Chapter 9
Alex saw Rick in the school parking lot the following morning. Rick had been right about Liam. Liam was gay. Alex had assumed that it was just a stupid rumor that Sam had spread to torment Liam.
But maybe that’s what it was. After all, Alex reasoned, it was quite unlikely that Liam had come out to Sam and Rick, which meant that they must have made a lucky guess. Regardless, Alex had decided not to confirm it to Rick. He had promised Liam that he would keep his secret. Furthermore, he didn’t want anybody to know that he had been playing video games in his house with a gay guy.
“Did Liam beat your ass in Call of Duty again?” Rick teased Alex as they left the parking lot.
“No. We were just working on the presentation,” Alex replied. He wondered how he could give Rick the impression that he and Liam had never been more than two students who were asked to work together.
“Since we don’t have practice today, I’m taking Sofia to the mall to buy some new clothes,” Alex said, changing the topic.
He wanted to take the conversation in another direction: his girlfriend. Besides, Alex didn’t have anything to hide. He was dating Sofia, and Liam was the one who was gay.
Rick looked at him and asked, “You mean you’ve sorted out all your arguments?”
“I called Sofia this morning and asked her to meet up after school. That was all it took to make her happy again.” Alex smiled.
They started talking about Rick and Rosa’s latest date, and Alex felt that everything was again as it should have been. Maybe they could even agree on a double date some weekend.
Alex sat with Sofia during history class. The presentations were to begin that period so he couldn’t have worked with Liam anyway. Also, he wanted to avoid giving the impression that he and Liam were friends, but his heart bled a little when he saw how sad Liam looked, sitting alone on the other side of the classroom.
Alex didn’t want to hurt Liam. The boy was kind and friendly. He just had an impossible choice in front of him. When the class ended, Alex left the classroom with Sofia, avoiding any eye contact with Liam.
Lunch break didn’t make life any easier for Alex. He chose an empty table and was delighted that Liam understood not to sit with him. Still, he couldn’t help glancing at Liam during lunch, and every time he saw the sad boy eating his hamburger alone, he felt like a traitor.
Soon Sofia, Rick, and Rosa came with their trays. Sofia, beaming, sat next to Alex, and Rick took a seat on the opposite side of the table. Rosa was about to sit next to her boyfriend when she saw Liam at the other table.
“Honey, is it okay if I sit with Liam?” she asked and left before Rick could say anything. Alex and Rick looked at each other. Sofia barely noticed that Rosa had left; she had everything she wanted. She had Alex.
Just before English class, Alex finally got a chance to talk alone with Rick.
“Why did Rosa want to eat with Liam?” he asked, going straight to the topic.
“I don’t know. I asked Rosa, but she just said they had some private things they wanted to talk about,” Rick said with some irritation in his voice. “I’m not too happy that my girlfriend is hanging around with that fag.”
“Don’t say that to Rosa,” Alex advised him. “You know what a Good Samaritan she is.”
“No kidding. And don’t worry. I’m not an idiot,” Rick snorted.
When the last class ended, Alex drove to the mall with Sofia. They went to a small store that sold mostly men’s clothes. Alex bought most of his clothes there because the staff was friendly and they had an unbelievable knack for finding jeans and shirts that Alex liked. Sofia held Alex’s hand, smiling like the Cheshire cat.
“How can I help you?” the salesclerk asked politely, giving the young couple a smile. She was in her forties and dressed in a nice suit that fit her age. She wore a nametag that read, “Jenny Green.”
“Well, I need new jeans,” Alex said.
“Actually, the new collection from Diesel just arrived,” she said and scanned Alex from head to toe. Then she picked a couple of jeans from the shelf.
“This red design has been quite popular and would fit well on such a handsome young man,” she said. Alex blushed slightly.
“We have blue and black ones, too,” the salesclerk said when she noticed some hesitation on his part. Alex decided to give the red ones a chance and marched into the fitting room with the jeans and a black-and-white shirt.
“The young man clearly has good taste,” the clerk said when Alex opened the fitting room door. With that, it was a done deal.
“You could’ve asked my opinion, too,” Sofia said disappointedly when they sat down to wait for their food in a fast food restaurant. Alex had ordered a hamburger while Sofia asked for water and their lowest-calorie salad.
“Um … sorry. These looked so cool that I knew immediately that I wanted them,” Alex said, pointing to the bag containing his new clothes.
“Don’t you like them?” he asked cautiously. He couldn’t understand why he needed Sofia’s approval to buy some clothes, but he didn’t want to upset her either.
“They are nice,” Sofia said shortly and looked out the window.
While waiting for their food, Alex looked at the boy behind the counter. He was a high school student, most likely a senior. Patrick worked part-time in this restaurant, too, Alex thought, realizing that this was the first time he had eaten here since Patrick’s death.
