She wouldn’t say it only because she didn’t want to sound hateful. But if it hadn’t been for her need to make sure he knew, she would’ve gladly let him leave without so much as a wave.
“You can’t tell me you didn’t feel anything, Sof.”
“What I felt was a guy trying to seduce me, Brandon. A guy who knew I was in a relationship and who was leaving in a couple of weeks.” She could feel herself getting heated, but she wasn’t sure who she was more annoyed with, Brandon or herself for even having to have this conversation. “Eric has loved me since we were kids. It’s never been like that with him. Obviously, all you wanted was casual sex, an entirely foreign concept to me. It took me by surprise.”
“That’s not all I wanted.” The smug smile was wiped away and he suddenly sounded defensive.
Sofia shook her head. “It doesn’t matter, Brandon. I just wanted to make sure you knew. I don’t want to, and I’m sorry if that’s the impression I gave you.”
“Don’t apologize, Sof. I just hope this didn’t ruin things between us.” His expression softened. “Next time I come back, can we start off fresh? Forget this ever happened?”
Sofia nodded, but didn’t dare take a step near him. Instead, she waved. “Bye, Brandon. Take care.”
He smiled and waved back. Sofia walked away feeling a little better, but the guilt still outweighed any relief she’d gained from that conversation.
***
Eric stared at his laptop. Not bad. After Sofia’s outburst about Asia, he hadn’t gone back to the café where Asia worked—not until yesterday. He felt a little bad that he’d promised Asia he would put together a professional-looking online portfolio for her acting career. She told him about the horrible one she’d done on her own, contributing the lack of work she’d gotten lately to how sorry it looked. Eric could put a portfolio together with his eyes closed. All he needed was all her info and pictures.
He hadn’t seen her since promising Sofia he wong width="48uldn’t. Deciding it wasn’t a big deal, he’d gone in one last time yesterday. He told her he probably wouldn’t be back, making up something about his schedule changing, but he could still do it for her and email it. She’d emailed him all her info last night, and already he was almost done. He was impressed with the amount of theatre work she had done so far.
Since Sofia told him she was going to run this morning, he didn’t call her when he got home. He would finish up on Asia’s portfolio, then give Sofia a call. It was still early. This time he wasn’t taking any chances. He wanted to talk to her first thing today and tell her about it. He really hoped she wouldn’t make a big deal of it, especially since he had no intentions of ever seeing Asia again. He’d email her when he was done and that would be the end of it.
He probably could’ve finished last night, but as usual, he was being a perfectionist and obsessing over the site. There was a knock at the door. Eric left the laptop on the counter top and walked over to open the door.
“You’re home?” Sofia smiled big.
Eric pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. “Yeah, I was gonna call you, but I figured you were running.”
“I was, and I saw your car in the driveway.” She kissed him then leaned her head against his chest. “God, I love having you home.”
They walked back into his house, closing the door behind.
“You hungry?”
“Yes, I’m starving.”
“Cool, let’s go get some breakfast. I have something I wanna talk to you about.” He leaned in and kissed her, noticing the concern in her face. “Relax, it’s nothing bad. Just let me grab my shoes from my room.”
He dug in his closet for his shoes. After a few minutes of digging, he remembered they were under his bed. When he walked back out of his room, Sofia was standing in front of his laptop, staring at the screen. She looked up. Her eyes were more questioning than angry. “She sent you all these pictures of herself?”
“Yes, because I offered to help with her portfolio. It’s what I was going to talk to you about, babe.”
She stared at him without saying anything.
He walked up to her and cupped her cheek with his hand, glad that she let him. “I hadn’t gone back to the coffee shop since the day we discussed it.” Eric did his best to explain it and hoped with all his might there wouldn’t be another blow up.
There was an abundance of him kissing her and caressing her face as he spilled it all. Every detail—he wasn’t keeping a thing from her. She didn’t say anything the entire time he explained, and Eric was sure that was a bad sign. He braced himself when he was done and waited.
“After this, you won’t have to see her or talk to her for any reason, right?”
Eric smiled, relieved. “Right.”
Her reaction to it all had been a pleasant surprise, but after breakfast, he was having second thoughts. She’d been uncharacteristically quiet the entire time they ate. He hated to bring it up again, but she was acting so weird, he had to. Once in the car, he glancedar,een at her before he turned it on. “Are you sure you’re okay with me doing this for Asia? Because I promise you after this I won’t be in contact with her at all.”
Sofia snapped out of the same daze she’d been in all through breakfast. “No.” A weak smile spread over her face. “I’m fine with it.”
“Then what is it?”
She shook her head and stared out the window. “Nothing.”
Damn it. He should’ve gone with his gut and just stayed away from Asia all together. He hated for Sofia to have any doubts. Being away from her all summer was hard enough.
They drove back to her house. She wanted to shower and change before they did anything else. He went back to his house, finished up the portfolio and sent it off, feeling a relieved to be done with it. That was the last time he’d ever bring Asia up again.
A few minutes after he was done, he got a text from Sofia.
Almost done. Come over. I made empanadas last night. You can have some while I finish getting ready.
