He reached out and touched his hand to the screen. My heart warmed, and I pressed my palm to his so we felt connected through the distance. This was the man I loved. Gentle and kind. Understanding.
Almost as if he sensed my own questions, he finally spoke. "I'm confused too, Storme. I love you, but you're right. Sex just isn't part of what we have together. I don't know if it ever will be. So, maybe this is a sign for us to figure it out before we say those vows and commit. What if we took the next few weeks and threw away the rules? See if finding an attraction with someone else satisfies what's missing between us? You could pursue this guy without guilt. I can take some time in California to explore my own feelings. And then I'll come see you, and we'll make our final decision. Together."
My heart pounded wildly. Was this possible? To have the freedom to explore possibilities without the guilt of betrayal? "Are you doing this so you don't lose me? I couldn't stand it if this would hurt you or if you're sacrificing your needs so I can satisfy mine."
He shook his head. "No. I've had some doubts myself. I can't imagine life without you, but I've also been pushing this problem to the back of my mind. Maybe we can finally figure out if we can live happily without...passion. Or lust, or sex. Whatever it is everyone else seems so focused on. Does that make sense?"
"Yes."
"Okay, then, from now till the end of the summer, there are no rules. I'll fly out in a few weeks, and we'll talk. I don't think we should tell anyone or cancel the wedding until we give ourselves some time."
"Okay. I agree." We talked a little more and caught up on business. When he finally clicked off, I stared at the blank screen for a while, realizing I had received a priceless gift.
An opportunity to finally confirm Phillip was the man I was meant to marry.
I couldn't believe Phillip felt the same way. Knowing he also had doubts confirmed this was the right thing for both of us. We needed to explore our options before we said those vows, and suddenly, I didn't feel so alone with my worries.
Now, I just had to find out if Holden would be willing to give me that same time to figure out what I'd been missing.
Chapter Twelve
HOLDEN
I WALKED UP THE BEACH, hands stuffed in my pockets, and wondered how I could get her out of my head. I tried with the pool party girl. I really did. I was charming and funny, and she pressed her massive boobs against my arm and did that thing where she threw her head back, exposing her throat, which was a huge invite to just kiss her.
Storme had given me the same invite. Except I remembered her shocked, drugged eyes pinned to mine as if my touch was the best thing she'd ever discovered in her life. I imagined her smell and taste and suddenly, I couldn't stand being near the blonde.
Oh, Brian had been pissed.
So here I was, moping around again and trying to figure out if I should go home early. I turned the corner, heading back toward the fire, and saw her.
I froze.
She was highlighted by the flickering flames of the fire. Some corny pop music was blasting from speakers, and she laughed as she bounced up and down in a parody of dancing, flinging her slender arms up over her head, swinging her hips to the beat with a dark sensuality that pounded from her aura, calling me.
She wore a white crocheted top that left her stomach bare. Golden-brown skin looked smooth and soft. A silver hoop pierced her belly button in open rebellion. Tiny denim shorts barely covered her ass. Her raven hair spilled over her shoulders, the strands sliding back and forth over her breasts in a game of peek-a-boo I was desperate to win.
I had to get the hell out of here, or I'd lose it.
Her gaze slid over and locked with mine.
Time stood still.
My blood roared, and my dick hardened. I knew in that moment I'd say anything, do anything to get her into my bed. It was a hungry, raw need I had to slake in order to move on with my life.
I couldn't move, though my brain screamed for me to retreat before it was too late. As if she sensed my thoughts, she broke away from the crowd and walked toward me. Her bare feet drifted over the damp sand, and she never broke eye contact as each step moved her closer. Finally, she stood in front of me, her breath coming in tiny gasps from her plump lips.
My hand shot out and caught her around the wrist. Sparks burned my fingers.
Sloe eyes widened, but her body trembled in my grip, and I knew she was just as affected by me. We were caught up in a twisted, dark game of sexual attraction, but I refused to surrender. I lowered my voice to a growl. "What are you doing to me?"
"I need to talk to you." Her lower lip trembled. "Please."
