Like there might be someone to talk to.
He’d gone out with Kelly several times in the last two weeks—taking her to the movies, to dinner, to the ballet. They’d had lunch together several times, and she’d come out to his place on Saturday, taking the trip to the park with Ralph, and then just hanging out for most of the day. She’d even allowed him to have Pete stick with her to keep her safe.
But they hadn’t yet had sex.
He had no real idea why she was hesitating, although she’d said several times that she wanted to take it a little bit slow. He was willing to do that. He could almost understand it. But she’d never been reticent about sex before, and he was ready to get back into it. The constant frustration—from being around her, surrounded by her, for two weeks, without being able to bury himself inside her—was putting a bit of a damper on his mood.
He was trying to be patient, but he wasn’t used to holding back from what he wanted. And he wanted her. So much. More now than ever.
A few days ago, they’d been kissing after dinner, and he’d gotten so hard that she’d slipped her fingers in his pants and gotten him off with her hand.
It wasn’t bad. Not at all. But it wasn’t nearly enough.
So, when, on the second Saturday after they’d gotten back together, she spent the day with him and stayed on into the evening, watching a couple of old movies, he was starting to get his hopes up.
It was late when the last movie ended, and he asked if she wanted to stay the night.
“Really?” she asked, hiding her eyes behind her hair in a way that was tantalizing, irresistible.
“Of course. I’ll even give you one of my shirts to sleep in, if you want.”
Twenty minutes later, she was sitting on his bed with her legs tucked up under her, wearing nothing but one of his blue oxford shirts that managed to look both innocent and sexy, and asked him if he was sure it was all right that she sleep with him when she wasn’t yet ready for sex. Caleb hid a surge of disappointment and said that of course she could.
He was rewarded when her worry transformed into smiling, tender warmth. Her hair was a lovely, erotic cascade all over her back and shoulders. And her smooth, graceful legs were folded almost provocatively, leading up to the sensuous curve of her hips.
Caleb ached for her—his body, his heart, everything. But he schooled his expression so that she wouldn’t see his frustration. And, after he took off his clothes, he pulled on a pair of gray pajama pants, even though he preferred not to wear them.
He turned out the light and got under the covers beside Kelly.
She shifted to her side and brushed her hair out of her face. “Are you getting annoyed with waiting for me?”
She looked so worried, even in the dark, that Caleb couldn’t help but smile. “It’s only been two weeks. I’m not such an ass that I can’t manage to refrain from sex for a couple of weeks.”
He was such an ass. He had been since he’d hit puberty. But he’d told her he was willing to change, if he could, and he’d meant it—so he could hardly back out now.
Her mouth softened in an answering smile. “I suppose not. But I think this is different. I’m really not intending to tease and torture you, you know.” Her hand slipped up to his chest, and she rubbed it, more affectionate than erotic.
“I didn’t think you were,” he assured her, enjoying her touch in whatever form it took. “I know you’ve been all torn up by everything that’s happened. It makes sense that you don’t want to rush into anything too soon.”
She opened her mouth, as if to object. But then she closed it, and instead leaned over and pressed a soft kiss into his neck.
Caleb experienced another pang of disappointment that she still didn’t trust him enough to truly tell him why she was stalling.
When Kelly pulled back, her face was natural and relaxed. “I need to start rounding up some more clients, I think. Taking most of the month off kind of stalled my momentum.”
Caleb gave her a dry half smile, thinking of the business acquaintance with a full-size poodle he’d suggested get a portrait made from Kelly. “I already got you a perfectly good client.”
Kelly giggled and gave him a teasing slap on his bare chest. “Idiot. Like I would take a client you bullied into using my services.”
He managed to maintain a smug expression. “As if I would do anything so crass as bully someone.”
Kelly seemed to appreciate his pretense at arrogance. She chuckled huskily and pulled him into a soft hug. “I love it when you act all cool and superior.”
He loved when she was like this. Loved how she wanted to be close to him. Loved that it felt so real, so natural—so inexplicably different than the way they were before, as if something inside her had melted or relaxed.
But her fond affection did make it difficult for Caleb to maintain his patience and self-control. When his body instinctively reacted to the feel of her soft curves against him, he pulled away gently. Clearing his throat, he replied, “What do you mean? There’s no act here. I am cool and superior.”
She giggled deliciously and didn’t try to nestle against him again.
Since she was in a talkative, affectionate mood, he risked a question. “And, since I’m so cool and superior, have you thought any more about giving me more information on this guy from your past?”
He felt her grow very still beside him. “Caleb—”
“I’m just asking.”
“I know. But I’m wondering if he’s giving up on me again. Nothing has happened since that one attack.”
“I know that. But I’ve been protecting you all this time, with the exception of the two days you left me, so he may not have had an opportunity. You can’t just ignore men like him. They always come back. They’ll always remain a threat until they’re dealt with.”
“But I don’t want you involved any more than you already are. I don’t want to put you in danger.”
“Why do you assume I’m in danger from him? He’s much more likely to be in danger from me.” His voice had taken on a certain chill, but there was no way he could hide it.
