"I, Jenny Owens vow loyalty and love, in gain and in loss, whether the gain is realized or the loss is unrealized according to the rules of the Generally Accepted Accounting Principles, wherever those rules apply, in debt and in credit, in ownership or in rent, in work and in leisure, fully owned or in timeshare, in presence and in absence, to my lovely wife-to-be Shalia Owell, partner in love, business, and personal matters, within the Church of the Holy Flower, acknowledging the terms of its heaven, material or not."
"I now bless you as wife and wife complementary of me, the priestess of the Holy Flower. Jenny Owens is now married to Shalia Owell, who is married to me as well, you may kiss the broderie Jenny, it will symbolize the union for both, both of you are Lady Scafarels in waiting." Jenny Owens moved closer to her new wife and kissed her cleavage, meeting the soft fabric on the way. Several lights of the broderie lit up, indicating a rise in temperature of Shalia Owell, who kissed Jenny Owens a deep, wet kiss, further engaging two or three spare lights on the broderie, at hip, waist, backside, and navel levels. Scafarel, dressed casually, extended her hand to the attorney sitting by the conference table acting as altar.
"Let's proceed with the legalities of the wedding, power of attorney document please." The attorney of the Church that Clarity had seen at the Church's bank and trading floor, handed a pile of paper to Scafarel, and a blue ink limited edition copper and gold-plated Montegrappa fountain pen worth over five thousand dollars, depicting the intricate pattern of a Mayan Calendar. Both women signed the papers authorizing Cassandra Scafarel to replace them within the Board of Directors of Owens & Owell, for life. Charles entered the door, followed by Habib, who ran towards Montana.
"Lady Scafarel, Sensual Intelligence, Mister Donway, and a woman known as Money Fact are here, they would like to express their opposing veto to this wedding ceremony, several Ministers of the kingdom are here as well, saying that their suppliers have not received payment as agreed."
"Too late," said Scafarel, "I'm a Board member of Owens & Owell, now, with all the privileges thereof, replacing the board seats of Jenny Owens and Shalia Owell. These two women are married, and they are not returning to University of Arizona, they're carrying out their own practical sexuality studies with me."
Chapter Fifteen
Al Donway showed a photograph of the skyline of Kuala Lumpur harem to Habib, trying to mesmerize him, while Money Fact moved towards Cassandra Scafarel and the Owens & Owell girls. Habib ran towards Donway, ripping the photograph to pieces, and reaching for his neck. Money Fact reached for Habib's neck exerting pressure on the pressure point which knocked him out cold.
The good looking agent moved towards Scafarel and the two women who had just married, showing her OOL licence, the Offshore Operative Lady's licence, a diplomatic type of document and identification card available to Sensual Brigade officers that Money Fact used to travel lightly, in comfort, and without regard for expenses, charged into the corresponding spending card, a useful item of leisure, money planning and check of one's overall financial health, paid by someone else, certainly not by her.
"You're under arrest, Ms. Scafarel" said Money Fact to Scafarel, "for illegal distribution of the Elony beauty lotion in the Caribbean. The kingdom of Bahrain has agreed to extradite you, you may remain silent and clothed, and away from the Church of the Holy Flower, which is now placed under the permanent surveillance of Central Intelligence, Sensual Brigade, a U.S. jurisdiction of global intelligence."
"I have nothing to say," said Scafarel, "you'll have to speak with the lawyers of Owens & Owell, they've agreed to put me on their Board of Directors, as per the authorization of two of its members, present here, Shalia Owell and Jenny Owens."
"We'll see whether that document is valid, it was created using subtle coercion mechanisms that nullified their genuine freedom of will."
Clarity ensured that her friends could think properly, after engaging in so many different ceremonies of pleasure, alternating so many combinations of different women undressed to various degrees, and clothed to lesser degrees. Money Fact turned to Donway.
"I thought you'd spoken to the O&O Board of Directors."
"I did, but they said they were missing two members and couldn't vote on changing the Board until Jenny Owens and Shalia Owell agreed."
