“So,” Addison says a few minutes after Courtney has left with our laundry, “Jeanie, how are we going to make them pay?”
“Oh, so now you want my help,” she says. I know that look. It’s the one Kate gives me anytime Margo asks my opinion over her own.
“Of course!” Camilla looks at her strangely. “You always plan the raids.”
That pleases her. “I say we strike tonight while they’re least expecting it.”
“That will be when they are most expecting it,” I disagree, and everyone looks at me. “Think about it. They’ll probably have whipped cream cans aimed at anyone who comes through their bunk door.”
“I’m with Camping Barbie on this one,” Melody admits, and Jeanie frowns.
“Me too,” says Lina. “Who else agrees?” Everyone but Camilla and Jeanie raises their hands.
“What does she know? She’s been here a week!” Jeanie cries. “I’m a Lifer. I know this place better than anyone.” Camilla clears her throat. “Well, as well as you guys do.” She stares me down. “You got lost on your way back from the main office yesterday.”
I shrug. “All the trails here look the same.”
“The point is, you have no clue how the Pines works,” Jeanie says. “Leave the raids to those of us who have done it before.”
“Are you saying Harper can’t offer suggestions?” Lina looks menacing right now. The other girls look at her. “She’s trying to help here.”
“That’s not what I said!” Jeanie sighs. “I need time to think. The smell in here is still making me nauseated.”
“I could light a candle,” I suggest. “I still held on to one.”
“No,” they all say at the same time, and I shrug.
“We don’t have time to debate this,” Camilla tells Jeanie. “The decision is up to you—do we strike tonight or do you think we should go with Harper and strike in a few days? Before or after the first overnight camping trip? That’s three days away.”
I can’t keep quiet any longer. “What if we got them back this Saturday after the All-Camp Night? We go to bed late, so everyone will be tired and they’ll never see us coming.”
“I like it,” Addison says. “Sneak attack!” The others murmur their agreement. Lina looks worriedly at Jeanie. She does not look pleased, but I don’t care. Now that I have their attention, I can’t stop talking.
“I don’t know what you guys usually use for raids, but I would do something completely different.” I pick up a whipped cream can and throw it in the garbage. “Forget syrups. Let’s put glue on plastic wrap and hang it over the doorways so they get stuck in it when they try to go to the bathroom.” Vickie applauds. “And let’s put something super sticky on the floor like Fruit Roll-Ups, so they can’t walk.” Trisha and Melody cheer.
“Fruit Roll-Ups?” Jeanie looks disgusted, and I’m not sure if it’s because of my suggestion or because she’s holding a whipped-cream-covered lamp.
“I like it! That will be easy to get our hands on,” Addison says.
“I saw it in a movie once,” I say. “I’ve got loads of ideas like that one. I helped the seniors at our school plan the Halloween fun house last year, so I know how to make really disgusting things. I just wear rubber gloves while I work.” Everyone laughs.
“Well, I guess Harper is running our raid then,” Jeanie says, and I do a double take at her abrupt change in attitude. “I know when I’m beat,” she tells the others. “I can’t wait to see what you come up with. You said Saturday night, right?”
“Saturday night,” I repeat, practically beaming. Jeanie is agreeing with me for the first time ever! “I’ll have everything ready.”
Jeanie offers me a thin smile. “I’m sure you will.”
Harper McAllister @HarperMc
Camp tip: Only a security camera could stop nighttime raids, but that’s okay. We’ll get them back. #revengewillbesweet
12
GET PACKING
LINA EYES MY OVERNIGHT BAGS warily. “I think you may have overpacked.”
I look at my two Louis Vuitton duffel bags and frown. One has swimsuits and pajamas; the other is clothes and hair accessories for any type of weather (torrential rain: headbands; wind storm: hair ties). The hipster slung across my waist holds my makeup, bug spray, and a heinous reality-TV-star fragrance Kyle gave me for Christmas that I am sure will ward off bears and mountain lions. I’ve never been “real” camping before—as opposed to “fake” camping—which is what everyone says Whispering Pines is. Not camping would have suited me just fine, too, but Courtney didn’t buy my whole “Beaver needs me in the kitchen” excuse. So here we are.