Alex suddenly missed his friend enormously. He decided not to share his feelings with Sofia, who was now complaining that the restaurant was dirty and the staff unfriendly.
After they had finished their meal, Alex asked Sofia if she wanted to go home. She insisted on spending some more time with him. They soon found their way to Alex’s house, which was empty since his parents had gone to a movie.
Alex took a couple of soft drinks from the fridge, and they went to his room. He gave a drink to Sofia and sat in a chair. For a long time, he couldn’t think of anything to say. Sofia also sat quietly on his bed and looked at him.
“Would you like to play something?” Alex asked finally and offered Sofia a video game controller. She didn’t take it.
“Could we just talk or something?” she replied.
“Okay. Well, what do you want to talk about?” Alex asked, putting the controller away.
“You need to kiss me first,” Sofia said seductively.
Alex rose from his chair and sat on the bed. Their lips moved closer and closer until he felt Sofia’s smooth and moist lips. Far too soon, Alex pulled his head back and opened his eyes.
“Only one?” Sofia asked, moving her body closer to Alex. He felt her hands on his thighs, climbing toward his crotch.
“Wait,” Alex said. “My parents might come home soon.” He moved away from Sofia.
“Maybe I should go then,” Sofia said before she got up and walked downstairs.
Alex followed. “See you tomorrow at school,” he said and tried to smile.
“See you,” Sofia said and slammed the door.
Alex sighed. Apparently, Sofia was mad at him again. He wondered if he should call her and apologize but wasn’t entirely sure what to apologize for. How would I explain to my teammates that I broke up with the hottest chick in school? Alex pondered, tired of Sofia’s temper.
Or maybe it was just that he didn’t know how to date. Girls should be equipped with a user’s manual. At least, Sofia’s constantly changing mood was beyond his understanding.
Alex walked back to his room and picked up the video game controller. He would have called Rick and asked him to come over, but that wasn’t an option since Rick had a date with Rosa. For a moment, Alex even considered calling Liam, but he couldn’t find the courage to grab his cell phone.
Liam had spent the weekend at a music camp that Fairmont’s music school had organized in a cozy old log house in the mountains near the city of St. Richards. It was more than one-hundred-and-fifty miles from Fairmont, but
his father had offered to drive him there. Liam had played the piano since he was seven years old, and over the years he had become pretty good at it.
“Your performance was really great. I am so proud of you,” Liam’s father said in the car on their way home. The students had played in a concert, where the parents had been invited to watch.
“Yeah, it was pretty okay,” Liam replied.
They drove the first fifty miles in total silence. Now that the camp had ended, Liam felt sad again. Alex had avoided him ever since he had discovered that Liam was gay, more than two weeks ago now. However, Alex had kept his promise—he didn’t tell the entire school about it. Actually, he was neither hostile nor even unfriendly toward Liam, just distant and nonchalant. He avoided any contact between them.
The situation with Alex reminded Liam about a time when he had a major disagreement with Matthew. They had been little kids, less than ten years old, and the reason for the fight had been so childish that Liam was too embarrassed to think of it. Matthew hadn’t talked to him for a week, which was a lifetime for kids at that age. Finally, they had patched things up and become best friends again. Liam hoped that it would work as easily with Alex.
Another thing that was bothering Liam was hiding his feelings from his parents. He was as desperate to come out to them as he was afraid of their reaction. If being gay was normal, he couldn’t understand why it was so difficult to talk about it with his parents.
“Penny for your thoughts,” his father said, interrupting the silence.
“Um … nothing special. I’m just tired after camp,” Liam lied and wondered whether his father would still be proud of him if he knew that Liam wanted to date other boys.
On Monday morning, Liam took his familiar seat in history class. It would soon be his turn to give the presentation with Alex, and Liam was becoming rather worried because they hadn’t finished it yet. Actually, they hadn’t worked on it at all since the evening that had changed everything.
A large portion of his worry went away when Alex entered the classroom and unexpectedly sat next to him. Alex looked amazingly cute in his new red jeans and black-and-white shirt. Liam couldn’t help staring at him.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been an idiot lately,” Alex said and seemed sincere. Despite Alex’s handsome looks, Liam was still mad at him and stayed silent. Alex sighed, mostly to himself.
“Could we still finish this presentation together? And … I would like to talk with you after class,” he continued. Liam nodded.
When the class ended, Sofia hurried out of the room without paying any attention to Alex. Liam was surprised for a moment that she didn’t stop to talk with her boyfriend, but then realized that the couple had probably had yet another quarrel. The on–off characteristic of their relationship hadn’t gone unnoticed by anyone at Fairmont High School. Some people assumed that Alex was lousy boyfriend material, but the majority thought that Sofia was just a difficult person.
Liam, Alex, Rick, and Rosa walked from history class to their lockers. “I’ll go and ask Sofia if everything is okay,” Rosa said, walking after her best friend.
