
“Let’s sit back there,” I said, pointing to the last row of seats. There were only a few people and they sat way up front, so we were pretty alone back there.
“I know why you want us to sit back here and I completely approve of it,” Stella said, sitting down and putting her soda in the cup holder.
“Good. I was hoping you would.” I popped a piece of popcorn into my mouth and smiled at her.
“Don’t eat it all,” she said, shoving her hand into the tub.
“I’ll share because I love you.” I tilted the tub toward her and she smiled.
“Aw, you’re so sweet. You’re trying to out-sweet me.” We had nearly finishe
d the popcorn by the time the previews started. Stella pulled some wipes out of her purse and we cleaned the fake butter off our fingers.
She leaned over and I put my arm around her.
“I’ve never done this before. Not even with a boy,” she said, leaning closer.
“Me neither,” I said watching her eyes glow from the light of the screen.
She kissed me softly and then turned to watch the movie.
I just wanted to watch her, so I did. Half of my attention was on the movie (which was very heterosexual) and half was on her. The way she smiled, the way she laughed, how she concentrated.
“Stop staring at me,” she whispered at one point.
“Can’t help it,” I said. She smirked and then reached her hand over, sliding it slowly up my thigh. I went rigid in my seat and Stella laughed softly next to me.
Shit.
Her fingers leisurely walked their way up my leg and stopped on the top of my thigh. She squeezed gently and then withdrew her hand.
“You are evil,” I whispered. “I’m going to get you for that.”
“God, I hope so.”
“I wonder if anyone knows we’re on a date,” Stella said as we were seated at the restaurant. It was just one of those nicer chain places, but I didn’t care as long as we were together.
“Probably not. They just think we’re friends.” I looked around, but no one was paying attention to us.
“I could kiss you and then that would make things clear. Or we could sit on the same side and feed each other.” I made a face.
“I love you, but I draw the line at feeding each other. Unless it’s like, chocolate strawberries or something.” Her eyes lit up.
“Ohhhh, that would be sexy. We should do that for our anniversary or something.” I thought the anniversary talk was a little premature, but it was really sweet that she thought that way.
Our server came over and took our drink orders and asked if we were ready to order food.
“I think we’ll have the spinach and artichoke dip as an ap, right, baby?” Stella said, winking at me. The server, a guy who probably wasn’t much older than us looked from Stella to me and his face went red.
“Sure, babe. That sounds good,” I said, grinning at her. The guy stuttered that he was going to put that order in. We waited until he left before we started laughing.