I was about as exasperated as a person could get. This man refused to give me any straight answers, and it was driving me to the edge.
“You may huff and puff and be annoyed all you want, but it will not change the way of things. I am sorry I do not have a better answer for you, but in time, you will understand. Now, you must rest because you will need your strength.”
“I’m sick and tired of resting; I just want to understand what’s going on here. Can you not understand that?”
One minute, he was across the room, and the next he was by my side, grasping my arms. His movements were lightning fast, so much so that I had trouble comprehending what I had seen. It startled and frightened me. I wrenched my arms away from him.
He reached out for them, but instead, I balled my hands into fists and started hitting his chest. I wanted to scream at him and run away, but I was helpless in that regard. I kept throwing punches at him, and he sat there and allowed me to do it. Finally, he took both of my wrists in one of his hands and held them steady, forcing me to a halt. The sobs came then.
They took over my body, shattering my hold on my emotions. I cried my heart out for the unfairness of it all. I mumbled incoherent words through my tears. I shuddered at the force of my grief, and then, I felt myself becoming ill. He held me while I couldn’t stop myself from throwing up. He wiped my face with a cool cloth and whispered soothing words in my ear, attempting to ease my pain. I had ached inside for so long that the inevitable dam had ruptured, tearing me apart in the process.
I was humiliated by my ghastly outburst. If he was put off, he gave no indication. He calmly and serenely continued to hold and soothe me. My hair had become a massive tangle, so he ran his fingers through it, attempting to smooth it from my face. He was tucking an errant lock behind my ear, when I opened my eyes to gaze upon him.
He had treated me like a precious piece of porcelain, gently wiping my face and brow, while caressing my arms and back. No one had done this for me other than my parents.
This would become another defining moment in my life. I think I fell in love with him at that very instant. He never said a word, never tried to get me to stop grieving. He knew it was precisely what I needed, so he allowed himself to be my punching bag. I somehow knew he cared, and no one had cared about me in that manner in such a long time.
My tirade had exhausted me, but I forced myself to stay awake.
I cleared my throat, but my voice was raspy nevertheless. “Please forgive me for that outburst. I—”
“There is no need for words of apology,” he interrupted. “It is good for you to release this. You must not hold this back. Your experience with your abductor must be dealt with. You cannot bury this with you lest it will destroy you. Do not let this happen Maddie.”
“Um, I don’t quite know what to say. I’m embarrassed for being such a mess here.”
He tilted my chin up, so I faced him. “Do not feel as such. You have been a most brave female and have endured a great deal. I do not think less of you for this.”
He gathered me in his arms and held me securely.
Talasi entered the room with a cup in her hand. She handed it to me to drink, so I did as I was told. Within a few minutes, I felt my head swirling, and I figured that they had given me something to relax me and make me sleep. Who would blame them? I was positive they were tired of having a weeping mess on their hands.
Chapter 15
When I awoke, I was lying in Rayn’s arms. He must have held me throughout the night. I felt the burning flames of embarrassment return. I had never allowed my emotions to escape before, so I was most uncomfortable with him.
He arose from the bed and offered me something to drink. He then became very inquisitive and wanted to know everything about me. Because of my unstable emotional state, my feathers started getting ruffled. Had I been honest with myself, the reason I was uncomfortable was I couldn’t bear the fact that he had seen such vulnerability in me. It was something I never wanted anyone to see, much less him. For years I had painstakingly built a concrete fortress around myself, allowing no one to gain entrance. Cat had barely made it in, so there was no way I would allow Rayn in. I didn’t want him poking or prying into my psyche. Not to mention, it was like pulling teeth to get him to tell me anything, so why on earth would I want to share any secrets with him?
The nastiness in me decided to make an ugly appearance. What a short memory I had. I completely disregarded his kindness from such a short while ago.
“Why should I tell you anything? You won’t tell me a thing,” I retorted harshly.
“You should tell me because you are helpless to do otherwise,” he so matter-of-factly responded.
He was really starting to get under my skin. The audacity of this man. Of all the things to say, who did he think he was that he could boss me around like this?
I saw his brow lift. Maybe his super-duper telepathy thingy was picking up on my anger.
A bark of laughter escaped from him.
“I’m glad you find me so amusing,” I said bitterly.
“Amusing? Not exactly. Bold? Yes. You do realize that it would not be difficult for me to find out whatever it is I want to know about you? So, with that being said, why not be a nice little tot and tell me?”
“A ‘nice little tot?’” Of all the rotten things to say. Why, you’re a horse’s bohonkas!”
Another bark of laughter escaped from him, and he added, “This time? Definitely amusing! I know what a horse is, but please enlighten me regarding this…what did you call it? Oh, yes…a ‘bohonkas.’” The corners of his mouth were twitching with mirth.
“Why don’t you just use your super-duper telepathy thingy to figure it out; or set your pea brain in motion and use some deductive reasoning?”
“Pea brain?”
“Yes, pea brain, or maybe I should have said pigheadedness. Either one will suit,” I said with derision.
Talasi rushed in the room carrying one of her cups. She shoved it toward me to drink.
