“Shh,” Levi soothed, pulling me back to lie against the couch. He cradled my head against his chest. I wrapped my arm around his waist and forced myself to calm down.
Levi ran his fingers through my hair, and said, “You don’t gotta do anything you don’t want. I just wanted to show you this place.” He swallowed hard and said, “It’s your passion from what I can tell. I wanted to show you that there were people like you, people who can make magic from words too.”
And with his words, my heart fell over the precipice it had been balancing on since meeting this boy. I tipped my head to look at Levi. I wanted to say so much. I wanted to express how he made me feel, how he made me feel with what he said to me—so kind and so pure—but I couldn’t find the words. My words were stolen the minute I wanted to express my feelings.
Suddenly, the lights dimmed and a woman, looking to be in her mid-thirties, took to the stage. The coffee house fell to a hush, and the woman closed her eyes, her voice powerful, but not as powerful as her words.
“Who am I? The girl on the street. Who am I? The subhuman at your feet…” The more the woman spoke, every sentence laced in hurt and pain, I felt like I had been physically punched in my gut. Levi, clearly sensing it, held me closer, kissing my head when my tears fell.
I listened for an hour to what could have been my life. This woman had had no home. She had been ignored, but more than that, more poignant to me, she had experienced what I had too. She had felt the slap of harsh words. She had been the target of cruelness… she understood. She understood what it was like to be ripped into by people, like those girls that had torn me to shreds, that had whittled me down until I was nothing but a shell… who poisoned my world until it became a world I didn’t want to live in anymore.
I knew Levi had brought me to see her because of how she had brought herself from the dark and empty streets of being homeless. He couldn’t know this too had been my past. He couldn’t know how close I came to the brink of letting their cruelty consume me completely.
Levi moved his arm, leaving my shoulders. I turned to thank him, to kiss him and express gratitude for the greatest gift I’d ever received, when he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a red hard-backed book. The blush on his cheeks almost matched the pigment of the book cover, and he handed it over, a delicate ribbon tied around it.
With trembling hands, I took it from him and read the title—‘Trials’. It was by Sarah Carol, the woman we’d just listened to. “Happy birthday, Elsie,” he added lovingly.
“Levi,” I whispered in response, a lump clogging my throat. I swallowed, but managed to say, “You… you gifted me words?”
Levi shrugged, nervously raking his fingers through his hair. “You have them in you, in your heart, even if you don’t like saying them aloud. Though you’ve shared them with me. I thought I’d return the gesture.”
I couldn’t stop them if I tried, the tears building in my eyes. I didn’t let them fall. I blinked them away. Leaning forward, I kissed Levi’s unshaven cheek. I couldn’t speak right now. Levi smiled and pointed at the stage.
“She’s signing them, Elsie.” I followed his hand, but shook my head.
“I couldn’t, I couldn’t ask…”
“I’ll get it signed if you want?”
My head tilted to the side, and I said, “You don’t like speaking to strangers either.”
“But I’d do it for you. I’ll be your voice when you can’t speak.”
Levi took my book from my hand and got to his feet. I quickly stood beside him, slipping my arm around his waist. Levi glanced down, and I said, “So you’re not alone for this too.”
His gray eyes filled with an emotion I wasn’t sure I was ready for, but he didn’t say anything, instead he led me toward the poet with his arm around my shoulders. We waited in line until it was our turn.
The poet smiled, and I dropped my eyes. “You enjoy the reading?” she asked.
Levi cleared his throat. “Yeah.”
I could feel the woman’s eyes on me, when she asked, “So, which of you likes the poetry?”
Levi squeezed me tighter, and replied, “My girl, Elsie. She writes too.”
Nerves accosted my body. I heard the woman scribble her signature on the page, when Levi said, “She’s kinda shy. She don’t speak all that much.”
I glanced up and the woman met my gaze. “I used to be the same, but I found the strength to express my voice through my words. That and by the woman I fell in love with.” I already knew she was bullied for being gay, made homeless for being gay, so her words were no surprise. In fact, they were like a balm to me. Because she’d been healed.