“Um … Rick, I need to talk to Liam … alone,” Alex said to Rick, looking uncomfortable. Rick looked surprised and was about to say something, but then he just nodded and walked toward his next class.
As soon as they were alone, Liam said bluntly, “So, you wanted to talk to me.”
“I want to apologize,” Alex said. He looked unsure of himself and uncomfortable, but he was looking at Liam directly in his eyes. “Your … your thing … it kind of surprised me,” he said, trying to find the correct words.
Liam felt irritated. “My thing? What’s my thing?” he asked, though he knew very well what Alex meant. The little devil inside him decided not to make this easy for Alex.
“Well … the gay thing, you know,” Alex said. He had lost eye contact with Liam, and he was now nervously twisting his fingers.
“Is my gay thing a problem for you?” Liam asked and sounded angry.
“No,” Alex said quickly and looked into Liam’s eyes again. “That’s what I’m trying to say,” he said finally. He smiled tentatively at Liam, who calmed down rapidly.
“I want to keep working on the presentation with you,” Alex said and waited until Liam nodded. “And first and foremost, I would like to be friends with you again,” he said shyly. Liam was surprised, but a weak smile appeared on his face.
“Besides, I also need somebody whose ass I can kick in Call of Duty,” Alex said when he perceived that Liam wasn’t angry anymore.
“Well, I can be your friend, but it will be your sorry ass that gets kicked,” Liam said as seriously as he could.
“So, we are okay?” Alex asked.
“Yes, but only if you hug me for compensation,” Liam said, enjoying the confused look at Alex’s face. “Just kidding,” he said finally, and Alex laughed nervously.
“Maybe some other time,” Alex said and winked. Now it was Liam’s turn to be confused.
Liam was happy that they were friends again, and for the rest of the day, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get rid of the goofy smile on his face. Every time he thought of Alex, his smile got wider and wider. In chemistry class, Jacob asked him why the sun was shining so warmly.
When that class ended and Liam had packed all of his books, he left the room to find Alex waiting for him. They walked together to the cafeteria for lunch. The only way Liam could have felt happier was if Alex had held his hand, but he knew that was off limits. They were just friends, and that was more than Liam could have ever hoped for.
“You are taking turns now,” Rick said in a loud voice when he sat down at their table. Both boys looked confused.
“A few weeks ago, you were eating with Sofia. Now it seems to be Liam’s turn again,” Rick said. “Was the seating order the topic of your secret meeting this morning?”
Alex blushed before realizing that Rick was just teasing him. He should have known that Rick would hardly miss a chance to give him a hard time.
He didn’t get a chance to answer because Rosa and Sofia arrived. Rosa immediately sat next to Rick, but Sofia chose the seat that was farthest from Alex. Apparently, the girls hadn’t yet decided whether to sit with the boys, and Sofia didn’t agree with Rosa’s choice. Rosa was too focused on Rick to notice her mistake.
“Does it bother you that Rick is joking like we’re an item?” Liam asked Alex after they left the dining hall.
“No. And we are not an item,” Alex answered honestly. “I mean … there’s nothing wrong with you…. We could be if I was … you know,” he tried to explain.
“I got the point,” Liam interrupted him. “And it’s good to know that there’s nothing wrong with me,” he joked.
“So, no kissing or groping,” Alex said and poked Liam’s arm in a friendly way.
After Alex’s swimming practice, the boys continued working on their history presentation at Alex’s house. They finished it in less than two hours, and Alex asked Liam if he would like to go skating on the river. He was surprised to hear that Liam hadn’t skated for years. Alex gave him his old skates, and they walked to the river. It was freezing outside, and they agreed to skate for only a short distance.
They skated for some twenty minutes and enjoyed the beautiful scenery. Then Liam wanted to turn back since his toes and fingers had begun to feel like icicles. Alex pushed Liam from behind to give him some more speed, and in fifteen minutes they were back where they had started.
“That was fun,” Liam said, smiling when he saw, fifty yards ahead, the familiar shore where they had left their shoes. Despite the freezing weather, he stopped to look at the houses on the riverbank.
“Let’s get you in before you turn into an ice sculpture,” Alex said.
“Let me try this again,” Liam said, and he started to skate backward. Alex had shown him how to do that.
Liam’s efforts looked clumsy, and he had trouble staying up. He kept skating,
persistently moving toward the shore with his back leading the way. Every now and then, he strayed from the plowed route, which wasn’t a big problem since there wasn’t much snow on the ice.
“LOOK OUT!” Alex shouted suddenly.
There was a hole in the ice that some people had made to try winter swimming. There were warning signs around the hole, but Liam couldn’t see them when skating backward and had wandered off the plowed route again. Alex watched, terrified, as Liam skated directly into the hole.