Nik responds, “Nope. I need little girl and I need it now.”
Tina looks over at the girls. “You heard him. He’s hungry. Which one of you wants to be munched up?” Tatiana nods while Ava shakes her head emphatically. Tina crooks a finger at Tatiana. “You better get in there. Sounds like he’s starving.”
As soon as Tatiana takes off down the hall, Ava wails, “No!”
I pick up my tater tot, hug her close and whisper, “It’s okay, baby. It’s only pretend.” She sniffles into my neck. Tatiana creeps up to the door, and as soon as she puts her hand on the knob, the door flies open and out comes the monster.
Nik steps out and I gasp. “Oh my God, it’s hideous!”
Ava’s smiles and kicks her little legs. Otherwise known as let me down now.
I let her down, and Nik chases his babies down the hall and into his bedroom. Not a minute later, growls, roars, laughter, and baby squeals let us know they’ve been caught.
Tina laughs softly then turns to me. “Where’s Ceecee?”
My smile falls. My stomach drops. “I thought she was with you.”
Tina’s smile fades quickly. She calls out, “Ceecee? Honey, where are you?”
No answer.
My pulse spikes. “Ceecee, baby?”
Nothing.
Fuck.
Tina rushes to Ceecee’s room and throws open the door. She turns to me, eyes wide. “She’s not in here.”
I don’t wait to consult with anyone. My feet move of their own accord. I quickly check the kitchen, living area, and all the bedrooms.
Empty.
My heart races as I check the backyard. “Ceecee!”
My Mom rushes out of my room. “What’s going on?”
I snatch my car keys off the table and tell her, “Can’t find Ceecee. She’s gone.”
Fear fills me as I run down the hall and see the front door open. I whisper to myself, “Please God, no.”
I run as fast as I can, hearing Nik’s heavy footfalls behind me. On the front porch, Nik bellows, “Ceecee!”
My feet don’t stop. I run to my truck and jump in. I start it up and Nik jumps in the passenger seat. The tires screech as I take off down the driveway. Just as I’m about to hit road, Nik calls out, “Wait. Stop! Over there.” He points out the window on his side.
My racing heart slows. I see her. She sits there, at the front gate, staring over at our new house. I grip the steering wheel and lower my head onto it, hyperventilating.
Fuck. Shit. Fuck.
Nik pats my back. “It’s okay. She’s okay.”
So many thoughts go through my head. Ugly, disturbing thoughts.
What if she wasn’t okay?
I feel tears prickle my eyes, but I hold them back. I step out of the car, not bothering to turn it off. As I walk towards her on Jell-O legs, I hear Nik exit the car and get into the driver’s side. The car reverses away, leaving me with my daughter. I move to stand behind her, and I equally want to hug the shit out of her and beat her ass for scaring the crap out of me. I settle with resting my hand on her shoulder. She looks up at me, golden eyes sad, then looks back across the street. We stand there a while, and I’m glad for it. I need a moment to get my shit together.
Another five minutes or so, and Ceecee mutters, “We’re not very far, are we?”
My throat is thick with emotion from the ordeal I’ve been put through, so I clear it. “No, honey. We’re not far.”
She takes a moment to process this, then asks quietly, “And I can come here whenever I like?”
I reply on a squeeze of her shoulder, “Of course, baby.”
Another moment, and then she nods once, firmly. “Then…then I guess moving won’t be so bad.”
My eyes widen in surprise.
What did she just say?
I stop myself from jumping in the air and kicking my heels together. Instead, I kiss the top of her head and hug her around the shoulders. “It won’t be bad. It’ll be fun. We’re having an adventure, me and you.”
Her small hand comes up to rest on mine and she utters a shaky, “I’m sorry, Daddy. I haven’t been very nice to you.”
I don’t bother accepting her apology. It’s been, it’s done, and it’s over. “Love you.”
I feel a tear drip from her cheek onto my forearm. She sniffles, “I love you, too.”
My heart lightens. I take hold of the handles of her chair and start wheeling her back to the house. As soon as we get through the front door, I tell her, “You want to get your things ready?”
