Read Sweet Nothings Page 19


  He took a step toward her, wanting nothing more than to gather her up in his arms.

  “Don’t!” she said.

  “Don’t what?”

  “Just don’t,” she said again. “I know you feel badly, and it’s very sweet of you to want to make me feel better. But that will only make it worse.”

  “What?”

  She made a low sound of frustration and squeezed her eyes closed. “What’s your game, Jake? Whatever it is, I don’t want to play.”

  “I’m not playing a game, Molly. Why would you even think that I am?”

  She fixed him with an accusing glare. “Because this doesn’t make an iota of sense, that’s why. We’re both mature adults. Can’t we simply move past this and forget it happened?”

  “But it did happen.”

  “Yes, unfortunately.” She sighed and tipped her head back to stare at the sky. “You know what I think the problem is? You’re too nice for your own good, and mine as well.”

  “Thank you for that much, at least.”

  She laughed softly, the sound totally lacking in humor and laced with bitterness. “Misguided, but nice.”

  “Ouch.”

  She sighed and met his gaze. “I’m sorry, but it’s true. You shouldn’t go around kissing women to make them feel good. It’s dangerous.”

  “Ah, I see. I should kiss women to make them feel bad?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be deliberately obtuse.”

  “Ouch, again.” Jake bent his head and rubbed his jaw. “Molly, I think we need to back up and clarify why I kissed you to start with.”

  “What’s to clarify? You paid me a compliment, I didn’t believe you, and in some misguided desire to make me feel pretty, you kissed me to drive home the point. Unfortunately for you—and for me—it backfired. You found yourself being attacked by a horny divorcee, you didn’t want to hurt my feelings by pulling away, and things got out of hand.” She sighed and drew an arm from around her waist to push at a tendril of hair that had escaped her braid. “Thank God I came to my senses.”

  Jake was beginning to wish now that she hadn’t. They might have avoided this if only she had let passion run its course. She wouldn’t be hunching her shoulders to hide those gorgeous breasts right now, that was for damned sure.

  “For the record,” she went on, “I don’t blame you for any of it. I know men are easily aroused, especially if they’ve been working hard like you have for months on end and neglecting their physical needs. I was all over you. There was friction between our bodies. You couldn’t control your physical response to that, and it went downhill from there. It was just—” She broke off and shrugged. “It was an unfortunate mess, is what it was. I’m very sorry it happened, and now I just want to forget that it did.”

  “So you have it all figured out, do you?”

  She avoided looking at him. “Mostly. Your following me out here is a little baffling. I’m afraid you’ve got some harebrained notion that you can kiss me again and make it all better. Not a good plan.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because you’re—” She sighed and waved a hand as if to erase the bad start. “Never mind.”

  “Because I’m what?” he pressed. “I hate half-finished sentences.”

  “Too attractive,” she muttered.

  “Pardon?”

  “You heard me.”

  “You find me attractive, Molly?”

  She narrowed her eyes. “No, I think you’re a real dog. What exactly do you think this morning was about? Do you think I react like that to every man who kisses me?”

  Jake folded his arms to keep from touching her. “I hope to God not. I’m the possessive type.”

  She rolled her eyes again. Then she turned and struck off, calling, “I’m going home now, end of discussion.”

  Jake set off after her. As he drew abreast, he said, “I’ve let you have your say. It’s only fair that you let me have mine.”

  “Talk fast. When I reach my door, I’m going inside, and you’re not invited.”

  Jake reached out to grasp her arm and slow her pace. “First of all, I don’t kiss women to be nice. I never have, I never will, and I didn’t today. I kissed you because I’ve been wanting to ever since I first met you.”

  “Oh, brother.“

  “I didn’t interrupt you with sarcastic asides. Don’t interrupt me.” He drew her to a stop and turned to study her pinched face. “Secondly, I resent the implication that I am so easily aroused and so sexually deprived that any warm body will do.”

  She threw him a startled look. “I never meant it like that.”