The women belonging to the harem of the skyline of Kuala Lumpur started to get edgy in their wedding attendance seats. Their monthly pay date was coming due, and they didn't appreciate the intervention of Donway or Money Fact with their lifestyle, attached to the flight routes of the Air Fashion Jet. Several members of the Special Security Force Command of Bahrain, a law enforcement agency under the command of the National Security Agency and the Ministry of the Interior, came to support Donway's arrest of Lady Scafarel, alledging irregularities in the conduct, transaction and payments of the mudaraba joint venture between the kingdom's Industrial Affairs unit and Owens & Owell.
Several ladies of the harem immediately became interested in attaching their lifestyle to that of a member of the Special Security Force, but each of the members was focusing on Jenny Owens, whose body was exposed as it came into the world, natural, friendly, feminine, and warm, very warm. Clarity observed that the body of Shalia Owell was not being ignored either, and several photographs were taken of both as souvenir and official testimony of the mission being carried out in the name of the highest officials of the kingdom, in the name of the highest good, and in the name of the various lights of the broderie that became lit as Shalia Owell threw a glance at the various corpulent members of the Special Security Force surrounding her assertively and intently, wondering about the identity of the good looking woman before them.
"There is a problem with, hmm, this document," said Donway, lifting the power of attorney document acknowledging the marriage of the Owens & Owell Board of Director members and the naming of Scafarel replacing them as a new Board member.
"We're married now," said Shalia Owell.
"We certainly are, and we'll put all of our money to use to deliver Lady Scafarel from prison or any other legal matters, so that she can attend Board meetings of Owens & Owell. There's nothing wrong with this Church, it's teaching us to be better persons."
"Fifty thousand dollars for a bottle of lotion which hasn't been approved by the FDA, is expensive," said Montana. She was finally getting through to her father, Carrelson Sterley who was supervising the transaction problems resulting from defective supermarket barcodes.
Scafarel, in a moment of inatentive guard duty of members of the Special Security Force, inattention due to Jenny Owens bending down and over to pick up the glass tube holding the rose of levity, which had fallen from the conference table, ran through the backdoor of the conference room, reaching the entrance of the hotel through an escalator bypass, that placed her at the wheel of a 1977 white Lotus Esprit. Clarity and Montana, followed by the two, recently wed women, took the wheel of the recreational vehicle officially built for the honeymoon of Shalia Owell and Jenny Owens, but the vehicle could not keep up with the Lotus. Scafarel drove her car expressly fast on the various roads of the kingdom's capital, until she reached the international airport of Manama.
Chapter Sixteen
Checking her watch, Scafarel approached a counter and made an X sign with her fingers to several stewardesses belonging to various airlines, who turned on music through the airport loudspeakers, and began dancing, improvising a flashmob near the duty free section. Using the time and distraction well, Scafarel boarded the Air Fashion Jet, which was filled with a group of tourists interested in the Church of the Holy Flower's heaven paradigm, and she gave an order to the control tower for an urgent, unforeseen departure, to London.
"She's leaving, the barcode watch light is turning green," said Jenny Owens, looking at her watch.
"How do you turn off this watch?" asked Clarity.
"Lady Scafarel told us never to turn it off, because the watch is like a computer clock and many items, including planes, using this sig
nal, would go awry if we did."
"Turn it off, I'll tell Money Fact to give you a nine hour whole body massage," said Clarity.
"With Shalia?"
"Yes, with Shalia," said Clarity. She remembered how tense she was and glanced at Montana, who looked disappointed.
"With Shalia, Montana and me," said Clarity.
"That's better," said Montana, beaming a look of satisfaction.
Jenny Owens turned off the barcode watch, and the lack of signals relayed inside the Air Fashion Jet prevented the autopilot from taking off. Airport security took Lady Scafarel into custody. She would have to explain all the workings and units and special groups of the Church of the Holy Flower, a far reaching infomercial scam with the veneer of a personal development program, that simply took money and never gave it back, giving flowers instead to their members, a fair deal, some would say, for flowers were notably absent from everyday life, at work in particular.