She handed the book to me, and I reached out and took it. Leaning in she said, “Eventually, something or someone will come along in your life to show you that what other people think don’t matter. You’ll find the strength to not let what people say affect you in quite the same way.”
I stared at the poet, and shyly smiled. Reaching behind her she gave me a black booklet, and said, “Here, for when inspiration strikes.”
I took the black blank notepad from her and held it to my chest.
“Thank you,” Levi spoke for me, and we made our way to the door. As we hit the cold night air, I looked up at Levi and pulled him to a stop. He turned, confusion on his face, when I rose to my tiptoes and kissed him with everything I had. I poured all of my thanks into that kiss, keeping my treasured books close to my chest. When I pulled back. Levi was out of breath, but his eyes were fixed on me.
“Thank you,” I whispered. “It’s been the best birthday I could ever have dreamed of.”
That shy smile I adored so much spread on Levi’s face and he slipped his hand in mine. “Let’s go home, bella mia.”
Home, I thought as we began walking to the Jeep. I knew Levi was referring to Austin and Lexi’s house, but I only read it as him and I. Because I was pretty sure that my home was solely with this sweet soul—wherever that may be.
Chapter Twelve
Levi
Something had switched on between us. I could feel the tension in the air as Elsie laid her hand over mine on her thigh. I was more aware of her now. Her hand felt differently in mine, and when I kissed her, I didn’t wanna stop.
I shook my head at the thought of that, because I never thought I’d ever get to this point with someone. I never thought that I’d ever get comfortable enough with someone to make love, or want to at least.
“Are you okay?” I glanced to Elsie beside me, who was looking at me with real concern.
I shook my head again. “I’m good, just tired that’s all.”
“You’ve had a long day.”
I smiled, knowing it still wasn’t over. I just hoped Austin had done everything I asked.
Pulling up to the house, I parked close to the back gate. I waited for Elsie to join me and guided her through the yard. As we were about to reach the door, Elsie pulled on my hand. Her books were close to her chest, which made me feel so proud I could burst.
Her head was cast down, when she said, “I just want to say thank you, Levi, for today. It’s been…” her soft voice faded off, ending the sentence with a sigh. I pulled her close, her eyes widening as I threaded my hand in the back of her hair.
“It’s not over,” I rasped, then opened the door to the pool house. I heard Elsie gasp behind me as she beheld the flowers and balloons filling the pool house.
“Levi,” she whispered, and scanned the entire room.
“Wait here,” I said, and moved to the spare back room. As I walked in, there was the birthday cake I’d bought. Throwing my jacket on the chair, I lit the candle on the cake and made my way into the front room.
Elsie was touching a cabbage rose when I approached. She turned when she heard me, and I said, “Tanti auguri, Elsie. Happy birthday.”
Elsie froze, then she dropped the books on the tabletop. Her hands went to her mouth. I stepped closer and closer until I stopped right in front of her, watching a
s she stared at the birthday cake, tears filling her eyes.
“It’s round, pink and my name is written on it,” she whispered. A sigh came from her throat. “Levi,” she cried and met my eyes.
I shrugged, feeling every ounce of her shock; but I wasn’t sure if I’d done the right thing. “I wanted today to be real special.” I hung my head, thinking that I’d really messed up. “You said your favorite birthday involved a cake. A pink cake that was round and had your name written across the top. I wanted to remind you of when your life wasn’t so hard.”
“My life has always been hard, Levi. Every day of my life.”
I winced knowing all this had been over-the-top. I was an idiot, trying too hard to make her happy. I turned to walk away, when Elsie grabbed hold of my arm. “Until I met you,” she confessed, almost in a whisper.
Her tiny voice caused my feet to plant onto the ground and heat to fire in my chest. I felt a kiss on my shoulder blade, and she said, “The day I met you, even in that alley, with just a simple cup of coffee, you showed me more kindness than I’d received in years, maybe ever.”
Her forehead fell to my back. “You’ve given me my voice, without judgment. You’ve given me adventures, and kisses. You’ve given me health and comfort… and you’ve given me words. You’ve given me words,” I heard her huff a laugh, “and you gave me light in a mason jar to keep the darkness away.”