She smiles up at me and nods. Then she’s gone. I find myself on the arm of the sofa, biting my lip, looking into nothingness. Nik startles me when his hand comes down on my shoulder. I jump, but when I see it’s just him, I breathe deep. “Fuck, man.”
“I know.”
I exhale shakily. “No, really.”
He squeezes my shoulder. “I know.”
My hand comes up to pinch the bridge of my nose. I look up at him. “I don’t think…” I shrug.
He shakes his head. “You’re not workin’ tonight. Not after that. Go and take your girl out. Get ice cream. Have some fun.”
It takes me a moment to respond. Even then, it’s quiet. Too quiet. “Thanks, man.”
Ceecee comes out of her room with her backpack over the side of her chair. She wheels herself over to me and narrows her eyes at my smile. She asks a long and drawn out, “What?”
I pick up my car keys. “Change of plan.” I jiggle the keys. “How about dinner and a movie?”
Her face morphs into shock. She asks on a whisper, “Really?”
I shoot her a well, duh look. “Uh, yeah.”
She sputters, “But…but why?”
I shrug. “I need a reason?”
She looks left, then right, then nods.
Leaning back against the dining table, I stroke my chin. “I see. Then I would like to take my girl out for the following reasons.” I count them on my fingers. “Number one, you’re my daughter and I love you. Number two, you’re the only person in the world who can out-eat me in ice cream. Number three,” I lean closer and mock whisper, “you’re much better company than all those old people.”
Nik calls out, “I heard that!”
Tina adds, “I did too!”
Mom returns, “We’ll see who’s old next time you come over begging me to feed you!”
I mutter, “Whoops.” Ceecee giggles. I smile down at her and hold my hand out. “Now can I take you out?”
Smiling big, she responds, “I’d like that, Daddy.” Then I proceed to take my little one out for pizza, a movie, and ice cream.
And we have a blast.
***
Max
As I lie in bed at the end of a great night out with my daughter, it hits me what happened tonight. It hits me hard. That I may not have found her. That she could’ve been gone. Forever. My eyes sting beneath my closed lids. I cry silently under the covers for a long time.
No one said being a parent was easy.
***
Helena
The White Rabbit is just how I remembered it. I’m glad to be back.
I spent the afternoon getting ready with Nat, seeing as she had the afternoon off. Most of the afternoon was spent eating, bitching at each other, Nat throwing clothes at me excitedly, and me kicking clothes away, wearing a look of disgust.
No offence to my sister, but she’s much more open about her body than I am. I don’t like to show a lot of skin, but if I do show skin, it’s likely to be my back and shoulders, rather than my legs. We spent over an hour getting ready. We made up our faces, Nat did my hair, and I ended up wearing one of my own dresses. I look over at Nat and my inner self sighs in jealousy. She always was the fox of the family.
Take what she’s wearing right now: a simple cut, bright mustard-yellow dress hitting high up on her thighs with tan heels. That’s it. Her now brown hair is worn straight with minimal makeup as she glosses her lips and smiles at me. I smile back, but
there’s a shitload of envy in that smile.
My Grecian-style, white floor-length dress is twisted at the shoulders, and although simple, is one of my favorite dresses. I’ve worn it a heap of times, and when I find a new place to go, it’s always the first thing I go for. This is for a number of reasons. Firstly, it’s comfortable. Secondly, it’s flattering to my curvy body. Thirdly, it’s quaint and charming. All I have to do is slip on a pair of flat gold sandals, add a few big gold bangles, and top it off with a pair of dangly earrings. I wanted to leave my hair up, but Nat wasn’t having it. She made me wear it down, gently adding loose curls in my already wavy hair.
She dusted my cheeks with gold shimmer, lined my eyes, and put a crap-ton of mascara on me. I don’t know how she did it, but I sort of look ethereal, like a goddess…in a very human kind of way. Either way, I feel good going out tonight. I want to look my best. After all, I’m on the prowl. Max can eat a dick.