“Why is it every time I start digging for information, or refuse to answer your questions, Pocahontas here runs in to sedate me? Answer me that,” I was spitting nails and getting ready to chew them. He gave no response, but his eyes bore into mine.
“Let me tell you one thing, mister, if I could get out of this bed, you would be eating a knuckle sandwich right now!”
Next thing I knew, Mr. Hottie was bent over at the waist laughing hysterically. He was maddening!
“Go ahead and laugh. Get it out of your system. It’s obvious you were raised without any manners. You were probably a spoiled little brat with all the girls fawning over your good looks, hanging onto every one of your words. You probably never had to work hard for anything in your whole life, most likely had it all handed to you on a silver platter. Mommy and Daddy running around getting little Rayn anything his little ol’ heart desired. You were probably a bully too…to those of us not fortunate enough to have been born with the good looks with which you were so obviously endowed.”
I whipped my glance over to Talasi to see her standing there, mouth agape, utter horror displayed in her expression.
“Well, well, well. Isn’t this interesting? By the looks of little Pocahontas here, I can tell she isn’t used to hearing anyone speak to you like this. Am I right?” I had finally reached the end of my tirade.
“Talasi, leave us please,” Rayn quietly said, in a velvety voice laced with steel.
“Yes, my liege.” Talasi bowed to Rayn and scurried out of the room.
“And what’s up with this ‘my liege’ crap. Who are you anyway? King of the pirates? Are you trying to emulate Jack Sparrow? If so, you need an eye patch and a red bandanna to complete your ensemble.”
It was at that precise moment I knew without a doubt, I had severely overstepped my bounds. However, being the hardheaded idiot that I was, I refused to acknowledge it or apologize.
With only the the barest hint of movement, Rayn was at m
y side. He moved with incomprehensible speed, and I was barely able to track him. He bent toward me and grasped my arm in an ironclad hold. His fingers clamped down, and I had the impression he was fighting for control. He was seething with violent energy; I could feel it saturating the air. I knew with certainty it would take very little for him to snap my bones in half. His emerald eyes were now glinting, and I could all but see the sparks in them. I was, for the first time in his presence, fearful of what he might do to me.
“Ms. Pearce,” he said, with barely controlled menace, “you forget yourself, where you are at this moment, and who controls your reins. You are the most insolent, sullen, manner-less, spoiled child I have ever met. I will not justify myself by explaining things to you. You can figure it out yourself by using your own…what did you call it? Oh yes, ‘pea brain.’ But let me be perfectly clear, Ms. Pearce.” He stopped for a moment and I could tell he was fighting for control. He continued on, his voice laced with steel, through tightly clenched teeth, “You are a guest among my people. They have saved your life and done an admirable job at that. But for the life of me, I cannot figure out why they did it in the first place. It is not an option for you to treat them with respect; it is mandatory! You can throw your little tantrums at me any time you please, but never, and I repeat, never, will I allow you to speak to Talasi or anyone else here like that again. Do you understand?”
I was terribly frightened by him, but also by my own shamefully appalling behavior. I had never acted so rudely before, and I didn’t understand why I had done so. My mouth had become a pile of sawdust that I could barely swallow, let alone speak. I gaped, giving him the slightest of nods.
“Excellent! I am glad you understand. Now, then, I asked you some questions about yourself, and I command you to answer me.”
Rayn applied even more pressure to my arm, but when the pain became nearly unbearable, he eased up.
With burning determination, I refused to show him my fear, so I returned his hardened gaze with defiance. I would stand up to him and not back down, but I could not understand why he brought this reprehensible behavior out in me. However, as I gazed into his eyes, my heart softened. I never acted like this around anyone.
I had every intention of refusing him again, except I found it was…impossible.
The words erupted from my mouth like a geyser. I started from the beginning. I told him about my mom and how close we were and “the accident.” I told him intricate details about that horrific day. I felt hot tears scalding my cheeks but was helpless to stop them. I told him of the day my father died and how I was called to the principal’s office. It seemed I was destined to bare my soul to this man. I tried to stop talking and found that it was impossible. I recalled for him the day I moved into college and how Cat was everything to me and that I loved her like a sister. I went to great depths and recounted exactly what happened to me on the trail. I detailed every nuance of emotion from abject fear to apathy. I described how I felt when I saw my mom, how I wanted to wrap myself around her and cling to her forever. I relayed my life story—all the while the tears flowed effusively. I was unmistakably not in control of myself; something was compelling me to speak.
When I got to the part about my mother being the most beautiful and kind person I had ever known, he suddenly said, “I release you.”
The obdurate urge to speak immediately fled. I felt odd, much like I’d been unchained.
Then, he flabbergasted me by saying softly, “You must surely favor your mother,” as he picked up a lock of my hair and rubbed it between his thumb and forefinger contemplating it.
Are you kidding me? Was this a joke? He looked so serious when he said that. Then, I started to laugh. I again wondered if I was becoming mentally unbalanced. Maybe my life’s experiences had finally overpowered me.
“What has amused you so?” he queried.
“I’m laughing for two reasons: because I am the polar opposite of my mother and because you were nice about it,” I replied, suddenly thinking I shouldn’t have said that.
