I quickly stand and drop my hands from the redheaded girl, backing away. Her eyes flash with shock. Bugger. I do not have time to deal with angry girls.
“Er, look, I’m sorry, but I need to work on these songs a few more times by myself. I’ll give you a ring to hang out later. All right, then?”
“Are you serious?”
“I’ll let you show yourselves out.” Her friend is staring at me, mouth dangling open to show the chewing gum inside.
Yep. I’m a prick. Don’t care. They need to go. Now.
Redhead lets out an angry growling sound and proceeds to gather her belongings and stomp off. Her friend glares at me before they finally leave.
I put my headphones back on and force myself to relax. This Neph will not beat me. If the Dukes think they can send a tiny, beautiful actress to throw me off my game, they are mistaken.
I release my crazed anxieties on the drums but keep her in my peripheral vision when she enters the basement. She gently closes the door and looks around the room in awe before her stare lands on me. As she watches, a cloud of lust practically glows in red around her, and it makes me play harder.
Call me moody, but if I’m expecting a shag and it falls through because a possible enemy decides to show, it puts me on edge. Especially when this possible enemy is hot for me and I refuse to touch her. I’ve never had such ambiguous feelings for someone. I’m a paranoid, confused mess, and that irks the bejesus out of me.
Enough of this. The game ends now. I slam the final beats and then stand, throwing down my headphones.
“Well, if it isn’t little orphan Annie,” I say.
A hurt look crosses her face, and navy sadness slices through her aura. I refuse to feel bad. I get myself a drink and decide to call her out. Take this to the next level.
I take out my knife. Open it. Twirl it. All the while watching her fear and confusion. I want her to speak, but she doesn’t. So, I move closer. Get right in her face. Cage her in against the wall.
Now she’s the one feeling ambiguous—torn between lust and fear. I keep my knife steady in my hand, out at my side where she can see it. I am primed and ready for a fight, expecting her to reveal secret ninja skills at any moment, but she doesn’t. She merely melts back against the wall.
“What do you want?” I ask.
“I just want to talk. You don’t have to try to scare me.”
Her voice shakes. The darkness of her fear is overridden by a puff of red as my hips graze against hers.
“There’s hardly any room for fear when you’re so bloody turned on.”
A blade of near blackness slices through her lust. I’m making her mad. Good on me. Perhaps if she’s angry enough she’ll finally blurt out what she wants.
“Ah, there’s anger now . . . and a bit of embarrassment.”
“I know what we are now,” she says in a shaking breath. The sound of her voice rakes against my cold heart. What we are . . . is it truly possible she didn’t know? Obviously she knew she was different, but could she have been ignorant about being the daughter of a demon? Possible, but not probable. It has to be a bloody lie.
“Congratulations.” I consider kissing her, just to see how she’ll react. Just to see how those pretty little lips feel.
At that thought I push away from the wall, berating myself, as I send my small dagger flying at the dartboard with a hard throw.
Bull’s-eye.
I make it smoothly to the couch and turn, not wanting my back to her for too long. I sit and wait for her to explain why she’s come, but she simply stands there at a loss. Heavy doubt clouds my mind. Did she come here to talk to me about what we are? If she didn’t know before, how would she have found out? I want to ask, but if it’s all a wicked hoax, I can’t fall into her trap.
Something inside me twinges—I hear something outside, but everyone should be gone by now. I push my hearing through the house and down our curved driveway.
A smooth-engined car.
My father’s velvety voice as he talks on his mobile, schmoozing someone, chuckling.
Of all the bad fucking timing . . .
I look at Anna, but she doesn’t appear to be listening. Does she know he’s coming? Is this a trap? I wait for a smug look to cross her face, for the act to drop, but she’s the very same Anna, standing there in a cloud of hurt feelings.
Sudden clarity smacks me and I feel the strangest sense of protectiveness over my mysterious Nephilim girl. I know I’ve been contemplating whether or not she’s working with Father and the other Dukes, but in that moment my gut feeling overtakes me.
I don’t think she is. Deep down, I think she’s legit. Call me a damned fool, but the idea of keeping this girl in the room with my father is like putting a speckled fawn in the path of a wolf.