Eric smiled and grabbed his keys. He loved everything Sofia cooked for him, but her empanadas were one of his favorites. He never even had any until she made some for him some years ago.
He knocked once before walking in her house. The only car in the driveway was hers. She was on her way down the stairs when he walked in.
“Hey.” She hadn’t snapped out of that mood, barely smiling as she walked down the stairs.
She hugged him when he reached her. Eric wasn’t sure but she looked ready to cry. “Sofie, what’s wrong?”
She pulled away from him. With one hand over her face, she barely got the words out. “You’re going to hate me.”
Eric stood still. He had no idea what she could mean. He reached his hand out to her. “C’mere. Don’t be silly. I could never hate you.”
She pulled away and crossed her arms in front of her. The tears in her eyes unnerved him.
“What’s wrong? Tell me.”
She walked around the sofa and sat down. “Eric, I did something so wrong. I wasn’t going to tell you, but I just can’t take the guilt anymore. I have to.”
Like a drum, he felt his heart jump start. Guilt? So wrong? His stomach tensed. He almost didn’t want to know. He took a cautious seat on the sofa across from her. He gulped, staring at her big, anxious eyes. “All right, tell me.”
“When I ran with Brandon last week, he asked me to come over his place. He wanted to show me some of his Marine things.” Eric’s eyes went from hers to her hands. She kept intertwining them together, unnerving him that much more. “He showed me pictures and metals and stuff. Then we went into his bedroom…”
Eric stood up. Something pierced into his chest. “What did you do?”
Tears rolled down her cheeks. “He just wanted to show me a gun his dad got for—”
“What did you do, Sofia?” He wasn’t sure if anyone was homanyto e and he didn’t care. He raised his voice, feeling on the verge of losing it. “What the fuck did you
do in his bedroom that has you crying?”
She stood up. “Not that!”
“Then what?” Visions of her and Brandon assaulted him. He felt sick to his stomach.
“He kissed me,” she whispered, staring at her hands, “and I let him.”
Eric stared at her for a moment, unable to breathe. He gulped hard, unbelievably feeling his own tears coming. “Was that the day you called me and said you missed me?”
She glanced up at him, her expression torn. Another tear made its way down her face, and she nodded. He’d known something was wrong even then, but he never would’ve imagined this. She took a step forward. “I’m sorry… it was a huge mistake.”
He stepped back, afraid of what he might do if she touched him. There was no way he could be in the same room with her right now. The hurt he felt was so intense, the blood pounding through his body was deafening. She willingly went into Brandon’s bedroom and let him kiss her. What else had they done?
Eric spun around before his tears could betray him.
“Eric, I love you!” she cried.
He waved his hand back at her and rushed to the door. Never in his life had he felt what he was feeling at that moment. He hadn’t cried openly since he was a child and he’d forgotten how hard it was to hold it in.
Remembering how he and his friends had referred to guys on television as pussies for crying over girls, he held it in, but only until he was in his car. The pain of Sofia’s betrayal nearly suffocated him as he drove home. He’d never look at his beautiful Sofia the same way again.
&n wiign="CENbsp;
CHAPTER 13
Why?
After sobbing uncontrollably for hours, and trying unsuccessfully to get a hold of Eric, Sofia knocked out on the sofa. She woke when she heard the front door close.
To her surprise, Sal stood at the door with a regretful expression on his face. “Sorry, Sof. I was trying to be quiet.”
She sat up, a bit dazed. “What time is it?”
“Almost noon.” He dropped his gym bag on the floor. “What’s wrong with you? Are you sick?”
She shook her head, feeling the air constrict in her lungs the moment the memory of that morning came back to her. In an instant, she felt like falling apart again, and she buried her face in her hands.
“Hey.” Sal was by her side immediately. “What’s going on?” He looked around anxiously. “Where’s everyone? Did something happen?”
“No.” She sniffed. “Everyone is okay. Mom and Dad are shopping in T.J. Alex and Angel are at the restaurant.”
He put his hand on her knee. “So what’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“I think me and Eric broke up.” Saying it out loud made it feel real. Something she didn’t want to accept earlier. She leaned against Sal and cried. “And it’s all my fault.”
Sal rubbed her back. Of all her brothers, Sal was the only one to whom she would even consider telling the truth. Though he’d always been just as protective, he’d also been the level-headed one. Often having to jump in to calm Alex down, like the time Alex caught her and Eric kissing that horrible New Year’s Eve.
Sal hadn’t been home from school in weeks, so he didn’t even know Brandon had been back. She told him about Brandon being back in town then she said the dreadful words once again. “He kissed me, Sal, and I let him.”
Sal’s expression had gone stern the moment she mentioned Brandon asking her to come over to his house. “And Eric found out?”
“I told him. I couldn’t stand it anymore. The guilt was eating me alive.” She grabbed the box of tissues she’d almost gone through that morning, dabbing her eyes as she continued. “He’s always been so honest with me about everything. It just didn’t feel right to keep something like that from him.” She took a deep breath, holding back another wave of sobs. “He was so upsem, herthit. I don’t know what’s gonna happen.”