“Haven’t you ever seen Doomsday Preppers? I’m in survival mode,” I tell Lina. “What if we get into the woods and we forgot our toothbrushes? Or toilet paper?” I pat one of my duffels. “I’m prepared for any situation.”
“Prepared would have been taking that survival elective I am in,” Lina says. “The obstacle course was insane! Kyle and I had the same time for the course yesterday.”
“Glad you’re having fun with it. I am perfectly happy in pottery,” I say. I hate not taking all my electives with Lina—Margo, Kate, and I do everything together at Friends Prep—but I cannot survive boxing, Tai Chi, softball, or whatever else she has planned next. “I pulled a calf muscle while paddleboarding, even though I never moved my legs.”
“You did not pull a calf muscle!” Lina says, and we both laugh.
The cabin door springing open startles us. The two of us go quiet as our bunkmates file out behind Jeanie. We’re both still upset that they left us out of the raid on the boys’ bunk. The wannabe Merida doesn’t make eye contact with me, but I think she can feel my anger. I’m channeling Darth Vader at the moment.
“We’re heading to the canteen before the hike. Do you need anything?” Addison asks us tentatively. They’re all wearing hiking boots. I’ve only got my bedazzled Chucks.
“Already went,” Lina says curtly. “Thanks.”
Addison nods. I notice her guiltily glance my way and then quickly look at the lake again. Vickie and Trisha stare at the tattered porch floor. “Okay then. See you in a bit.” She starts to leave, but Jeanie puts out a hand to stop her.
“Those bags are kind of large for an overnight trip,” Jeanie says, pointing to the duffels at my feet. My bunkmates’ bags are lined up on the porch. Everyone has hiking backpacks, which are much smaller than my duffels. Lina included. “Any chance you’re moving out?” Jeanie asks boldly, and Camilla stifles a giggle. That’s the last time I give her my good shampoo.
The hairs on my arm stand up. I take a step toward Jeanie, and she takes a step back. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” I say quietly, and the rest of the girls watch us. Lina grabs my arm, but she needn’t worry. “It’s not happening.”
Jeanie shrugs. “Your loss. Just like the raid all over again.” She smiles sweetly. “I can’t believe I forgot to tell you about the change in plans, especially when you gave us such good ideas for getting back at the boys. The sticky plastic wrap trick was a real winner. Ethan and the guys still don’t know how we came up with it.” She and Camilla laugh and hurry down the porch steps after Addison and Vickie. I notice Melody and Trisha look back at me before following her.
When they’re out of sight, I drop to the porch floor with a thud. “Maybe I should pack it in,” I say to Lina. “I can’t plan a raid without it being stolen out from under me, and I’ve failed Camping Trip Packing 101 before we’ve even left. Who knows what will happen if I actually hike into the woods?” I sit on one of my bags. “I bet today isn’t even the overnight trip. Jeanie just wants you and me to think it is.” I glare at our cabin, which is the place where Jeanie’s deception started. “She’ll also probably give me directions to the wrong campsite, and you’ll have to send out a search party.”
Lina sits down on the floor next to me. “That’s not going to happen. We all travel together.” I look at her. “But I know what you mean. What Jeanie
did with the raid was rotten. I can’t believe the rest of the bunk let her get away with that.”
I place my elbows on my knees and bite my nail. Lina swats my hands away. “I’m smart!” I say. “I should have realized Jeanie was never going to let the bunk go with my suggestion. Instead she took all my ideas—and the Fruit Roll-Ups Mom FedExed—and used them herself.”
“Did you see Addison’s and the other girls’ faces just now?” Lina asks me. “You can tell they feel bad about leaving us out, but no one goes against Jeanie.”
I wonder if Ethan realizes Lina and I weren’t there that night. Even though Jeanie and Ethan are not going out, it bothers me that she got to play a trick on him and I didn’t. He saw me drool in my sleep! I should have been able to see what kind of pj’s he wears to bed. Does he snore or does he sleep like a baby? Jeanie knows and I don’t. But why do I care? To Ethan, I’m just Camping Barbie.
“She had me fooled, too,” Lina reminds me. “I should have known something was off the way she kept complimenting my London Blue drawing.”