I felt her tremble, when she added, painfully, “What have I given you to earn all this? To earn your trust?”
I inhaled sharply and turned back round. Elsie’s head was bowed. Placing the cake on the table, with wax now dripping from the candle, I said, “You’ve given me… me.”
My voice was low and raspy, but I needed her to look at me. I placed my finger under her chin and lifted her head. Her long light lashes were fluttering on her cheeks. I told her straight. “You never have to hide your face from me. You never have to be shy, not with me.”
Elsie’s eyes lifted, and her blue irises seared mine. I pushed a strand of her long blond hair behind her ear. Her cheeks were still rosy from the wind outside, and I swore there was no one on the damn planet more beautiful than this girl. At least not to me. “I’ve been lost, Elsie. Lost and drowning since I was a kid.”
“Like Leander. Drowning. Lost in the tide,” she added. I couldn’t help but smile.
“Like Leander,” I agreed, and swallowed hard. “Then I saw you. I saw you and you brought me back to me.” I took her pretty face in my hands, and said, “You, the pretty girl with no voice, gave me a voice again. Elsie, you brought me life.” I kissed her forehead, moving my cheek to rest against hers. With my mouth near her right ear, I assured, “That’s why you deserve all of this. Because you’re a life giver. A silent, resilient life giver.”
Tears fell down her cheeks, and I wiped them away with the pad of my thumbs. “Levi,” she whispered brokenly.
“Now, come and blow out your candle.”
Elsie laughed, her high-pitched giggle sounded like heaven to my ears. I lifted the cake and walked to sit on the bed. Elsie climbed on the opposite side and perched on her knees. Making sure I was near the bedside lamp, I placed the cake on the comforter. Elsie shuffled forward.
“Close your eyes and make a wish,” I instructed. As Elsie blew out the single candle, I flicked off the light. The lightning bug mason jar glowed beside her.
I watched as Elsie’s eyes opened, where she quickly looked around, seeing the room plunged into darkness. She looked to me as I moved the cake to the side table.
I covered her hand with my own and instructed, “Look up.”
Elsie frowned, but did as I asked. Her lips parted as a shocked breath left her mouth. I didn’t look up, I watched her instead. I didn’t want to look away as I watched an awed smile spread on her face. I couldn’t look away as she stared at the ceiling of stars.
“Levi,” she whispered through her tears. “What have you done? What are you doing to my heart and my soul?”
For once I went with the words that wanted to spill from my mouth. “I’m falling for you.”
Blood rushed to my cheeks, my nerves flaming with fire. But what I had said was enough to tear Elsie’s attention from the plastic neon stars and focus on me. Silently she edged closer and closer, until her lips fell on mine, her mouth nervous and shy, before growing bolder and stronger.
I kissed her back. I kissed her back with everything I had, my hands wrapping around her golden strands. Elsie moaned into my mouth as we lowered to lie back on the bed. We kissed and we kissed until, breathless, Elsie pulled back to look into my eyes. “Levi, you… you make me want to give my heart away.”
And that was all it took. That was all it took for me to fall completely for my silent girl, my beautiful girl.
Bella mia.
“Elsie,” I groaned, edging back from her mouth. Seeing her bare throat, the light skin I had to kiss, I moved my lips down to brush along the smooth flesh.
Elsie moaned and squirmed under my touch. Her skin tasted as sweet as apples. As my lips ran over her pulse, I felt it beating fast—too fast.
I suddenly pulled back as Elsie’s back arched, and I sat back on my heels. My hands were fisted on my thighs as I fought back what I wanted to do. Something I had no idea how to initiate.
The feel of a fingertip ran over the back of my hand, but I kept my eyes closed. I was hard, and I was trying like hell to calm down.
“Levi—” Elsie went to speak, but I cut her off.
“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice thick with need. “I’ll back off. I just… I just need a minute.”