“Maddie, I usually am nice. I only get demanding when the situation makes it so. Explain about your mother.”
Demanding again.
“If you saw her, you would know what I mean.”
“Explain.”
Still demanding.
“Everything…looks, likes, and dislikes, hobbies need I say more?”
“Elucidate.”
Seriously demanding.
I randomly asked, “Are you always used to getting your way?”
He cocked his head and his eyes flashed. “You have no idea, but I must ask you why you would want to know that?”
“You are extremely persistent and dictatorial, and it’s your way with words. You sound like a boss or something, overbearing even. And while we’re on the subject, you have a strange way of saying things sometime. Like, your use of the English language is very proper and formal. The way you speak is almost obsolete. Like you don’t use contractions or anything. Yes, that’s exactly what it is. Are you foreign or something?”
“In a manner of speaking.”
“Hmm. Evasive again.”
“And you are very perceptive. But, getting back to our previous discussion, before you digressed, please tell me why you believe you are so different from your mother.”
Whoa! Politely demanding.
“Well, first off, I am quite ordinary, average in every way—height, build, hair color, you know. And then there are the activities. I love the outdoors, and she hated everything about it, especially bugs! I used to laugh at her for that! Every day, it didn’t matter when, she looked like she stepped out of the pages of a fashion magazine. She was absolutely extraordinary in every possible way. She was tall with beautiful blonde hair and eyes so blue you couldn’t stop staring at them. She would take my breath away she was so beautiful. When I was little I couldn’t stop touching her. She was that kind of pretty. I would tell her I wanted a doll that looked exactly like her. I am nothing like her at all.”
The disbelieving look on his face surprised me. He turned to me and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. He opened his mouth, and then shut it, several times, as though he were mentally debating whether he should say something or not.
He finally decided to speak. Quietly, he said, “I wholeheartedly disagree. Your eyes may not be blue, but they are the color of molten gold. They are mesmerizing. They are the windows to your soul, and one can look into them and see your spirit reflected. And your hair. It is an extraordinary shade of copper that all but begs my hands to run through it. It reminds me of the sun’s rays as it drops to meet the horizon. I can barely keep myself from touching it. You are nothing short of exquisite, Maddie.” He had picked up a lock of my hair and brought it to his cheek, holding it there.
I was hypnotized by the sound of his deep voice as if it caressed me. He took the backs of his knuckles and brushed them across my cheek and said, “Your face is perfection, and, Maddie, you are quite magnificent in every way.”
He continued to speak with his eyes locked onto mine, picking up my hands and entwining our fingers together, “Your hands are beautiful—artistically elegant—and your mind is incredible, sweet, one moment, and provokingly on fire, the next. I happen to think you are exceptional. You are unquestionably a very brave female.”
Shut the front door! Who is this man and whom is he describing? And what happened to Mr. Demanding?
I never imagined anyone would see me as he did, and it astounded me. There must be something terribly wrong with his eyesight. Was he just trying to make me feel good or did he really mean it? And what was that bit he said at the end? In that strange language?
“I can see that you doubt what I say. You merely see yourself very differently than others see you. But, Maddie, make no mistake, I meant every word. You are beautiful—stunning, in fact.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I just looked at him, dumbfounded, my mouth forming an O. I got lost in his eyes. He gazed
back at me and reached out and ran his fingers through my hair. He picked up a section of it again and rubbed it between his thumb and fingers. Then he leaned his face into it, and I could hear him inhaling deeply. I dared not move. I didn’t want to break the spell.
When he raised his head, he looked directly into my eyes. My desire to touch him could no longer be denied. I extended my hand and put it on his face, running the pad of my thumb across his lips. I ran my other hand through his hair, mimicking what he did to me. I pulled his head toward mine in order to inhale his essence. It was sheer heaven. Then, his arms went around me. He leaned in and briefly touched his lips to mine. I felt a spark ignite that startled me. He felt it too for we both jerked away from each other. His eyes bore into mine, and I could see the shock in them. He hadn’t expected that either. Neither of us said a word as we leaned in toward each other again. The second kiss was equally as brief and yet both of us felt the heat.
I wanted to ask him about it, but still, I did not want to ruin this our moment, this truce that had erupted between us.
He situated himself next to me, and I laid my head on his chest—his very warm and comforting chest, where I picked up his braid and wrapped it around my fingers, toying with it. It was soft and silky, and I could feel his heart beating beneath my hand. I was comforted by the feel of him.
We talked about everything—everything but him. He was still reluctant to answer many of my questions, and during the ones he did answer, he was always evasive. I got used to hearing, “kind of like that” or “not exactly.” It was all so mysterious to me. He begged me to be patient and promised I wouldn’t have to wait much longer. Why couldn’t he just tell me now?
Little did I know that when I would have the answers I wanted, they would forever change my life.
In the morning, we both ate breakfast. He left me for a bit, and when he returned, he said that it was time for him to leave. I was completely jarred. He told me we wouldn’t be seeing each other again—something about our worlds being too far apart. He didn’t say much else, but I felt his eyes, boring deeply into my soul, like he was searching for something, answers maybe.