  “It’s a damned good thing because I don’t sleep with just anyone.”

  “Oh.”

  “Contrary to the belief of some, not all men’s decisions are made for them by what’s behind their fly. Good Christ.” He hooked a thumb toward the woods. “I don’t know what the hell happened out there. Spontaneous combustion might best describe it. I only meant to kiss you, and the first thing I knew, I had you up against a tree.”

  “Don’t remind me.”

  “How do you think that makes me feel? I generally try to treat women with respect. I’ve only known you for a little over a week, and there I was, going for it. And in broad daylight, no less.”

  “Must you give me a blow-by-blow replay? It wasn’t one of my finer moments, either.”

  He ignored that. “I have nothing against nature and day-light. Don’t get me wrong. But we were no more than a stone’s throw from the house.”

  She cupped a hand over her eyes. “Oh, God.“

  “Anybody could have come along, and there we would have been.”

  She groaned again.

  “I totally lost it.”

  “Me, too,” she said faintly. “I’m so sorry. It was my fault.”

  “Your fault?” He nudged her hand from her eyes, caught her by the shoulders, and leaned down to put his face before hers. “It wasn’t anybody’s fault, Molly. It just happened. You’re a beautiful lady, and you’re one sweet armful. I’ve never been hit so hard and so fast by a kiss in my life.”

  “There you go again.”

  “There I go with what again?”

  “Saying I’m pretty. You really need to stop doing that.”

  “Why? You afraid you may start believing me? Why not? You believed Rodney.”

  “Let’s leave Rodney out of this.”

  “We can’t leave him out of this. It’s his lies that are causing us problems right now.” She started to speak, and Jake laid a finger across her mouth to silence her. “Molly, do you trust me?”

  She wrinkled her nose.

  “Forget about what happened this morning,” he urged. “Before then, did you trust me?”

  “I’m here, aren’t I?” she said against his fingertip. “If I didn’t trust you, I’d be long gone.”

  “Good. Then will you give me fifteen minutes?”

  She blinked and peered up at him owlishly. “To do what?”

  “I want to introduce you to someone.”

  “To whom?”

  “It’s a surprise. Will you give me the fifteen minutes?”

  “I suppose,” she said hesitantly. “But only if you promise to behave yourself.”

  Jake turned her toward the cabin, taking a firm grasp on her arm to draw her along. Flashlight beam bobbing in front of her, she cast him a bewildered look. “I thought you were going to introduce me to someone.”

  “I am.”

  They reached the porch, and Jake hustled her up the steps as fast as her shorter legs would allow. He shouldered open the door, reached inside to flip on the lamp, and nudged her into the cabin ahead of him. After closing the door, he glanced at his watch and then shoved it under her nose so she could see the time.

  “Fifteen minutes,” he repeated, “and your complete trust. I promise you won’t regret this.”

  “I’m already regretting it,” she said when he grabbed her arm again to guide her toward the
bathroom. “What are you doing? There’s no one in there for me to meet.”

  He pushed her ahead of him into the dark enclosure. “There is now.” He flipped on the overhead light. Blinded by the brightness, she narrowed her eyes to see. Before her vision completely cleared, he had her standing before the mirror and was unfastening her braid. When she reached to stop him, he stiffened his arms against her and said, “Trust. Remember?” After loosening her plaited tresses, he said, “Stand right there. Don’t move.”

  “You’re making me very nervous.”

  Jake jerked open the door of the small linen closet. Inside were towels that he’d left at the cabin for guests. He bypassed all those at the top to tug a pink one from the bottom of the stack. Next he fished through the toiletries lying on the shelf above, locating a brush with strands of whiskey-colored hair caught in the stiff bristles.

  As he stepped up behind her, he smiled at her in the mirror. “I don’t mean to make you nervous. Just bear with me a second. All right?”

  Setting the towel on the edge of the sink, he dispensed with the flashlight, then drew off her parka and tossed it aside. That accomplished, he began brushing her hair. It felt like silk as it ran through his fingers, the curls clinging to his hands, exhibiting far more friendliness than their owner ever had. He caught her bewildered expression in the glass.

