So I did.
I dove under the water and realized that even with the darkness, the lake was pretty crystal clear. Almost like glacier water but not quite as nice.
I could kind of see feet and some legs that were close but that was it, and even then everything was blurry.
I blinked under water.
And then a face appeared in front of me.
I screamed and soared to the top gasping for air at the same time as a laughing Marlo.
“You ass!” I splashed him with water. “I could have drowned!”
“Doubtful.” He was a foot away from me, his wet hair slicked back over his head, his massive shoulders just floating like they could help him tread water all day. “You used to be on swim team.”
“Right, but on swim team, heads don’t just magically float in the water.”
“The head was attached to a body.” He leaned in. “Both of them.”
“What do you mean—” Realization dawned, and I splashed him again.
Jackson burst out lugging. “Good one, Marlo.”
Marlo saluted him and swam toward the dock. “Who wants to play Marco Polo?”
Cheers erupted. Oh yay, getting chased by naked guys with grabby hands, every girl’s dream, right?
I shared a look with Jen.
“Only if we can be it first!” Jen announced. “Girls against guys.”
“Oh, so you want to start off knowing you’ll lose, that’s cool.” Brax laughed just as someone ran down the dock and held up a half gallon bottle of tequila. “Bro, you saved a life tonight, I commend you.” Brax said as he swam over and opened his mouth. All the guys followed, everyone but Marlo.
I wondered why.
I didn’t voice my question.
But Jackson must have read my face because he pointed to me and Jen. “Before you Marco, you must drink. It’s tradition.”
“Since last year.” Jen rolled her eyes. “Whatever, one shot won’t kill us. Come on, Ray.”
I tilted my head as an evil grin spread across my face. “I’m in, as long as Marlo puts his big boy — was it boxers or briefs? — back on and joins us.”
He stared me down, then swam toward the dock and tilted his head back, whoever it was poured a heavy shot down Marlo’s throat.
Marlo wiped the tequila from his neck. “I’m waiting.”
Shit.
I swam over with Jen and followed suit.
And just as the first part of the Tequila fell into my mouth, making me wince, Marlo whispered in my right ear. “Neither.”
I choked a bit and wiped my mouth as the gross tequila traveled into my gut like lead. “What do you mean?”
“Neither.” He said it louder this time. “I don’t like boxers or briefs.”
“Can’t tame his python,” Brax, obviously drunk, shouted sending all the guys into fits of laughter.
All but Marlo.
Who was looking at me like he was ready to say, she should know.
He didn’t though.
I breathed a sigh of relief as Jen grabbed my hand and shouted, “Marco!”
The guys all scattered.
I closed my eyes and moved through the water toward all the voices of “Polo!”
Every time I thought I got close to someone, he swam off. The liquor was hitting me a bit harder than I would have liked, which was making it hard to focus on swimming.
Finally, I heard laughter and a faint Marco.
I reached out and grabbed.
Ankle.
Good enough.
“Hah!” I opened my eyes. “And looks like the girls are already ahead!”
“YES!” Jen splashed the water with her hands.
Brax gave me a very buzzed smile. “I’m a slow swimmer, what can I say?”
“Bullshit!” Marlo yelled from far away. “You wanted her to touch you.”
“I admit nothing!” Brax fired back and then moved toward the dock and started yelling Marco.
I dove under water and swam hard in the other direction in an effort to get away from most of the group, but when I got above water, I bumped into another hard body.
Marlo’s hard body.
I’d somehow managed to get to the other side of the dock.
“Marco!” Brax shouted.
“Polo!” everyone answered.
Everyone but us.
I sucked in a breath as Marlo leaned down and whispered, “Are you cheating?”
“Are you?” I fired back.
His lips turned into a smile, blinding me with the attractiveness of his face, of the way the moon kissed his skin and made him look almost inhumanly beautiful. Straight white teeth, I focused on the teeth.
The eyes were too much.
The hair.
The broad shoulders.
The way I was basically pinned against the dock with Marlo’s body as my only way of escape.
“Marco!” Brax shouted.
“Po—”
Marlo clapped a hand over my mouth and then slowly his gaze lowered to the top of the water where I was aware he could almost make out my naked breasts.
I gulped.
“Marco!”
He leaned in his head, tilting near my neck, and then he pressed his mouth to my shoulder like he was inhaling me, memorizing me. And then he pulled back and shook his head. “Fucking hate tequila.”
And that was it.
He swam off yelling. “Polo!”
While I treaded water and wondered why my teeth were chattering.
And why I wanted to ask my enemy to come back and finish whatever he had been about to start.
I was asking for trouble.
And heartache all in one.
But his eyes.
Those eyes, they haunted me.
They made me hate and want both at the same time. I just hoped the right one would win out in the end, because I discovered something about myself in that lake.
With Marlo staring me down.
I had no self-control when it came to him.
Maybe I never did.
Because even all those years ago.
I’d always wanted him to want me.