I gritted my teeth and loosened my grip. "Fine. But I'm not playing these games anymore, sugar."
She kept quiet and followed me down the beach and behind the dunes. The roar of the ocean mingled with the faint sounds of the party.
"What do you want?" I asked. Hell, I tried to pretend I didn't care, but I was practically shaking with need. Need to grab her and slam my mouth over hers and teach her every dark, dirty thing I could do to bring her pleasure.
Her next words hit me like a sucker punch. "You. I want you. Do you still want a summer affair?"
Holy shit, I'd gone to heaven and hell at the same time. She was offering herself up to me, and I was a dickhead not to tumble her right on the sand, here and now, and fuck her senseless.
But I was an honorable dickhead. "Trying to get your fiance jealous? Play some head games? No thanks, sugar. Those are not my types of games."
"I told Phillip about us," she said. "About the kiss." My brows shot up in disbelief. She stumbled over the rest of her explanation. "See, we may have been together a long time, but we don't--we don't--have--have--"
"Have what?" I asked, impatient.
"Have sex." She ducked her head, looking kind of miserable. I tried not to let my mouth fall open. WTF? They didn't have sex? She was a walking, talking temptress. A man would have to be nuts not to want her. Or gay.
"See, we're trying to figure some things out. We agreed to take the rest of the summer off. No rules. We both explore some other options and then make our decision about the wedding at the end of the summer."
Now my head was spinning like I was shot out to outer space. This was perhaps the weirdest conversation I'd ever had with a woman. Yet my dick could cut steel and was weeping for me to shut up and get to some action.
I ignored my little head and tried to make sense of the offer. "You're taking a break from your engagement? Both of you agreed to this?"
"Yes."
"And you want me to be your temporary summer screw?"
Her head shot up, and sparks flew from her eyes. Ah, the spitfire was back, and she was pissed. "Yes. Okay? Yes! So you can go ahead and make fun, and puff out your chest like the egotist pig you are, but I owed you the truth. For some crazy reason, I want you, even though you're a complete ass."
Oh, she was hot. I'd never found such banter almost as exciting as the sex. "Not a good way to seduce me, sugar," I drawled on purpose, taking in her flushed cheeks. "Flowers and candy may work better."
"Screw you."
She spun on her bare heel and stalked away. I wanted to stop her and satisfy this crazy physical addiction, but another part of me needed to think. It was still sticky to have an affair with a semi-engaged woman I liked more than I should. Even as I knew I'd probably take her up on the offer, I wanted it on my terms.
"I'll let you know," I called out to her.
The breeze carried an expletive that impressed me, and I laughed, ignoring the pure joy that filled me at the idea she'd finally be mine.
On my terms. Not hers.
I grinned, making my plans, and walked off the beach.
Chapter Thirteen
STORME
I SPENT THE NEXT FEW DAYS finalizing details for my wedding and trying not to think of Holden's reaction to my offer. Every morning I woke up in a twisted tangle of damp sheets with my body on fire for something just
out of reach. He humiliated me like no other man had ever done. Yet I'd sensed the want humming from his skin, the way his pupils dilated in pure lust. He wanted me, but wasn't ready to take the leap. In a way, his honor weakened my resolve further. He was a man who refused to pursue unless he knew I was free. His image taunted me, and I threw myself into trying to avoid him at all costs. Kelsey and Leigh were involved in their own whirlwind relationships, so I kept busy doing nonstop errands and sewing.
Finally, exhausted by trying to distract myself, I decided to visit one of the boutiques, Glamorized, where I did a lot of business. The moment I stepped into the shop, the gorgeous scents of subtle perfume, fresh flowers, and lush fabrics rushed over me like a drug hit. Immediately I calmed, browsing through the racks, my mind consistently sifting through ideas for my own designs.
"Storme! How are you, darling?"
I was embraced by an elegant woman with a neat golden bob, sparkling blue eyes, and a lean, trim figure. Elana was the owner of the shop and always encouraged my talent in fashion. I laughed, taking in her elegant charcoal pantsuit, chunky jewelry, and smart red scarf. "Wonderful! I've missed you. Haven't had any time to pop in and do some serious damage."