  “There’s a method to my madness.”

  Her eyes darkened as she stared at her reflection. “I can’t do this,” she said shakily. “I really can’t do this.”

  Jake heard the note of panic in her voice. He sharpened his gaze on her face, which had drained of color. Perspiration glistened on her forehead.

  Then he looked into her eyes. Never in his life had he seen anyone who looked so hopelessly lost. His hands stilled. Where his wrists rested against her shoulders, he felt the shallow, rapid pace of her breathing. “Molly?” he whispered. He glanced down and saw that she was gripping the edge of the sink with such force that her knuckles had gone white. “Sweetheart? What’s wrong?”

  He felt a shudder move through her body. Her frightened gaze sought his in the mirror. “I can’t do this. I know it’s stupid, but—” She broke off and squeezed her eyes closed. “I just can’t, is all.”

  Jake set the brush aside and gripped her firmly by the shoulders. “What’s stupid?”

  “Nothing,” she said faintly.

  “Molly, tell me,” he urged.

  “You’ll think I’m crazy.”

  He ran his thumbs in a circular massage over the knotted muscles in her shoulders. “No, I won’t. I swear. Tell me.”

  “It’s just—” Her face twisted, and she dragged in a shaky breath. “When I look in the mirror, I can’t find myself anymore. The person in the glass—she’s someone I don’t know.”

  Jake rested his cheek atop her head. Pain twisted through his chest, hurting so much it almost took his breath. “Is that all?” He forced himself to chuckle. “Honey, we all feel that way sometimes. It’s natural.”

  “This is different,” she insisted. “I’m empty inside. The person I used to be isn’t there anymore.”

  Jake sighed and slipped his arms around her waist. The fact that she didn’t try to pull away told him how very upset she was. “That isn’t so,” he assured her. “You’re in there, honey. Trust me on that. You’re just feeling lost and confused right now.” He studied her pale reflection, smiling slightly as he took in each lovely angle of her face. In that moment, he realized that every feature had been indelibly engraved on his heart. “I see who you are all the time, in countless little ways, and so does everyone else. You’ve got the kindest heart of anyone I know. If you don’t believe me, just ask Bart. He’s never had it so good. Or get Sunset’s opinion. He can tell you a few things about yourself, namely that you’ve got more courage in your little finger than most people do in their entire body.”

  Her lashes lifted, and she fixed him with a question-filled gaze. “I’m not courageous.”

  “You rescued that stallion and broke the law to do it. Trust me, honey, that’s courageous.”

  “I had no choice. Sunset could have ended up dead.”

  “A lot of people wouldn’t have cared, not so much they would have been willing to put their bacon on the plate. No matter how you circle it, that took guts.”

  Faint touches of color rose to her cheeks. Jake smiled at her in the glass. Bending down to put his face beside hers, he whispered, “All your fine inner qualities aside, I’d like you to see the Molly I do. I don’t think you’ve really looked at her before. Or it’s been a very long time since you did.” He caught her chin on the crook of his finger and lifted her face to the light. “Feature by feature, I want you to really look, Molly. Forget everything anyone else ever said to you and really look.”

  Her gaze shifted to her own face.

  “You have the most beautiful hair I’ve ever seen.” He lifted a mass of curls on his palm and turned them to catch the light. “Just look at how they shimmer. Have you ever held a glass of Scotch up to a flame? Your hair is like that—the color of whiskey shot through with firelight.” He kept turning his wrist until she joined him in staring at the play of light on her hair. “That is beautiful, Molly. Don’t you agree?”

  Her throat worked as she swallowed. “The way you’re moving it in the light makes it look pretty,” she conceded.

  “This is nothing compared to how it catches the light when you wear it loose and you move your head. It’s like looking at swirls of liquid fire.”

  He let her hair slip from his palm and resumed studying her face. “Now your eyes,” he said with a grin. “Just look at those eyes.”