In any event, the Board of Directors of Owens & Owell returned to normal, after the power of attorney document signed by Shalia Owell and Jenny Owens disappeared unexpectedly into one of the fireplaces of L'Hotel hotel in Manama. Several Board members reminded the two wealthy women of their duties to the Board of Directors to complete their course work at University of Arizona, and a deal was struck to return to their studies in human sexuality in Arizona, in exchange for a nine hour massage with an expert on pleasure, an item of sensual prowess, a single-faceted woman of integrity and sensual intelligence, thirty two year old agent Money Fact.
Pleasure was a complex affair, thought Clarity, and people were led to very odd situations and consequences in their life because of it, including special attachment to electronic devices formerly belonging to a sex goddess. Clarity took aside Money Fact, clarifying the terms of her mission, in particular the reward aspect of it, while Donway took the rest of the people in the room, including her friends, to the reception area of the hotel for identification, arrests, and other unimportant aspects of the mission.
"The symbolic decryptor," said Clarity, "I deserve it."
"I can't say you don't, but it's not the right time," said Money Fact.
"We're free to go now, aren't we, I mean, Flower and I, regarding what happened in Cayman with the one million dollars in bonds?"
"Not exactly, we're still tracing the source and the destination of the money, Lofty Bank's license has not been renewed and the Cayman Monetary Authority is still investigating them. You have to come with us back to the U.S., to our underground center under the Bellagio fountain in Las Vegas, the symbolic computer needs to verify you're telling the truth about the bonds."
"We're telling the truth, Lofty Bank's a scam, the owner is a dog, there's no money in the bank, the money is somewhere else, all the investors have disappeared, they've all being ripped off."
"You may be right, but a scam isn't a scam until proven as a scam. It may or may not be a scam, Clarity, don't be too quick in judging others," said Money Fact.
Clarity fumed in silence, expressing her anger to Montana, both at not having received the symbolic decryptor, which was a neet item to own, and at not being free from suspicion and investigation for using money to get out of a criminal, illegal outfit such as Lofty Bank. She looked at the rose of levity that Jenny Owens was contemplating, how the girl was taking a close look at the petals, and looking for water. The Owens & Owell Light broderie matter was not over, there were threads of knowledge and explanation, many of them, yet to be uncovered by following all the underlying structures of the Church of the Holy Flower. She moved to Shalia Owell.
"Shalia, why are you part of this Church, I mean really, and why does your partner Jenny pay so much attention to that flower?"
"You've been to the Bahamas, to Hexas Style, you know what happens there, heaven number three, right?"
"Right, doing away with money, feeling long periods of pleasure, with women, with Elony, with the jade egg, Rosebud, so?"
"There's more to it than that, Rosebud is a Church codeword for initiates who want out of the Church, instead of continuing to the next stage, embodied by the rose of levity, and the rose of levity leads to the road where all spiritual roads lead, a sort of quest, whose symbol is light, light such as the light of this cream color embroidered lingerie cotton outfit, but a deeper light with ineffable meaning."
"What kind of quest, what kind of light?"
"Immortality," answered Shalia, casually taking off the OOL broderie in front of Montana, Jenny Owens, Clarity, and Money Fact, matching the 'Au Naturel' outfit of her bride. As she placed the intricate clothing item on the floor, all of the broderie's lights went out, and the temperature of the hotel conference room rose by a few degrees.
Chapter Seventeen
SUN ON THE ROCKS amusements for adults, in easy to read, banana humor order.
THE MALIBU CASE.
THE ACAPULCO COCKTAIL.
THE CAYMAN AIR BANNER.
THE BAHAMAS LOTION.
THE ADULT CHANNEL.
THE OOL BRODERIE.
THE BELLAGIO WIKILEAK.
THE CUBAN RENEGADE.
THE SUGAR BABY.
THE MARBLE TOUCAN.
THE OUTDOOR SHOWER.
THE EMOTION SCALE.
MERIDIAN 57.
THE VANITY RING.
THE SHABBY SHEIK.
Crafted by Somers Isle & Loveshade.