“Your London Blue drawing is good,” I tell her. “Why do you think Hitch wants it to anchor the board? It’s brilliant, just like my ideas for the raid were brilliant. The only way raiding last night would have been better is if the girls hit the boys’ bunk so hard they weren’t able to clean up in time to go on the overnight camping trip. Then we would have had to cancel it.” I stare dreamily at the lake. “I would have loved that.”
“I have something that will cheer you up.” Lina gets up and goes to her backpack and pulls out a piece of loose-leaf paper. “I was going to give it to you tonight after you survived your first hike, but I think you need it now.” She hands me the paper. “Presenting Super Camping Barbie!”
It’s a drawing of me in a shiny red cape and high white boots. My hair is whipping around as I fly over the Pines in the cutest dress I’ve ever seen. On the top Lina’s written: “She’s braver than she looks! She’s stronger than they realize! She’s going to take the whole camp by storm! She’s Super Camping Barbie!”
“I love it.” I feel teary. I can’t remember the last time a friend did something for me. Kate and Margo may buy me jeans, but that’s nothing like this. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Lina grins. “I wanted you to see that you’re better at camp stuff than you think.” She plays with one of her pink braids. “I’m glad you’re here.”
I hear an animal calling in the distance, and I jump. “That came from the woods, didn’t it?” I ask. “The woods we’re going to now. For twenty-four hours! Outside! With real animals! Big animals!” Suddenly I feel very sweaty and am ready to hyperventilate. “I love you, Lina, but I’ve got to find Courtney and get out of this trip. When she mentioned overnighters, I thought she meant to places like Boston, Rhode Island, or Six Flags, where we would stay in a hotel. Not sleeping in the woods. Is it hotter all of a sudden?” I clutch my chest.
“You’re going to be fine,” Lina says, and breathes in and out hoping I’ll copy her. “I’m going to be there with you. Hiking is a piece of cake. I’m just bummed they canceled the regular first camping trip—white-water rafting. It’s too bad the river overflowed.”
My eyes nearly pop out of my head. “Yeah, too bad.”
“Rafting is so much more of an adrenaline rush,” Lina says. “Hiking is meditative. And then once we get there and set up camp, it’s fun. We have sing-alongs, make s’mores, and tell ghost stories.”
“Do any of them involve a city girl getting eaten by a mountain lion?” I ask.
“You’ve seen one too many horror movies.” Lina reties her hiking boots. She’s got all the hiking must-haves—compass, binoculars, birdcall whistle.
The screen door to the cabin slams again. Courtney is wearing jean shorts and an official camp tee with a sweatshirt. She has a small backpack on. Yep, I overpacked.
I am also overdressed in a chiffon halter top. I still refuse to dumb down my fashion for camp. I even bedazzled my Converse sneakers with pink and silver rhinestones to give them a little bling. When I get home, I’m thinking of suggesting to McDaddy that we create a camp fashion line for fashion-forward campers like myself.
“You ladies ready to go?” Courtney asks. “Where is everyone else?”
“They ran to the canteen for snacks,” Lina says.
I stand up and feel my legs almost buckle. “I’m not sure I’m ready for this,” I tell Courtney. “I think my breakfast is ready to come back up, and I only had a grapefruit.”
Courtney looks skeptically at my bags. She lifts one. “You’re not going to make it a quarter of a mile up the trail with this load, and we’ve got quite a walk to the campsite. Hitch already dropped off all our camping equipment. The most you need is a change or two of clothes, your swimsuit, and bug spray. What do you have in this thing? Bricks?”
“She’s ready for the end of the world,” Lina tells her.
“We’ll be back tomorrow by noon, so you do not need to bring your whole trunk,” Courtney says. I start to protest. “You can shower right away when you get back, so you don’t need any toiletries, either. Camping is about roughing it. Start repacking.”
I drop to my knees again. “Fine.” I look at the duffels sadly. Sorry, old friends. I guess this is one trip you’re too good for. Wish the same could be said for me.