To tell me he saw me for me.
I did everything in my power to try to make something real, something tangible, and then I made the biggest mistake of my life by saying yes.
Because once you experience that sort of desire.
Everything else pales in comparison.
Ruining your future.
Ruining it all.
I slowly rejoined the crowd and kept my distance from Marlo the rest of the night, and when I closed my eyes in my cabin, I grabbed the cat calendar and tucked it under my arm and imagined it was him.
THE MINUTE WE’D decided to do Dirty Dancing, I’d put in an order for all the things we’d need and expedited it to the camp. We luckily had the script and some of the main music, but we lacked the behind-the-scenes instructions, including props which made me a bit nervous considering how much time we had to make everything. The set team was going to be a pain in my ass this summer, I could feel it already.
Luckily, the shipment came two days later.
Two days after skinny-dipping.
Two nights after dreaming of her lips in my sleep.
I was bordering on having a sleeping disorder because of the way she smelled, and it pissed me the hell off — why? Why couldn’t I just let it go? Why did I have to constantly look for her in a room?
Why did I have this constant hunger?
This need to rip down her walls and ask her to trust me, to trust her back and believe that maybe humans were inherently good, not evil like I’d always believed.
I saw flickers of it, her goodness, her smile. All of it.
And the more I saw, the greedier I became for more.
Like the day of her birthday.
Four nights ago, when we teased each other and didn’t rip each other’s throats out in the process.
I smiled to myself as campers made their way i
nto the mess hall, yelling about starving to death and the horrible conditions.
I took one look at the coffee bar along with its espresso machine and gave a heavy shake of my head.
Teenagers.
I felt her then.
Maybe I smelled her first.
Like the worst sort of sin I could commit in this lifetime — like both my enemy and my friend.
“Marlo.” Her voice was soft, it floated around me like perfume. And then she was pouring black coffee into her cup.
“RAY!” Jackson’s voice boomed so loud, the coffee jolted out of her hand sending scalding liquid splashing over her thumb.
“Shit,” she hissed, shaking her hand.
Already I could see the angry red skin bubbling up, they made the coffee searing, it’s why most people added a shit ton of creamer to it so you could actually drink it right away.
“Nice one, jackass.” I shook my head at Jackson then gently wrapped an arm around her. “Let’s get that taken care of.”
“It’s fine, I—”
Maybe my look was more pissed off than gentle because Ray just pressed her lips together and let me lead her to the back of the kitchen where we kept a med kit.
“Up you go.” I lifted her effortlessly onto the counter and then set the med kit right next to her.
“Did you really just lift me onto the counter like a toddler?” She huffed.
I didn’t even look at her when I responded. “Did you really just like it?”
And nothing.
I smirked down at the burn cream and then held out my hand. Gingerly, she placed her hand on top of mine, while I slowly rubbed cream across the ugly red mark.
“That hurts,” she said through clenched teeth.
“A bit of pain now.” I kept softly rubbing and locked eyes with her. “Means no searing pain later.”
“I think my hands already been seared,” she joked.
My lips twitched as I grabbed a bandage and wrapped it around her thumb then taped it in place so the burn cream wouldn’t be exposed to the sun.
“Just take it easy.” I had both hands on the counter, one on either side of her body. I moved to grip her hips and pull her down.
Instead, what happened was a freak accident caused by idiots in the kitchen. Someone bumped into me from behind, meaning I bumped into her causing her to wrap her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist to keep from falling on her ass.
Fuck, it would be easy to slam her against the freezer to my right. Or even lay her down on the cutting board to my left — because nothing screamed sexy quite like a cutting board or raw meat.
Her breath hitched as her breathing shallowed. I focused in on those blue eyes, that blonde hair that I’d dreamt about pulling more times than I could count.
And then her bandaged hand touched my face.
I exhaled slowly like I needed time to process.
And then with the self-restraint of a god, I set her on her feet and whispered, “Just be careful today, all right? If you want me to take over your class I can—”
“And yet again life makes sense.” Hurt flashed in her eyes. “Are you seriously taking advantage of the fact that I burned myself?”
I rolled my eyes. “Are you seriously assuming I’m that big of a dick?”
She said nothing.
“Wow.” I threw my hands in the air. “I was just trying to be nice. Then again, you probably don’t know what that means do you? Girls like you—”
“Girls like me?” she repeated. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“You tell me, SP.” I smirked. “Girls born in castles with gold shoes and silver spoons, brand new BMWs and enough friends to fill this entire campground.”
She paled. “Funny how you think you know so much about my life now, funny how the only information you have is based on the past. They say it takes a while for guys to grow up, shouldn’t you have been at least halfway by now?”
It hit a hot button. That she was making me feel like the immature one.
“Don’t be a bitch.” That’s what I went with.
“Um, guys?” Brax poked his head in the kitchen.
“What!” we yelled in unison.
“Campers can hear you. I can hear you. God, he hears all, so maybe just… use inside voices and stop cursing?” He smiled. “Thanks!”
