With a grunt The Dark Stallion said, “fifteen Madison Avenue.”
“Was that so hard?” Super Lizard did not really understand the difference between helping and patronising.
“Right,” said the nurse, “I have placed you on the system. If you could take a seat then someone will be over in a minute to assess your injuries.”
“So be it,” replied The Dark Stallion, “but know this, I am against all your stand for and love.” Then, seeing a cup of tea on the desk he said, “oh, do I get a brew as well?”
“I thought you were against everything I stand for and love, and I love tea,” came the cutting reply from the nurse.
The Dark Stallion leaned from Super Lizard’s arms and stretch across the desk to where the tea stood. In one movement he flipped it over, spilling the contents and stared back at the nurse with a triumphant look on his face.
“Please take a seat before I have you escorted from this building,” the nurse retorted.
“I am sorry for him,” said Super Lizard, “he hasn’t had a good day.”
As he went to turn the nurse said, “actually, whilst you’re here.” She fluttered here eyelashes and produced some paper and a pen. “My son is a massive fan of yours, I wonder if you could give me your signature.”
“Certainly,” said Super Lizard dropping the boy in his arms.
“Ow,” came a noise from the floor.
“Oh, sorry.”
Super Lizard was mortified but the nurse simply said, “just leave him, someone will pick him up in a minute.”
~
Tanooki leaned on his fist, “bored, seriously why can’t we go in? We’ve been here for twenty minutes, we could just use our super hero influence to get in next.”
“That would not be right,” Super Lizard was taking up two seats, one for his body and the other his big boned tail, “there are cases that are more urgent than ours.”
“Yeah, well you don’t have to sit next to him,” the snoring vibrated in Tanooki’s ear. “Can’t I just wake him up? He is our enemy after all.”
“He had a fall and hurt himself, let him sleep off some of the pain.”
“Fall! He jumped.”
“Well it was nasty anyway.”
“He’s lucky I didn’t push him.”
“Chief Inspector Langley said no violence.”
“I know,” Tanooki whinged, “and I didn’t push him.”
Flashes were coming from outside, the crowd had not dispersed despite Super Lizard and Tanooki being help up in A&E for over twenty minutes. The flashes had stopped from the moment the automatic doors had shut behind the two heroes and the villain they carried. Now they had started up again, “what’s going on out there?” Tanooki asked.
“I don’t know.”
“You could just have a quick check through the wall.”
“I don’t have x-ray vision.”
“No, I mean blow a hole in it with your laser eyes.”
“No, that is not the right way to do things, we are not here to destroy public properly simply to aid our cause.”
“Try telling that to Batman or Spiderman.”
The duo mused for a minute before the automatic doors opened once again and a couple in their early forties stepped through and scanned the room. They clocked Super Lizard and Tanooki and rushed over.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, I’m really really sorry,” the woman said.
“I would ask what he has done this time but it’s splashed all over the papers,” the man added, giving The Dark Stallion a clip around the head.
The boy started, looked around groggily and then in one gasp said, “Mum, Dad…..oh no.”
Tanooki let out a little titter but managed to hold in the full laugh.
“We’re really disappointed in you, Martin,” said his Mum. The Dark Stallion look visibly upset but was holding it together, no one wants to see a super villain cry after all. Especially not in front of their parents. His Mum addressed Super Lizard and Tanooki, “thank you for looking after him, I really am very sorry for all the trouble he has put you through. If there is anything we can do for you then let us know.”
Tanooki stood up and said, “we need nothing, we do this for the common good,” quickly adding, “although a tenner for a taxi wouldn’t go a miss.”
The Mum fished around in her handbag before Super Lizard said, “he was only joking, we are just doing our duty.”
“I wasn’t,” whispered Tanooki in what he hoped was Super Lizard’s ear.
“We can take it from here,” said Dad, “you two get yourselves home.”
“Thank the Lord,” replied Tanooki, “that pirate bubble bath is calling.”
“But watch out,” the Dad said, “there are news crews out there, they kept asking questions and sticking microphones in our faces.”
“Oh great,” replied Tanooki but quickly lifted his mood, “until we meet again kind citizens.” The effect was slightly ruined as he tried to walk and salute at the same time and tripped over a chair. He quickly got up, smiled and made his exit.
Tanooki waited for Super Lizard before venturing through the automatic door. As the two heroes stepped through the flashing of cameras started, the questions were shouted out and what seemed like hundreds of microphones were forced into their faces. With one raise of his hand Tanooki silence the crowd. He paused and breathed in the atmosphere, he liked this super hero thing, finally he was getting the respect he deserved. “Today,” he started his rousing speech, “has been a day where justice has been served, where the forces of good have beaten back the veil of evil. We two heroes before you have saved you from impending doom. But do not fear, if such a threat rises again we will be back once more. For now, you can sleep easy in your beds.”
He was waiting for the abuse, for the jokes at his expense, for the silly questions. Instead he got a massive cheer. With that the smile took over his face and as the cameras flashed once more he walked forward, the crowd parted in front of him. Everyone who was close patted him on the back or at least tried to touch this almost mythical hero. When he exited the crowd he turned to give one last wave but was shocked by the scene that greeted him. Still in the centre of the crowd was Super Lizard, his eyes were slammed shut, his face screwed up tight (as tight as a lizard can screw their face up). The camera flashes were causing him to panic, he was trying not open those eyes lest he cut down the crowd with his laser vision. In sheer desperation he tried to get out. There was a loud bang as he clattered into people, like a row of dominos members of the crowd hit the ground. There was silence, the flashing stopped and Super Lizard opened his eyes. He gasped in disbelief. Half of the crowd were on the floor. As he stepped over each body he said a little, “sorry.”
Tanooki shook his head in disbelief, surely he didn’t need to say to sorry to every single one. Twenty minutes later they were on their way home.
~
The phone slammed down. Langley stared into the distance. A scowl came across his face.
‘Had he seen the news?’ they had asked. ‘What a brilliant master stroke,’ they had said. The two idiots were splashed across papers, they were on every news channel, being talked about on chat shows up and down the county. But the worst thing, the worst of all was that everybody seemed to love them. Some people had questioned the Police before but he was now being told that this was their finest hour. The problem was this, when asked who they reported to, Super Lizard and Tanooki had named Langley in person. Now the powers that be wanted a closer relationship, they wanted Super Lizard and Tanooki to be a key part of the Force. But it didn’t end there, the Police needed a spoke person, a Commissioner Gordon if you will. And who would that be? Chief Inspector Langley.
The gruff scream could be heard two streets away. He thought to himself whilst the telephone exited the office quickly, ‘on top of it all, I’m going to have to pay for that window.’
SUPER LIZARD AND TANOOKI WILL RETURN ALTHOUGH CHIEF INSPECTOR LANGLEY IS NOT TOO HAPPY ABOUT IT
/> About Chris Harvey
Chris Harvey is an ICT/Computing Teacher from Guernsey in the Channel Islands. He now lives in North Yorkshire with his wife, son and cat. There is little more to say than that. If you want to ask him a question or follow what he is doing then feel free to look at the links below…
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