Sun on the Rocks is genuine banana fiction, fresh, trivial,
tropical, easy to peel, and easy-going, like the fruit.
All fictional characters are adults at least twenty one years of age.
The Malibu Case.
Or whether corporate nudity should be part of the dress code.
The Acapulco Cocktail.
Or how a cocktail drink can turn a holiday into a traction with the Law.
The Cayman Air Banner.
Or going where your money goes to keep an eye on how it disappears.
The Bahamas Lotion.
Or whether the notion of a lotion is not beauty but dependence.
The Adult Channel.
Or how renting pleasure is different from owning it.
The OOL Broderie.
Or whether a wedding can be arranged as a matter of levity.
The Bellagio Wikileak.
Or how to rely on information before the information relies on you.
The Cuban Renegade.
Or whether gold can be backed by a renegade, when money is backed by the cap of Castro.
The Sugar Baby.
Or whether sugar can turn to salt when someone overlooks the honey.
The Marble Toucan.
Or how those who want you to leave your place are those who should leave in the first place.
The Outdoor Shower.
Or how a shower can bring good weather to the bottom line.
The Emotion Scale.
Or looking at how you feel to let others choose how you think.
Meridian 57.
Or how the merchant of longevity
can sell a claim to live longer by monetizing wisdom.
The Vanity Ring.
Or discerning when vanity is worn in order to meddle with the lives of others.
The Shabby Sheik.
Or whether a golden cage can bring both gold and freedom when properly used.
100 COMMENTS FROM READERS OF OPEN SALON AND OUR SALON,
ORIGINAL BLOGSITES OF SUN ON THE ROCKS BANANA HUMOR
(R and R+ stand for rated, or liked)
THE MALIBU CASE
ch.14 - Frisky, light-hearted, and delightful! Consistently! This should be a GRAPHIC novel (when you finally get around to publishing!) R+
ch.3 - This is so clever. Everything is "normal" except the central dilemma of (gasp) optional nudity. With nonchalant humor you are making an individual rights argument out of this. I can hear you pitching this to a TV exec: "Who could object to that?"
I think you could actually pull this off (no pun) in reality if the charac
ters were discretely / artfully filmed! It could be great fun. These are unique characters who are "over the horizon" in leading the California trend. R
ch.13 - Fun read. That package and who got it will bring me back. R
ch.12 - I want to see the video version of this story! What a romp.
ch.12 - Quite a revealing case. Quick and playful, this story scampers right up to the edge of decency and then sticks its tongue out.
ch.12 - This plot has the sexiest curves.
ch.1 - This is deceptively breezy and fun. I. did. not. expect. THIS! Good show! R
ch.15 - Hurray! The girls won and we are all the beneficiaries of their determination. I hope that we will have further adventures about the floating spa and that the long arm of the law can't reach them in inter national waters. R
ch.15 - Sorry I've been away and missed the last few installments. I'm glad to see the girls came out of this in stellar fashion. It was a fun read, and I'm looking forward to the south of the border installments. R
ch.15 - Sweet, sweet, sweet. And I think you may have set-up the next Episode in the series! Hmmm. I just noticed that others feel the same. Good! R+
ch.14 - Phew! The package picker-upper turns out to be on our side....at least for now. I guess it all comes down to the vote. Go naturism! R
ch.13 - If we Amuricans have a right to bear arms, the girls have a right to bare whatever! I vote yes. Fun read. That package and who got it will bring me back. R
ch.13 - Lots of limbs to go out on here. I'm always intrigued by the persistence of the press.
ch.12 - You just seem to strip the story to its bare essentials and cut to the chase ;).
ch.12 - Very amusing. Am I the only girl here? Is that weird?
ch.11 - It looks like the governor will have to get involved! A night under the stars, clothing optional I hope? R
ch.11 - I just wish I could have conceived this saga. So breezy and tongue-in-cheek! R+
ch.10 - You really make this sound reasonable and imminent! R+
ch.10 - If it were only that easy... hey, maybe it would be if someone only tried it! When writing, it's recommended to stick to the bare essentials. You can't get any bare than this subject. Still reading. R