She swallowed so hard he could see it. “Caleb, please.”
“I’m serious, Kelly. I know people. I have resources. I could make a call and have the whole thing taken care of.”
She didn’t answer, but he felt her trembling in the bed beside him.
“It’s true.”
“I know it’s true,” she whispered.
“Does that scare you?”
“A little.”
He felt something painful clamp down on his heart. “Does that scare you away?”
She shook her head. “No. I’m not going anywhere.”
He let out a breath, amazed that someone could know him so well, so deeply, and stay by his side in spite of that. He reached out to pull her against him, holding her close since it was the only way he had at the moment for expressing his feelings.
He wanted to do so much more, but that wasn’t yet being offered.
—
It was still dark when Caleb woke up.
Blinking, he adjusted to the darkened room and glanced over at the bedside clock. 4:15. He usually woke up naturally at dawn, so he wondered what had woken him up now.
Then he heard it.
Kelly moaned beside him.
Rolling over quickly, he peered at her, his senses immediately alert. She was lying on her back, her hair a tousled mess around her. She was still sleeping, but the covers had slipped down to her waist.
The shirt had come unbuttoned and was revealing a lot of her neck and one shoulder, and one of her arms was draped over her belly.
As he watched, she moaned again, her features tightening for a moment with the sound.
Caleb couldn’t tell if it was a nightmare or an erotic dream, but his body reacted to the low, throaty sound of her groan.
She gave a little grunt and her body shifted on the bed. When his eyes slid lower, he could faintly see that her nipples were tig
ht and were poking out wantonly through the cotton.
Smothering a groan of his own, Caleb felt his cock start to harden.
“Eh,” Kelly huffed in her sleep, her head tossing gently on the pillow.
Caleb’s body was suddenly way too hot, so he pushed the covers down impatiently.
Kelly’s arm flew up, from her belly to the pillow above her head, and she gasped in vague response before she grunted softly again.
Caleb was almost fully erect now, and he was hard-pressed not to reach down to his own cock. Kelly must be having an erotic dream. She must. She made those kinds of noises when she was close to orgasm.
He was considering waking her up when her body jerked again. “No, no, no,” she mumbled, still in her dream.
Caleb’s spine stiffened, and his heart lurched painfully. It must not be a good dream after all.
Reaching over, he gently shook Kelly by the shoulder. “Kelly. Kelly, wake up.”
“No,” Kelly gasped, flailing in response to his touch. “No! Murderer.”
He flinched at the word. “Kelly!” he said sharply, needing her to wake up because he couldn’t stand to hear her sound so helpless.
Her eyes flew open on a frantic huff, and she gaped at him.
“You were dreaming,” he explained thickly, torn between concern and hot arousal.
“Oh,” she panted, staring at him blindly. After a moment, she whimpered a little and burrowed into him.
He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. “Was it bad?” he asked.
She was shaking and gasping against him, but he could swear that she was aroused. Her body just felt aroused as she squirmed against him.
Or maybe it was merely wishful thinking.
He tried not to let himself hope, since she’d clearly just had a bad dream. But his body was hoping, was throbbing, anyway.
“It was”—she began shakily—“it was intense.”
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
It took Kelly a minute to get herself together enough to explain. “You know I’ve had issues with men in the past.”
Caleb tensed up involuntarily.
She went on, although she must have felt his response. “So, sometimes what should just be a nice sexy dream turns into—something else.”
She sounded so small and broken that he dropped any hope of having sex right now. Instead, he rocked her against him. He felt too much to try to say anything, since all of this was so painfully new to him.
It seemed like he didn’t have to say anything. Kelly whispered, “Thanks, Caleb. I was so relieved to wake up and remember where I am now.”
It soothed something in his chest, despite his damned aching cock. He kept holding her against him, until her shuddering angst had eased up.
And then, before he knew to expect it, her hand started fumbling down between them. Slid under the waistband of his loose pajama pants and closed on his erection.
“Kelly,” he rasped as he felt her cool fingers against his hot flesh.
She pressed against him, until his cock was trapped between the pressure of her hand and his lower belly. He sucked in a breath and tried not to buck his hips against her touch.
“I’m sorry I’m so fucked up, Caleb,” she whispered, her palm rubbing firmly up and down his length.
Caleb couldn’t restrain a guttural exclamation of pleasure as his breathing hitched and accelerated. “Kelly,” he forced out. “It’s fine. I’m fucked up enough myself. If you don’t want to—” He had to bite his lip hard as her fingers gently fondled the head of his shaft.
“See,” Kelly began hoarsely. “That’s the thing.”
She released his cock, which made Caleb grunt in disappointment. But then she found one of his hands, and guided it down between her legs, after slipping it under the waistband of her underwear.
Caleb grunted again when he realized that she was hot and wet. Feeling a new urgency to the pressure of arousal inside him, he moved his fingers, sliding them against the slick warmth of her pussy.
Kelly sucked in her breath and squirmed insistently against his hand.
“Kelly?” he asked. He had no idea what was going on, and he was almost afraid to hope.
“I’m scared, Caleb,” Kelly whispered.