I have to hide her.
Father is saying his good-byes on the mobile now, and the driver is walking around to let him out. It’s likely that Father has already heard us, but if he was on the phone he mightn’t have. If I attempt to take Anna out a back way, he will hear both of our footsteps and wonder why I’m avoiding him. I have about one minute to dupe him into thinking she’s a hookup.
I jump from the couch and lunge at Anna, grasping her shoulders hard and pressing my lips to her ear. I whisper as softly as I can.
“My father is here.”
She stiffens under my hand. Yes, she knows what we are, therefore she knows Father is a demon. Be afraid, Anna.
I pull her to the couch and fling her down. Thank God for female blouses with buttons. I rip it open, needing the scene to appear real. When she sucks in a shocked breath I press a finger to her lips. Her aura is a swirl of gray tones, both fear and embarrassment. This is not the time for modesty. I can’t have her appearing terrified if we’re supposed to be going at it. So I toss a throw blanket at her and rip my own shirt over my head. I point to her shirt and she starts rolling her shoulders to get it off.
God, she is sexy. Even in that innocent white satin bra. Let’s just hope I haven’t been a fool and she doesn’t shove a dagger in my spine. I lower my body over hers and taste the skin at the base of her throat. I move upward to the curve of her neck and shoulder, and let out a low moan. Our skin touches and she moves underneath me in a sultry way, grasping the nearby pillows in her fists.
I suddenly want all her clothes off.
The sound of Father coming down the stairs erases that thought from my mind. He knows by now I’m with a girl, but he has no notion of privacy.
When the door opens, Anna’s body jumps under me and she lets out a squeak. I turn my head to the door where Father stands, smiling, inching farther to the side to get a better look at Anna. Damn. I can’t hide her any further without being obvious.
“My apologies, son. I didn’t realize you had company.” He is still moving casually across the room, staring.
Before I can say a word, the politeness slips from his features and his eyes flash red. I look down at Anna, who has foolishly allowed the blanket to fall enough to give Father a side view of her badge. I hold my breath. They definitely do not seem to know each other.
“I never imagined you’d care to entertain female Nephilim,” he grits.
Not good. Not fucking good. Neph can work together, but they are not to play together. Especially in the one-on-one way.
“I don’t normally.” I stand and move away, as if coming to my senses. “She caught me while I was bored and alone after practice.”
His face sours as he scents the air. “You will come up for tea. Both of you.” He leaves, and I ball my hands. Close my eyes. I want to punch something.
Anna is my problem. My mystery. I don’t want to share her with anyone, especially not the wolf upstairs. It’s clear now they weren’t working together. The blood has drained from Anna’s face as she clutches the blanket to her chest. I simultaneously feel sorry for her and want to shout at her. She’s a stupid, stupid girl for coming here.
She reaches for her shirt and tries to p
ut it on, but there are buttons missing from when I went all Incredible Hulk. I toss her my red T-shirt and she puts it on.
No girl has ever worn my clothes before, and it’s the embodiment of sexiness. I imagine her wearing it the morning after we’ve had an all-night shag fest.
I shake my head. What the hell is wrong with me? Father is waiting.
I lead her up the stairs to the sitting room, and I lean against the wall to watch helplessly as the wolf licks the fawn.
She maintains her norm of complete innocence as Father questions her. I listen and learn all the things I was too afraid to ask, though I’m still unsure how she came by the information. She has no idea her demonic father’s name is Belial or what he does. Belial most likely doesn’t know she exists. She and I met coincidentally at a gig, and she’s just learning what she is. My head is spinning with thoughts when I hear Father say to Anna—
“. . . you reek of innocence. Yes, that’s right. I can smell it—your virginity.”
I nearly topple over in surprise, and Father laughs at the look of horror on Anna’s face. There is no way she’s pure. No. Way.
Father smacks his knee in astonishment. “A sixteen-year-old Neph virgin! How do you expect to be a bad influence on humans if you aren’t behaving badly yourself?”