Unable to hold it together anymore, she collapsed against Sal’s chest, sobbing. Sal ran his hands up and down her back. “Sofie, if it was just a kiss, he’ll get over it. I’m sure he’s mad as hell now, but trust me, I don’t think Eric can walk away from you just like that.”
Sofia pulled away and looked up at her brother. “You didn’t hear him, Sal.”
Sal’s brows furrowed. “What did he say?”
“He was just so angry—so hurt.”
“Well, that’s to be expected, Sof. You dropped a major bomb on him. Not only did you kiss someone else, but Brandon, of all people.” He shook his head. “Is that asshole still in town?”
Sofia shook her head quickly. She knew better than to tell Eric while Brandon was still there, or even Sal, for that matter. “He left this morning.”
“He’s lucky.” Sal frowned. “Listen, you’ll no doubt be hearing this from Eric, but I’m going to say it anyway. I don’t give a shit how much Brandon’s changed on the outside, obviously he hasn’t on the inside. Taking you back to his house alone, and kissing you, knowing you were with Eric, says it all. The guy can’t be trusted and he’ll be back again eventually. I don’t want you anywhere near him.”
“I know,” Sofia sniffled, “but he really has changed, Sal.”
Sal shook his head adamantly. “Don’t you see, Sofie? He just pulled one over all of us.” He stood up suddenly. “You have any idea what Alex and Angel will have to say about Brandon taking you into his bedroom?”
The way Sal put it, it sounded so different than how it had happened. “It wasn’t like that.”
Sal gave her that look Sofia hated so much. That ‘you’re being naïve again’ look. She frowned. “If I had said no, he wouldn’t have done it, but I didn’t.”
Sal’s expression went even more severe. “Is that what he told you?”
“He told me before he kissed me, to tell him to stop and he would.” Sofia was drowning in guilt again.
“That’s bullshit, Sof. He shouldn’t have had you there in the first place. Should’ve never put you in that predicament to begin with.”
Sofia thought of some of the other things Brandon had said to her, and knew even Sal would fly off the handle if she told him. After making Sal promise he wouldn’t say anything to Alex and Angel, she drove by Eric’s house. His car wasn’t in the driveway and she wondered if he’d gone back to Los Angeles.
Tired of crying, and tired of thinking about it anymore, she went to the restaurant to put in some hours and try to keep her mind off him.
***
With his emotions raging, Eric’s first thoughts were to head to Brandon’s house after leaving Sofia’s. Then he remembered Brandon saying he was leaving first thing Saturday morning. Nothing would’ve made him feel better at that moment than to beat the living shit out of Brandon. < ofdon/p>
There was no hiding his feelings when he walked in the door, and his dad wasted no time asking him what the matter was. Eric simply said, “She cheated on me,” and headed to his room. Seeing him that upset, there was no way his dad was going to back down.
He could hardly even speak when his dad came in the room to try to console him. He kept the pillow over his face so his dad wouldn’t see what a pussy he was. It was sickening. Finally enraged that he could turn into such a crying mess, he got up and grabbed his gym bag. He held it together long enough to convince his dad he was going to be okay, and that he could in fact drive without doing anything stupid.
After working out at the gym, he sat in his car thinking. He’d finally got it together and stopped blubbering. He kept telling himself it was just a kiss, but it still hurt like hell. Sofia had made such a big deal out of him having coffee with Asia. She had to know a kiss was so much worse, so why? That’s what bothered him the most. Was she tired of Eric? Was he not enough for her anymore? Did she actually have feelings for Brandon?
His throat began to tighten again, annoying him to no end. What was even more maddening was it had only been hours since he last saw her, and already he missed her like crazy. He wasn’t even sure how much longer he could fight the ur
ge to answer her calls.
His cell phone went off, making him jump. Squeezing his eyes shut for a second, he picked it up to look at the caller ID. To his surprise, it was Sal. Could she have told him about it? If Sofia was going to tell any of her brothers, Sal would be the one. He almost didn’t answer, but the need to hear anything that might make him feel a little better prevailed. “Hey, Sal.”
“Eric, you got a minute?”
He knew—that much was obvious. Eric tried to sound casual. “Yeah, what’s up?”
Sal jumped right in with both feet. “Sofia told me what happened.”
Eric took a deep breath, willing the emotions that washed over him away. “Hmm,” was all he could muster without risking his voice breaking. For a moment, he considered hanging up. He completely regretted answering now.
“I know you’re mad, Eric. Hell, I’m mad. It was wrong of her to do it, and I’m not making excuses for her, but I seriously think Brandon planned this.”
The thought wasn’t one Eric hadn’t considered. He cleared his throat. “But she went for it, Sal. Is that how much I mean to her? This is the first time me and her have had to be apart, and she goes and does this?” He banged his steering wheel.
“I know. I know. You have every right to be pissed. I’m with you on that. I just think you should really think about the big picture. You two have been together too long—been through too much, to let something like this ruin it all. Sofia loves you.”
“Then why?” The damn tears were already rolling down his face and he squeezed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. “Did you ask her why?”
Sal was quiet for a moment. “No, but I can tell you why I think she did it.”