Caleb’s hand grew still between her legs, but he couldn’t bring himself to move it away. “What are you scared of?”
He didn’t understand. If only he knew what was scaring her, he could start to make it better.
She reached up to hold on to his shoulders, as if she needed to cling to something. “It’s going to sound stupid.”
He stroked her again, before he could stop himself, making her gasp sharply in pleasure. She was so wet for him—from her dream or from his touch now—that his fingers were coated with her moisture. He didn’t slide a finger inside her, but he rubbed the length of his fingers between the folds of her flesh. She winced in response, grinding her arousal against his hand in naked need.
It felt like ages since he’d pleased her this way.
“Tell me anyway,” he insisted huskily.
Her face twisted reluctantly as her frenzied motion against his hand grew still. She explained in a self-conscious mumble, “It was so intense last time. So real. I’m afraid it’s going to be just as real this time.”
Caleb inhaled at the sudden clench in his heart. He felt an intense surge of understanding, desire, tenderness, pride.
“It—it just scares me.”
He made a rough sound in his throat and pulled her against him with his free arm, his other hand still in between her legs, touching her intimately. “Kelly, blossom, it was real. It will be real. But you don’t have to be scared. This is the only time it’s ever been real for me too.”
A little shudder ran through her, and she didn’t say anything.
“We can wait as long as you need,” he murmured, not sure of what else to say.
But she must have made her decision. “I don’t want to wait anymore.” Kelly rolled over onto her back, pulling him over her as she did.
Caleb situated himself between her legs. “You sure?”
Now that he was here, on top of her, gazing at her in a lush sprawl beneath him, he wasn’t sure he could hold back anymore.
She nodded. “I want to. I’m just scared.”
“Don’t be scared,” he murmured, kissing her, softly at first, and then more deeply and passionately, as the tightly coiled need inside him finally found an outlet.
As they kissed, they started working on their clothing, until Caleb’s pajamas and Kelly’s shirt were tossed over the side of the bed.
Caleb was still hard, and he was so achingly needy now that he wasn’t sure he could last very long. He felt between her legs again, sliding a finger inside her and pumping it to make sure she was still wet enough.
She let out a shaky sigh and gazed up at him, eyes wide and urgent, supple mouth full and deeply red.
“You ready?” he asked thickly.
She nodded, her fingers pressing into his skin as she gripped his shoulders.
Bracing himself on one arm, he lined himself up at her entrance. Pushed into her, grunting as he felt her tight, wet channel clinging to his hard flesh as he sank in deeper.
It was so good. His cock was already pulsing with intensifying pleasure. He froze, squeezing his eyes shut and jerking his head to the side as he fought to control the overwhelming pressure surging through him.
This was different. So different than it had ever been before.
And suddenly he realized one of the reasons why.
With a rough exclamation, he reared up urgently on straightened arms. “Fuck,” he rasped. “The condom.”
Kelly was shifting and shuddering beneath him, and he managed to open his eyes to look at her. She was biting her lip, and her cheeks were deeply flushed. “It’s all right,” she panted. “Birth control is covered. You’re healthy, aren’t you? And we’re not sleeping with anyone else. Right?”
He couldn’t help but release a lingering groan—at the knowledge that he was buried inside her, nothing between them at all. “Yes,” he huffed, tightening his body as he kept struggling for control. “God, Kelly, you feel so good.”
She was squirming now, her full breasts jiggling with her restless motion. “You too. Please move.”
Caleb clenched his jaw and held himself rigid on his arms. He managed to pull his pelvis back and rock into her, feeling a wave of uncontrolled pleasure as he did.
Kelly arched her back and reached beside herself to fumble with the sheets. “Caleb, please,” she whimpered. “Need you. Need this. Need to come.”
Almost growling in response, he jerked his head. Thrust again, his eyes, his ears, his head, his heart, his cock starting to pulse with the cadence of his need. “Fuck, Kelly,” he gritted out, fucking her in urgent little thrusts. “So good. Can’t last long.”
It was almost humiliating, to need her—to need anyone—this much.
But he did.
She must have been pretty far gone herself now, since she was squirming her pelvis ceaselessly against his penetration. “It’s okay,” she gasped, arching her neck and twisting her features with effort. “Just—another minute.”
She reached down beneath his body, which he was holding off of her as much as he could. Her knuckles brushing against the base of his cock in a way that made him shake, she rubbed her clit in fast, little circles, starting to huff out breathless grunts.
Her body started to tighten and her knees drew up beside his hips. He could feel her pussy pulsing around his throbbing cock as he thrust into her with short, clumsy pumps.
Kelly’s face was contorting in pleasure and concentration, and she kept grunting softly as her instinctive motion became more frantic.
Caleb was so close to losing it that his vision blurred over, and he had to stop his motion abruptly.
Kelly was whimpering loudly in shameless need, her hand working frenziedly on her clit. “Caleb!” she almost sobbed. “Caleb, please!”
He took a harsh, painful breath. Drove into her with six more fast, hard pushes.
She arched up, practically coming off the bed, her head tossing to the side and her whole body shuddering with her release, tears streaming from her eyes into her hair.