Anna says nothing, but her eyes dart around nervously. I’m still gaping in shock at the revelation. Father informs her she’s the daughter of the Duke of Substance Abuse, and I am so floored, so gobsmacked by her innocence, that blood rushes inside my ears and I can hardly concentrate.
She was never out to kill me or test my loyalty. My God, she was truly drugged by that human boy! And probably was telling the truth about never having been kissed. How is this possible? It’s just my luck that I’d stumble upon her. If I’d known, I could have urged her to move far away from Father and other Dukes, but I was consumed by my own paranoid assumptions. I mean, really, what are the bloody chances?
Oh, fantastic. Now Father is pulling out his bag of recreational drugs, and Anna is practically shivering and drooling as she looks at it all. I want to warn Father that Anna and drugs are not a pretty combination, but I clamp my mouth shut.
I can’t let myself feel bad for her. Father knows about her now, so she’s no longer my problem. It’s too late for “should haves.” Anna will have to work now like the rest of us. It’s her legacy to push drugs and alcohol. As a Neph, she has to be a “bad girl” by society’s standards in every way but still recognize when to be seemingly docile to stay out of trouble. Her ability to tempt others will be wrapped up in a blend of her sensuality, tolerance for substances, and a personality that makes her sin appear fun and harmless. Neph learn from an early age that sex, drugs, and alcohol go hand in hand. It’s what’s expected by the Dukes, so Anna cannot remain a virgin. She’ll learn and she’ll be fine. She will grow to enjoy it.
I will not feel bad.
My head snaps up when I hear Father say my name. He’s still talking to Anna.
“Kaidan will take good care of you. He’ll have you working to the best of your abilities in no time at all. Don’t take too long about it, though. Learn what you need to, and get to work.” He turns to me and I stand straighter. “I’m expecting company this evening and you are to join us. Marissa is bringing one of her nieces.”
Acid rises in my throat. “Yes, Father.”
Anna is staring at me with curiosity, and I have to look away.
My mind is whirling when I return home from taking Anna to her apartment. So much has happened in the span of a few short hours. I can’t believe she’s lived with an adoptive mother all these years, a woman named Patti who loves her fiercely—even I took to the woman straightaway. And I can’t believe what I’ve agreed to. I’ve gone completely mad, but the thrill of it is all-consuming.
Her words tumble through my mind as I let myself in the front door of my house.
“What will happen if I don’t, you know, do all the stuff your father told me to? Because I’m not going to . . .” “I want to wait until I’m married . . .” “My mother was an angel . . . A guardian angel . . .” “What does it mean to be Nephilim?”
The girl is half angel, half demon. An anomaly. I’d laughed and told her she’s a walking contradiction, but truly I’m mesmerized. I keep wondering what it must be like to be both. It’s unheard of. And to be raised and nurtured by a human . . . wow.
And though it’s all fascinating, her stubbornness against changing her ways cannot possibly last. Now that Father knows about her, she belongs to the Dukes—at least her body does. And they expect her to use her body for their purposes. Tomorrow morning I’ll be up bright and early to begin teaching her the ways of the Neph—
My thoughts are interrupted when I pass the sitting room. I stop dead in my tracks, shocked at myself for forgetting. Father is standing beside the leather sofa, where Marissa sits with a small girl at her side. The girl I’ve been dreading.
Fuuuuuuuck.
No, no, no. I want to scream and rail. This cannot be happening.
She is just as young as the pictures.
“Come in, Kaidan,” Father says.
I do as he says, and I see Marissa put a hand on the girl’s leg when she whimpers. I can’t bring myself to look the child in the eyes.
“Kaidan, this is Marissa’s newest niece, Viktoria. We were hoping you could help ease her into her new life.” His words are so casual. I’ve heard them a thousand times. Though I’ve never liked this aspect of my “job,” I’ve never been repulsed like this.
I grab the back of my neck, trying to steady myself.
“She doesn’t speak English,” Marissa says. “But some things are universal, yes?” She and Father share a smile. “She is to remain a virgin, of course.”