  She did as he suggested.

  “They’re almost exactly the color of your hair, and they sparkle so pretty. From the moment we met, they captivated me. That was the first thing I noticed about you, your beautiful eyes.”

  Those eyes filled with bewilderment now. “You noticed my eyes?”

  “I definitely noticed. Even with no liner or shadow to make them stand out, they’re heart grabbers.”

  A flush touched her cheeks. “This is silly.”

  Jake glanced at his watch. “I’ve got ten minutes left to be silly.” He turned her face slightly. “Now the nose.” He couldn’t help but smile when he looked at it. “It’s small and perfectly straight, except for right at the tip where it turns up just slightly. How could anyone find fault with a nose like that? Mine is twice that large and crooked to boot.”

  “It isn’t crooked.”

  He grinned and narrowed an eye at her. “We’ll argue that point later. For now, we’ll move on from that perfect nose to those sculpted cheekbones.” He ran a finger along the hollow of her cheek. “I’ve heard that movie stars get their back molars yanked out to achieve that look.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  “Would I lie to you?” He ran his thumb over her bottom lip. “And look at that mouth, would you? Not a trace of lipstick, and it’s such a pretty pink. That second night after I met you, I wanted to steal a kiss so damned bad I ached.”

  “You did?”

  He chuckled. “I’m damned glad now that I didn’t. I got myself in enough trouble this morning.”

  She bent her head, her dark lashes feathering over her cheeks like spider etchings. “It’s not just my face, Jake. It’s the rest of me.”

  “I’m getting to that.”

  She threw him an appalled look. “Oh, no, you’re not.”

  He winked at her. “No bare body parts, I swear. I just want to show you something.”

  “What?”

  He reached around her to unbutton her blouse. She grabbed his wrists. “You said no bare parts.”

  “And I’m a man of my word. Relax.” He unfastened the second button, then a third and fourth. “I just want to tuck your collar under and open the front.”

  “That’s baring parts.”

  “Then I see bare parts downtown all the time,” he challenged. “Women wear t
ops cut this low every day.”

  “They aren’t me.”

  “No, but they probably wish they were.” He directed a pointed glance at the bountiful display of cleavage above the V of her blouse. “Your breasts are beautiful, Molly.”

  “They’re big and floppy,” she informed him in a faint voice.

  “Flop them my way and see what happens.” He draped the towel over her chest to form a scoop neckline. “There,” he whispered. “Get a load of that.”

  She looked up and went still. Jake smiled. “Where’s the clash?” he asked. “Pink is your color, lady. Just look at how it makes your skin glow.” He trailed a fingertip along the edge of the towel, acutely aware of the way she shivered at his touch. “If that isn’t flawless, nothing is,” he said huskily. “And the pink strikes a perfect contrast—putting me in mind of raspberries and cream.”

  He drew away the towel and let it drop into the sink. Then he settled his hands at her waist. Smiling at her over the top of her curly head, he said, “Molly, meet Molly, one of the prettiest ladies I’ve ever clapped eyes on.”

  Another flush crept up her neck to pool in her cheeks. Jake met her gaze in the mirror. “There isn’t an unmarried man in my acquaintance who could have resisted kissing you this morning. I guess maybe I should apologize for letting it get out of hand, but I’m not going to. I’ll do it again if I get half a chance, so consider yourself warned.”

  She lowered her gaze to stare at the faucet.

  Jake checked his watch. “I’ve got seven minutes left. Since I asked you to trust me, I’ll behave myself, and I won’t kiss you again tonight. I am going to take liberty with words, though, and tell you a couple of things that are probably going to embarrass you and make you hate me just a little. But they’re things you need to hear, so I’ll take my chances.”

  He braced his hands on the edge of the vanity and leaned down to smell her hair. The scent of shampoo and soap and Molly filled his head, making him feel a little dizzy.

  “You have gorgeous breasts.” He felt her stiffen. “I’ll say that again. You have gorgeous, perfect breasts.”