“Shit.” I wiped my hands down my face. “Do you have to be so damn provoking?”
“Do you have to be such a giant asshole?” she asked sweetly.
I just clenched my teeth and turned on my heel. “If you need help, don’t ask. And for the record, I was trying to be nice.”
She didn’t say anything.
I didn’t give her a chance to, not really. I was already pushing my way back into the mess hall cursing myself to hell.
Why did she have to make everything so difficult?
It was like trying to mix oil and water, peanut butter and pepper. Nothing mixed, nothing worked. She was like this beat-down dog that refused to believe anyone had anything good to offer her.
And that’s when it hit me.
Maybe.
She truly believed there wasn’t.
Maybe the flaw wasn’t me.
Maybe it was just humans in general.
It haunted me the rest of the day, that thought, that pathetically sad thought, that in a world full of hatred — she never saw the light and truly believed that goodness was dead.
And that I wasn’t one of the ones who could change her opinion, since my only goal had been to sleep with her and walk away.
Well fucking done Marlo.
I SLAMMED MY hands down on the table. Sweat from my forehead dripped down my cheeks, off my chin — I was a complete mess. The studio was a nice ninety degrees. I had every freakin’ window open so I could get a breeze to blow through.
And I was pissed.
Still berating myself for how I’d acted with Marlo.
I knew he was trying to be nice.
But then he’d called me a bitch.
And I’d just reacted, reacted out of a need to keep my job, I thought he had been threatening me again and then it was too late.
Always too late with him.
I hung my head as the music poured over the system.
The dance moves weren’t necessarily hard, I just needed a partner, and I had too much pride to ask the one person who could probably do most of the numbers in his sleep.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Jackson’s deep voice reverberated through the room.
I groaned and wiped my face off with a towel. “I have no energy for your bullshit.”
“Aw, tuckered yourself all out getting pissed at Marlo during breakfast or have you just been dancing for the last four hours since your class ended.” Yeah, he wasn’t leaving. I heard no door shut.
With a sigh, I turned around and crossed my arms over my tight black tank top. “Both.”
He nodded, his smile reaching his eyes like he found amusement in my pain. And then he peeled off his shirt and tossed it on the ground.
I held up my hands. “That seriously wasn’t an invite, Jackson.”
“And as sad as I am about said circumstances between us…” He sauntered over to me, his jeans slung low on his hips. “…I’m actually here to save your tight ass.”
I gritted my teeth. “Compliment me in that way again, and I’m going to be shoving my equally tight foot up yours.”
He grinned. “Fair.”
I re-did my ponytail and grabbed the iPad, pressing play again for the song between Johnny and Baby, it was the epic Lover Boy song where she was crawling all around the floor and— “Aghhhh!” I tugged at my hair.
The music kept going.
And then hands were on my shoulders.
I jerked in surprise.
“Calm down…” Jackson laughed. “Again, I come in peace, walk me through the steps and I’ll adjust where necessary.”
“I must be desperate.” I hung my shoulders
in defeat.
“Just tired,” he said in a soft voice that held no humor whatsoever.
I turned and stared into his green eyes. “I’m not sleeping with you.”
“I’m not offering my services.” His grin was back.
“Services.” I rolled my eyes. “You would call it that, like you’re just servicing a car engine, or checking the oil.”
He just shrugged as if it was all the same.
Men.
“Fine.” I closed my eyes and then opened them as I gripped his outstretched hands and started the cha-cha like they’d performed in the musical.
As his character had done, Jackson kept trying to throw me off, to grab me and pull me into his arms.
So basically, he was playing himself only better.
I laughed and pulled away then went to the corner of the room and started lip syncing. He lay back on the floor while I got on my hands and knees and crawled toward him, both of us lip-synching.
I found myself smiling more than once.
And then he abruptly stood and pressed stop on the iPad and crossed his arms. “Your soul is missing.”
“Excuse me?” I jumped to my feet and dusted off my clothes. “What the hell does that even mean?”
“It means,” he said with a sly smile. “That you don’t give two shits about me — in real life, that is — and when you act through the choreography you’re so focused on the next step, anticipating your next movement, that you lose that moment, that feeling when your soul tethers to the song, and by doing that, you join with your co-star in this fucking amazing threesome that makes you feel alive.” He grinned and then lowered his voice into a whisper. “Which means… I actually can’t help you, because you will never trust me enough to let go. Maybe that’s why you got a C, Ray… because you only trust in yourself when it comes to the dancing, and forget about trusting in the music, in your partner, in the joining of souls.”
With that, he grabbed his shirt and walked out of the room.
The screen slammed behind him.
Tears welled in my eyes as I hit my water bottle off the table.
Why was I even ready to cry?
Why did it matter?
A few tears slid down my cheeks. I wiped them away quickly. He was right.
God, I hated so much to say that in my head let alone out loud.
He was right.
I wasn’t feeling it.