Harper McAllister @HarperMc
Overnight camping trip starts now. If you don’t hear from me in 24 hours, alert Good Morning America and send a search party! #ihatecamping
13
INTO THE WILD
WHEN COURTNEY SAID “HIT THE road,” I didn’t know she meant literally, but a half hour later, the marshmallows are hiking down the road like hitchhikers. Lina says this is a back road out of camp that the food vendors use, so there is little chance of us being run over, but I’m more worried about passing out. Cole, Thomas, Courtney, and Sam keep yelling out camp songs for us to sing and are forcing us to play I Spy. I’m so winded from walking, I can barely speak, let alone think of where Sam is looking when she says, “I spy a sign that says ‘No firearms in this area.’ ”
“Five points,” Kyle sings as he passes by me. Ethan is walking with him. I don’t comment on his green hair. “Ready to make it six to two?” Kyle asks. “That’s going to be the score when you ditch the hike.” I’m trying not to laugh in his face. He has a green goatee drawn on his chin.
“Ignore him,” Lina says to me.
“Or I’ll tell you what.” Kyle keeps going. “If you make it through the campout, you can have three whole points to make us even again. If. I know there is no way you’re trekking two miles to the site,” he adds. “Maybe if you were an alicorn like Twilight Sparkle and could just fly there.”
Lina’s head practically spins off. “You’re a brony?” Kyle nods. “Did you like the episode where—”
The two of them pick up their pace as they get into a deep My Little Pony discussion. I can’t keep up with them. Nor do I want to discuss Ponyville politics. Kyle and Lina are so fast, soon they’ve caught up with the rest of the pack. Jeanie, Camilla, and Addison are in the lead with Cole and Thomas, followed closely by Sam, Courtney, and all the campers, including Sam’s bunk and the rest of mine. Justin, Heath, and Dirk have partnered up with Vickie, Melody, and Trisha. Ethan and I are now bringing up the rear.
“Not a brony?” Ethan asks me. His hair has a green hue, but he’s dressed appropriately for camping in a fitted navy tee with a slogan I don’t recognize and lacrosse shorts. Suddenly I feel foolish for wearing chiffon. It may be pretty, but I am sweating. I wish I could change, but I don’t think there is a changing room where I’m going. Just tents. I shudder.
“The only club I belong to is ‘fashionistas,’ ” I joke.
“Hence the Camping Barbie title,” he says. His expression changes. “Does the nickname bother you at all?”
I shrug. “A little, but I’m trying not to let it get to me. The truth is, I’m a girly girl who prefers
facials to camping. Might as well embrace the title.”
Ethan looks impressed. He hikes his backpack higher. “I’d say ‘good for you,’ but I’m still a little bitter about my green hair.” He gives me a hard look. “And the fact that I’ve been cleaning up smushed Fruit Roll-Ups all morning. Thanks for that. And this.” He holds up his left hand, and I see there is Sharpie written on his arm. “HIT ME. I DESERVE IT!” it reads. He gives me a smile that could melt a Popsicle in seconds. “Although I must admit, whoever’s idea it was to put glue on plastic wrap and hang it in a doorway is a genius. Dirk walked right into it when he was racing to the bathroom to get shaving cream out of his hair.”
“That was my idea,” I say proudly. I just wasn’t there to put the plan in action.
“Smooth,” Ethan says admiringly. “Did you also come up with the idea to put Fruit Roll-Ups on the floor?”
“Yes, but I’m sure Jeanie will say that was all her idea.” I try not to sound bitter, but Ethan still looks at me strangely. “Lina and I weren’t part of the raid,” I admit. “We wanted to do it after All-Camp Night. Jeanie agreed, but then I guess she decided to do it last night instead without us. Maybe she didn’t want me to miss my beauty sleep.”
Ethan grimaces. “Red can be tough to deal with sometimes.”
Red. He even has a cute nickname for her. Gag. I wipe my mouth with my hand before I realize what I’m doing is completely unladylike. I can’t help it. I am sweating in this grueling heat! I swear, camp is ripping away at my proper-girl image bit by bit. I lean too far back for a second and nearly fall backward.
“Whoa, are you okay?” Ethan asks. “Let me carry that for you for a bit.” I don’t argue when he slips my backpack off my shoulders and slings it over his arm. “Geez, what do you have in here?”