Elana waved her manicured hand in the air. "No worries. You're planning a wedding, for goodness' sake. You must be overwhelmed."
I shifted my feet as the guilt hit me. "Umm, yes, but I think everything is under control."
"Where is your charming fiance?"
"He's in California for the summer."
"How tragic. Just look at it as the last separation you'll have for the rest of your life." She winked. "And it makes for great reunion sex."
I blushed. My thoughts drifted to Holden. Was he the type to tumble a woman to the floor in a rush? I remembered the last time Phillip came to see me at school. It had been several weeks, and when he came into the dorm, he'd given me a quick hug, peck on the forehead, and launched into chatter about the business. I had a feeling Holden would greet his woman a bit differently. "Yes, I guess it does," I said blandly.
"Well, enough chitchat. Let's get you hooked up with some fun party outfits. You doing your bachelorette party in the Hamptons?"
"Yes, my friends have a whole night planned."
"Then we need sexy. Come with me."
I spent the next hour in nirvana, flipping through pieces of designer clothing and catching up with Elana. When I had my hands full of purchases and felt a bit calmer, she reached out then touched my handbag. Instead of the normal designer bags, I tended to sew and bead my own for fun. The current one I carried was a soft canary yellow with turquoise stones lining the straps and base. "You must tell me where to buy this bag, I'm in love."
I smiled. "I made it."
Elana blinked. Then stared. "Darling, what are you doing working in a vineyard? I mean, I knew you made clothes as a hobby, but this shows true talent." Her fingers ran over the stitching. "Quality and style. I'd love to have a few of these to sell in my shop."
Excitement lit me up like a match. "Really?" I chewed my lower lip and thought over my schedule. "I'm sure I can get you a few by next week." After all, I needed to keep myself occupied. I still had extra fabric and could whip up a few.Elana beamed. "Perfect. I'll position them as one of a kind. Patrons like when there's not too many, anyway. It becomes more exclusive and, therefore, more in demand."
I thanked her and left the store, my spirits lifted. I enjoyed working at the family vineyard but never experienced the intensity and thrill I did with design. I wanted to sew and get my hands dirty. I craved the crazy, cutthroat, thrilling world of fashion, but I was bound to the family vineyard, soon to be bound to Phillip.
Phillip supported me and encouraged me to follow my dream, telling me we could find a way for me to design. But running the vineyard was a full-time job, and I knew it. And my parents would never settle for anyone but a member of the family at the helm. It meant everything to them.
My mind flashed to the acceptance letter I'd received from The Fashion Institute of Technology. I could still go. I wasn't ready to close that final door and tell them I wouldn't attend. For now, I let myself have the dream for the summer and hoped I'd be ready to move on once I got married.
If I got married.
Wrapped up in my thoughts, I shifted the bulging packages to my other hand and waited for the flashing light to turn to WALK.
"Retail therapy?"
I twisted my head around and gasped. Holden stood next to me on the sidewalk, casually dressed in a black tank, denim cutoffs, and flip-flops. His full lips curved slightly downward in that amused sneer that made me both annoyed and hot as hell. He had a laptop case slung over one shoulder, completely at odds with his appearance.
"Are you following me?" I asked. God, just the thought of our last conversation made my cheeks burn.
He shrugged. "Nope. Just finished up lunching with some friends and heading back. Paranoid much?"
I stared at him, thrown off by his approach. He seemed like the old Holden, slightly sarcastic, badass, and distant. The one I'd first met before we kissed. Before I'd told him I was engaged. "I was shopping." I blushed, feeling like an idiot at my obvious statement. That lip quirked up again. The dark side of me wanted to bite it, then soothe with my tongue. Oh, my God, I was losing it.
"I figured that out." The light turned, but we didn't move. He jerked his head. "Bet you're thirsty. Wanna get a cocktail?"
I frowned. "Why?"