Ash comes in without knocking. I mean, why would he knock while breaking in through the back sliding door? He just strides on in like he owns the place. Might have something to do with the fact he bought the apartment building last year. He jerks his chin at me and states, “Nice.” Then he spots his wife. His eyes glaze over at the sight of Nat’s ass as she checks herself in the mirror. She spots him in the reflection and winks at him. He mutters, “Nicer.”
I’m offended. Well, no, I’m not. Mock-offended, really. I scoff and throw one of my many stuffed toys at his head. “Thanks, bonehead.”
He sheepishly rubs at the back of his neck. “You look hot too. In a sisterly way.” We both stiffen and recoil at the off-key statement. He points a finger at me. “Don’t repeat that. That was sick.” Closing my eyes, my body shakes in silent laughter. For a man who looks like he’s the epitome of cool, Ash is just…not.
Nat graces us with her presence. “Ready to go, kids?” She smacks a kiss on Ash’s cheek, leaving behind a glossy mess. He doesn’t even wipe it away, just snags her around the waist and pulls her close. In a dance they choreographed long ago, she comes willingly, moving to his front. He bands both arms around her middle, resting his chin on her head. This pose they’re in, I can’t remember seeing anything that looked more natural in the world. This pose…it’s just them. I love it. It makes me happy.
I’m ready. “Hell yeah. Watch out New York; I’m about to tear shit up.” Ash shoots me a warning look. I quickly amend, “Yeah, New York, you better watch it, ‘cause I am going to tear your shit up in a moderately and unobtrusive way, ya hear?”
Nat bursts into laughter and calls out a high-pitched, “Holla!”
I pick up my bag and purse my lips. “That’s just how I roll, yo.”
Chapter Nine
Helena
We arrive to The White Rabbit long before anyone has even lined up to get in, even though it opens at eight. But, really, who starts their clubbing journey at eight? None of the cool kids, that’s who. I’m actually glad for it though. Being that all the gang are here, I can catch up with them without being interrupted or being knocked down by drunken fools.
Last year, Nik axed the VIP area of the club. The area is still there and it still gets used, but now it’s strictly reserved for family and friends. And being the cool brother he is, he even reserved a booth for his newly legal little sister, Isa, who turned twenty-one just months before. He said this was because she’d earned it, being that she’d always been a sweet kid and had kept up her grades. But we all knew it was just a way for Nik, Max, and Ash to keep a close eye on her and who she is hanging out with, without outright asking.
Stupid men. They think she doesn’t know. She knows, all right.
Nat and I sit at the booth with our cocktails and talk. Soon after, Tina arrives with Lola and Mimi in tow. By nine, we’re laughing and talking up a storm. Lola nudges my shoulder. “So, you leave a guy back home sobbing his little heart out?”
I roll my eyes. “No, dorkette,” I wiggle my brows, “I left about ten. And they all cried. One proposed.”
Nat almost loses her drink. She snort-coughs, then asks through a wheeze, “Is that shit true?” I throw her a deadpanned look. Her shoulders slump. “That’s what I thought. I mean,” she looks me up and down, “who’d be stupid enough to want to marry you?”
I glower and pull her hair. She yelps then reaches over to pinch my arm. I squeak. We both mutter at the same time, “Bitch.”
Mimi cuts in with, “Ya know, I never thought of you as a one-night-stand sort of chick.” She looks me dead in the eye. “You ever had one before?”
I sip my drink and shake my head at the same time.
Nat scoffs. “They’re messy.”
Tina nods emphatically and adds, “And awkward.” Everyone stares at her. Tina’s only ever slept with two men in her life. She quickly utters with a small shrug, “Or so I hear.”
Lola chirps in, “But they can be fun.”
Mimi runs her finger down her beer suggestively and snarks, “If they’re not just a bratwurst with shit for brains.”
Well, these bitches sure are putting a damper on my sexy mood. I quickly ask, “Surely, one of you have had a good one night stand.” I expect one of them to answer with an ‘Of course’, but they all seem busy in other things right now. Mimi sips her beer. Tina checks her phone. Lola coughs and blinks as if fighting through a really bad memory. Nat just looks up, lost in thought. I nudge Nat. “Well?”
She shushes me. “I’m thinkin’, all right?”