Elsie didn’t say anything in response, and I worked on breathing in and out. Then, suddenly, I felt a kiss press on the bottom of my throat. My eyes snapped open to see Elsie sitting back before me. As our gazes met, she held my eyes in her trance. I lifted her hand to my face. Her fingers traced the edge of my forehead, slipping down my cheeks and across my lips. I rubbed them together when it tickled, but Elsie didn’t stop there.
Her hands continued down my throat, to the top of my chest, only to stop where the buttons on my shirt were still done up.
Her warm breath drifted over my face, and in the glow of the mason jar, I watched her pupils dilate. I froze, unable to move and unable to speak, then Elsie undid the next button on my shirt.
My blood rushed through my ears, and I stared at Elsie’s flushed face. Her eyes were intent on mine as her fingers undid one, then two, three, and four buttons. My pants grew tighter the farther down her hands went, my skin flushing as she touched it.
The silence stretched on until my shirt was open. I waited for what she would do next. I had let her take control. I didn’t expect her to push the shirt from my shoulders, the material dropping to my wrists. I sucked in a sharp breath, getting so hard I could barely stand it. Then Elsie moved in and kissed the skin on my chest.
“Shit,” I hissed, the feel of her mouth on me caused my muscles to tense. Elsie paused, but when I looked down, she pressed another kiss to my chest. She pressed kiss after kiss along to my pecs. I squeezed my eyes shut, her touch the sweetest torture.
Her soft lips landed on the side of my neck, they moved higher until her mouth stopped at my ear, and she hushed out, “Make love to me.”
My eyes opened and my breathing stopped.
Elsie’s breathing was ragged as she waited for me. Her head then moved back until her blue eyes came into view, her blue eyes filled with want… for me.
She wanted me.
I wanted her… so bad.
“Elsie,” I groaned, lifting my fingers to her hair. I pushed my fingers into the thick strands and watched as she closed her eyes, then licked along her lips. “Elsie,” I murmured and brushed my cheek against hers. “Are… are you sure?”
Elsie stilled, but she didn’t speak. I waited and waited until I felt her move back. She moved out of my grip and away from where I sat. My heart plummeted when I thought she’d changed her mind.
I exh
aled, ready to move off the bed for some air, when Elsie began lifting her shirt over her head, throwing it to the floor, only her pink bra remaining.
My hands clenched as I stared at her beauty, at her incredible body, at her milky white skin. Then she edged forward until she was right in front of me. Until her bare skin was in my reach.
I could feel my face was on fire. “Elsie,” I whispered again, feeling completely out of my depth.
“Make love to me,” she repeated and slowly placed her arms around my neck. With tears in her eyes, she added, “Underneath the stars you gifted me. Make love to me.”
My heart slammed against my chest. I had to admit, “I ain’t ever done this before.” I lowered my eyes. “I ain’t ever done anything like this before.”
Embarrassment gripped me, until Elsie pressed her hand on my chest, my heart beating fast.
“Me neither.”
Lifting my eyes, I stared at her pretty face, which watched me so intently, and rasped, “You’re so beautiful.”
Elsie’s cheek reddened, and before she could do anything else, I kissed her soft lips and shed my shirt. Skimming my hands over her soft skin, I lowered us to the bed, Elsie laying her back to the comforter. Lost in the kiss, I moved over her body, covering her with my own. Elsie moaned into my mouth as her hands ran down my back. The feeling shot straight to my dick, sending shivers over my flushed skin.
I groaned into her mouth. Breaking from the kiss, I moved down her throat to her chest. I stopped at her breasts. Elsie froze beneath me, and I looked up into her eyes.
She nodded her head, agreeing for me to touch her. Swallowing my nerves, I ran my hand over the top of her bra, her back arching and her soft moans filling the room. Spurred on by her encouraging sounds, I pulled down the straps of her bra, pulling them lower with shaking hands until her breasts were freed.
Breath hitching at the sight, I moved my timid fingers over the full flesh, then over the tight pink nipple that was hardening under my touch. Elsie cried out as the pad of my finger teased the hard bud. I froze at the sound and asked, “Are you okay?”