He let out a booming, masculine laugh that made me smile. "Why not? Let's call a short truce. If we're going to have a summer fling, we should get to know each other a bit better first, right?"
Suspicion loomed. "Maybe I changed my mind," I finally said. "Maybe I've decided to take back my offer."
The humor disappeared from his face. Those green eyes darkened with emotion that made me catch my breath. "Too late."
The sexual tension cranked a notch tighter. I knew I should thank him politely and go home. Any extra time spent with this man was dangerous because he was an addiction. But like the addict I was, I seized on the opportunity to just be in his presence. Maybe he was right. A longer conversation could prove right here, right now that we had nothing beyond a surface attraction.
"Okay."
"Follow me." He quickly relieved me of all my packages and led me down the sidewalk, finally stopping at a quaint Italian restaurant. The midday crowd had thinned, and the hostess led us to a back terrace. Pots of red geraniums cheerfully lined the space, matching the red umbrellas and brick floor. I ordered a glass of wine, and Holden ordered a Peroni.
"What did you get?" he asked, stretching out his long legs and settling back in the wrought iron chair as he motioned to my bags on the chair beside me.
"You really interested?" I teased. "Two tops, one skirt, a dress, and a sarong."
"What's a sarong look like?"
I shook my head at his ignorance. "It's a wraparound garment that cinches around the waist and ties at the hip. Usually worn over bathing suits."
He nodded. I couldn't believe we were having this type of conversation. All I could remember was my legs spread wide, perched on his bike while he pleasured me to orgasm.
My breath got stuck, so I ducked my head, pretending to be engrossed in the elaborate tiles of the table. "Have you ever made one?" he asked.
"No, but I've made some beach cover-ups for my friends." I lifted my beaded purse up for his inspection. "And I made this."
He took it, examining the fabric, running his fingers over the stitching. "Not that I work for the fashion channel or anything, but I think women would love this shit."
I laughed. "Well put. I actually had a great surprise. Elana--the owner of the shop I was in--asked me to make a few of these for her to sell."
Men didn't care about discussing accessories and clothing, so I waited for him to nod and move on. Instead, he gave a big grin. "Congratulations, that's amazing. The boutiques around here are high-end, so she must think they're special
."
Pride flowed through me. "See, I bought different shades of this fabric here"--I pointed to the high sheen and sleek fabric of the purse--"and then I found these amazing beads in this Native American store that no one seems to know about, and I interchanged the colors so it would be bold but not garish. The interior is big enough to be practical, but gives the impression of something a bit more high-end, which usually makes women squeeze their stuff into tiny little spaces."
"How many are you going to deliver?"
"I can only make about five, but she's going for more exclusivity, so it works."
His face turned serious, his voice clipped as if we'd entered a conference room. "If they sell, you may want to enter an agreement. Did you negotiate your commission?"
I bit my lip. Uh-oh. I'd been so grateful to Elana for selling my stuff, I hadn't really thought about being paid. "Not really."
His brow lifted. "What percentage did you agree to?"
I shifted in my seat. "Well, we didn't get that far."
"Please don't tell me you agreed to the deal and have no idea what you're getting out of it."
"Fine, I won't tell you."
"What? You're in business for yourself. What if they sell out quick and people want more? You need to think long-term, approach some other shops and figure out cost minus commission. Have you created a business plan?"
Fascinated, I watched my biker turn into a cool executive. I squeezed my thighs together as arousal dampened my panties. Damn, both sides of this man made me hotter than Hades. And why had I mentally claimed him as mine? "No."
"You should have one. This could be your entry into bigger things. Do you want me to help you do a cost-benefit analysis?"
Holy shit. He was supposed to be a penniless beach bum. I leaned over the table and studied him. "How do you know about all this? And what are you doing with a laptop?"
Holden stiffened as if just realizing he'd made a big mistake. Turning his focus to his beer, he took a long sip before answering. "I wanted to show the guys some YouTube videos."
I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "You have a phone for that."
"I wanted a bigger screen."
Oh, yeah, something was up. He stank of deception. But what would he be hiding? "Did you study business in college or something?" I asked.