Steely determination runs through me. I sip my drink ‘til it’s finished and announce, “I’m going to be the one to prove y’all wrong.” I shuffle out of the booth and stand. “I’m going to have the best one night stand ever. It’s going to be hot, and not messy. We’ll shake hands afterwards and it won’t be weird. At all. The guy will have a ten inch cock, and well,” I concede with a shrug, “probably shit for brains, but his dick will make up for it.” I smile a small smile as I describe what I’m looking for. “He’ll be tall and built, and have dark hair and smiling eyes. And a dimple.”
Crap, you just described Max! Take flight!
I fight the flush with all I have. “I’m just going to go find him. Right now.” My dress swishes around my legs as I walk away.
Probably shouldn’t have worn a thong tonight.
Oh my God, I know! It’s so uncomfortable. I have to force myself not to try to pick out this never-ending wedgie. Instead, I think of other things, like dogs riding skateboards and chipmunks eating things with their widdle teethies.
I make my way downstairs to the bar. I spot him immediately, and I sigh. “There should be a warning sign above this bar.”
He grins. “Oh yeah. And what would it say?”
“Something about eye candy and killer smiles, I’m sure.”
Sherriff chuckles. “You flatter me, Lena.” He reaches over the bar and slowly and leisurely kisses my cheek. “How you doin’, beautiful?”
The last few times I’ve come to The White Rabbit, I’ve spent more time than I should have at the bar. Truth is, I have a teensy crush of Stefan the Sherriff, the barman. And it all started at Nik and Tina’s wedding. What can I say? He’s just something else—dirty blonde hair worn at a length that borderlines too long, sexy, warm brown eyes, a body I like to watch work the bar, and an easy smile. But best of all, he’s easy to talk to. He listens intently and shows it by asking questions and getting involved in what you’re saying.
He’s super sweet. Any woman would be thrilled to call him hers. I sit at the bar talking to Sherriff and drinking the drinks he makes me. I can taste less and less alcohol in my cocktails, but smile knowing he’s trying to look after me. Before I know it, it’s ten thirty and I still haven’t seen Max.
My head feeling light from the countless drinks I’ve had, I ask, “Where’s Max?”
Sherriff answers on a shrug. “No idea. He should be here.”
My haunches rise as I add another dot point on my shit list against Max. Point five: Slacker.<
br />
Whatever. I move off of my stool, and just as I’m about to say goodbye to Sherriff, a hand on my forearm stops me. I look up, and all I see are green eyes.
“Helena? Helena Kovac?”
I frown. How the hell would someone know who I am in New York? I step back and assess the situation. The man standing in front of me wears a gorgeous, wide smile. He’s at least a foot taller than me. Not as tall as Max. Shut up, brain. He’s extremely fit and has no hair—as in, Baldy McGee—but it looks good on him.
He holds a hand out to me. “I know you don’t know me, but you will.”
Okay. Officially freaked out now. Holding a hand up, palm out, I step away again. “Don’t. Stay where you are.”
He looks down at me in confusion before realization crosses his face. He laughs out loud. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t laugh, but…but I just realized how that sounded. Okay, let’s try this again.” He straightens, holding his hand out once more. “Hi, Helena, I’m James Whittaker.”
My mouth rounds into an O. This is my new boss?
Schwing!
Still holding out his hand, he explains, “I recognized you from the photo you sent for your identification tag, which I actually have in my car.” I bite my lip to hold in my laugh and look anywhere but at him. He cringes. “Yeah, okay, I heard it that time too. Creepy as hell.”
I laugh and step forward. “I’m sorry for freaking out, but you sounded a little stalkerish. Sorry.”
I place my hand in his and we shake, smiling all the while. He releases my hand then puffs out a breath. “I probably should’ve just let you be. I’m sorry if I made our first meeting awkward.”
“No, it’s fine. My friend owns this club, so I was just catching up with people.”
His brows rise. “You know the Leokovs?”
My nose wrinkles in an attempt to be cute. “Yeah, Nik married a close family friend, Tina. My sister Nat is married to their adoptive brother, Asher. So we’re all a tight knit little family of sorts.”