I allow my gaze to flicker to the girl, whose eyes are red-rimmed. Her light hair is pulled into loose pigtails. Her feet dangle, not touching the floor, in worn Mary-Jane-style shoes. I step back, causing Father’s eyes to glow like a stoplight. Marissa and the girl do not have the ability to see his eyes redden, and I wish I didn’t either.
“Is there a problem?” he asks through clenched teeth.
The answer should be “No, sir.” I could try to force myself. I could try to think of someone else. Anna’s face flashes through my mind’s eye. She would cry if she saw this. I look at the little girl’s feet again, and I can’t. I just bloody can’t.
“Kaidan,” Father whispers, and that one word is laden with warning.
I dare to lift my eyes to his and open my mouth to speak the words. “I will do anything you ask of me that’s in my physical power, Father. You know that. But I cannot force my body to react to a child. It’s just . . . not my thing.” I grab the back of my neck again as he stares at me. I’ve never defied him.
“Shall I get you a Viagra?” he asks. I nearly scoff. Oh, yes, that’s just what I need. Artificial lust. Marissa cackles in mirth at his cruel teasing.
“Anything but this,” I whisper.
“Are you morally against it?” He edges toward me, fire in his eyes. “Do you think the services Marissa is providing to hardworking clients are beneath you?”
“Of course not,” I lie.
“Are you like the other prudes in society who think their brand of lust is the only acceptable one?” He is right in my face now, and my heart is racing.
“No, sir. Lust is lust.”
“Then what is the problem?” he shouts, and spittle forms at the edges of his mouth.
Marissa is grinning, and the girl Viktoria begins to cry. Marissa pulls a fucking sweet from her purse and gives it to the child, crooning, “There, there.”
Father continues his tirade. “Did you not tell me you can feel lust for anyone?”
Shite. I should have never told him that.
“Not anyone, sir. Only those who lust for me first.”
Yeah, nasty little fact about me. Anyone, and I mean anyone who blazes a red aura for me . . . I will find something to f
ancy about them as well. Sexy ankles, full lips, shiny hair, you name it. It’s as if my body is hardwired to do my job with no excuses. But this child has a few years before she’ll know what lust is.
Father huffs through his nose, nostrils flaring. This is it. This is where he’ll give me an ultimatum. Take the girl to my room this instant or dig myself a nice burial hole somewhere out in the woods. I can’t believe it’s come to this.
Marissa stands and saunters over, placing a hand on Father’s shoulder.
“Darling, let him be.” She pushes herself in so she’s sandwiched between us, her arse against Father and her heavy chest against mine. Father growls and takes her hips as she runs her hands over my shoulders and down my arms. Her aura goes red as she stares up at me with bloodred lips and black-lined eyes. My stupid body reacts.
Marissa laughs and rubs against me. “He can’t help it if he prefers grown women.”
I hate her.
“I will train the girl myself, luv,” Father says against her ear.
I hate him, as well.
Father snaps his fingers twice in the air and shouts, “Raul!” In a moment the driver stands in the doorway. “Ready the car for Marissa.”
“Yes, sir.” The driver bows his head and hurries off.
Father glares at me and then flicks his hand to tell me to get out of his sight. As I turn to go I glimpse the girl with the sweet in her cheek and the sad eyes.
I hate my life.
CHAPTER FIVE
Road Trip with a Nun
“Come and take a walk on the wild side . . .
’Cause you and I, we were born to die.”
—“Born to Die” by Lana Del Rey
After the events of last night, I need to focus on protecting myself and staying alive. Nevertheless, here I am, humoring this girl who refuses to do what’s best for her. Driving her across the country to meet her demon father for the first time.
Yeah, there’s no part of this arrangement that’s smart, is there?
Patti, although she seemed to loathe the idea of Anna meeting Belial, thinks he will somehow be able to help and protect Anna. When Patti adopted Anna, she was told by the orphanage to find Belial and return to speak with a nun named Sister Ruth when Anna got older. There’s more to this story than I can guess, and I’m too damned curious to walk away now. Plus, I feel a foreign sense of obligation for her. I could have offered to fly us—I certainly have the funds—but a road trip will allow me more time to figure her out. Alone.